Matt strode down the pale arched hallway for the last time, alongside Kurtis, Val, and Fallyn. Their feet tapped softly against the flagstone while Wiggles scuffled beside Val on all fours. Another team of three walked just ahead of them. Both groups were quiet out of caution, so the footfalls filled the air.

Sister Clarence waited near the wall candelabra, the only marker Matt had found for the portal’s location aside from the nun. The woman clasped her hands behind her back, drowned in the heavy black folds of her skirt. She gave a wizened nod to the oncoming travelers.

Fallyn held a hand across their group, silently signaling that they should wait. Matt nodded and settled into a lean against the wall. His back trash can lid clacked against it. The surface was cool under his palms. Val knelt to scratch Wiggles’ head and the beaver let out a quiet squeak. Kurtis paced, and Fallyn stood pensively, cradling her elbows.

“You are ready to depart?” Sister Clarence asked the other group.

Matt watched the strangers murmur their confirmation and then the nun stepped back. She held her arms in front of her face, elbows and wrists touching. Then she separated them in a swift arcing movement and the watery portal formed, replacing the stone in the wall.

Two of the three people stepped through quickly. The third paused to thank the nun and then, with a nod, entered too. The portal shrank immediately. It closed in on its center like a cheesy circle wipe changing scenes in an old movie. The scene they were left with was utterly mundane. The stone wall was smooth and pale as if that’s all it had ever been. The nun smiled in Matt’s direction.

“We’re up,” said Kurtis, withdrawing an oven mitt from where he’d been scratching under his colander.

“We’re ready,” Matt called to the nun.

“You are ready to depart?”

“Yes, we are,” said Fallyn softly.

The nun repeated her action and formed the portal in the wall. It really was like the surface of a lake, but no matter what angle Matt looked at it, the mysteries of its depths were not visible.

“Me, Val, Kurtis, Fallyn?” Matt checked that they were using their usual order.

“Yep!” Val said. “Ready!” Wiggles was on his hind legs and she held up his hand. The beaver looked confused.

Matt cast Rapid Regeneration. It didn’t do as much, since he couldn’t equip his weapons inside the abbey, and so was missing out on their Weapon Power—but it was something. He stepped through the pool and hoped for the best.

When the disorientation started to clear, the first things to register were screams. Matt stumbled to the right, feet feeling like they were encased in cement. Had he been hit by something? His eyes took a moment to adjust. There were bright flashes beside him. Bright… attacks. He fumbled through his inventory for his swords. He squinted.

What the fuck? he thought.

“It’s Matt,” yelled a gruff familiar voice. “Steady there,” Dirk warned in a speaking tone.

What the fuck?

Val and Kurtis were now beside him. Fallyn was just appearing, solidifying from static in front of the wall.

“Don’t worry,” calmed Sofia, who was now walking towards him. “We won’t attack you.”

“Old time’s sake,” Dirk said.

Matt’s mind caught up. When he’d stumbled, he’d tripped over a body. He turned to survey the scene. Greyed-out corpses of eight people were strewn about the crunchy grass, gravemist rolling over all of them.

What the fuck?

“It’s easy XP.” Dirk shrugged.

“You can always join us,” Sofia invited.

“No thanks,” Matt said, working hard to keep his tone neutral. “We’re leaving.”

“Suit yourself,” said Dirk as a hail of light descended from above.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Dirk disappeared, engulfed by shadow.

“Eee!” cried Wiggles as the attacks began to hit.

Matt ran.

After ten minutes, they were fairly sure no one was following, but they hiked with weapons out just in case. Matt worried about Sofia and Dirk, even though part of him thought it was karma. The whole thing was a mess. No one deserved that grayscale place—or to fall behind and be gone forever.

Instinctively, Matt took up watch of their left; they fell into their roles from the mountains. He studied the landscape and pushed down memories. He was so focused on his task that he didn’t notice the tower until it was unmistakable: a pale column jutting up from the bright green landscape at an unreal angle. It was like the Leaning Tower of Pisa he’d seen in pictures.

“That must be it,” he said, pointing. His feet crunched with every step but were fully obscured by the thick neon gas.

“What’s your thing again?” Val asked, pink hair and tiara shining bright in the sun.

“Uh…” Matt opened up his quest log and then tried to paraphrase. “Rapunzel in a leaning tower—I’m guessing that one—made some sort of potion. It says ‘consume’ so… I drink it?”

“Hope it tastes good,” Val said.

“Hee?” said Wiggles through the branch in his teeth.

“Yes, Mr. Wiggles,” Val cooed, “your branch is the best one.”

“Wu.”

