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Chapter 42: White goop

The huge wrought iron gate silhouetted black against the blue and cloud-streaked sky. Vertical tines were met with intricate spirals, blossoming into leaves. And, atop a strong cornice, the metal curled into a crown. The left door was open.

Matt’s party filed through, leaving the gravemist and zombie squirrels behind. It had been a short 20-minute hike this morning. They’d overnighted at a canvas tent near the base of a central ridge. Matt suspected the peaks were home to one of the obelisks he’d encountered in the gray.

Once inside the park, Matt was struck by how empty it was. He’d visited New York on a high-school trip once. His class had walked through Central Park, done a ghost tour, and seen a play. He didn’t remember specifics—it was too long ago—but he did recall the people. There had been so many people everywhere: walking dogs, chatting, sitting on benches. Today, the wide paved pathway was empty and so was the green. It looked wrong.

“Hey,” Matt said. “Shouldn’t there be more people?”

Their shoes crunched softly against the grit on the pavement.

“It’s not the real Central Park.” Kurtis swished his tail.

“No.” Matt’s mind had already leapfrogged. “I mean the people in here with us.”

“Gankers, keep staying away please!” Val said quickly. Her bow was slung over one shoulder. It, and her tiara, reflected the light with each stride.

“Okay, so we started with a million,” Matt explained. “Then there was the snap. This place is huge but…” He spread his hands.

“The tent,” Fallyn said quietly.

Matt scrunched his face and waited for more. They were approaching a fountain. It sprayed water straight up. The rushing sound overtook their footfalls.

“They’ve shown us that there are parallel versions of the same place,” Fallyn continued. “There could be any number of them. There could be other people in this very spot—neither of us aware of the other.”

The group halted at the magnitude of that idea.

Matt stared at Fallyn. Well, shit, he thought. How many versions could there be?

“Makes sense.” Kurtis shrugged as the group resumed walking. “Lots of games use phasing.”

“So, can this phasing thing keep us away from the gankers?” Val steepled her hands.

Kurtis shrugged again.

Matt wished he remembered more from his school trip. A tall hedge maze stretched out behind the fountain. There didn’t seem to be a path around it, only through.

“Val, where are we going?” Matt asked.

She pointed at the maze. “That way, but kinda far?”

“Anyone know this place?” he followed up.

After a long moment without answers, Val cheerily said, “Not me!” She took a dramatic step towards the maze.

They entered the hedges with an immediate turn right, which opened onto a long narrow passage. The ground was hard-packed dirt and the green walls were just high enough that Matt couldn’t see over. They were short enough that he could jump and spy their tops, but not much else. It seemed to stretch out over several football fields.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Kurtis said, holding his tail in an oven-mitted hand.

“We just need to pick a side,” Fallyn explained. “Either left or right. And then, no matter what, we always follow that wall.”

A minute later the passage ended in a T. The wall of green ahead reminded Matt of his neighbor’s garden. They grew a tiny-leafed bush along the property line that they trimmed into a squared-off hedge. It sprouted bright red berries that would stay through the winter and attract chirping birds. They’d perch and feed, feathers puffed out, trying to keep warm in the snow.

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“Which one?” Kurtis asked nervously.

“It really doesn’t matter,” assured Fallyn, tucking brown waves behind one ear.

“To the quest!” Val declared, hand to the sky and heading right. “To our mascot!”

They spent the next half hour wandering around bends and down long stretches, always turning right. The hedge was so thick. The maze seemed to go on forever. Matt followed his group—and their plan—until he thought he heard a flutter.

Matt stopped. Kurtis’ ears flared in confirmation. The others paused too. Then there was a soft coo. Matt got out his swords. They gleamed in the sunlight. He wasn’t taking any chances.

After a moment of stillness and silence, Matt resumed walking. He led the way to a wall of bush. Matt flexed his fingers and ducked around the corner. The way was clear: narrow path and high hedge walls. Then after a few steps forward, the passage veered right. Matt steeled himself and made the turn. Again, no enemies in sight.

The maze proceeded straight for several minutes. Kurtis’ ears periscoped at Matt’s side.

“What is it?” Matt whispered.

“Not sure…”

They kept plodding ahead.

Eventually, the passage began to curve left—ever so slightly at first, and then more. They were heading into a spiral.

