Chapter Four: Shattered dreams
I sat there for a moment, hoping dad just made an unfunny joke, or miscounted. But after another five seconds of waiting, I couldn’t take it anymore. I opened my eyes.
Most of the people had their left palm outstretched towards me with unfocused eyes. Their gaze flickered back and forth like they were reading something. System notifications. They were using identification and analytic Skills.
“Dad? Did you miscount?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer—I desperately needed it to not be true.
He snapped out of his trance, lowering his arm. There was a sad sympathy in his eyes. “No, I… Um… I’m sorry Felix, I did not miscount. You are now eighteen years and fifteen seconds old.”
People around the room murmured their agreement. Their Skills told them the same. I was now an adult.
“Felix, calm down,” dad said. I hadn’t noticed but my breath had quickened, and I was nervously shifting in place. “We don’t know anything about how dragons unlock their System. For all we know, nothing happens and you suddenly just have access. Try opening your status page.”
I forcefully calmed my breathing, taking deep breaths, and laid down on all fours. I didn’t trust my shaking legs to keep me standing.
“Status,” I spoke out loud.
I fought to keep my breathing steady as nothing happened. There was no page of text filling up my vision, telling me how strong I was, how fast I was, how nimble I was. There was just… nothing.
I looked up at dad, but he was blurry. For a moment, sharp hope shot through before I realized it was just my tears. Dad only became blurrier.
They were still expecting an answer, though, and with effort, I shook my head. I didn’t think I could speak.
People started talking among each other and some even raised their voices, filling the quiet room with an awful din. But I barely noticed any of it, the roaring in my ears overwhelmed it all.
This couldn’t be true. It was impossible. Everyone unlocked the System. It wasn’t something you either did or didn’t do. It was a fact of life. You unlocked the System when you turned eighteen, regardless of species; it was as simple as that.
Except, that wasn’t true anymore, was it? Now you unlocked the System when you turned eighteen, except if your name was Felix.
Oh stars, would I still be able to join the Academy now? Should I even still want to? No, no; I definitely still wanted to. But could I? Would they take someone without a System? I was already signed up, and dad was the Headmaster; surely they’d make an exception for me, right?
But was there even a point? At least half of the classes were about the use of Skills and how to gain them. What use could the Academy possibly still be to me now?
That still left a whole bunch of classes, though. I had to focus on that. This wasn’t entirely hopeless.
If I could get in, that was. And the more I thought about it, the less likely it seemed. I might be strong for a system-less person, but compared to someone with even just twenty-five levels, I was weak and fragile. I’d be a liability during the combat classes, slow in the theory classes, and likely wouldn’t be able to pass any of the exams, anyway.
So, then what? Spent the rest of my life ferrying people around? Sure, it has been fun so far. But doing that for the rest of my life? I couldn’t imagine. I didn’t want to imagine.
But what else could I do? Who would hire an Unskilled worker? Even getting a menial job would be hard without Attributes to back me up. I suppose Bob might have a place for me, but farming for the rest of my life? If I wasn’t already shaking so badly, I would’ve shuddered at the thought.
I wanted to help people, protect people, get stronger, and to make a name for myself. I couldn’t do any of that on a farm. Stars, was there even a point, then? I’ll be stuck tilling land together with Bob’s skeletons the rest of life, won’t I? Nothing but the smell of soil, old bones, and wheat? I didn’t want that. Was there even a point to liv—a hand on my shoulder shook me out of my thoughts. I looked up and Sìnna was standing there, gently rubbing my shoulder.
“Take a deep breath,” she told me. Lost and emotionally exhausted, I followed her instructions. “And out. And in. And out.”
With gentle words, soft touches, and patience, she slowly calmed me down. At least enough that I could take in my surroundings. Looking around the room, I could see people were still arguing. My father was doing damage control, trying to calm everyone down, while Bob the necromantic farmer had conjured up a fence of bones to block people from getting near me. Although it had felt like an eternity had passed already, I didn’t think all that much time had passed at all.
“Everything will be okay,” Sìnna said. “We’ll figure it out. Some of the worlds’ smartest and most knowledgeable people are in this room trying to solve the issue. If they can’t, no one can.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I murmured.
“Everything will work out, you’ll see.”
She continued to gently rub my shoulder, grounding me to reality, while I forced my breathing to become steadier and slower. As my breath slowed, my eyes threatened to close. I was exhausted. I was already tired before everyone arrived earlier this evening, having had a long and exciting day. But this… mess really took the last of my energy.
