Matt slammed into the wall, gulping down water and coughing as the fucking penny whistle solo drilled into his skull. His back radiated hot pain while the icy wet sloshed around him. He forced his eyes open to check his party interface. He slammed into the wall again and activated a health potion.

Fuck, Matt thought, hacking up more water. His airway crackled when he breathed. Panic rose in his core, a primal instinct screaming that he needed more oxygen. The timer passed seven minutes. Their health bars were all above half full, but their size was rapidly shrinking. All the freaking gator had to do was wait them out. He'd be out of Mana soon.

Matt cast Rapid Regeneration while he still could, coughing and trying to stand. Soaked fabric stuck to his body and sparks trailed along his skin. He brushed wet hair away from his face.

Val and Fallyn log-rolled on the floor, hair and clothing clinging. Bare tables knocked against each other and the wall. Kurtis was sprawled to Matt’s left, twisted in table linens and skewered by forks, the picture of a wet TikTok cat with many regrets. The water was receding to the walls.

Kurtis yanked tines from his thigh, orange fur plastered to his head and back. "Rrrah!" he practically roared.

Sobek spun in a tap dance move, holding up both white-gloved hands and his microphone. The disco ball had lowered several feet, casting squares of light on the enemy, aloof in his private dance party.

Stop fucking wasting our time! What sick FRC person had designed this hell? They weren’t even people; only monsters could come up with this shit. Shut up fucking recorder music. Matt’s head pounded. Breathing was difficult. His wet clothes hung heavy.

"Micky Mouse wants his gloves back!" Matt Taunted.

The enemy snapped to attention. “Mouse?” he hissed into the microphone. Then he clapped those gloves and gold plastic confetti spewed.

Matt gritted his teeth and ran into the spray, blocking what he could with his shield. The panic and pressure warred in his insides. The gold particles wormed deep into his flesh as they burned. Matt screamed and angled his shield upward, hefting with the extra force of momentum, channeling his pain and sheer frustration into the hit.

A conduit of fire and lightning streamed over Matt's shoulder and he slammed into the enemy. Sobek’s health dropped past 40%. Arrows pelted the gator-man, and Wiggles leaped into a body slam.

Matt gasped, feeling the weight of his lungs. Every molecule of his being screamed at him to run, to escape to easy breathing. He couldn’t imagine how the others were feeling. One attempt. ‘Debuff may only be removed by challenge completion or death.’ The timer passed the five-minute mark.

Then the alligator-man grinned wide, opening his massive jaws and displaying deadly teeth. He brought the microphone close and fixed Matt with a stare. "Are you ready to rumble?!"

"Turn him!" Kurtis yelled.

Shit. "Sorry! Um… Shut that ugly trap and come attack me?” He was drawing a blank. “Um, your hat belongs at a farmer’s market and wouldn’t sell for 50 cents!"

Matt side-stepped and prayed that worked, putting the stage at his back where fog was still pumping out. The gator-man made jazz hands and followed.

Then the disco ball lowered another foot and started spinning. It spun faster and faster and then streamed a solid beam of light into Sobek. Matt had seen other balls that size generate similar columns of light—two of them.

Three alligators, like the ones from the marsh, rose up from Sobek’s feet with a splash. They started crawling towards the rest of Matt’s group.

"Come back here you ugly cowboy boots," Matt yelled at the alligators but it didn't work.

"Your moma was a hippo?" he tried again.

"Hey, I like hippos!" Val called.

"It's not working!" Matt yelled.

He Shield Slammed Sobek. The timer passed four minutes.

"Wiggles?" Val said. "Wiggles?" There was panic in her voice.

"Matt, I think we have bigger problems," Fallyn warned.

Wiggles, the beaver, followed the alligators, slowly toddling on his hind legs as if in a trance.

"Kurtis you're up!" Fallyn yelled. "Go for the orb!"

Kurtis stood still, eying the water starting to flow in from the walls. The cat-man balled his fists in his soaking wet oven mitts and then bounded towards Sobek.

"Wiggles no!" Val called. "Somebody do something! Wiggles, no! Bad beaver!"

Kurtis leaped, with a flash of ex-caliper, and snatched the orb from the air. He tumbled to the side, light streaming from his mitts and intensifying. The alligators and Wiggles froze in front of Fallyn and Val. Water sloshed at Matt's feet. The floor began to tilt.

‘2.4’ minutes.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

The disco ball’s light continued to get brighter, connecting to Sobek with a narrowing beam. Then it was gone, cut off in an instant when the orb reached Kurtis’ inventory. Sobek gasped as he and his corn hat liquefied, collapsing into the water at their feet. His green robe and white gloves floated on the surface.

Matt looted the waterlogged clothing—bending to do so almost instinctive at this point. White XP text floated from the edge of his vision. Matt stared at the black loot window in disbelief: 20 CCs, 1 ‘Wedding Favor,’ and 1 ‘Ugly Cowboy Boots.’

Holy fucking yes.

"Matt, we need to go! "Kurtis yelled.

The timer hit ‘1.5.’

"Matt!" Val yelled. She was standing under a glowing sign that said 'Exit' in green. He scrambled over to her, stamina depleted, unable to run.

Val pushed at the door bar. Light poured through the opening. Matt flinched.

‘0.5.’

Pink hair melded with the light and then Fallyn ducked through. Waterlogged Kurtis barreled through next.

'0.4.’

Matt stumbled into the blinding brightness.

A party horn squawked, uncoiling inches from Matt’s face. It retracted then sounded again, crinkling paper and obnoxious horn. Matt pushed it away from his face.

