Stone fragments fell from the statues, a rock slide filled with lava, revealing tough hide and navy scales. Red text and gold-outlined health bars appeared above the three statues. They were Levels 17, 18, and 19, Drogon, Puff, and Tinky-Winky. The Puff-statue shook off its remaining stone, a deadly reptilian wet dog. Its undersized bat wings twitched, testing their freedom. Then the creature jumped down and spun, a huge sword and shield raised in t-rex arms.

Fire ripped through the air. Matt met it with his shield. Waves of hot distortion flowed around it. He was in a sauna too long and he had to get out.

Matt Taunted, “That’s right, attack me you sorry excuse for a flame thrower!”

The fire let up as the two other dragons leaped from their pedestals.

“Hey, not-magic dragon!” Matt yelled left. “Attack me Teletubby reject!” he yelled right. “I don’t know why you’re a dragon…”

The room shook as all three of the massive beasts pounded towards him. Clawed feet crunched statue shards, grinding them into the floor.

The others had moved to the side, leaving Matt to tank at the blocked exit. He bent his knees, settling into his stance. Time seemed to slow. The massive creatures raised their shields and swords. Matt cast Rapid Regeneration, blue beads of light etching across his skin.

The dragons slammed him into the bars, leading with shields and snarls. The world went red.

Pain flooded Matt’s senses; his health was under 25%. He tasted copper. He couldn’t think. Slot machine dings sounded. Matt used a Health Potion.

Then the shield hand in front of him flared. Normal colors returned. Kurtis was healing him.

Thank fuck he’s in my group.

Fire was everywhere. Matt’s health spiked and fell like audio levels to the sound of slot machine dings meshed with clangs of steel.

“I can’t keep this up!” Kurtis yelled.

Matt needed a plan. He was pinned against the exit. Shit, shit, shit.

Matt shoved Drogon and jumped straight up. He Conked then darted to the open.

Now what?

The three dragons thundered towards him, light and arrows streaming into their sides. Wiggles chased them, furiously scratching. Matt backed up; his back trashcan lid clanked against the middle platform. Crystal spikes erupted then fuzzed out.

Fire blasted from all three maws and Matt ducked between two platforms, blocking the flames with his shield. He renewed Rapid Regeneration as heat poured over, distorting the air. Then the dragons closed in.

Puff’s shield and tough scales pressed Matt farther between the platforms. Barrel chest and weapons filled the narrow space. Matt Shield Slammed, grunting.

Drogon and Tinky-Winky roared, swords flashing at Puff’s sides. They couldn’t reach. Matt bent his knees and rammed the point of his shield into the enemy.

“Attack me you big dumb brute,” Matt renewed his Taunt. “Everyone knows what wingspan correlates with! And you, you’re, you’re…”

Tinky-Winky fell to the ground, stone shards skittering.

“Dead,” Matt breathed.

He sunk into a rhythm: Shield Slam, Blood Slash, Shield Slam. He kept up his Rapid Regeneration, glowing blue. Lights and sounds melded together, a lava lamp cacophony. Minutes went by—they could have been hours. With Kurtis’s help, Matt’s health stabilized around 70%. Light poured into the enemies; their health went down too. Shield Slam, Blood Slash. Matt gritted his teeth against the heat and pain. Shield Slam, Blood Slash. He couldn’t see anything except the huge dragons blocking him. And then the ground shook—once, twice—Puff and Drogon fell.

Dings rang out as Matt’s heads-up display dropped. ‘183,000 XP’ and ‘Challenge 1: complete’ floated up. Matt let out a controlled breath. His score was ‘784.’ He hoped that was good.

He hurried to loot the dragons, ignoring most of it, but a Belt caught his eye. He didn’t have one of those. He found it in his inventory: ‘Belt of the Scaled Warrior (Level 17), Medium Armor, +49 Physical Resist, +75 Stamina, Enables holstering weapons.’

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

Matt pulled the belt to his waist, navy and scaled, like the dragons’ skin. Holster, he thought. Nothing happened. Holster weapons? Still nothing.

“Anyone else get a belt?” he asked.

“What’s up?” said Kurtis.

“It says I can holster weapons. Trying to make it work. Like…” Matt held his sword to his hip. He felt a tug. Then black leather straps sprung out around it.

“Like that?” said Kurtis.

“Guess so.” Matt held out his shield, considering.

“Try your back,” Kurtis said. “We should keep going. The timer.”

Matt nodded then craned his neck and fed his shield awkwardly over his shoulder.

Fallyn called out, “Warning.”

Matt flinched, stumbling off-balance. Something grabbed the shield when he dropped it, like magnets, pulling it to his back.

Val gave him two thumbs up. Wiggles held up a fist.

“When are you going to be done with those?” Matt asked.

“I think I just finished,” Fallyn said. Then she turned and obliterated a ten-foot section of wall with a hail of purple comets.

