Chapter 67: Boyfriends

Alex Sandclaw’s POV:

As the sun set, I lay in Felix’s arms and listened to his powerful heart. Thump! Thump! Thump! It was a reassuring sound. Never stopping, never going away. Just there, thumping its slow steady rhythm like his life depended on it—which it did, I supposed. While I listened, Felix gently rubbed and caressed the back of my head, occasionally murmuring something sweet in my ears. I leaned into the touch.

I felt happy. How could I not? Felix and I were dating now. In the back of my mind, a small voice tried to remind me why we were dating, why I was here at the Academy at all, but I shut it up. It didn’t matter. Not right now.

I shifted around in Felix’s grip and looked up at him. He looked at me, too, smiling. He reached forward and pressed a kiss to my lips, and I kissed him back. There was no tongue involved, just a gentle, chaste kiss. While not as exciting as our making out had been, it felt right.

I turned back to the sun. It was about halfway down the horizon now. It was a bit surreal to think we were dating now. Or, at least, I thought we were. We’d both said we liked the other, and then we’d kissed and made out. But we’d never actually agreed to date, did we? We should talk about that. Not now, though. I was too busy enjoying the feeling of Felix’s strong arms wrapped around me.

Thinking of Felix’s arms reminded me of how he’d rubbed the ridges on my back earlier. I hadn’t expected it to feel so good. No one had ever touched me there before like that. We’d been kissing, figuring out the logistics of fitting our snouts and tongues together in the most pleasurable way—quite the challenge since his head was bigger than mine. Then he’d slipped his talon underneath my shirt and made me moan. I liked it, I really did. Things had escalated from there, with Felix’s talon roaming lower towards my but, and finally with me taking my shirt off. If we hadn’t stopped there, I was sure my pants would’ve followed not soon after.

But we had stopped. Or more accurately, I’d stopped us. While I was okay with Felix making me moan, as surprising as that was, the idea of anything more happening…

Despite everything, despite all the talking with the support group, despite me reading Scales in the Night and Rivers, the idea that I was undressing for another man, that said man would see me naked in such a way, that he might make me come… it weirded me out. It was irrational, and I knew it was irrational. The thought of another man jerking me off turned me on, and the thought of Felix doing so even more. I had all these fantasies running around in my head, and I couldn’t wait to try them out, but when push came to shove, I got uncomfortable.

It wasn’t fair towards Felix. I’d let my hands roam over him the exact same way his talons had roamed over me, and he was already naked, and that didn’t bother me. For the Star’s sake, if I glanced down, I could even see his slit glisten slightly from the wetness of arousal. And while I couldn’t bear to look for too long, the sight was immensely hot. But there was something about another man making me feel good in that way, to make my slit glisten like that—which I could feel it absolutely would, had it been exposed—that just made me uncomfortable and I didn’t know why.

Maybe it was just something I had to get used to, just like I had to get used to describing myself as gay. The first few days, I’d felt uncomfortable whenever I did. Really, it wasn’t until that first meeting with the support group that I’d started feeling comfortable doing it.

At least, I hoped it was the same. Because I really did want to do more than just kissing. There were so many things I wanted to try. I wanted to turn him on, to see what his dick looked like, to jerk him off, to give him a blowjob, and to have him do all the same to me. I wanted to make out and let his talons roam wherever they wanted, just to name a few. A small part of me even wanted to try some anal stuff eventually, even if the rest of me still disagreed—it was a long way off either way.

I’d just need to give it some time and just keep trying. Slowly work it up like I’d done with describing myself as gay. Something told me there would be plenty of cuddling and kissing in the future, anyway. Plenty of opportunity.

I should probably talk with Felix about it, too. He always knew just the right thing to say. Like just now, when he told me we could do it all at my pace. I still felt guilty about stopping him, but his reassurance helped a lot. Maybe we could talk about it when we read that adult romance book of his together.

Felix nuzzled me again, and I titled my head up to give him a kiss instead. He smiled. I let out a content sigh and pushed the other thoughts away. I’d have plenty of time to think about them later. Right now I just wanted to spend time with my new… actually, what were we now? I’d let myself get distracted from the fact I was going to ask if we were dating, since we hadn’t talked about it yet. We’d gotten too caught up in all the kissing. I certainly didn’t mind it, but it was something we did need to talk about. It could wait until after the sunset, though. It didn’t feel right to interrupt the moment.

