Remy closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as she sat leaning against the open window in her office. Despite the sun’s being at its full height in the sky, the late summer breeze was tinged with a faint but noticeable chill as it made its way through the window and across her skin. Nobody else in Violet Meadows seemed to have noticed it but, having spent nearly her entire life bathed in subtropical warmth, Remy was especially sensitive to even the most subtle shifts away from sweltering heat. There was no mistaking the coming of autumn and she cherished every breeze with a gentle bite of cold and nearly imperceptible shift in color of a leaf, every one all but entirely alien to her. They were small but constant reminders of not only how far she’d come, but also how far away the familiar truly was.

As a nearby clock beeped to announce the top of the hour, Remy sighed in spite of herself. As much as she’d been attempting to ignore it since she’d arrived at work that morning, she couldn’t entirely ignore the sense of loneliness that had been creeping at the edge of her thoughts. Glancing at the clock and seeing that it was finally noon, she grumbled at the arrival of her lunch hour the same way she would at the thought of any other task she’d been avoiding. Frustration and a soft pain in her chest reminded her in spite of her efforts that it was the first time in weeks that she’d be eating alone. With the upcoming winery tours just around the corner, Allison’s schedule was becoming increasingly hectic with research, incessant meetings with owners, social media posts promoting the upcoming collaboration and a noticeable increase in traffic that was already resulting from the effort. Though she’d done her best to manage it all, it was only a matter of time before there was more work to do than time to do it.

Having predicted that outcome even before Allison, Remy was prepared with a brave face when Allison apologetically announced that she’d have to miss their daily lunches for the rest of that week. She already hated that Allison had so much stress to endure; she wasn’t about to add to it by showing her disappointment, especially when she knew that Allison was already feeling unnecessary guilt. In her efforts to open up more, Remy had utterly failed to hide just how much their time together meant to her. It was something Allison had said more than once that she wanted and, whether it was a result of the openness or simply the effort to create it, she seemed genuinely pleased that Remy had become so much more prone to sharing her feelings over the last three months. Seeing the sadness and regret in her eyes the previous evening over dinner as she canceled their plans, however, Remy questioned the wisdom of her decision.

Taking another deep breath and reminding herself that their usual dinner date was only hours away, Remy made her way out of the office only to be startled as she opened the door. Serenity stood just on the other side, her hand raised as if she was just about to knock and looking even more unsettled than Remy felt.

“S—sorry! Leaving! I…I mean…lunch.”

Pushing her surprise aside, Remy raised an eyebrow as she tried to make sense of what she was hearing. In addition to being easily startled, Serenity was very nervous in general and, when upset, was often difficult to follow. “Deep breath, Serenity. Take your time…there’s no hurry.”

Closing her eyes and inhaling sharply, Serenity took a quiet moment to center herself. When her eyes opened again, she no longer looked frightened but seemed every bit as disturbed, her fear quickly yielding to embarrassment. “Sorry…I mean, are you…um…leaving for lunch?”

Remy was curious for a moment, unable to fathom what interest Serenity would have in her lunch but unable to shake the feeling that there was a reason she was asking. It only took a moment of considering her precise timing and seeing how far out of her comfort zone she was for Remy’s curiosity to turn into suspicion. “Yes, I was just on my way out…but I’m guessing you already knew that.”

Remy had no idea what her face looked like in that moment, but Serenity’s reaction told her everything she needed to know about it. She began visibly trembling, and her eyes darted from side to side, giving away her thoughts of abandoning the conversation and running away. Remy sighed loudly before she could stop herself, already exasperated with the situation as it was exactly why she avoided dealing with Serenity directly. It wasn’t a matter of dislike; in fact, it was quite the opposite as Remy was rather fond of her. It was more a matter of fear. It was well known that Serenity was easily disturbed and had a heart of glass, and it led Remy to think of her as a porcelain doll on display. She didn’t trust herself to take her out for fear of accidentally breaking her so, no matter how fond of her she may be, she saw it best to simply leave her in her case where she was safe. Until that moment, the fact that Serenity avoided her just as much led to the idea that she’d made the right call.

Feeling the situation quickly spiraling out of her control, Remy reminded herself that she was the boss, and that meant that she had responsibilities. It made it easier to clear her thoughts of everything but the problem at hand and start making decisions. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything…even though I definitely just did. What I should’ve asked was why you’re asking.” Thinking for a moment, Remy added, “I should also be asking who put you up to this.”

Looking slightly more calm but still giving the impression that she may break into a sprint at any moment, Serenity extended her trembling hand and showed her phone’s screen. “I…I mean…Kate…”

I don’t even know why I bothered to ask.

The list of people likely to get involved in Remy’s life was long enough to warrant investigation, but few would take it as far as involving Serenity. It was a poorly kept secret that the two of them tended to avoid each other’s paths, so whoever was behind it wouldn’t have done so without a good reason as well as absolute certainty that it would end well. Cautiously taking the phone for fear of upsetting Serenity more, Remy quickly read through the most recent text message on the screen.

Just ask her to have lunch with you. It will do you both some good. Don’t worry, she likes you. She’ll say yes.

Remy just barely managed to repress the groan that was building within her. Since the first date with Allison, she was officially out of excuses for doubting Kate’s wisdom no matter how forcefully she imparted it. Kate certainly fit the profile that Remy had built of her suspect; nobody that knew either her or Serenity knew them as well as Kate, and there was no denying that she had their best interests at heart. More than that, Remy had never known her to be so forceful and turn out to be wrong. Fighting herself to speak without grumbling, Remy returned Serenity’s phone and turned toward the time clock again.

