Chapter 110: Confrontation

Alex Sandclaw’s POV (continued):

Dad scowled at me some more. “Yes, we do,” he said tersely. “Why don’t you come in?”

I shook my head. “I’d rather stay out here if you don’t mind,” I said, though my tone made it clear that even if he did mind, I wasn’t going inside. No, were we doing this on my terms.

“Fine,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. “So, why are you here?”

I took a deep breath. “After talking to mom and Yizo, I’ve decided I still want a relationship with them. So—”

Dad interrupted me. “Ah, so you’ve finally come to your senses?” he asked, his expression lighting up.

“What?” I asked, thrown off by dad’s words.

“You still want a relationship with us, so I’m guessing that means your mother convinced you to go to that facility she and I talked about?”

I stared at him in confusion. What in the stars was he going on about?

He continued, rubbing his snout like a human rubbing their chin. “Your mother didn’t think it was a good idea, but I guess she changed her mind, too. Ah, who cares, all that ends well and all that. I’m glad she did, though. You’ll be much better when you return. No more of that ‘I am gay’ nonsense. They’ll fix you up just fine.”

I frowned at him as it finally settled in what he was talking about. “You want to send me somewhere to get ‘cured’ of my gayness?” I asked, incredulous. “Are you fucking insane? I’m happy the way I am.”

He looked confused. “But didn’t you say you wanted to stay in touch?”

I shook my head. “With you? Fuck no. I am going to stay in touch with mom and Yizo, who made an effort to accept me for me, not for some wild fantasy version of me you have running around in your brain.”

His confusion turned into anger. “Watch your tongue. You don’t get to talk to me that way,” he said.

Now it was my turn to get angry. “What, but you can talk that way to me?” I asked, taking a step towards him. “I remember exactly what you told me before I left. You lost the right to tell me to watch my language the moment you called me a ‘faggot’, a ‘disgusting disgrace’, a ‘degenerate fucking taillifter’ and worse things I don’t even want to repeat. You don’t deserve my respect.”

Felix pressed his snout into my hand until my hand rested on top of his head, letting me know he was here for me, even if he didn’t say anything. I tried to smile down at him, to reassure him I was alright. But I wasn’t. Still, him being here made everything better. I took a deep breath, taking a small step back, before my anger turned into violence and let my balled up fist relax while forcing my racing mana to settle down. Mom was right, they still had to live with him, so as much as I wanted to punch his snout, I wouldn’t.

Dad didn’t have such self-control, though, as his hands balled into fists, and he almost seemed to vibrate with anger, his tail lashing behind him in angry sweeps. He took a step closer and angrily pointed at me. “I only spoke the truth. I called you all that because that’s what you are. You are a disgrace and a degenerate fucking taillifter. I bet you’ve fucked that pet of yours, too, haven’t you? Did you fuck every monster you came across, you disgusting freak?”

Felix growled at dad. It was a low, deep rumble, unlike anything I’d ever heard before. I swore I could feel it vibrating my bones. I glanced down and saw Felix had dug his claws deep into the stone and his ears were bent back, his snout scrunched up into an angry snarl. I also noticed the subtle glow of lightning forming between his jaws. I gently scratched his head to calm him down as I turned back to dad.

“My boyfriend is not a monster,” I said. “The only one being monstrous here is you.”

Dad laughed. It was a manic laugh, a crazy laugh. “Boyfriend?” he asked, laughing even harder. “Fuck, I was right. You are a monster fucker. Oh wait, it’s the other way around, isn't it? Let me guess, that thing isn’t your pet, but you’re its?”

There was more growling and the crackle of lightning, and it took me a moment to realize it wasn’t just Felix. I was growling, too, and lightning sparked in my hands. I didn’t even know I could growl. Dad took a step back, and I took joy in that I’d made him scared, that I finally got to turn this around on him, even if just a little bit. With much effort, I forced the lightning to stop.