So I focused back on the beautiful sights ahead of us. The sun illuminated the campus in the most gorgeous ways. The Second Grandest Library, normally a brilliant white, was lit up in splendid golden hues. The same happened to countless other buildings, including our main school building. I couldn’t really make out our dormitory from here, though.

A few minutes later, once the sun had finally set, I sat up and Felix let me go. There was a content, happy, relaxed smile on his snout I hadn’t seen before. It made me feel warm inside that I, at least partly, had made him feel that way.

I stepped off him, and he rolled to his stomach. Pushing aside my shirt, I sat down on the ground in front of him. “So…” I said, really drawing out ‘o’, “are we dating now?”

He blinked, as if not entirely expecting the question. “I’d certainly like to,” he said. “Do you?”

“All the making out and mushy talk didn’t make that obvious?” I asked. “Of course I do, you big stupid lizard. I’ve never liked someone as much as I like you. You make me feel happy and wanted. And you make me feel like my problems actually matter. So, yeah, I really want to date you.”

As I talked, the dopey smile on Felix’s face only grew and grew. “I like it when you’re so confident,” he said. “You make me want to be confident, too.”

I scooched forward and pressed a kiss to his snout. “I think you’re plenty confident. You’re the one who said you liked me first, weren’t you? I wanted to but chickened out.”

He chuckled. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for a few weeks now, but between you being unsure about your sexuality, my own anxiety, and not knowing whether you wanted to date Viggi—”

“Wait,” I said, interrupting him. “You know about that? How?”

“Viggi told me.”

I blinked. “Right. I feel dumb now. I totally forgot that Viggi could talk about it with other people, too.”

For a moment I started worrying about who else now knew. Who else did Viggi tell? Then I let the thoughts and worries fade. I trusted Viggi. He wouldn’t talk about it with random strangers or people who didn’t already know I was gay. At most, I figured he’d talk about it with a friend or his father, and I couldn’t blame him for wanting to. I’d done the same after all.

Felix chuckled. “Who did you say the big stupid lizard was again?” he said.

I nudged his shoulder. “You. You’re really more confident than you think. And I’m glad you waited. I’m not sure if I would’ve reacted well if you’d told me a week earlier. You wouldn’t believe how oblivious I was. You know that bookmark you gave me? I remember thinking that the way you made me feel when you told me I was special was the way I was supposed to feel when Viggi called me cute. I didn’t even think twice about why you were making me feel that way.”

He chuckled. “That’s adorable, Alex.”

I swung my tail into my hands and fidgeted with the tip. “I didn’t really work out until last weekend that I liked you.”

“I think I figured it out that first time we really cuddled. You got angry on my behalf and then fell asleep on my chest. I was just looking at you, thinking about how you made me feel and simply couldn’t deny it anymore.”

I blinked. “That feels like so long ago now, but it’s only really been a little over a month, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, just about, I think,” he said, then fell silent. Without a doubt, both of us were thinking about the past month and everything that happened. From our meeting during the tour on the first day and us becoming friends when he flew me to the administration building, to getting stuck down in the training grounds and him losing his wing, to coming out and those support group meetings. Meeting Viggi and him asking me out, and me telling him no. Finally figuring out how I felt about Felix. And so much more. It felt like a whole book could be written about just last month, with so much that had happened.

Eventually the fading light brought my focus back. We’d need to go back soon, before it got dark.

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“So, we’re dating now?” I asked.

Felix looked up, smiling. “Yeah. I guess we are,” he said. “I have a boyfriend now. That’s so weird. A month ago I wouldn’t have thought it was even possible.”

“Boyfriend…” I muttered. It was a word I never even dreamed of using to describe a partner. Mom and dad and all my friends only ever talked about girlfriends, and while I’d thought about having a boyfriend before—Viggi being an obvious example—saying it out loud, and hearing being said out loud felt completely different. I grinned at Felix. “Yeah, I guess we both have a boyfriend now.”

