Chapter 62: New growth
Felix Sythias’ POV (continued):
With gentle effort, I concentrated and looked inwards like I’d done so many times before. With small pulses of pure mana, I saturated my mana-system, allowing me to feel the shapes of everything in my body. I felt the structure of my skeleton, the way my digestive tract was put together, the maze that was my circulatory system. It was all vague detail, the image of shapes created by nothing more than where the mana hit something of higher or lower density. It had taken years to learn to identify the things inside me, and even now I still didn’t know everything.
My limited knowledge was enough to figure out that the new growth on the side of my mana pool organ wasn’t supposed to be there, though.
The mana pool organ was a pale-ish blue organ that, in my case, sat below where my pelvis and spine met. At least, I assumed it was blue. It was with other species—even monsters—but I was an exception to other rules, too. For example, for all other species and monsters, the organ was about the size of a large marble. Maybe two centimeters in diameter. Even for the largest monsters, it was not bigger than that. While mine was about the size of a human fist. And despite that, it held no more mana than a level one human’s did, which I thought was unfair.
Or it used to, anyway. Now it was closer to a level three human in terms of content.
The organ was a remarkable thing. It didn’t just hold a person’s or monster’s mana; it controlled it. If it was injured or crippled, it would make both impossible. It was a core reason why so many armor sets had extra protection for the stomach area. Not that it was overly fragile. Due to the sheer mana density inside the organ, it was one of the toughest bits of any body.
Another unique property of it was that it was always the same. Whether it was the mana pool of an elf, of a human, of a monster, or even of a dragon, it was always the same shape and the same structure—if not always the same size, apparently. It made it great for alchemy and other types of crafting. There was no need to adjust recipes or processes because one monster organ was different from another monster organ.
In short, the organ was a critical and unchanging part of any body—and now there was a growth on mine. It wasn’t big, maybe the size of a thumb at most. But it was there when it really should not be there. I shivered at the implications this might have. Theorizing was pointless, though, when I could try to prove them instead.
Grabbing the lightning cube, I quickly reabsorbed some lightning mana and watched it go straight in the direction of the new growth. I still couldn’t see what was happening, but it was clear the new growth had something to do with it.
And that was the extent of things I was able to figure out. My tail lashed behind me as I tried channeling mana through it—both ways—again and again, only for nothing to happen. I was pretty sure the growth was what transformed the lightning mana to pure mana, and with some luck, it would do it the other way around too. But I didn’t know why it wasn’t doing that. Maybe there was a trick to it I had to figure out? But even after trying dozens upon dozens of different things and draining my mana pool completely dry, I had gotten nowhere.
My best guess for why it didn’t work was that the growth was still underdeveloped somehow. That it would ‘unlock’ the potential at some point. At least, I hoped it was that, and that it wasn’t just cancer.
Stars, I really hoped it wasn’t cancer. Even Elena wouldn’t be able to affect my mana pool organ. She already has trouble healing me normally, nevermind healing the one thing that’s causing all the interference—the source of my mana.
Unsatisfied, but with nothing else to try, I stood up and looked around. The clock told me almost an hour had passed since I’d sat down, meaning Alex’s class was just about over right now. It was Friday, though, so I wasn’t sure if he would come straight home or if he would go to Viggi’s place again. He hadn’t told me.
As I thought of Alex spending time with Viggi, them making food together, laughing together, walking home together, the expected jealousy didn’t come. That was nice. I didn’t like feeling jealous. It was an unpleasant emotion. Especially if it was jealousy aimed at a friend. Part of it was that I knew that Alex didn’t like Viggi the same way Viggi liked him, but it was also the knowledge that Viggi was his friend and made him happier. And how could I be upset at something that made Alex happy?
Next time, I was going to be asking, though. At least then I’d know for how many I’d need to cook.
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Alex Sandclaw’s POV:
“You’re improving remarkably fast with your shaping, Alex,” professor Sesharan, my Magic 101 teacher, said. “Are you sure you don’t want any help? I’m sure I could help you improve even faster.”
It was the third time this class she’d asked me. I understood why, though. I was here to learn, after all, and I was denying being taught. It was weird, and I could see why she was confused. It didn’t help that I probably could improve faster with her assistance. But I’d forfeit any chances at the prefix if I did that, so it wasn’t an option.