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“Well, let’s get on with it. Just do me a favor and tell her that I fought you on it.”

As Remy started walking, Serenity stared blankly for a moment before rushing to catch up. “Wh—what? Why?”

“I already can’t get around admitting that she’s right. I don’t want to go down easy, too.”

Several minutes later, Remy and Serenity were sitting at a table in the store’s deli and waiting in silence for their orders. Though she normally appreciated silence to the point of complaining about anything else, it was driving Remy mad when the tension in the air was so thick. Unable to take any more waiting for the other shoe to drop, she went entirely against her instincts and broke the silence just to get to the inevitable.

“So was this just about doing Kate a favor, or did you have something you wanted to say?”

Fidgeting uncomfortably, Serenity surprisingly looked slightly relieved to have a reason to speak. “We—well…both, kind of. Kate…I think she’s…worried. About you. Because you…you’re…”

Again, Remy repressed an urge to express frustration. She didn’t want Serenity to think that it was directed at her as, if anything, she was aiming it at herself. “Yeah, I’m alone today. It’s not that big a deal. Before a few months ago, I ate lunch alone every day.”

Serenity looked down at her folded hands in her lap, looking as if she was concentrating. It gave Remy an uncomfortably familiar feeling, as though Serenity wanted to continue but was motivated by fear to choose her words carefully. “Well…yeah, you did, but…since Allison, I mean, you…you just look so…happy. Today, though…”

Remy didn’t force her to finish the thought. She was growing weary of constantly being described with words like “happy” as though the emotion was entirely foreign to her, something that was especially frustrating as she knew that people had very good reason to think that way. “Really, it’s fine. We’ve got this trip coming up in a couple of weeks, so we’ll have plenty of time together.”

Serenity surprised Remy when she immediately perked up, her expression finally giving something higher priority than unease. “Oh! Right! Jade was talking about it, too…her trip, I mean. Actually, she hasn’t talked about much else for a while…other than Mari, anyway. I feel like I’ve already met her.” Just as Remy was beginning to feel relieved by the faint glimmer of a change of subject, Serenity’s expression again became cautious. “But…what about now, though? Are…are you…sure you’re okay?”

Holding back an annoyed sigh, Remy tried to push past the concern. “It’s actually good for me, if you think about it. We spend just about every waking moment together when we’re not working, so I should get used to the fact that there’s going to be times when we can’t.”

Instead of looking satisfied with the response, Serenity looked confused. “So, you want distance?”

Remy’s insides ran cold at the sound of the speculation. She had to restrain herself again, this time for the sake of speaking her response rather than shouting it. “No, not at all. Missing her today is absolutely destroying me. That’s…actually why I think that getting used to being apart might be a good thing. I don’t want to get too…attached, I guess. It's a mistake I've made before.”

Serenity went quiet for a long time, clearly trying to make sense of what she’d heard. It took nearly a full minute for her to finally speak again. “I…don’t think I understand. I mean, I understand that feeling of wanting to be with someone that badly, especially when they want to be with me, too. I know that feeling of wanting to spend every waking moment with them. I just…I don’t understand holding back. If you’re both happy with how things are, then why not just go with it?”

It was Remy’s turn to take time to think about exactly what she wanted to say. It was a reasonable question, but answering it without saying more than she wanted to was seemingly impossible. “It’s a difficult balancing act. I feel the way I feel and I want to show her that, but…I don’t want to show her too much of it. I don’t want to smother her with it.”

“What makes you think you would?”

“I can barely contain what I’m feeling, myself. I can’t even imagine putting that kind of a burden on someone else.”

Much to Remy’s surprise, Serenity covered her mouth and laughed quietly. “S—sorry…it’s just…well, I’ve seen the two of you together plenty of times, and I’ve seen the way she looks at you. It’s not how someone looks at someone they want less affection from.”

In the midst of preparing to counter Serenity’s argument, Remy stopped dead as she considered what she was hearing. Between Allison and Kate, it was becoming a familiar scenario for Remy to find herself questioning her reasoning with the benefit of another perspective only to find that she was entirely mistaken. It felt too convenient for her to relax just yet, but the prospect of being able to allow herself to let go of her inhibitions entirely was tempting. Stuck between desire and fear and not having the emotional bandwidth to process either after a morning of being trapped in her own thoughts, Remy pivoted and tried to take the conversation in a new direction.

“You seem to have some pretty strong feelings about it. I’m getting the feeling you aren’t just guessing at this. What makes you so sure?”

Serenity continued to smile, though the sadness tainting it was immediately apparent. “It’s a long story, but…let’s just say that I know for a fact that you can regret not saying enough the same way you can regret saying too much.”

Remy’s need to resist temptation was dealt another mortal wound as, for just a moment, Remy’s imagination flashed an image of her parting ways with Allison with things left unsaid. It was every bit as painful as the thought of parting ways with her for any reason. She couldn’t say what the solution was, but it was quickly becoming apparent that going all-or-nothing with any one strategy wasn’t going to be it.

There was wondering for the most brief of moments how to even start striking a balance when Remy recalled Kate’s text message and her belief that this conversation would end up helping the both of them. Refusing to allow herself to smile at the realization that Kate’s foresight had proved itself accurate once again, Remy silently relented and stopped fighting against the current. Whether it was a matter of pride or simply not wanting to endure Kate’s inevitable gloating, none of it was more important that the future with Allison. Remy turned to Serenity and, setting aside her fears of saying the wrong thing, once again went against her instincts and prepared to ask for help.

“Well, we have an hour. If you don’t mind telling it, that should be plenty of time for a long story.”