I liked it. I liked it a lot. Felix, my boyfriend. Not just my friend or my best friend, but my boyfriend. It felt weirdly freeing to call him that. Mom and dad’s expectations and wants could go screw themselves. I had a big dragon boyfriend now.

“So, what now?” I asked.

Felix shrugged with his wings. “I’m not sure. We’ll need to talk about our new relationship at some point. What it means to us and everything. Boundaries and stuff like that. Other than that, I don’t think much will change, honestly. We’ll probably cuddle and hug like before, except that there’s probably going to be kissing now, too. Maybe more, too. But we’ll talk about that when the time comes. Really, we were practically already behaving like a couple before today.”

I thought back on all the cuddling and hugging we’d done. “Yeah. In hindsight, we really cuddled way more than any two friends normally would, didn’t we?”

He chuckled. “Yep.”

“So, really all that would change is us kissing?”

He shrugged. “Pretty much. Kissing and more… physical intimacy. But we’ll talk about that later, when you’re ready. Though, I do have one question. You do want it, right? Sex, I mean. Sorry for the awkward question.”

Awkward? It didn’t really feel all that awkward, honestly. I looked at Felix for a moment. Weren’t we being all shy less than half an hour ago? When had that changed? Talking about all this was way easier than I’d imagined. Then again, it was something you probably got used to pretty quickly. Hopefully, the trend continued when we started talking about sex in more detail, too.

And to actually answer his question, did I want sex? There really was no need to think about it. Yes, of course, I did. Felix was really hot, and I couldn’t stop my fantasies even if I wanted to. It was just the issue of acting on them where issues began.

I nodded. “I do. You’re really—” I said, then realized I was about to call another man hot out loud. The thought made me a little giddy and some of my confidence drained away. But I pushed through, not wanting my feelings getting in the way of telling him what I thought of his body, “—hot.”

Felix raised an eyeridge. “You’re not so bad yourself, you know,” he said. “You make my imagination go wild. Really, I could make out with you all evening.”

I smirked. “Then why don’t you?” I asked. That much, I was comfortable with. Though oddly, my lack of a shirt didn’t bother me now that it was already off.

Felix grinned and leaned forward, this time pushing me on my back, pressing his snout to mine. I opened my mouth just enough for his tongue to slip inside as I reached out a hand to one of his horns. As we kissed, I wondered what else that tongue of his could do. Food for thought.

-------

I woke up the next morning feeling great, despite the alarm’s loud blaring. Yesterday felt a bit like a haze, a part of me not quite believing I’d actually made out with Felix. That his larger tongue hadn’t been in my mouth, wrestling with my own. I softly touched my snout and smiled. Unreal, and yet… it was.

I got up and sat on the edge of my bed. I looked up at Felix’s loft and listened to the rustling of blankets and pillows as he got up as well. When we got back yesterday, it had gotten a little awkward. But after some talking, we worked it out and decided that for now, we’d sleep separately. Not that we couldn’t share a bed—we definitely could, and would—but it wasn’t the default. That way, neither of us felt any pressure to do things we weren’t ready for.

It turned out Felix wasn’t entirely ready for more, either. I wasn’t sure why, though, as we hadn’t talked about it much. He just mentioned it as a reason, and that was that.

I yawned and put my clothes on. Then I remembered which day it was and grimaced. Monday. It was Monday. The day that came after Sunday. We’d be leaving for the excursion in just under an hour.

On the one hand, I was excited. It would be an opportunity to level up and work on my Skills. There was nothing that leveled a Skill better than using it for its intended purpose, which for a few of my Skills was fighting. They were [Blunt force resistance] and [Draconic lightning magic]. I would also be spending a bunch of time with my friends, which was always great.

But on the other hand, I would be fighting actual monsters. I enjoyed fighting, but there were several worlds of difference between a sapient, humanoid sparring partner, and some feral beast. It didn’t help that quite a few of the monsters down there were going to be some sort of lizard.

I sighed as I remembered the feeling of helplessness the last time I fought with monsters. The goblins had been fine, but that bear… that fucking bear. I knew the chance of encountering another monster like that was tiny, and that I was a lot stronger now, and my fighting skills were much better, but I was still dreading the excursion—at least a bit.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that Felix had killed the bear and had only gotten stronger and better at fighting since, and that he would be coming with me, watching over all my fights and stepping in when necessary. It was something we’d discussed before and I was glad we did, since it helped settle my nerves.