Kurtis froze.

Matt heard it again: a soft thumping sound like the beating of wings. The hedge to his right shook, shedding tiny green leaves while it rustled. Matt took two slow steps back.

“Ow,” said Fallyn. He’d stepped on her toe.

“Sorry.”

Then in a rush of branches and a flight of leaves, a cat-sized pigeon popped up and settled on the top of the hedge. It cooed.

“Hello, friend!” Val cried, moving closer.

Matt adjusted the grip on his swords. His heads-up display hadn’t activated. The ‘Pigeon’ text floating over the creature was yellow.

Well, that’s new. Matt watched the bird cautiously.

Kurtis and Fallyn had their weapons out too. Val’s still hung on her shoulder. She had moved to the hedge nearest the giant pigeon and had raised her right hand.

Val began to motion left, right, left, right,… Dark green threads of light collected beneath her swing. The bird cooed and puffed out its feathers. It walked closer to the edge near Val, head bobbing forward and back. Then it settled down and watched her. Left, right, left, right,…

“Come on,” Val muttered.

Then the pigeon hissed and flared its wings.

“Fudge,” she said.

Matt’s heads-up display activated. ‘Pigeon’ changed from yellow to red. The bird turned away quickly.

Is it going to leave?

The pigeon raised its wings and tail. It pooped on Val’s head.

Matt lurched forward and Blood Slashed while Val stood there, frozen, white goop dripping down pink hair. White fire melted onto the bird from above and violet bolts of light engulfed it. It toppled back over the hedge wall.

Matt waited, swords ready, for the bird to return. Then his heads-up display faded and ‘2,000 XP’ floated up and away.

“Didn’t want you as a pet anyway,” Val muttered.

“It wouldn’t work either?” Fallyn furrowed her brow.

“That one did,” Val said. “Just failed.” She frowned and then elaborated. “Skill says ‘10% success rate’ and ‘varies with level discrepancy.’” She made air quotes with both hands. Then she reached up and touched her hair. “Ugh.”

Matt tried to reach through the bush to find the corpse so they could loot. His arm only found scratches from twigs. Val’s hair smelled sour.

“No,” Val said, horrified. She stepped back and shot a dark purple arrow at the bush. But it stopped halfway down the shaft, lodged among the tiny green leaves. She shot another, and another. “No, no, no!”

Matt tried Blood Slash. A red X glowed pale in the air, but the bushes remained pristine.

“Might have to wait for it to despawn,” Kurtis said.

Matt wiped his swords on the bushes.

“Unless you want to do that.” The cat-man nodded towards Matt.

“And get leaves stuck in it too?!”

Kurtis shrugged. “I heard it’s good luck to have bird poo on your head.”

Val disappeared her bow and crossed her arms. “Let’s go.” She started walking.

The line of the hedge continued to curve, increasingly spiraling inward, without offering branching paths.

“Fountain,” Kurtis said quietly. Then added, “I think.”

Several minutes later, they learned that the cat-man was right. A cherub statue peed a dribble of water into a large round basin, edged with flat concrete the width of a bench.

“Oh, thank God,” Val said, rushing towards the water. She sat on the stone ledge and cupped it onto her hair. The sleeves and front of her jumpsuit got quickly soaked.

Fallyn approached the statue, thumbs hanging from the pockets of her vest. It was spraying from the back of the circle. Matt wasn’t sure whether to help Val or stay out of her way. And what was Fallyn doing? Kurtis paced a circuit around the little courtyard’s edge.

Then, suddenly, Val leaned over and dunked her head with a splash. Wet hairs clung to the sides of her face and, somehow, her tiara had stayed on.

“Did I get it?” she asked.

“Sort of?” Matt grimaced. The bird poo seemed a little diluted but white still covered a lot of her pink.

She dunked her head again.

Really going for it, Matt thought. In a weird way, he was impressed. She just charged in and did her thing, regardless of anyone—of anything, really.

Matt sat down on the ledge, trashcan lid clunking. Val clearly needed a minute and Fallyn… Fallyn reached up to the cherub’s belly and extracted a glowing purple book. The large tome emerged from a bright laser-line cut in the air.

“Ooh-who-who!” The statue’s shoulders wiggled slowly with a grinding noise.

“That tickled,” it said in a gruff deep voice.