For a moment, even Allison was surprised by the strength of her curiosity as Remy rushed back through the sliding glass door and into the living room. The emotions coursing through her were so chaotic and frantic, she was amazed that anything had managed to get her attention through it all. As she watched Remy locate her purse and then begin digging through it in something that looked like it was just short of panic, however, Allison couldn’t help putting it all aside in favor of wondering once again what was going through her mind in that moment.

Until Remy had suddenly excused herself, Allison was lost in a swirling torrent of emotions that, after the long evening of ups and downs, were passing by her too quickly to continue processing them entirely. She was blissful but, after such a long evening, she was also exhausted. As she was leading Remy to the balcony, Allison was overwhelmed with something not entirely removed from fear, but she was also being pushed forward by something that felt very much like hope. What she’d just shown Remy was something that she’d never shared with anyone, not even Lily. She’d always been too embarrassed to admit to anyone exactly how much they meant to her, and she was too afraid of having those feelings rejected to push herself past that embarrassment. As was often the case, however, Remy was another matter entirely. Allison had given her more than ample opportunities to mishandle her heart at its most vulnerable, and each time she’d used those opportunities to either flatly refuse or move to protect it instead. Not that Allison had any reason to believe that Lily or Ember or anyone else would do any different, but Remy had gone out of her way to prove herself. There was no more denying that the time had come to open the door for someone fully, and Allison had long ago decided to allow Remy through first.

As much faith as she had in Remy by that point, Allison couldn’t ignore her need for confirmation, either. As she waited for a reaction, the silence grew deafening. For those few seconds that seemed to drag on for days, she tried and failed too many times to count to read Remy’s expression only to see deep and almost frantic thought, as though she was looking for the right words to say what she was thinking. It was just as the suspense was finally getting the better of Allison that Remy suddenly excused herself and ran back into the living room, adding a new layer of mystery to her already impenetrable thoughts.

For a while, Allison felt ready to jump out of her own skin as the anticipation built to unbearable levels, only able to distract herself with how cute Remy could be on the rare occasions when she looked energetic about something. Allison watched her through the glass door, staring intently at her phone as if she was trying to burn a hole through it as she repeatedly jabbed its screen with her fingertip. There was a time when the sight would’ve filled Allison with concern but, even though she couldn’t always perfectly read what she was seeing, the time she’d spent growing accustomed to Remy’s grim expressions and the true emotions behind them made it easier to appreciate those emotions for what they truly were. Though her readings were still far from perfect, Allison looked past the focus and determination on the surface and saw how frantic her movements were, a world removed from her usual calm and graceful motions that looked as if each step she took was choreographed. The slight trembling was evident even from a distance, something that looked entirely out of place coming from hands typically as steady and precise as a surgeon’s. Allison wondered if she was upset about something and, while she didn’t look entirely happy, she didn’t seem as if she was forcing herself, either. Removing her expression from the equation, it looked almost like excitement, like watching someone opening a gift.

How does she not realize how cute she is?

Before Allison could wonder any more, Remy suddenly turned on her heel and made her way back toward the balcony, moving so quickly that she looked as if she was just barely keeping herself from breaking into a sprint. Allison was so enthralled by the rare sight of Remy’s being excited about something, she’d nearly forgotten her curiosity until Remy came to a stop in front of her, holding up her phone and pointing its screen at her.

“H—here’s the…um…here.”

Allison squinted at the phone, both waiting for her eyes to adjust to the bright light and attempting to make sense of what she was seeing. “What is this? A boarding pass?” Looking over it again, it appeared to be for a flight to Toronto and, after doing some quick math, Allison realized that the date was several months before Remy arrived in Violet Meadows.

With a quick nod, Remy took a deep breath. When she spoke again, her voice sounded a little more steady. “It’s from…well…the first time I tried to leave Metairie.”

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“First time?”

“Well, the first time I actually did something more than want to. I actually took steps toward it…came up with a plan. I knew where I was going, had money saved, got a passport…I even bought a plane ticket. This…I was supposed to be on this plane.”

Allison’s fascination quickly took a backseat to concern as she felt Remy’s mood shifting, her excitement fading away and yielding to sadness. All that kept Allison from disrupting the moment with her need to bring an end to Remy’s discomfort was the knowledge that if she was willingly taking herself back to such a dark time in her life, it was because there was something about it that she felt the need to share.

“What…went wrong?”

“I did.” Remy’s mask remained firmly in place, but the sadness in her voice was unmistakable. “Even after going through all of that, I was so…uncertain. I had so many doubts, wondering if I was making a mistake or giving up too early and…well, to be honest, I was scared. I didn’t think I could make it on my own. I was still going to go, but the last straw was that I couldn’t convince Madison to come with me. She was the one who came up with the idea of just starting over somewhere else, but when I started actually making it happen, she…”

As hard as Allison tried to put aside the sudden welling up of hatred triggered by hearing that name again, there was no ignoring that there was now an entirely new reason for it. Even if it meant that Remy would’ve been in another country with another woman and they never would’ve met, there was no forgiving anyone who played a role in keeping her in what she could only think of as someone’s idea of hell. It took all of her strength to keep herself from derailing the conversation to mete out some well deserved anger, at least entirely.

“So she got cold feet and decided to drag you down with her.”

Much to Allison’s surprise, Remy gave a weak smile at her assessment of the situation. “It’s complicated, but yeah. Something like that. I thought about still taking my flight myself, but…I just couldn’t. I looked at that boarding pass every day until the minute it expired and the plane left without me. Then I looked at it every day after while everything was falling apart. I was mad at myself more than anything because I actually had a way out and was too scared to take it. It became a reminder of what happens when you let opportunities get away from you…and what happens when you trust people. I looked at it at least once a day to make sure I never forgot that.”

Allison’s anger vanished, her need for justice overtaken by the need to comfort. Even with everything she’d learned about Remy and all of the weight on her soul, it never occurred to her that she was willingly shouldering an even heavier burden. She knew better than to think that she understood entirely, but Allison couldn’t help thinking that it sounded as if Remy was torturing herself.

“I guess I’m the one that said a bit too much this time.”

Startled out of her thoughts by Remy’s apologetic tone, Allison rushed to clear up the misconception. “Well, you certainly sound like you’re punishing yourself for something someone else did wrong, but no. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

Again, Remy unexpectedly smiled in response. “That’s…kind of what made me want to show it to you. I didn’t think about it until just now, but I haven’t looked at it in…a while.”

Allison suddenly had an urge to suppress a smile as the subtle shift in Remy’s tone gave her a feeling of hope for where the conversation was going. “How long, exactly?”

Despite her sadness, Remy did her best to look lighthearted as she playfully shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure, but it wasn’t long after some lady came into the produce department and turned the air blue because she couldn’t find any pomegranates.” Remy glanced at Allison, and something in what she saw caused her to smile widely. “It was the first time that I’d found a flaw in my little plan…a fault in the logic, I guess. It wasn’t as easy as just saying that nobody can be trusted anymore after…after I met you.”

It was in that moment that Allison finally understood what Remy wanted her to see. It was reciprocation, an attempt to share something of significance with her that matched what Allison had shared herself only moments earlier. Closing the distance between them, Allison reached up and wrapped her arms around Remy’s neck with an exasperated sigh as she smiled.

“You always have to try to make us even, don’t you?”

She pulled Remy’s lips down to hers before she could respond, still smiling the entire time. There were dozens of questions still unanswered that were floating in Allison’s mind, but none of them were more important than her realization in that moment. What Remy wanted to tell her wasn’t just about making them even, but about giving a piece of herself to her.