I also pulled up my System status, letting the numbers comfort me. Despite only being level seven, I had the Attributes of a level twenty-one lizardkin thanks to the potion Felix had given me. I still felt a bit of debt to him for that, but he’d mostly convinced me it was a fair trade. With a smile, I read the status over one last time.

[System Status Beginning]

Name: Alex Sandclaw

Species: Lizardkin

Species subtype: Red-eyed Crocodile Skink

Level: 7

Mana pool: 260/260 (full)

Attributes:

Physical: 29

Mental: 25

Spiritual: 26

Path one: Locked

Path two: Locked

Path three: Locked

General Skills:

[Temperature resistance]: 6

[Blunt force resistance]: 10

[Drawing]: 15

[Mana manipulation]: 13

[Draconic lightning magic]: 5

[Empty]

[System Status End]

With those kinds of Attributes, something needed to really go wrong on this excursion for me to be in danger. I closed the window, feeling better about the excursion already.

Above me, I heard Felix climbing down. Then he stopped, and I looked up just as he jumped off the wall and slowly lowered himself to the ground with his wings, buffeting me with wind.

He looked as great as ever. His shiny sky-blue scales glittered in the rays of light peeking through the window. His scales weren’t a uniform color, though. The scales that covered his underside, from the tip of his tail up to the point of his snout, were of a lighter shade of blue than the rest of his body. It gave a nice contrast. I liked it.

In fact, I liked pretty much everything about him. The small horns on his head, the spikes that ran down his neck, but ended at the base, his vibrant green eyes, his intricate pattern of scales and the vibrant colors they had, his two wings, his four legs, and the genital slit between the hind pair. I even liked his size. He was slightly taller than me, sure, but because he was quadrupedal, he was quite a bit larger, too. He was about the size of a small horse and when he stood normally on all four legs, his head could just about rest on mine. It was like we were two puzzle pieces, fitting together perfectly.

“We’ll need to get a bookcase with doors if this is going to be a regular occurrence,” I told him as I picked a few pieces of loose paper off the ground.

He smiled sheepishly. “Oops. That would be a good idea, yeah,” he said. “Good morning, by the way. Are you excited?”

I put the paper away and hesitated for a moment. Did I give him a hug? A good morning kiss? I wanted to, but would Felix want me to? Yesterday I only knew because I’d asked. Wait, what was stopping me from just asking now?

“Good morning,” I said. “Would you mind if I gave you a hug?”

Felix tilted his head, looking at me strangely. “Did I mind you giving me hugs yesterday? It’s fine, Alex. I get that you’re a little more worried now that we’re dating—which still feels a little surreal to me, by the way—but just act as you normally would. I’ll tell you if I mind, okay?”

I scratched the scales behind my ears. “Sorry. It’s just all new to me and I’m not sure what to do.”

He chuckled. “I definitely get that. It’s all new to me, too. It’ll take some time getting used to. And you don’t have to apologize for it. I much prefer that you ask me if you’re unsure than hold back.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks. The same goes for you, you know. Talk to me if there’s something bothering you.”

He nodded. “I will,” he said. “Actually, there is one thing.”

“Oh? What is it?” I asked, wondering if I did something wrong.

“I haven’t received that hug yet.”

Relief swept through me as I chuckled and stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. He rested his snout on the top of my head, gently rubbing my back with one of his talons.

“Better?” I asked.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Much.”

Sadly, the hug didn’t last long. We still needed to pack Felix’s saddle with everything we had to take with us. It took us most of our remaining time to do exactly that, and by the end Felix looked more like a pack mule than a dragon. The pouch he always wore around his chest was filled to the brim, and so were the four saddle bags. We’d even wrapped gear to his back since the bags had run out of space. It still felt a little ridiculous to take so much with us for a simple camping trip, but we could easily carry it with us, so why not take it?

I fastened the last strap keeping our stuff in place. Felix’s back only reached to about my chest, so I could easily reach it. “Ready to go?” I asked.

Felix nodded, so we stepped outside and started walking to the field where everyone was gathering.