I took a deep breath. This conversation had gotten completely derailed.

“What I do with my own time and life doesn’t concern you,” I said. “And it’s not why I’m here.”

Dad snorted. “Of course it concerns me. I’m your father.”

I was about to retort that no, he wasn’t, when dad’s friend Robert interrupted us. “He’s right, you know,” he said to dad. “It doesn’t concern you. And your son was right, you’re the only one acting monstrous here. I don’t agree with your son’s… life choices, but he’s an adult. It’s not any of our stars-damned business.”

Dad turned to face his friend, incredulous. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You too?”

Robert shook his head. “I think you should leave, Bryce. I don’t want my house destroyed by an angry…” He gestured at Felix. “Whatever he is, and I don’t want you in it anymore, either. If you can treat your own son like that…” Robert sighed. “I’ll go pack your stuff, you can finish up this ‘conversation’ of yours.”

That was… unexpected, but welcome. Sort of, anyway. The defense wasn’t really in my favor, just against dad’s. I turned my attention back to him, and he was looking kind of shocked. I guess he wasn’t expecting his own friend to kick him out. But it was an excellent distraction. It was time to wrap this up.

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“Like I was saying, I didn’t come here for you to scream at me,” I told him. “I came to tell you I am going to continue to have a relationship with mom and Yizo and to warn you not to interfere.”

Dad turned back to face me. “Yeah, or what?”

“Or I’ll make sure neither of them will ever want to see you again,” I said. “Though, with how you’re acting, you might do that all on your own.”

Dad snorted. “Please, you may have fooled them today, but they’ll come to their senses again soon enough.”

I sighed. “Whatever you say dad,” I said. “I’ve warned you, so I’ll be going now. I won’t be seeing you again.”

I turned around to jump into Felix’s saddle. He was still growling at dad, but stopped once I was strapped in. Before he turned, though, he spoke as well.

“Oh, and if Alex’s warning isn’t enough,” he said, “know that my father is the Headmaster of the Academy, and I can and will make you regret your choices.”

Before dad could respond, he turned and walked us away and out of the village. At the edge, I looked back. I saw dad staring at us in the distance, but he didn’t come any closer. That was fine with me. I had said all that needed to be said, even if I didn’t get to say all the things I had wanted to say, like how terrible of a father he was, how I didn’t see him as one anymore, and how I’d stopped loving him. Some other time maybe, though if I never got the chance, that was also just fine. The less I saw him, the better I’d be off. As much as it had been satisfying to finally stand up to him, I couldn’t deny it also made me sad.

Felix asked me if I was okay and I told him I just needed some time to think, so with nothing else left to do here, we quickly swung by the water hole to fill up our supply, and then left. We took off and Felix flew us off in the direction I told him to go. It would take us a day or two, maybe three, of flight, but we’d get to the local branch of the Academy before long.

Usually, any big city had one, but the desert didn’t have many places that could support that many people. You either needed a lot of water, or a steady supply of enough high-leveled mages to conjure the water instead. So there were maybe a dozen big cities in this world at most, and the closest one was quite a bit of distance away.

As we flew, the rush of wind flowing through our scales, we were treated to the wonderful sight of the sun rising. It really was something different from up here. Now that there was light, I looked behind us. But we’d been flying for almost half an hour at this point, so we’d long since left Limescar village behind us. I turned back and sighed. I was going to miss mom and Yizo. I had to find a way to stay in touch with them. The letter I had sent seemingly still hadn’t arrived yet, so I’d have to ask Felix if he could ask his dad to speed the delivery up for me. I wanted to send letters without having to wait weeks for it to arrive.

Especially since I wanted to know if they were okay. A letter they would’ve sent me a month ago told me nothing about how they were today. A month was a long period, and anything could happen in that time. And if it did, I wouldn’t know until three months after it had happened. One month for their letter, another for my response, and another to realize I wouldn’t be getting a reply. It was unacceptable.

