As she sat peacefully in Remy’s arms, Allison’s head was still spinning. It was an almost drunken feeling, her thoughts and emotions whirling around her too quickly for her to take note of them aside from acknowledging them as pleasant. There were recollections of the evening so far, sensations still lingering on her skin along her neck and, seemingly as a result, thoughts of Remy. It was difficult to be certain, though. It seemed that no matter how full her mind was, there was always room for thoughts of Remy.
Somewhere in the swirling torrent in her mind, there was a brief flickering coming from a thought so far removed from the others that it was almost alien in its nature. After a moment of focus, her stomach soured with the recognition of not a memory of the evening, but rather of the distant past. She pushed it aside as soon as she recognized it, but not quickly enough to avoid remembering those final days before leaving home for the last time and declaration being shouted at her. More out of desperation than sadness or anger, they’d formed a united front and stood together, swearing again and again that she would never find happiness and that her path would lead her to ruin as if attempting to place a curse on her. Even in her annoyance and disgust as she dispelled the memory, there was a moment of sympathy for Remy as Allison wondered how she could deal with such constant interruptions of her happiness.
As if she knew that Allison was thinking about her, Remy leaned forward and placed a kiss on Allison’s jaw before giving a contented sigh and resting her head on her shoulder. Seemingly as a reflex, Allison pulled Remy’s arms tighter around her as she pressed her back into Remy’s chest. In a way, it felt as if months had passed between them rather than hours when thinking about how quickly she’d become comfortable with placing her heart in Remy’s hands, no longer even questioning its safety in her care. It was difficult to imagine that it was earlier that same day that she had to be convinced to even meet with Remy for fear that those same hands would push away that same heart. Again, Remy seemed to be accepting a silent cue as Allison felt gentle pressure around her waist, the simple and silent gesture of no more than a hug confirming Allison’s beliefs in just the right moment. Suddenly, it stood to reason that it had been so easy to place her faith in Remy when, thinking about not only the evening up to that moment but every other moment they’d shared together. In all of that time, Allison couldn’t think of a single example of when her faith in Remy had not been rewarded.
Oh! Oh…I guess that makes sense, after all.
Allison had nearly forgotten her curiosity about why her mind seemed to betray her in briefly forcing her to relive the past she’d worked so hard to leave behind her. It wasn’t until that moment when a flash of inspiration hit that brought the solution that she remembered having attempted to solve the mystery. Looking at the past again while using the present as a lens, it immediately ceased to be the source of agony that she’d recoiled from touching as though it had burned her. The curse they’d attempted to place on her, the chant led by the latest future husband that had been chosen for her, was nothing short of laughable as it feebly bounced off of the protection that Remy’s affection granted her.
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Remy was the latest in a long series of pieces of evidence of her thriving in spite of the expectations and wishes of those who opposed her, but she was also the greatest of them. Somehow, Remy brought all else into focus and, for the first time, it was becoming clear to Allison that she’d obtained what she’d left home with the hope of finding. More than that, though, Remy was the crown jewel in that collection, the one missing piece that was the most coveted. With Remy by her side, Allison could finally begin to stand above the past and look down as it desperately clutched at what was now far beyond its reach. She thought of all of their claims of superiority, from the moral to the logical to the inherent, and it slowly dawned on her that they knew the entire time that she didn’t need them. They needed her, and it was their desperation for her that caused them to lose her. It was the first time she could remember thinking of anyone from her past and feeling anything like justice.
“Well, that’s a happy face. What’s on your mind?”
Shaken from her thoughts by Remy’s voice, Allison realized for the first time just how widely she was smiling. With the mood finally calm after so much time spent recounting the horrors of the past, a reflex not far removed from panic urged her to not spoil it by trying to voice everything she’d been thinking, something ultimately elating but requiring an unpleasant explanation for context. Turning to look behind her and seeing Remy’s placid expression tinged with curiosity, it seemed to be confirmation that her happiness took priority.
“Nothing.”
Oh…so that’s what that feels like.
In spite of her intentions, Remy’s face rapidly took a turn that made Allison think of looking up at the sky to see telltale signs of a coming storm in spite of the sunshine. Remy’s gaze became piercing as she attempted to uncover what it suddenly seemed foolishly hopeless to try to hide from her. She didn’t look upset, but she clearly knew that there was more to the moment than she was being told. More than that, it was equally clear that she wasn’t going to simply ignore it. Allison felt a sense of unease that was immediately followed by guilt as she wondered how many times she’d given Remy the same look. Ultimately, she couldn’t help smiling again, thinking that it wasn’t long ago that a situation like this would’ve annoyed her. Instead, it was confirmation that her faith in Remy was well placed, feeling a sense of security from falling under Remy’s watchful gaze. For the first time in longer than she could remember, Allison felt safe.
With no small amount of difficulty, Allison pulled herself free of Remy’s arms and slowly stood from the couch. Inspiration had struck again, this time leading her to explain her thoughts while hopefully preserving the mood that she hoped would never end. Turning to Remy, Allison took her hand and gently pulled her to her feet before leading her across the living room and toward the sliding glass doors leading to the balcony.
“Alright, you win. Come with me and I’ll tell you all about it…but there’s something I want to show you first.”