The alligator sloshed into the muck, head impaled by the point of Matt’s shield. Its feet wriggled then stilled, limbs flopping, name fading to gray. Matt heaved his shield from the reptile’s skull, leaning back with his whole body to wrench the huge black panel free. The lines of its tower design gleamed softly with the movement. The sky above was pure white.

“Take that you soon-to-be old lady handbag!” Matt yelled, stumbling back a step.

Water bubbled around the alligator’s tail, its forebody sinking a few inches into the mud.

“Don’t think you can taunt dead things,” Kurtis said.

“Extra practice,” Matt grumbled.

Fallyn raised an eyebrow and pointed up ahead to where The Parthenon rose out of the marsh. The building didn’t look level. Scraggly vines crawled over its pillars and swamp moss hung from its roof as if it were one of the trees. If Invoice was right, this was where they’d find the third sphere.

“Mmm gator jerky,” Val said.

It was Kurtis’ turn to raise his eyebrows.

“What? I haven’t eaten anything in like… 30? 35? 36? Well, 30-something days. More than a month.”

As if on cue, the yellow announcement started to scroll: ‘ANNOUNCEMENT. 11 days remaining until the Megabowl. Travelers must be Level 17-20 to enter. Winning party will be admitted to The Continuance. Prosperity and profits for all.’

Fuck you, FRC, Matt silently told the blank sky. Today was an eerie sort of overcast. Bright but not and he couldn’t find the sun.

“Close enough,” Val said.

Matt sighed and Val gave him a pointed look. “Not you,” he said quickly. “It’s just this place. This whole situation.”

He’d been at Level 15 for eight days, since getting the second crystal. He just needed the last damn 10%; it needed to hurry up already. Eleven days remaining wasn’t enough. And these freaking announcements scrolled every day now as if he needed another reminder.

Fallyn had a theory that they just needed more quests. She said their ratio of quests to kills had been lower the last few days. Matt’s accountant brain appreciated the math but it wasn’t perfect. What was the formula? Some quests gave way more XP than others and each level required more. FRC was also probably trying to screw them. It was going to be close—and that was if they didn’t die again.

“Get anything good?” Kurtis asked.

“No shoes,” Matt said. “Or gator jerky for Val.”

Kurtis grinned.

They’d been working through the marsh all morning and into early afternoon. Matt’s lime-green Crocks were full of mud. It slid through the holes and slipped between his toes. Each step made a squishing sound. He was the opposite of stealthy and was sure his toes were raisins.

Matt squish-squashed his way to the pale stone foundation, a wall just taller than he was. He couldn’t see beyond the pillars any better than he had from far away. There had looked to be some sort of internal structure beyond them, but it was darkly shaded and now the angle was too severe. He tapped a fist on the stone, then laid his hand flat.

“Think this is what the real one is like?” Matt asked.

“I’ve never been there,” Fallyn said, “but I recall it’s not in a swamp.”

Kurtis held out both arms in an ‘I don’t know’ gesture.

“Let’s go!” Val cheered.

“Erwu!”

Matt raised both eyebrows at Miss Pink ball of energy and her furry Mini-Me. She was already striding around the foundation to the right. There had to be stairs or an opening somewhere. Kurtis fell into step behind her, scratching underneath his colander hat. Matt gestured, ‘After you,’ to Fallyn and then brought up the rear.

There didn’t seem to be any alligators right next to the building, but he carried his sword and shield just in case. If he was honest about it, today, he didn’t mind driving those creatures into the mud. He rounded a corner—no alligators—then another.

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Of course, they took the long way around. They’d started on a long side and were now most of the way down the other. The building was huge. And then there it was, right before the next corner: a rope ladder of knots and blue plastic. It looked like it belonged on a ship.

Matt stowed his weapons as the girls climbed. Then he and Kurtis pushed the squirming beaver up to their outstretched hands. Kurtis scampered up next, tail swishing in counterbalance, and then Matt began the climb. The ladder arched and wobbled, threatening to twist. Matt’s legs shook. The ladder pulled away from the foundation. Then Kurtis’ hand was thrust out above him. He let the cat-man pull him to the top.

Matt’s legs felt unsteady for the first few moments. He leaned his shoulder against one of the massive white pillars, the vertical grooves pressing into his arm. The platform sloped away behind him.

The marsh looked peaceful from up high. There was no wind, little sound. The gray-green swamp moss draped over everything felt dreamlike. He spied an alligator in the distance, lying flat and still.

“Only one way to go,” said Fallyn, with a gentle elbow. She was faced in the opposite direction.

Matt twisted off the column and followed her gaze. There looked to be a house within a house, walls rising a few feet inside the pillars. It was all pale stone except for a bright red door.

Matt retrieved his sword and shield and nodded. “One way to go.”