Though, this all depended on them actually getting my letters. I still wasn’t certain my letter hadn’t arrived yet. I thought it way more likely that dad had intercepted it and hidden it somewhere.

Thinking about dad brought my mind back to the ‘conversation’ we’d just had, something I had been avoiding since we left. I knew he’d hated me before I left, but before today I might have been able to say it had just been an in-the-moment reaction to me coming out. There was no disputing it now. He hated me.

I was sure that in his own twisted way, he claimed to love me and want what was best for me, but the truth was, the person he thought I was, wasn’t me. If he loved someone, it was the fantasy version of me that lived in his head. The ‘ideal’ son I’d never be. That was okay, though. It hurt that he couldn’t love me for me, but with the way he’d spoken to me and with the way he treated Felix, I didn’t want his love anyway.

Or so I told myself, at least. The reality was a lot messier. I knew that on some deep level, I’d probably want his acceptance for the rest of my life. I’d just need to learn to live with it, just like I had learned to live with it these past few months.

I glanced back one last time. At least I didn’t have to live in fear of his opinion anymore.

We soared through the sky for most of the morning, only stopping to drink something once. The deserts, which I had once thought were rather pretty, quickly became dull as we soared past them at astonishing speeds. Felix was really giving it his all, pushing us forwards as fast as he could. He would without a doubt be incredibly sore when we got back, but he was probably fine with that. Maybe I could give him a massage when we stopped to rest?

That got me thinking about another thing that dad had said. He’d suggested I’d had sex with Felix, or Felix with me. He’d been wrong, of course. The closest we’d gotten was rubbing our bits together that one evening. But it did get me thinking about why we’d only gotten so far. Part of it was getting used to it and taking it slow, sure, but a large part of it was fear, too. Fear of what other people would think if they found out, and what it would mean about me.

But really, what did it matter if people found out? Felix and I were hardly subtle with our affection, so anyone who saw us probably assumed we were in a relationship anyway, with all what that entailed. I supposed we could tone it down while we were in public, but I didn’t really want to anymore. I wanted to be able to give my boyfriend a kiss when I wanted to, everyone else’s opinion be damned.

And what would it mean about me that wasn’t already true? I was gay. Wanting to be with men in that way kind of came with the territory.

I still didn’t want to rush, and it would still probably take some time to get over my hangups, but I was determined to get to a place where my only limitations for sex were what I did and did not want to do. I didn’t want to be limited by what I dared to do, anymore.

And the first step was finally reading the fourth chapter of that damned book Scales in the night when we got back.

We flew throughout the day and only stopped two more times. Once during noon to eat, and once in the afternoon for Felix to drink. Both times we talked a little about how our stay in the village had gone while I did my best to give Felix a massage—I wasn’t super good at it, but I tried and he appreciated it. Felix told me he had enjoyed meeting my family and looked forward to getting to know them properly. He was shocked and then laughed when I told him how I’d accidentally corrected mom, and got angry again when we talked about dad. He also made it clear he appreciated how I stood up for him again and again yesterday, against both my mother, brother, and especially my father, when they called him a monster.

When we took off again, I was in a much greater mood.

We flew for a good part of the evening until I started falling asleep. We landed and slept for a few hours, and we cuddled up together so I could share his body heat. Partway through the night, though, he woke me up and told me to strap in well and try to get a few more hours of sleep in while he flew.

“I was too nervous to really get any sleep,” he had told me.

I didn’t think I could sleep on dragonback, but I was proven wrong. When I woke up a few hours later, I felt well rested. It was strange, actually, how well I had slept despite the uncomfortable position. It was fine for sitting, but awful for sleep. I then realized it must have been my new [Dragon riding] Skill at work. And that made me realize I hadn’t actually looked at my System status since we’d escaped from underground, despite there being something I really, really should have checked out sooner.

It was time to finally check out the new Title system the global System message had spoken about.