Another thing I considered for why she was so ‘insistent’ was her pride, but I’d quickly discounted the option. There wasn’t a hint of selfishness in her voice. She really just wanted me to thrive. My conclusion was only further confirmed by her offering of giving me private lessons.
I smiled at her and shook my head. “Thank you—I mean it—but I’m trying to see how far I can get by myself,” I said for the third time. I felt a little guilty for lying again, though. And with her kindness, she deserved at least a little truth. “Actually, if I’m being honest, there’s a prefix I know I can get, but I need to work without assistance to get it. And no, I can’t tell you about it. It’s not my place to do so. Sorry.”
She sighed but nodded. “Alright. I will stop asking then. And you don’t have to apologize, I understand,” she said. “I will still be here when you need or want my help, though.”
“Thank you,” I said, bowing my head at her slightly.
We didn’t get the chance to talk again that class, as not even ten minutes later, the bell rang and I knew Viggi would be waiting for me. His class let out a little earlier than mine. Such was the benefit of a class for which you needed to change clothes at the end. Other species, like elves and humans, needed to shower and change because of their sweat. But us lizardkin didn’t sweat, so we could just leave early. The only exception was classes like my combat class, where we needed to wear a special suit.
As expected, Viggi was already waiting outside for me. He looked up from the sword he was sharpening and put it away. He walked over and held out his fist to bump, grinning all the while. “Ah, there you are. Good to see you. Come on, let’s go. We have a board game to finish, remember? And I assume you’ll want to cook again for the meeting?”
I bumped his first, feeling a little awkward about it. The last time I’d seen him, I’d rejected him. And here he was, being all super friendly. I didn’t mind, of course, but it did make things a little awkward.
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We started walking, and I nodded at him. “I remember, and I do want to cook, if it isn’t too much trouble.”
He shook his head. “It isn’t, though next time we’ll go to your place. Dad complained about me raiding the pantry for supplies.”
“That’s fine. I doubt Felix will mind. Though, he’ll probably want to help cooking.”
Viggi chuckled. “I don’t see how extra hands—or, well, talons—will be a problem.”
We continued walking while we chatted about the board game and what food we were going to make. But while we did so, my mind kept wandering back to Felix. It felt like there was something I had forgotten to do, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. Then, about halfway to Viggi’s dorm room, it hit me. I’d completely forgotten to tell Felix I would be going straight to Viggi’s place again.
It wasn’t the biggest problem. Felix could handle himself alone for one evening. But the longer we walked, the more the guilt ate at me. He’d be worried. I wasn’t sure if he would figure out where I went. And if he didn’t, would he think something happened to me? Would he come looking for me?
Viggi nudged my shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong? You’ve gone all silent.”
I blinked. “Huh? Oh. I just realized I forgot to tell Felix where I’m going and now I’m worried that he’s all worried and I don’t want him to be worried, which is making me more worried.”
“You’re worried. Got it.”
“I know he’ll probably just figure out where I am, and where I’ll be going, but there’s this nagging voice that he won’t. I want him to know I’m safe.”
Viggi rolled his eyes, but not in a malicious way. “You know where my room is, right? And how to get there?” I nodded. “Alright. I’ll meet you there, then. See you in a bit!”
With a jump and whoosh, Viggi shot off back to where we came from. I smiled.
“Thank you!” I yelled after him, though I doubted he heard me.
I continued walking and soon reached Viggi’s room. I only had to wait a minute before he arrived too.
“He knows now. He also wanted me to tell you to have fun.”
“Thanks, Viggi. Now, then, didn’t we have a board game to finish?”
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In the end, Viggi won the game, though it was a close call. One more turn and I would’ve won instead. Next time I would win, for sure. We finished the board game earlier than expected, so we had plenty of time to cook.
Since we had time, this time we wanted to make something for dessert. After some discussion, we settled on cupcakes. Pretty much everyone liked them and they weren’t difficult to make. While we mixed and baked, Viggi asked me about what I was planning for my picnic.
“I’m not so sure, honestly. And the more I think about it, the less sure I become. I want it to be the best I can make it.”
Viggi poured some batter into a cupcake form. “What is his favorite food?” he asked.
“Roasted molten canyon pig,” I said instantly. Felix had told me all about the spiciness, texture, and taste. “I can’t make that, though. It’s like a level 350 monster, if I remember correctly.”
Viggi rolled his eyes. “Something you can actually make, obviously.”