The room beyond the red door was a strange mash-up of every children’s TV show Matt had ever seen. There was a green couch sized for a giant, an umbrella tree, and even a train set running along the ceiling. It rounded a corner and puffed out steam. The door clicked shut behind them.

Kurtis tugged on the handle and his tail puffed out. The door shook but wouldn’t open.

“It’ll be alright,” Matt whispered.

Wiggles was dragging a rag doll across the room. Matt guessed the space was about twenty feet long. It was smaller than he had expected. But there was another red door at its end.

Fallyn tucked her hair behind one ear, reaching out to touch a dress hanging on a coat tree. The fabric was patterned with stars and planets. “I always liked Magic School Bus,” she said. “Something about escape through learning and the wonder all around us.”

“Dragon Ball Z,” Matt said. “You know, when I graduated from Sesame Street.”

“The trashcans make so much more sense now!” Val exclaimed.

“I’m not Oscar,” Matt blurted.

“I see trashcan… silver… green.” She pointed to his shoes—his stupid shoes.

Matt glared.

Wiggles bumped against his legs, scampering across the room, dragging a rotary phone on wheels. Matt’s parents had kept an old one of those—a real one, not the toy—in the basement. He’d been fascinated with it, as a kid, the weight of the spinning dial. It might as well have been a Tricorder when he found it in that box. He’d been floored when they explained it to him.

The room shook. Matt stumbled to the side. Cleaning supplies were falling on him, mugs, paper towels, hot coffee—everything was falling, people were screaming. Brenda and the Keuirg were on the floor. Matt’s shoulder slammed into the wall, the coat tree’s prongs mere inches from his face. His shield was jabbing into his leg. He’d somehow dropped his sword.

“What was that?” Kurtis said, lowered to a crouch. His eyes darted from wall to ceiling. The train continued to puff along its circuit.

“I have no idea,” Matt said, stooping to retrieve his sword. Fucking FRC, what’s next?

Fallyn walked up to the door they’d come through and tried pulling. “Still no.”

“Guys?” Val squeaked from the opposite end of the room. Wiggles was clinging to her leg. “I think I did something.”

“What did you do?” growled Kurtis.

“Ah-after, I mean. I kinda sorta… Well, you don’t see it?”

Kurtis shook his head and Fallyn narrowed her eyes.

“Out with it,” Matt said, a bit more gruffly than he would have liked.

“Um. Touch the door?”

What now? In a heartbeat, Matt was standing next to Val. He forced a smile to his face, an apology for his tone.

Val backed up and Vanna Whited at the door, beaver glued to her flight suit pant leg.

“Okay…” Matt grumbled, reaching for the knob.

A window flashed up in front of him. He jumped back as if hit by a static shock. It was something in between his menus and the pop-up that asked if he wanted to resurrect. It followed him, as he stepped aside.

‘Welcome to The Parthenon,’ it read. ‘This ancient building is tragically sinking. Mysteries await below, but will soon be lost forever. If you wish to proceed, continue through the door. Be warned: all those who enter will be afflicted by Dry Drowning (-1 all primary stats per second). Debuff may only be removed by challenge completion or death. Attempts remaining: 1/1. Do you accept these conditions? Failure to accept will restrict entry.’

“Is this a freaking alien disclaimer?” Matt said.

“I’m more concerned that it merits numbered attempts,” Fallyn said, “and we only get one.”

Kurtis looked up at the ceiling and breathed in. “I accept.”

“Us too!” Val said.

Matt and Fallyn muttered their agreement. Then Matt stepped back to the door and pulled. It flung open and a recorder version of the penny-whistle solo, from My Heart Will Go On, poured through. He scrunched his brows and turned back to the group.

“What’s our lowest stat?” Matt asked.

“A thousand if you haven’t put any points in there,” Kurtis replied quickly.

“Mine are split between Health and Stamina,” Matt said. “And then those 10 for my glasses. I figured more health with tanking. My mana’s still at 1000. But that’s okay right?”

“If you don’t want to heal,” Kurtis said.

Shit.“What about potions?”

“Think we each have a few. But the debuff is reducing the size of the well we pour them into. When it’s small enough or gone…” Kurtis spread his hands.

Shit. “Okay, well, my health is 3200, so I’ve got just over 50 minutes for that,” Matt said, doing the math. “But I’ll be out of Stamina in half an hour.”

The recorder music continued on a loop. That was going to get annoying real fast.

“My health won’t last that long,” Kurtis said. “It’s only at 2150.”

“2000!” Val said. “I’ve been kinda spreading the points around.”

“Twenty minutes,” said Fallyn quietly, tucking brown waves behind one ear. “I only have twenty minutes.”

Matt matched Fallyn’s icy determination. “Start interface timer,” he commanded, “twenty minutes.” Then Matt proceeded down the stairs.