Matt stood at the water’s edge and locked eyes with a huge—angry—black bear. It wore a blue Hawaiian shirt, with orange flowers on it, and a bucket hat that its round ears poked through. They flicked in displeasure as it showed off sharp claws and teeth. It let out another roar and Matt’s heads-up display became visible.

Shit, Matt thought, standing very still. “Guys? How do we shoo these things?”

“Maybe yell ‘Shoo’ at it?” Kurtis said.

“The Quest Log just says ‘Shoo,’” Val confirmed. “And ‘By any means necessary.’”

The bear roared again, then threw something small with a splashy plonk.

“Kurtis?” Matt asked, eying the ‘Greater Bear’ and number ‘4’ above its head. Matt was only Level 2.

“Shoo!” Anika yelled.

Kurtis pointed at Anika and then said, “I don’t know.”

“Shoo!” Anika yelled again. It didn’t work.

Matt held his mace like a baseball bat, preparing. This is going to suck.

The bear charged. It barreled towards Matt on all fours, splashing through the shallow water. One of Val’s purple arrows caught the bear’s shoulder before it reached Matt. It shrugged the limb and kept going. Matt cast Blood Slash, the glowing afterimage hovering as a hefty claw raked across Matt’s chest.

“Ow!” Matt yelled.

Another purple arrow landed, joined by pale light from Anika, Fallyn, and Kurtis. They now veered around Matt, like magical guided missiles. That was certainly an improvement over Kurtis’ terrible aim. Then Matt was on the ground.

He had been knocked back, somehow, and was sitting on the rocky shore. His butt hurt. His chest hurt! The taste of copper was in his mouth. The red line in his heads-up display had plummeted.

With a nasal roar, the bear sauntered to Matt. His mace was out of reach at the water’s edge. He cast Rapid Regeneration. The huge beast blocked out the sun. Rocks clinked and shifted under Matt’s hands as he tried to scramble away. The bear swiped a massive paw from Matt’s chin to navel. His vision turned red. Then the beast collapsed on top of him.

Matt could just move his neck enough to see white semitransparent text floating up and away: ‘Shoo bear: 1/15’ and ‘2,800 XP.’

Then Val blocked his sliver of view. “Rarr!” she yelled, making her hands into claws.

Fallyn leaned down and flashed a relieved smile.

“A little help?” Matt said.

The corpse was immovable. But when they’d finally all looted it, it popped and shriveled on Matt’s chest. It tickled and burned.

All that for 2 CCs, 2 fish, and a bottle of beer?

Matt shivered, standing up. “Gross.” He felt at his chest. Most of the blood had steamed off with the fizzling corpse. The wound was gone. And, somehow, his stick bird t-shirt was pristine.

“Beer?” Kurtis asked, leaning into his staff. “Think it’s real?”

“You could always try it…” Matt dared, retrieving his mace.

“I’ll leave that kind of thing for Sharkie.” Kurtis laughed.

I hope they’re okay, Matt thought.

He adjusted his glasses and brushed back his curls. He was still reeling at what the Chatbot had said. He needed time to think and to figure out what everything meant. It just didn’t make sense. Matt puffed out his cheeks and blew.

The bears are wearing Hawaiian shirts, Matt, he told himself. Get yourself together. You’re in a dream or a coma. Enjoy the ride.

“Hey guys, I got something!” Anika said, spreading her arms to show off an oversized Hawaiian shirt.

“Looks much better on you than that bear!” Val complimented.

“Thanks.” She beamed.

Matt rested the end of his mace on the ground and casually tipped the hilt from one hand to the other. He noticed Fallyn adjusting leathery fingerless gloves. She smiled quietly at his glance, letting Anika have the spotlight.

“Well darn,” Kurtis broke in.

“What?” Matt asked, catching his mace in his right hand.

“I was trying to ask the Chatbot how to shoo the bears,” he explained.

Why didn’t I think of that! “What did it say?”

Kurtis read off the result, frowning, “CB: Someone in your party, or someone whom you were recently partied with, has reached the weekly limit of 20 queries. Please return in one week (FRC standard).”

“So, why do we have this party thing again?” Anika asked.

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“Uh, guys,” Fallen interjected, pointing a brown-gloved hand upstream. “Later?”

Four Greater Bears ambled through the water. They carried fishing rods, folding lawn chairs, and a cooler.

“Left to right?” Fallyn suggested, staff appearing in her hands.

“Left to right.” Matt nodded. Then he ran into the two-inch water.

This time, he cast Rapid Regeneration as he drew near, getting ahead of any initial damage. An arrow and three magic bolts arrived ahead of him. He added a red slash to their purple.

The bear threw down its belongings and then gripped the lawn chair; it swung at Matt with a chair shot to the legs. Matt fell back with a splash. A second bear stood on its hind legs and tossed beer bottles at him, then it crashed to all fours and started running. Mid-way to Matt it stopped, trapped by what looked like crystal spikes.

What is that?!

The trapped bear roared in frustration. The one looming above Matt tossed a beer bottle past him. To Matt’s right, the other two chucked glass at Kurtis and Val. He scrambled back and up. Then, the crystal restraints broke, and the once-trapped bear vaulted to Matt.

The first bear fell with a watery smack just as the second reached him and sliced down his forearm. It stung, welled red, then throbbed. It couldn’t knit fast enough. Matt took a ragged breath.

“Help!” yelled Val. She looked so small, running away from the giant bear.

Matt Blood Slashed and the bear in front of him fell, name graying out as it splashed.

Matt ran towards Val, feet heavy in the water, wishing he had ranged attacks. He wasn’t fast enough. I need to go faster!

“I got you!” Fallyn called, and then those clear crystal spikes erupted around the bear.

