Chapter 23: A convincing argument
Alex Sandclaw’s POV:
I woke up before the alarm rang. I rubbed my eyes and tried to sit up, but something was in the way. Looking down, I saw that Felix still had his arms wrapped around me. I frowned. Felix? Why was he—oh, we must have fallen asleep together yesterday. I looked up at his snout. He was still sleeping; his eyes were closed shut, and he breathed deep rhythmic breaths.
I’d never seen him asleep before. He always either woke up before me, or was still up on his loft. It was strange, but I liked watching him sleep. He looked so… peaceful. All the tension and worry that otherwise seemed to be a constant part of his life was gone; melted into the ether of sleep.
I wondered if I could make him this relaxed while he was awake, too. All that constant tension and wariness had to be exhausting. Cuddling had certainly seemed to work to that goal. As the awkwardness had dissipated yesterday, so had the tension. But aside from being very relaxing, it had also been rather intimate. Well, not ‘had been’. It still was, with me still wrapped in his arms like this. I felt safe and secure in a way I hadn’t felt in a long while, protected from the world by his strong arms. I wanted to feel like this again in the future.
I had spent all yesterday evening building up the courage to ask. I didn’t know why, but after Felix mentioned cuddling, I just couldn’t get the idea out of my head, and I figured Felix was kind enough to just politely decline. At least then I could’ve put the idea out of my mind. But to my surprise, he had agreed.
I hadn’t thought cuddling was a thing friends did, but maybe I was wrong, because Felix certainly seemed to think it was. It hadn’t felt just friendly, though; it had been way too intimate for that. But then what? Best friends? I shook my head, deciding it didn’t matter. It was nice, and we both liked it, so what did it matter? Not everything had to fit into a category. I wasn’t going to ruin it by overthinking it.
I looked at the clock on the wall. There was still an hour until the alarm went off; maybe I could try to get a little more sleep? I looked towards my bed, then to Felix. The choice was easy. I doubted he’d mind, since if he had, he probably would’ve put me in my own bed yesterday. And with his magic, Felix was warmer than the bed, anyway.
I relaxed back into Felix’s arms and rested my head on his chest; his arms instinctively tightened around me and I savored their unexpectedly warm touch.
With my ear to his chest, I could hear and feel the slow, strong thumping of his heart. It was like nothing could stop it. Powerful and comforting. Listening to it thump, I let myself be lulled back into half-slumber. Not quite awake, and not quite asleep. Time passed by in a warm, comfy blur.
Felix woke up when the alarm went off. He raised a talon and shot a bolt of air at the thing, shutting it off. I sighed contently when he put his talon back on my back and gently rubbed it. The feeling of his talon sent a shiver down my tail, and I leaned into the touch.
The back of my mind whispered this wasn’t normal for friends, but I told it shut up. I could define what friendship meant for us myself.
“Good morning,” he mumbled, “You want to get up yet?”
I shook my head. As much as was possible with it pressed into his chest, anyway. “Not until we have to.”
He hummed his agreement, and a few comfortable, sleepy minutes passed before I spoke up. "Felix?" I asked.
"Hm?"
“You’re really comfortable,” I mumbled. “Thank you for humoring me; it was really nice.”
“I didn’t humor you, and I enjoyed it, too,“ he said, and while I couldn’t see it, I could hear the smile in his voice.
“That’s good.”
A few more minutes passed before one of us spoke again. “I think we should get up. I don’t want to be late,” Felix said.
I glanced at the clock. We still had at least forty before we had to be out of the door, and neither I nor Felix had to do much preparation before we could leave, so if we wanted to, we could have laid here for at least another half hour. I got the hint, though I felt disappointed. I wasn’t lying; he really was comfortable.
I rolled off him and got to my feet, stretching. I felt great; I hadn’t had such a good night of rest since I left home. I wouldn’t mind if we did this again sometime. But judging how Felix cut this time short, I wasn’t sure we were going to. I’d ask, anyway.
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Biology was interesting. We started our first class with the basic anatomy of the various sapient species, and they were all so similar! We all mostly had the same body plan and organs. Like the heart, and lungs. And the skeletons were very similar, too; a point the professor drove home with a very long explanation.