“Any meat if made well, honestly,” I said, shrugging. Felix wasn’t the pickiest eater. “Though he prefers monster meat. We might have some in our fridge, actually, now that I think of it. I’ll have to ask him if he’s fine with me taking some.”
Viggi pointed his spoon at me. “Ask if you can make it together. From what I’ve heard, he enjoys cooking, right? It’ll be more fun—and more romantic—if you do it together.”
I nodded. “I’ll do that.”
We continued filling the cupcake forms while Viggi hummed a tune. When we finally put them in the oven, I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Hey Viggi, why are you in such a good mood? Not that I mind—in fact, it’s great that you’re feeling so great—but after last Wednesday, I kind of expected… I don’t know, something else.”
He sighed, taking a small moment to think. “I won’t lie to you. I did feel a bit down after you said no, but like I said then, I already knew you weren’t going to say yes so I had time to prepare myself for it. Aside from that, I hooked up with a classmate. He made me think and realize that while I might not have you as a boyfriend, I still have you as a normal friend. And Felix, Sekara, Zhalia, and possibly Tiki, too. All in all, my life is pretty good right now, so why shouldn’t I be happy?”
Unsure of what to say, I did the next best thing and gave him a hug. He patted my back, but gently pushed me away after a few seconds. He had a sad smile on his face. “Let’s give it some more time before we start hugging, okay?” he said.
I nodded. “Alright.”
After that, we cleaned up the kitchen, wiping up any spilled batter and flour, then cleaned up the board game we had left on the table. Twenty minutes later, the cupcakes were done. We let them cool down for a while, then bagged them up since we needed to leave. They could cool while we walked.
This time we were not the last to arrive at the support group meeting. We did cut it close, however. But no, this time it was Zhalia and Sekara who were last. The way they walked into the room, kind of frowning, not talking, and at a distance from each other, told me they hadn’t talked their issues out and had probably even argued on the way here.
Sekara sat next to Viggi and me, while Zhalia sat next to some other woman a small distance away. I recognized the woman as the one she’d talked to before. I had an inkling of what was going on, but didn’t want to draw conclusions.
The meeting went well, though I didn’t have any specific questions this time. Between these meetings, talking to people, figuring out my feelings for Felix, and reading Scales in the Night, I was solving most of the problems I had.
The only thing I hadn’t yet been able to do was build up the courage to continue reading the fourth chapter of Scales. The first two chapters had been very tame, and explored topics such as sexuality, love, and rejection. The third one was where it turned… erotic. The short story had been sweet, but several times throughout, the couple in it explored each other's bodies, going as far as pleasuring each other with their hands and mouths—things I had guessed as possibilities already.
The fourth chapter went further than that, though. I had read the note the author left at the beginning of the chapter, but I wasn’t sure what it talked about. But when I continued reading, it became clear. The character had started putting fingers up his ass while masturbating, wishing it was his partner’s dick instead. I’d closed the book at that point, not wanting to read any further.
I had thought it was because of disgust. That hole was meant for things coming out and definitely not for putting things in. But the more I had thought about it these last few days, the more I realized that wasn’t it. Not entirely, anyway. I had since reread that part, and it was clear the other reason I’d stopped reading was because the idea had turned me on.
It wasn’t something I felt I could talk about with the group, though, so they couldn’t help me. Neither could I ask Viggi. We’d never talked about such topics before and besides, it would be weird and unfair of me to talk to him about it while I knew he still had a bit of a crush on me.
I knew I would continue reading soon, though. It was inevitable. The idea of Felix and I being so close, being so intimate that I literally had a part of him inside me, or a part of me inside him… As much as it all weirded and grossed me out, it was too interesting to not continue reading.
Sekara nudged me, shaking me out of my thoughts. Not wanting to think about such things while talking to her, I pushed the thoughts away, then turned to her.
“Hi, how’s your week been?” I asked.
She glanced at Zhalia. “Not the best, honestly. I don’t want to talk about that, though. I was wondering if you’d be up for going climbing together again? I need a distraction and a reason to be away tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
As much as it pained me, I could always ask Felix to go on the picnic on Sunday, too. It was probably better, anyway. I could use the extra time to plan things out just a little better. And we could visit the library, too. I needed to ask him on Sunday, though. I didn’t think I could ask during the excursion. I couldn’t think of a more unromantic place.