The herd of alpacas traded squeaky toy sounds and nibbled on scrub grass as Matt and his group walked by. They gave the animals a wide birth, watching the travelers with ingenue eyes. So far, the northern pass had been little more than these animals, the mountains, a lot of small bushes, and the occasional tree. The trees were stunted and mostly on the slopes; Matt was convinced they were the wrong kind. The blue on his map for Apprentice Hazel’s apples was still some distance ahead.

Squeak. Squeak.

“Don’t even think about it,” Kurtis told Val.

She responded with a pouty frown.

“They’re not even from Mexico.” Fallyn crossed her arms.

“Maybe we can find some smaller groups?” Kurtis said. “I could rock one of those sombreros.”

In addition to geographically inappropriate hats, the alpacas each wore brightly colored blankets across their backs.

“Matt still needs a hat.” Val grinned.

“I’m good. Doesn’t really go with my trash bear mystique.”

Kurtis rapped an oven-mitted fist on Matt’s front trashcan lid.

“Careful,” Matt cautioned, glancing nervously at the animals.

But the alpacas stayed put and continued with their noises. It really did sound like they’d swallowed a bunch of dog toys.

The group put another twenty feet between them, and then Val started up again. “I was thinking more trash barbarian. Oooh, maybe like you live at the junkyard in a fort made of garbage and old cars!” Her eyes went wide with delight and she smiled.

“And you’re married to a woman who turns out to be a metal sculpture!” Kurtis said. “She has forks for hands.” He wiggled his mitts. “And you Sharpied her eyes on a dinner plate!” The cat-man grinned expectantly. “You know, one of those things where the audience doesn’t know until the end of the movie? The big reveal?”

“I can find a real woman, guys.”

“We believe you,” Val sing-songed.

“I can! I had a… well, we never said ‘girlfriend,’ but… she… I… I mean.” Matt brushed back his curls. “Ugh.” He shook his head.

“What was her name?” Surprisingly, it was Fallyn who’d asked.

“Emily.” Matt paused, then added, “I think we’re broken up now, if I’m honest. If she made it here and then didn’t get... You know.” He waved a hand. “And if we counted as together.”

Fallyn raised an eyebrow.

“We went on a few dates, okay? We weren’t dating anyone else. I just…” Matt sighed and rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “And I’ve just been thinking, lately, that… that I’m glad she’s not in our party.” He winced, instantly regretting having admitted that out loud. “I’m a horrible person.”

“No, you’re not!” Val leaped to his defense. “I mean, I’m not gonna date you, but I’m glad we’re friends.” She held a smile with eyebrows raised.

“Yeah man, it’s fine,” Kurtis chimed in, adjusting his glasses. “You’re being honest. And it’s the end of the world. Plus, you’ve got more game than I do. And now…” He spread his orange arms and looked down.

“We have got to ask the Operator about that,” Matt said.

“On my list.” The cat-man sighed.

“So, if we were to look for a new girl for you…?” Val smiled sweetly.

Matt rolled his eyes. “You guys are the worst.”

“What about that Cathleen girl? You know, if we see her again.”

A few minutes later, Matt noticed green smoke spilling over the landscape ahead. It was a paler shade than Val’s trap ability and it moved differently. It curled like waves, gently somersaulting, then flooding out over the scrub grass.

“Stop!” Fallyn commanded.

Everyone froze.

“There.” She pointed. “I think it’s gravemist.”

Matt took a deep breath. “Guess we get to test our immunity.”

Matt led the way into the swirling green. It curled around their ankles and spilled over their feet. Val took sweeping steps to play with it. Matt waved a foot side-to-side, testing.

“Matches your shoes,” Fallyn said quietly with a smile.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

Damn Crocks. They were the only thing that didn’t go with his otherwise black and silver outfit.

About half an hour into the gravemist, the landscape started to change. Tufts of grass turned brown and shriveled; it crunched under their feet. Trees and bushes became leafless skeletons. Even the sky turned gray.

Then a dot of color came into view, a sombrero-wearing Alpaca—a group of three.

“Got your wish, Kurtis.” Matt nodded towards the animals.

“Let’s make sure it’s just three,” Fallyn advised. They were still a football field away.

Approaching with caution, Matt tightened and loosened his grip on his swords. His palms were slightly sweaty. Then he stalled, about ten feet from the animals.

Something was very wrong. The leftmost alpaca was missing half its face; the remaining flesh drooped. The middle one’s sombrero was torn, and the animal on the right had something wrong with its front legs, heavily matted with blood.

A high-pitched sound like scratchy broken audio poured out from the beasts. They shook their long necks and the noise transitioned to a staccato whistle. Matt shared a glance with Fallyn. Then his heads-up display flashed on as alpaca spit flew towards him. It burned.

“Agh!” Matt groaned—half in pain and half out of grossness. His health dropped by 20%.

Val shot an arrow’s revenge. It pulsed dark purple in the middle alpaca’s chest.

Matt cast Rapid Regeneration and ran in glowing blue. Shadow Flurry whipped around him, wrapping him in a whorl of obsidian shards. He Blood Slashed a glowing X across the three sombreroed enemies.

“Left to right,” Fallyn called, directing the ranged attacks.