There were a few big differences, though, such as the elves having longer default lifespans than most other species. In fact, the professor pointed out lots of things the elves had different, and usually for the better. Other species were mostly left by the wayside, especially lizardkin, which made me disappointed. Maybe the professor had a thing for elves?
The only difference for lizardkin the professor pointed out was that no other sapient species had a tail. Not even the beastkin, who otherwise took many traits from the animal they represented. I frowned. I didn’t think that could be true: Felix had a tail, and he was sapient.
I raised my hand, and after a moment, was picked to ask a question. “What about dragons, sir?”
“An individual can’t be a species. You need at least two; to reproduce,” the professor answered, and my opinion of him went down; he didn’t have to be so rude about it. Dick.
I looked over to Felix, who sat on the other side of the classroom, filling in his test. Despite his focus, I could tell his mood had noticeably soured. His shoulder slumped slightly, and his tail twitched. There was also the frown on his snout. I felt stupid for asking, now.
The rest of the class went by uneventfully, thank the stars. The professor never detailed any specific species, but a lot of things he taught us were applicable to all species, so I still learned a lot. Even about my own body.
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I never knew it was so complicated. I knew the body was no simple thing, but even this first class’s basic overview explained things I’d never even considered before. Like why we breathed. It was just something you did since the moment you were born and I’d never stopped to wonder why. It made me wonder what other new things I’d learn later this week, during the next class.
All the talk and thoughts of anatomy got me wondering about Felix’s, since his was so different from ours. I’d seen the poster on the wall, but aside from recognizing a few organs, I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. I wanted to ask Felix to tell me about it, but he was busy with his test until the very last minute of the class. I decided to ask him later.
When the bell rang, some of the other people who were taking the test cursed, while others just shredded their tests, snapped their pencils, and in one case, set the papers on fire. Not much success then. At least Felix looked pleased with himself.
We met up again and spent the small break together. The break was an annoying length of time. Too short to go anywhere, and too long to just wait in the next classroom. We stopped somewhere in the hall, away from the other students.
“What did you think of the class?” he asked.
“Fun. I learned so many new things. Like, did you know Elves have cloacas? It’s weird. I mean, I know I got a slit, and it’s somewhat similar in that in both cases everything sits nicely on the inside, but still… everything coming out of one hole? It just doesn’t seem right.”
“I did, yeah. It’s just the way elves are,” he said with a shrug. Watching him shrug was funny; he shrugged with his wings—wing—as well. I didn’t think he realized. “Glad you enjoyed the class, though. Ready for history?”
I sighed. “No. I read a bit of the first chapter this morning, and I almost fell back asleep. I’m really jealous that you can just test out. You won’t have to sit through that slog for six months.”
“History books suck, yeah. But I think you’ll find that Albert—I mean professor Moon—is great. He often goes off on tangents, but he has a way of dragging you into his stories. The class will be over before you know it.”
I frowned. “Just how many professors do you know? You’ve had something to say about literally every single one we’ve had so far.”
He shrugged. “I grew up here. Well, I grew up at one at one of the branch locations, but dad often took me with him while he worked. I got bored one afternoon and hung out in the cafeteria. I talked to every single person who would humor me. It was mostly administrative staff, but the professors used the space too, and they loved talking about their subjects and students. I hung out there most afternoons after that, and I met quite a few of them that way. Others I met through dad’s parties, or because they visited our home.”
“I really do have friends in high places,” I mumbled.
One was a princess of a large empire, while the other was the Academy’s headmaster’s son, who knew most professors we had on a first name basis. What had I gotten myself into?
“What?” he asked.
“Oh, just something Viggi—that’s the lizardkin from yesterday—said when I told him you were my friend.”
“Hmm, I suppose it’s true. Does it bother you?”
