Synopsis
Matt Kelsey was an accountant who hated his job—until aliens accidentally destroyed the Earth and scanned a million humans into an MMO.
Join Matt as he journeys through the mish-mash of an Earth starter-zone, makes new friends, discovers he hates squirrels, and almost dies a bunch.
At the mercy of the owners of host servers and Continuance patents, will humanity survive, thrive, get deleted? There’s a big digital universe out there—if Matt, and whoever else is left, are allowed to join.
PS - There’s a guy who got turned into a cat and a girl who tames a pet beaver (yes, there are jokes).
What to expect- A main character who isn’t instantly powerful or an expert gamer—good thing he has a party
- POVs: 85% Matt; 15% Lars or Sharkie (and one chapter from Kurtis)
- Hitchhiker’s Guide and DCC vibes at times, can get silly/absurd and has sprinkles of references (the AI built the zone in a hurry using Earth's internet)
- Warning: Characters can die (at least one does), despite the AI naming one of their skills “Plot Armor” and the digital environment
- Branching classes/magic system, class specialization (evolution) midway
- No stat sheets/boxes, in-line stats as is plot-relevant
Update (Oct 31, 2024): After significant edits, incorporating your feedback as well as that from several rounds of beta readers, this story is headed to publication at the start of the new year. It will be leaving RR around the end of November. More information in the "Publication Announcement" chapter post.
The only place this story is legitimately published is on Royal Road. If you are reading this story anywhere else, it has been stolen. Please kindly inform me so that I can have it taken down.
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Table of Contents
- 1Prologue: Destruction imminent2024-11-13
- 2Chapter 1: Welcome to Pre-Start2024-11-13
- 3Chapter 2: How do I get Thanos powers?2024-11-13
- 4Chapter 3: My awesome mind powers continue!2024-11-13
- 5Chapter 4: I officially hate these squirrels2024-11-13
- 6Chapter 5: Now, if only I could heal my pants2024-11-13
- 7Chapter 6: Fear my magical inventory powers!2024-11-13
- 8Chapter 7: And all I got was this t-shirt2024-11-13
- 9Chapter 8: Blurry Kate Winslet2024-11-13
- 10Chapter 9: Like a softball-sized acorn to the gut2024-11-13
- 11Chapter 10: There's a Chatbot!2024-11-13
- 12Chapter 11: I remember that there wasn't much time2024-11-13
- 13Chapter 12: Maybe yell 'Shoo' at it?2024-11-13
- 14Chapter 13: We bear-ly made It2024-11-13
- 15Chapter 14: We need to move!2024-11-13
- 16Chapter 15: This place is going to ruin bacon for me2024-11-13
- 17Chapter 16: You didn't see anything2024-11-13
- 18Chapter 17: There's no way I'm drinking it2024-11-13
- 19Chapter 18: Crisp white pants2024-11-13
- 20Chapter 19: The manliest of poems2024-11-13
- 21Chapter 20: We HAVE to catch up2024-11-13
- 22Chapter 21: Can't we just call Scotty?2024-11-13
- 23Chapter 22: YOLO2024-11-13
- 24Chapter 23: The edge of the map2024-11-13
- 25Chapter 24: Who's the goodest boy?2024-11-13
- 26Chapter 25: Trapped2024-11-13
- 27Chapter 26: Have you come for dinner?2024-11-13
- 28Chapter 27: You better be friendly2024-11-13
- 29Chapter 28: Bruno only wanted snackies2024-11-13
- 30Chapter 29: This is a damn cult2024-11-13
- 31Chapter 30: Food of the trade2024-11-13
- 32Chapter 31: Off script territory2024-11-13
- 33Chapter 32: Why does being dead hurt?2024-11-13
- 34Chapter 33: Socrates on a flying unicorn2024-11-13
- 35Chapter 34: You guys are the worst2024-11-13
- 36Chapter 35: Porcelain knives2024-11-13
- 37Chapter 36: Sophisticated animal lovers2024-11-13
- 38Chapter 37: Creepy grass and sunbeams2024-11-13
- 39Chapter 38: The Real Housewives of Toronto2024-11-13
- 40Chapter 39: More confusing and more clear2024-11-13
- 41Chapter 40: A lion who swallowed a tuba2024-11-13
- 42Chapter 41: A princess who experimented2024-11-13
- 43Chapter 42: White goop2024-11-13
- 44Chapter 43: A nuclear-powered lightning bolt2024-11-13
- 45Chapter 44: That's the spot!2024-11-13
- 46Chapter 45: If Willy's still a whale2024-11-13
- 47Chapter 46: Don't take this the wrong way2024-11-13
- 48Chapter 47: A cat unraveling toilet paper2024-11-13
- 49Chapter 48: Klepto pets dressed up for Halloween2024-11-13
- 50Chapter 49: Into the sky2024-11-13
- 51Chapter 50: A pink glowstick circlet2024-11-13
- 52Chapter 51: A spring stretched to its limit2024-11-13
- 53Chapter 52: Bright flashes2024-11-13
- 54Chapter 53: A Spider-Man night-light2024-11-13
- 55Chapter 54: We can't have that2024-11-13
- 56Chapter 55: Danger: Do not enter2024-11-13
- 57Chapter 56: Close the door, close the door!2024-11-13
- 58Chapter 57: Are those travelers I hear?2024-11-13
- 59Chapter 58: Sorry, dead people2024-11-13
- 60Chapter 59: Past due pudding2024-11-13
- 61Chapter 60: Taunt activate!2024-11-13
- 62Chapter 61: Cause, smause2024-11-13
- 63Chapter 62: A hero's reward2024-11-13
- 64Chapter 63: A slippery slope2024-11-13
- 65Chapter 64: Thoroughly chilled2024-11-13
- 66Chapter 65: Floating among the stars2024-11-13
- 67Chapter 66: Something really dumb2024-11-13
- 68Chapter 67: Yippee ki yay2024-11-13
- 69Chapter 68: Reasonable expectations2024-11-13
- 70Chapter 69: A few inches into the mud2024-11-13
- 71Chapter 70: Ugly noodle gator2024-11-13
- 72Chapter 71: Waterlogged2024-11-13
- 73Chapter 72: Ripping off the Bandaid2024-11-13
- 74Chapter 73: See what I did there?2024-11-13
- 75Chapter 74: Easy XP2024-11-13
- 76Chapter 75: Get the word out2024-11-13
- 77Chapter 76: Murder chickens2024-11-13
- 78Chapter 77: Some serious Star Trek s**t2024-11-13
- 79Chapter 78: Where is everyone?2024-11-13
- 80Chapter 79: The gentlemanly thing2024-11-13
- 81Chapter 80: A waddling penguin2024-11-13
- 82Chapter 81: A slot machine ding2024-11-13
- 83Chapter 82: A great shame2024-11-13
- 84Chapter 83: No turning back2024-11-13
- 85Chapter 84: Wasn't supposed to be possible2024-11-13
- 86Chapter 85: You don't want to know2024-11-13
- 87Chapter 86: Trust me2024-11-13
- 88Chapter 87: To be unlocked2024-11-13
- 89Epilogue: Remnants2024-11-13
- 90Publication announcement2024-11-13