Purple lights lit up the beast missing half its face.

“Why are they zombies?!” Val yelled.

The enemy on the right nipped at Matt’s exposed elbows, teeth razor-sharp. Matt gasped.

“Gravemist?” Kurtis guessed. “We’ve seen weirder!”

The middle monster spit hot acid. It burned Matt’s neck raw. Cold air kissed it painfully. He resisted the urge to touch it and renewed his heal.

Ow fucking ouch.

“I want the cute ones back!” complained Val.

Matt Blood Slashed from the right with parallel blades. The half-faced alpaca dodged his attack and then charged around him to the ranged group. Matt pivoted into an extra-long follow-through. Then the charging alpaca skidded to the ground in a flare of purple.

Two left.

Matt turned back and Blood Slashed an X. He breathed through the pain as his blue sparks continued to work.

Then the second animal died, collapsing to the side. Matt raised both swords to try an attack from above. Then, before he could swing, the final alpaca toppled.

Matt closed his eyes, avoiding the transparent white text. He breathed in and out.

“Beat Around the Bush.” Kurtis shrugged. “Not bad!”

Of course!

Matt had been so focused on the fight. Of course, they were all getting buffed from that Earth Aspect skill. There were bushes everywhere. He’d been frustrated at wasting a point on it the other day. But now, finally, they were in a situation where the 10% damage increase would work.

Bring on the bushes, Matt thought, exhaling slowly.

He gave his wounds a moment to finish knitting closed, sparks intertwining and then fading away. Then Matt bent to loot.

Please no sombrero.

“The other ones were so cute.” Val picked at the sleeves of her flight suit.

Up close and still, Matt had to agree with Val’s assessment. These alpacas were somehow ‘zombies,’ missing chunks of flesh and rotting away. The creatures’ thick fur hung loose and, caked with blood, it was practically sliding off.

Matt’s loot was uneventful, CCs and junk. Kurtis got a pair of medium weight Basic Pants, which were bind on equip, but the ones they all had were equivalent or better. Matt stepped back and the corpses shriveled and hissed. The smell was wrong: sour and sulfuric.

“Oof.” Fallyn held her nose.

“Yeah,” Matt agreed, blinking.

“At least the gross stuff still disappears,” Val said. Then she grinned and added smugly, “And I got more CCs.”

The group made their way through another half hour of gravemist, a depressing overcast landscape of dead brush and trees. They battled small packs of zombie alpacas throughout their hike, pulling them towards bushes if the area was more sparse. They all needed the XP—especially having lost their buff.

It was Val who spotted the first bush with leaves. “Guys!” She pointed.

“You’re just excited for the cute ones to come back,” Kurtis accused.

“‘Course I am!”

“If they smell better,” Matt said, “I’m in.”

Then Matt’s interface drew his attention. He’d been getting used to tuning it out, but his health bar suddenly shrunk.

“There goes our soup buff.” Kurtis sighed.

Another fucking casualty of the gankers. Matt smoldered. He couldn’t help thinking that the bonus stats could have helped so much more if they hadn’t lost all that time.

The pass narrowed and gently curved right. They kept a lookout for normal alpacas—as normal as sombrero- and blanket-wearing animals could be. Then, instead of cute wooly quadrupeds, the group found another welcome sight: an octagonal white tent.

Relief washed over Matt. “Yes,” he whispered. Finally, something was going their way.

“Awesome.” Kurtis’ ears perked up.

Matt breathed out slowly as they continued their approach. He let go of a little tension with each second of that breath. By his guess, it was half an hour from sunset. They would’ve had to start planning for a safe place to rest soon.

“Yoo-hoo!” Val called. “Anyone home?”

Shit, Matt panicked. What if there are other people? He raised his swords.

Fallyn noticed his movement and readied her staff.

“Thank goodness, traveler!” An aging man popped his head out from behind the tent. “I was beginning to get lonely. Please be welcome at my fire. It’s in behind. Come, come.”

White text bobbed above the man’s bald head, as he led them to a ring of stumps around the dying embers of a fire. It simply read, ‘Alex.’ It seemed there was no rhyme or reason for how these characters were named. Matt thought an advanced race of aliens would at least have standardized.

Alex held his left hand above the fire pit. He made a fist, then quickly opened it. Flames licked the air, climbing up to his hand. A shower of sparks cascaded.

“Better.” Alex smoothed his baggy pants and settled onto a stump beside the blaze. “So, travelers, you are brave to come through the gravemist. How is it you found me here?”

“It’s not supposed to hurt us,” Val blurted.

Fallyn grimaced. She didn’t look happy that Val had shared that so freely.

“Ah…” The bald man tapped his chin. “I am not so lucky. It’s got me trapped, you see. While I cannot leave, perhaps you can help me. The sun is low, share my fire, and rest.” He gestured at the white canvas. “Tomorrow we shall speak of this more.”

The fire crackled. Matt rolled his shoulders watching the flames. It even smelled like campfire.

He tried to relax. The tent was exactly what they needed, but he couldn’t help feeling incredibly behind. They’d lost so much time to the gankers. They’d been robbed of half his XP. They were only a third of the way to Level 10—Level 10 and their first specialization.

They had a lot of catching up to do.