Fucking hell. That was as bad as the recorder. His head throbbed, his lungs… Matt breathed in and out, blinking as his eyes adjusted. The tightness and crackling were gone. His heart was racing.

Murl blew the party horn a third time.

“Murl?” Matt said, stepping back from the paper tube.

Murl blew again in answer.

“Stop,” Matt grumbled, batting it away. He was over this—over everything.

They had emerged to a room with red curtains lining the walls. A gold party sign that read ‘Congratulations’ was strung up over the door at the far side. They’d had something like that at Matt’s family reunion. His second cousins’ complaints rattled at the back of his brain.

“Hi Murl!” Val said cheerfully. “Here to celebrate our victory?”

Murl blew the party horn again then winked. “You betcha!”

“Enough with the horn!” Matt said.

‘3,587,500 XP’ floated up and away and a familiar tingle began to build in Matt’s core. It crawled into his fingers and toes and made his lips feel numb. Matt seethed, head pounding in his soaking wet clothes, even as he started to glow. White text confirmed ‘Level 16.’

He knew he should be happy but all he could think was that they only got Stat Points. “Of course no Skill Points,” Matt grumbled.

Even when he saw his experience bar continue to shoot up, almost a quarter into the next level, his mind raced angrily. They could have given us the debuff without the difficulty breathing. They didn’t have to make that confetti burn so damn much. Why are we even here? The fucking music on loop. Why can’t we just live our lives?

“So, what now?” Fallyn asked Murl.

Because we’re dead, Matt thought the answer to his question.

Fallyn raised an eyebrow at him, picking up on his defeated expression.

Unaware or ignoring their silent exchange, Kurtis extended the disco ball to Murl. “I take it you want this?”

“I do but…” Murl reached out a hand and it passed right through the orb, distorting with a wave that rippled through his entire body. “That might be challenging at the moment.”

Val walked up and poked at Murl’s side. Another distortion rippled, then another. She grinned.

“Let me guess,” Matt huffed, “our next quest is to bring it to you.”

“Bingo!” Murl said. “I’ll take all three.” Then he turned to the side and muttered, “Orbi, did I say that right? I did? Oh, yay! Bingo!” Then Murl straightened and stroked his beard. “Please deliver them to my residence. I believe you know where to find it.”

“Fine,” Matt said.

Murl winked and then his image disappeared leaving white text, ‘Deliver the orbs: 0/3,’ in his place.

Fallyn figured it would take at least three days to hike back to Murl’s castle, provided they didn’t get side-tracked or ganked. The clock on Matt’s interface said ‘12.8’—which he figured was around 3 o’clock in its weird 20-hour time. He hopped down from The Parthenon, new boots squishing into the mud. He thanked the universe for his dry toes. And then his left boot suctioned off with his next step.

Fuck.

This just wasn’t his day. The universe couldn’t even let him be happy about his new footwear. “You couldn’t even give me that,” Matt muttered to the gray sky. Hats stayed on through all kinds of shit but no, not his boots.

Fuck you FRC.

Matt replaced his boot. He had to pull it into his inventory first for it to work. The plan was to head back to the tent where they’d stayed last night. There wasn’t time to reach the desert and they didn’t know of any tents in between.

So, his party meandered through the wetland, snaking along patches of muddy ground and doing their best not to slide into the water. Matt managed to keep on both boots. They fought a few alligators as they trekked, but didn’t go out of their way to engage them.

Val hummed the penny whistle solo as they walked. Matt grumbled a request to stop, but then she started up again a few minutes later. He gritted his teeth and plodded on. It had taken about five hours to reach The Parthenon that morning, and he’d gauged forced sleep at around 18.0. They had time, but he didn’t want to push it.

As the afternoon progressed, the light dimmed. The sky had already been overcast, and evening came early below the swamp moss covered trees. The tall smooth trunks were dripping with the delicate pale green, cascading between treetops like loops of fabric. The alligators’ eyes seemed to get brighter as the world dimmed. Matt watched a pair of the reptiles in the distance, judging whether they’d aggro.

“I think it’s fine,” Fallyn whispered.

“Yeah, just being sure.” Matt didn’t take his eyes from the beasts as his feet found more solid ground.

A bush rose up and poked his side, demanding his attention. He sucked in a breath when it drew blood on the back of his hand, red like the berries on its branches. The terrain transitioned from marsh to woods, darkness closing in as the thick canopy stretched out above them.

A stick cracked underfoot and Matt’s heart leaped to his throat. He tightened the grip on his weapons. Then he rolled his shoulders and exhaled slowly. He breathed again, reminding himself that the constriction was no longer there.

“I jumped too,” Kurtis admitted in a murmur.

Matt nodded and his shield clinked against his breastplate. A firefly blazed near the treetops. How is it already that late?

“Look, Wiggles,” Val said, pointing to where the bug had flared.

Matt checked his map. They were almost there. If it were brighter, maybe he’d already be able to see it. He squinted, searching for the white of the tent as he wove between the trees. A stick cracked again and he started.

Matt gritted his teeth and picked up his pace. He just had to make it to the tent. It would be fine. They were almost there. Matt stepped quickly over tree roots, around trunks and bushes. He flexed his fingers around his sword and shield and powered through. Maybe tomorrow would be better. Who was he kidding?

Another firefly flared. Matt pushed past a bush and faced down another. Two sets of eyes stared back through the round dark foliage. They narrowed, glowing red and purple. They were monstrous eyes but their shadows were human.

“Gankers,” Matt breathed.

And in that moment, he knew he could do it. The hot rage that had been churning through him all day—at FRC, at the whole fucking universe—exploded into every limb. He knew he could attack, get them before they got him. Matt hefted his shield and charged towards the enemies, screaming like a madman.