“I think I’m gonna go to bed,” I told Sìnna
“Okay,” she said. “Do you want me to walk you to your room?”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine.”
I stood up and Bob opened up a hole in the fence, while glaring at those who took a step forward as he did. I wished everyone a good night and received a few sleep-wells in return. Dad gave me a hug, reassuring me everything would be okay, and kissed me goodnight.
As I made my way down the hallway and up the stairs, I could hear someone yell “He doesn’t even have a level!” and then a few muffled “Keep your voice down!”
I took a deep breath and tried to hold back the tears that threatened to pour out again. If you don’t have a level, it means you don’t have a System. Only children and young animals are supposed to not have a level. I hurried up my pace and dashed up the stairs.
I crashed into my bed, and as the events of the last ten minutes replayed in my head over and over again, it became too much; the tears that I had been holding back come spilling out again, soaking my pillows, and filling the previously quiet room with the sounds of sobs as I cried myself to sleep.
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I slept dreamlessly and woke up late in the morning. I looked at the clock on the wall—10:43. Good, I could still make it Alex in time for our library meet-up.
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Last night's events were still fresh on my mind, and I felt like shit. I wasn't entirely sure I still wanted to go meet up with Alex at all, but I had promised—and I kept my promises. Plus, the prospect of hanging out with a new friend excited me, even if everything else currently going on in my life sucked.
I stumbled out of bed and made my way to my shower. I didn’t really need to shower since I was unable to sweat, but it made me feel better and made my scales shinier, which again, made me feel a little better. I didn’t particularly care about my appearance—it wasn't like I could do much to change it, anyway; I didn’t do clothes, and I didn't have any hair to style—but glittering in the sunlight while I flew through the sky always made me feel a bit like a falling star.
I brushed my teeth and put on the saddle and pouch, then checked that I had everything I needed. I could always get back later to grab what I’d forgotten, but I want to get out of the house for a bit.
Dad was still sitting at the breakfast table, which was surprising; usually, he was gone before the sun rose. Though, I suppose last night must have been exhausting for him as well.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked.
I wasn’t entirely in the mood for conversation, but I couldn’t just not respond.“Well enough,” I said. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I took the morning off. How are you feeling? I came to check in on you yesterday, but you were already asleep.”
Knowing lying would be pointless, anyway, I told him the truth. “Like shit, honestly.”
Dad really didn’t like it when I cursed, but he kept quiet this time. That, if anything, told me more about the severity of the situation than a thousand words could.
He nodded slowly. “That’s fair. I want you to know that I’m going to figure this out. I already have the Archivists scouring the archives. If there’s anything in there that might help, they’ll find it.”
I gave him a hug. “Thanks dad.” I was doubtful that they’d find anything, but I appreciated the effort.
He looked me over. “You’re still going out to meet with Alex then?”
“I promised I would. Besides, I figured getting out of the house for a bit might not be the worst idea,” I said darkly.
He hummed his agreement while he made both of us breakfast.
“I think I’ll take this to go, if you don’t mind.”
Dad shook his head. “That’s fine. I’ll go to the office to see if the Archivists found anything yet, then.”
I took the steak but left the bread—I tried bread once; it did not work out well—gave dad another quick hug and made my way outside before he could say anything more. The clock said I still had well over an hour to get to the dorms, so I decided to walk rather than fly. Our house was in a small park, on its own separate island. How dad managed to get his own island was beyond me, but right now I was rather grateful.
As I walked through the tiny forest, my mind wandered back to yesterday. Now that I was calmer and not nearly as tired, the situation wasn’t as bad as it first seemed. It was still plenty bad, but I could now see I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life on Bob's undead farm.
And now that my mind was clearer, I realized joining the Academy wouldn’t be as much of an issue I thought it was. From the many, many times I’ve read the requirements to join, never did it once say you had to have your system unlocked, only that you had to be a minimum of eighteen years old. Normally that was the same thing, but not for me.
And I wouldn’t be a liability. I could manage just fine here at the main campus, so I’d manage a classroom full of Path-less students just fine. There was a good reason why there were so very few non-members at the campus itself. It was dangerous here for anyone without a level. Even now, the new students were kept mostly separated from everyone else to reduce risk. So, if I could handle that, I would be just fine in the classes. At least for the first year.
And I hadn't had any issues with the theory, both magical and mundane, so far. I was sure I’d be fine in the future as well. So what if I was a little slower? I would just take a little longer, that was all.
I’d probably be a bit of an outcast the rest of my life once this came out, but that was already the case anyway.