“That would’ve been handy a minute ago,” Matt said. “Let’s call Septimus.”

Val already had out her rainbow stone. She held it up and it started to glow, colors swirling. And then Septimus Flower was suddenly before them.

“Good job, travelers! I see you have completed the first challenge. Bravo!”

Val tentatively poked at the man’s rainbow sleeve while he spoke. The image rippled.

“Well, here you go!” Septimus raised both arms and ‘5,000,000 XP’ appeared in transparent white letters.

Matt’s XP bar shot up to 48%. Holy crap.

“Thanks, Septimus!” Val said.

“Yeah,” said Matt.

“You betcha! Now, travelers, you must be off for the second challenge. There’s no turning back now.” He winked. “Good thing it’s simple enough. All you have to do is reach the entrance to the third challenge. Call me when you’re at the door.”

The image faded. The rainbow stone went dark. A click-click-click sounded as black spikes retracted from the exit.

The next room was small. Just large enough for their group and two doors that looked oddly out of place. They were plain white, with silver knobs, like the doors in someone’s house. A single sheet of 8-1/2 x 11 printer paper was taped onto each one. In large-sized Comic Sans, the left page read ‘Safe,’ and the right read ‘Danger: Shortcut.’

“Well, at least we know they’re serious,” Matt said.

Fallyn raised an eyebrow.

“We’re going right, aren’t we.” Matt grimaced.

“We didn’t get points outside, so we need to win with time,” Fallyn said.

Val gave a determined nod.

Matt grabbed the silver doorknob and turned. On the other side was a double-width stone hallway, warmly lit by a channel of glowing amber at the ceiling’s edge. Matt grabbed a stick from his inventory and began tapping his way through. He figured it stretched back a few hundred feet. It felt like it went on forever. Some shortcut.

Then the floor dropped out in front of him. Matt’s heart leaped to his throat. The pit was identical to the ones before the dragons, with three massive spikes jutting up from the center. Matt puffed out his cheeks and blew. No one fell in. They had to keep moving. The timer was ticking.

Six more pits opened up in a seemingly random configuration and then came the darts. They thwacked from openings in the stone on the right that weren’t there a moment before. The projectiles bit deep into Matt’s side. He groaned ripping them out. Sticky green mixed with red blood on the tips.

His head swam. He staggered to the wall. Several dings sounded.

Matt cast Rapid Regeneration. His sight was blurred. He triple-snapped for Basic Heal. The wounds stung even after they closed.

“I’ve got you,” Kurtis said.

His vision cleared. Matt reached over his left shoulder for his shield. As if drawn by a magnet, it leaped to his hand. He faced it to the hole the darts had come from and kept walking.

Less than a minute later, darts clacked against his shield. Then another set bounced off. He picked up speed.

“Agh.” Matt gasped.

Darts burned into his exposed side. He ripped them out, eyes watering. Then his vision blurred.

“On it,” Kurtis said. “Good now?”

Matt blinked rapidly. “Thanks. I think we need a different plan.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to try and run to the end. I need you guys to stay back. Kurtis, I’m going to need you.”

The cat-man nodded.

Matt cast Rapid Regeneration. “Let’s go.”

Darts clacked on shield and stone. Score dings sounded. Matt focused on the end of the hallway. The world fell away. It was just him and the gray tunnel, warmly lit from above. His footfalls melded with the clatter of the darts. His vision fuzzed then was clear. The end was getting closer. It blurred then Kurtis cleared it. He was almost—

“Matt run!” Fallyn yelled. There was panic in her voice.

Matt didn’t dare look behind him. There was only the passage ahead. He was speeding up, going faster than he’d ever—no, the end of the hallway was moving towards him.

“Matt run!”

His vision cleared. A round dark boulder, the size of the hall was rolling straight for him.

Matt skidded into a turn. He ran back towards the entrance. The boulder was close behind. Fallyn paused before the first of six pits and unleashed her lightning column. The rock was unaffected. She Blinked back to the next and disappeared her staff.

Val, Kurtis, and Wiggles were almost at the door. Matt and the boulder were almost at Fallyn. She lunged forward and Slapchopped. No effect. Val’s eyes went wide and Wiggles hid behind her legs. Kurtis tugged on the door. It rattled.

“Running out of room!” Matt yelled, running by the fourth pit.

“Into the garbage shoot!” yelled Kurtis. The cat-man sat on the ledge of the last pit and slid in.

Val handed down Wiggles. She slid down too.

Fallyn was seconds in front of him.

There wasn’t time for a graceful landing. He passed the third pit, the second. The spikes would be to his right. Matt held his shield low and cast Rapid Regeneration. He counted footfalls, one, two—Matt plunged into the hole.

It was dark. There was a loud crack, drowned out by the rumble of rock above him. He glowed faintly blue. Pain radiated from his shin and a sickening panic twisted in his core. Matt triple-snapped and flared brighter.

Then the light returned. The boulder was gone. And so was Kurtis.