Where did the fourth one go? Matt thought, just in time to take a chair shot to the head.

“Get him out of here,” a voice said.

Matt squinted. The world was moving. No, he was moving. Water sloshed and rocks bumped against his back. They hurt when they hit his spine.

“I’ve got you, buddy.”

“Kurtis?” Matt croaked. “Why is the sky red?”

“Hey hey,” Kurtis acknowledged, ears angled back. “We gotta get you to shore, okay?” The cat-man shot a bolt of pale light to their left. He was red too.

Kurtis pulled him to sit up on the shore. Staff and mace clacked, dropped at Matt’s side.

Matt straightened his glasses and racked his brain. The bears were still coming in droves. It was like he was watching a movie through red lenses. Two ran through the water shaking fishing rods at Anika, like an angry person might shake their fist. A bear splashed down dead in front of Fallyn and Val.

“Can you cast your heal?” Kurtis urged, then gripped his staff and tossed a bolt at the bear nearing Anika.

My heal? My heal! Matt cast Rapid Regeneration. Then his head began to clear and the colors returned.

“You good?” Kurtis asked.

“Yeah,” Matt responded, but Kurtis was already gone.

There were five bears in the water in front of him; his group was outnumbered. Matt renewed his heal and then tested his dizziness. He wobbled to his feet and held his arms out for balance. With each passing second he felt more steady. He let out a slow breath and collected his mace. Then he rushed into the water.

The group was concentrating their attacks on the bear closest to Anika. It was an albino one that tossed pop bottles instead of beer. Fallyn trapped and re-trapped one of the black bears in crystals. Matt’s Blood Slashes hit three targets at once.

He slashed and they fired—bear after bear. A rhythm took over and, as he worked, a thought percolated. If Fallyn has Arcane Bolt and those crystals, then she doesn’t have a heal. He jerked to stare at her, horrified, but she was a picture of calm focus, precisely alternating bolts and crystals. Holy shit, this woman!

The final bear fell with a splash.

If this is my dream, then why her? Why all of them?

Matt’s heads-up display dropped as ‘30,400 XP’ floated up and away along with ‘Shoo bears: 12/15.’ Then Matt started to glow. ‘Level 3,’ ‘1 Skill Point,’ ‘5 Stat Points.’

Thank you, Matt silently said to the sky.

Val cheered and Fallyn adopted the vacant stare of menu-reading.

After a few minutes of his own menu scrolling and entertaining what-ifs, Matt committed his points. He spent his Skill Point on Bulwark and put all of his Stat Points in health. That bear fight had been too close for comfort.

Bulwark would give him 50% Physical Resistance while he was using it, but the catch was that he couldn’t move or cast anything at the same time. It also had a three-minute cooldown. It felt like a Hail Mary, and he didn’t want to experiment when he truly needed it, so he decided to try it on the next bear.

That next bear came along as a group of two, just a few minutes upstream. Matt ran into the water—it came up to his knees—and the pair dropped onto all fours. They roared. Matt stopped a few feet in front of them and cast Bulwark.

He felt solid, strong, powerful. It was like his feet were part of the water and stones. Then, the bears barreled past him, heading straight towards Fallyn on the shore.

Shit.

Matt pivoted and started trudging after the bears. The others pelted them with bolts and arrows. Fallyn snared one with her crystals but the other continued at full speed.

“Run!” Matt yelled. He was too slow.

The bear raised one massive paw and clawed Fallyn from cheek to shoulder. It ripped through her flesh and shirt. The green fabric bloomed with dark blood. She struck the bear with an Arcane Bolt and it fell.

“Ouch!” she yelled, clutching her face. Then she kicked the dead bear and hopped back as if that had injured her toe. She blinked and squinted, water pouring from her eyes. Then glowed neon green and her wounds knit closed.

Matt breathed a deep sigh of relief.

The group focused down the remaining bear. Matt caught up to it, and Blood Slashed a red glow. Fallyn kept it trapped in crystals and soon it slumped into the stream.

They made quick work of looting and were soon roaming upstream in search of one final bear. After about ten minutes without monsters, Matt started to feel less tense. The warm sunlight had started to dry his clothes and he let his eyes drift to the mountains. He hoped the water would help his coffee stain fade.

Val began to hum and Kurtis twitched his ears. Matt’s mind drifted to what the Chatbot had said and a sickening feeling roiled in his stomach. He pushed the feeling and the thoughts back down. I’m in a dream, he told himself.

The stream led them around a bend where lily pads and bulrushes crowded in. The water slowed and the stream approached a marsh. And sitting on a lawn chair at the very edge was their final fishing bear.

“Get it!” Val yelled.

It roared and combat began. Anika, Fallyn, Val, and Kurtis rained attacks on it while Matt ran in. The bear stood in front of the chair, shaking its fishing rod at the group. Matt reached the animal, and it whipped the rod at him. It stung his arm and cheek. Matt Blood Slashed once, twice, then the bear fell, name turning gray.

‘Shoo bears: 15/15’ floated up and away along with ‘2,400 XP.’

Matt looted the bear and waited for his group to do the same. “Everyone got 15?”

They confirmed and Matt looted. As he waited for the others to do the same, he peered into the bulrushes. There was something odd about the sounds. Matt couldn’t remember what a marsh was supposed to sound like, but something didn’t seem right.

Then he noticed a thick black mist rolling over the surface of the water, creeping around the plants. Ten feet ahead, a large reptilian quadruped rose from the marsh, draped in slick algae. It stood tall—taller than the bears—with a back and head protected by slimy carapace. Its name flashed red, ‘Kappa’ level ‘???’.

Matt turned and, for the second time that day, he yelled, “Run!”