Really, the biggest issue is that I wouldn’t be able to do what I had wanted to do, or help people the way I had wanted to, but when was life ever predictable? I’d have plenty of time to think about it and figure out some other way to accomplish my goals.
I always had my instinctive magic, so it wasn’t like I wouldn’t be like I could do no magic at all. Life was just more difficult now.
The forest was nice this time of day. Not too warm, nor too cold. The rays of light shining through the leaves warmed my scales where they landed. In the short ten minutes I spent meandering through the forest, I started to feel a lot better already and I was looking forward to my meeting with Alex again. I still wasn’t feeling great, and there was this looming sense of dread whenever I thought about my future, but it helped.
I had to take walks like this more often, to just take the time to think, rather than rushing to whatever destination I was heading towards.
Not too often though, flying was too much fun.
After about an hour of walking, I had enough and took off into the sky. It would’ve taken me hours to get to the dorms by walking, anyway. It was on the other side of the campus. Maybe if I’d run I could’ve gotten there in a reasonable timeframe, but why run when I could fly?
Alex was already sitting outside at a table in the garden when I arrived at the dorms. He was talking with a female shadow elf who reminded me of Conad. She turned to me as I landed and excused herself from Alex’s company. Instead of walking away, though, she ran up to where I was landing.
“Felix, wait up! I wanted to talk to you!” she called out, and I groaned. I might have been feeling better, but I really wasn’t in the mood for meeting new people. But it would be rude to not hear her out at the very least. She probably only had a question about the dorms, and I did promise to answer any of their questions yesterday.
I sighed and looked up at her. “Sure, what’s up?”
“I wanted to apologize on behalf of my brother. He wasn’t happy that our father sent us here and took his anger out on you,” the woman said.
For a brief moment, I wondered if this ‘brother’ was somehow responsible for last night’s fiasco, but I dismissed the idea immediately. It simply made no sense. After that, I wondered who in the stars she was talking about, and why this ‘brother’ of hers couldn’t just apologize on his own.
“I’m sorry, I have no idea who you are or who you’re talking about.”
“Sorry, I keep forgetting,” she said with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of her head “I’m still getting used to not being recognized everywhere I go. Let me introduce myself.” She held out her hand for me to shake. She seemed to hesitate for a moment. “Wait, do dragons shake hands? Claws? Nevermind. My name is Tiki Conad, I’m from the Jostium Empire.”
I gently grabbed her hand with a talon and shook it. “I don’t know about other dragons, but I do shake hands. And I prefer ‘talons’” Then it hits me who she said she was. “Oh! You’re that prick’s sister!”
She sighed. Deeply. In the background, Alex was chuckling. “Yes, I’m that prick’s sister. I’m sorry for everything my brother has said about—and to—you. I know you heard most of it, your ears twitched every time he insulted you.”
They did? How did I not know this?
“He also insulted my father, my mother, and my—actually he mostly insulted me.”
I didn’t even have a mother to insult, but he didn’t know that when he did so.
“Yes. That too. I wanted you to know that he doesn’t represent our country’s opinion, or mine for that matter.”
I pressed a talon to my head. I did not like politics. “I’m not going to judge you, or hold you responsible for your brother’s foolishness and assholery. And while I find it admirable you took this burden onto your shoulder, I won’t accept your apology on his behalf. If he’s sorry, he can say so himself.” I purposely left out any mention of not blaming her country. I was sure she was acutely aware of that.
She sighed, but nodded. “That’s fair.”
I turned to Alex. “Are you ready to go?”
While he checked himself over for his stuff, I turned back to Tiki, realizing I hadn’t said everything I wanted to.
“One more thing. The next time he insults me, my father, or my imaginary mother, I won’t be nearly as passive as I was yesterday. Tell him to keep that in mind when you see him again.”
I might not have a System, but I was still significantly stronger and faster than he was right now. She hesitated for a moment, then nodded. I turned back to Alex. He was holding a large empty sack in his hands and was busy shoving it into his backpack. He probably could’ve fit his whole body in that bag with room to spare.
“What in the stars’ names do you need such a large bag for?” I asked.
“We’re going to the Library, right?” is all he said in response. He had a point.
He finished storing the bag, and I lowered myself so he could climb on. He strapped himself in, faster now that it was his second time doing it, and told me he was ready to go.
With the limited space in the garden, I took off vertically, rather than with a running start. It took a little longer to gather speed like this, but with my magic giving me a small boost, we were soon soaring through the sky.