Did it? Not really, no. He was just Felix. Though I wondered what mom would say if she knew I was friends with a princess and the Academy’s headmaster’s son…
“You okay?” Felix asked, and I realized I’d gotten lost in thought and hadn’t answered his question.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I was just thinking about my mother, is all. I think she would have squealed if she knew who I was hanging out with; she was a bit obsessed with status. I’m glad for that, though. Part of that obsession was teaching us to write, read, and do math. Without her, I probably wouldn’t be here,” I said with a smile, but then sighed. “Despite everything that happened, I miss her. I wonder if she’ll ever respond to my letter. Probably not.”
“I’m sorry, Alex. No one should have to go through what you went through.”
“Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I stayed. I never really gave them the time to react properly, you know; only their initial reaction. I left within an hour of them finding out, spent the night outside, and went with the caravan the next day,” I said and sighed. “Maybe I should’ve just stayed.”
He pulled me into a hug. “You did what you felt you had to do. No one can blame you for that. And who knows what would’ve happened if you stayed?”
"I know. Doesn’t make me stop wondering, though."
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History was about as boring as I expected. Felix was right, though. Professor Moon was great at telling stories. The problem was that I just didn't care for said stories. Like dad used to say, the past should be left in the past, and our eyes turned towards the future. I did my best to pay attention, but stars, was it difficult. I had to, though, if I wanted to pass. And I did.
I glanced at Felix. I hated it, but I felt jealous. He’d had the opportunity to learn so much, and so he had. I hadn’t had that opportunity. Not even close. Now he could just skip past these tests, while I had to sit through them for six months. I’d never blamed my parents for where I’d grown up, but it was hard to not feel a little sour about it now.
It wasn’t fair towards Felix, though. I couldn’t blame him either; I would’ve done the same had I been in his scales. And now I could. With all these classes and the free access to the library, I could learn as much as I wanted. I decided to visit the library again, soon.
I'd never felt happier when the bell finally rang, well almost never. After class, Felix stayed behind to talk to the professor, saying he would catch up in a few minutes. I was waiting outside in the hallway when I saw Tiki walking by in the distance. Not wanting the chance to go to waste, I ran after her.
"Tiki, wait!" I yelled.
She stopped and glanced at me, letting me catch up. She turned back to her friends. “Go on, I’ll catch up,” she said to them, then to me: “Hi, Alex, how are you holding up?”
“I’m doing fine. You?”
“Well enough. History was a snoozefest, though.”
“That’s good to hear, and it was, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. You need to apologize to Felix.”
She frowned. “Me? Apologize to him? He’s the one that broke his promise.”
“And you’re the one who broke his trust,” I snapped back, “Besides, he did nothing. Did you honestly think none of the other students would report them? If the professor was willing to do that to Felix of all people, what would stop him from doing the same to them. No, better they nip that particular problem in the tail.”
What I’d told Felix was also true, though I agreed that this was probably the most likely explanation.
“Sure,” she said, “and let me guess, you received a free level, too?”
I sighed and rubbed a hand over my snout. “Why do you care so much about that asshole, anyway? And if you don’t believe me, go ask around or something. You seem to be getting along well enough with everyone.”
She rubbed at her head. “He’s family. Don’t you care about your family?”
“Of course I do. But if it came down to it, I’d choose Felix over them. Especially over the ones I don’t like,” I said, realizing it was true as I did. Huh.
She frowned. “You’ve barely known him for more than a week.”
“You think I don’t know that?” I said, getting a little heated. “Believe me, I’m well aware. Maybe I’ve only known him for a week. So what? In that week he’s been kinder, more supportive, and more accepting of me than my family ever was. And I feel happier when he’s around. He's the best damn friend I’ve had. So, yeah, I’ll take him over my family, any day.”
She stayed silent, so I continued.
“I know you won’t feel the same way; our circumstances are just too different. But if it’s even the smallest amount true for you as well, you need to apologize. I know he doesn’t show it, but what you said really hurt him. Just imagine if someone took something from your past and used it against you like that.”
“I…” she said and shook her head. “No, you’re right. I’d hate anyone who did that to me. Sweet moons, I was awful back then. The past should be left in the past.” She sighed. “I’ll need some time to come up with an apology.”
“Don’t wait too long,” I said. “An imperfect apology is still better than one that comes too late. Now, if you don’t mind, I have lunch to get to.”