Kurtis looked at Matt and spread his oven mitts into an ‘I don’t know’ gesture. The sun on their backs made the orange hairs on his shoulders glow.

“Did it tell you what to expect in the tower?” Fallyn asked.

“Not really.” Matt shook his head.

“Maybe these things?” Kurtis suggested, pointing to some green Jello mounds twenty feet ahead.

Matt wasn’t sure if they were alive, but Kurtis approached with his staff so he readied his swords just in case. The blob jiggled and was the size of a dishwasher. There was a smaller one beside it, closer to the size of a microwave. Kurtis extended his staff and poked at the big one, while Matt wondered if the small one was its baby.

It wobbled a little in response, bouncing back from Kurtis’ prodding. Then ‘Goo,’ appeared in red text above both green entities. The cat-man jumped back in surprise. Matt’s heads-up display activated.

“Guess they didn’t like that,” Matt said and charged in.

He Blood Slashed an X with his swords. Pain reverberated up his arms as the pale afterimages glowed in the air. His strikes had bounced off the creature.

“Agh,” he grunted and cast Rapid Regeneration. The tri-snap for his instant heal would be awkward with two swords.

He gritted his teeth. The enemy had no face, mouth, eyes. The group seemed to be focusing on the larger of the two, lighting it up with purple and white. Two arrows were lodged in its side. They pulsed deep purple.

Matt steeled himself and Blood Slashed parallel strikes.

God, damn it! Pain shot up both forearms.

Wiggles ran and body slammed the goo, bouncing back several feet with a squeal of delight.

“Again!” yelled Val.

“Eee!” said Wiggles, running in.

The larger goo slumped and its name text turned gray.

Wiggles flew through the air where it once had been.

“Ch-ch-ch-ch!” said the beaver when he landed somewhere in the thick green beyond.

Matt turned to the smaller slime. It was already at half health. He Blood Slashed. The reverberation wasn’t as bad. He tensed and loosened his grip, moving his hands to help the shock pass.

A conduit of fire and lightning connected with the Jello beast, driving it into the ground.

‘6,400 XP’ floated up and away.

Matt massaged the underside of his forearms through his furry black arm guards, hoping for something different inside the tower.

###

About half an hour—and a few more goos—later, Matt’s group came upon a tree. The only other trees Matt had seen in the last hour had been dead, spindly things, but this tree was neither of those. It was not a type of tree Matt could identify. Fist-sized round leaves formed a large umbrella canopy, and the broad trunk had clumps of something moss-like hanging off it. As they got closer, Matt noticed its strangest feature: a face.

“Hello?” the tree spoke like a British man. “Hello? Travelers? Are you travelers?” The bark of its lips moved under a finely curled mustache and the face bore a hopeful expression.

“Yes, we are!” Val declared. “And he’s a beaver.”

“Erwu!”

“Oh, thank goodness. Will you scratch my nose? It’s been days since someone’s scratched my nose.”

Fallyn and Kurtis stood beside Matt and gave a look that said ‘Not me.’ Val reached up to salve the tree’s itch.

“That’s the spot.” The tree sighed. “Thank you.”

Val stepped back and patted Wiggles on his head. They stared up at the talking tree.

“Well, come closer, so that we may converse,” the tree said.

“Alright,” said Matt, taking a cautious step.

The blur descended, focusing the conversation to an exchange between himself and the large tree.

“My name is Herbert,” the tree said.

“Hello Herbert,” acknowledged Matt.

“It’s sooooo nice having visitors. I’m quite alone here, you see. What—”

The blurry backdrop got brighter.

“Oh-ho-ho,” said the tree.

Then there was a flash like lightning.

“Where was I?” recovered Herbert.

“Visitors are nice. You’re alone. You’re going to give me a quest.”

“Right! Thank you, specialist.” The tree paused and furrowed bushy eyebrows. “I may have a task for you. Where are you headed?”

“I have a class quest for the tower.”

“Oh, the tower! The tower, the tower… Yes, the towwww-er. I went in search of the tower once…”

“Can you tell me anything about it?”

“I never made it to the tower…” Herbert said sadly.

“What happened?”

“Well, this happened!” Herbert sputtered. “Isn’t it obvious, or has the mist gotten so thick you can’t see my leaves?”

Matt grimaced. The foliage rustled; he wasn’t sure if it was the wind or Herbert.

“You wanted me to come close so we could talk?” Matt tried.

“Yes, yes…” The tree sighed. “I was sure you could do something useful. Now that I know you’re going to the tower… Scout the first two floors for me. Report back with what you find and we’ll go from there.”

“Alright,” Matt said and the blur faded.