“What is it now?” Apprentice Hazel yelled, tossing her hands in the air as Matt’s group approached.

It had taken four hours to hike back from the dark cave—a hike that had started as a run. The damn zombie squirrels had cleared out, but Matt didn’t want to take any chances. They would have run-walked more, but he worried about encountering monsters—or worse—on empty stamina.

“We’re coming as fast as we can!” Val yelled.

“Well, hurry, hurry!” Hazel held up a hand to shield against the sun.

There we no couches today, just scrub grass under her Mary Janed feet. Her shoes were red like her dress. A tiny violin appeared with a puff of smoke. She coughed as a gong sounded, and then screeched a minuscule bow across the strings.

“Well, you get the idea,” Hazel said, disappearing the instrument.

“We’re here!” Val said.

“Took ya long enough.” Hazel set her hands on her waist

“Spelunker Leroy sent us,” Fallyn said. Then her eyes took on a far-off gaze.

“Spelunker Leroy sent us?” Matt echoed. The mountain pass blurred.

“Oh, yeah…” the Apprentice said. “Haven’t heard from him in a while. But didn’t I send you to explore the meadow, didn’t I? What do you have to report?”

“Leroy is trapped—”

“Yes, yes.” Hazel waved a dismissive hand.

“Can you help—”

“Later. Tell me what you found.”

Jeez, this woman.

Giving in, Matt described the scene. “The wiggly vines were everywhere. So were the zombie squirrels. And then three wacky waving inflatable tube men popped up.”

“Ah…” the Apprentice said slowly. “That is an interesting development.” The middle-aged woman paused, thinking. Then she smacked her red lips together. “Well alright,” she said, waving a hand.

Then ‘1,296,000 XP’ appeared in white text and the blur started to fade.

“Wait! Can you help Leroy?”

The blur snapped back into place.

“How is old Leroy doin’?” she responded.

“Well, he’s trapped in a cave. Trapped by the gravemist?”

“Well, that’s not good!” She rolled her eyes.

“He said you were working on a potion that could help get him out?”

“I was… I am… I did... Well…” Hazel trailed off.

Matt waited, unsure if she was waiting for a prompt.

“See,” she continued, “I made a tonic with the apples you collected. But it may be a teeny bit unstable.” Her voice went up an octave and she pinched the air to emphasize how small. “Just a teeny bit.”

“Can we use it to help him?” Matt pressed. It was like pulling teeth.

“You could try…” She hesitated. “I do need to test it. Hm… Alright, a test it is.”

With a puff of smoke and the sound of a gong, she held up a juice box with a clip art apple on the front.

“That’s the tonic?” Matt said, unable to keep the skepticism from his voice.

“Well, of course it is, silly! Now, I’ll send you off with a bunch of these. They last for, say, two to fifteen minutes.”

That’s quite a range…

Matt flinched as the carton she was holding and a slew of others rapid-fired to his inventory. The woman brushed her hands against each other when it was done.

“Now,” Hazel said, holding up a sheet of paper that came from nowhere. “You’ll need to give this to Leroy too. It’s just a standard disclaimer. Make sure he reads it first.”

She folded the page in half, pinching along the seam. Then she flicked it to him. It hovered for a moment in front of his chest and then shrunk, diverting down to his inventory.

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“That’s it,” she said. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

The world unblurred.

“Let’s go,” Fallyn said softly, nodding back into the mountain pass.

They were well into the gravemist when Val got curious and started to read. In retrospect, Matt was surprised it took that long. “Vomiting, bleeding out your eyeballs, loss of sensation in your fingers. This all sounds terrible!”

Matt shrugged.

“We didn’t get one of these when Murl dosed us!” Val pointed at the page, eyes going wide. “It says here loss of taste. Did I lose that? Guys, can I taste?”

Matt shared a glance with Fallyn.

“Matt, what color are my eyes?” Val asked, stretching the skin out and getting close.

“Uh, brown?”

“Does my tongue look weird?” She stuck it out. “Aaaa.”

“I’m sure you’re fine, Valkyrie,” Matt said.

“Ya never know. We didn’t even really eat those things at Murl’s. Maybe that did something weird! Maybe I’m gonna keel over in two minutes—mysteriously.” She wiggled ten fingers for emphasis.

“If that happens,” Kurtis said, “I can promise there’s a 30% chance that I’ll catch you.”

“Only 30?!”

Kurtis spread his hands and shrugged. “I can guarantee zero, if certainty makes you more comfortable.” He grinned and swished his tail.

Val crossed her arms and kept walking.

She did have a point though. Matt hadn’t even considered that Murl’s foods could have had side effects.

No, he told himself. Don’t get yourself worked up. There was a notification saying what it did. It would have said if there was anything else. Right? Matt reached up to brush back his curls but awkwardly encountered his hat; he wasn’t used to wearing it yet.

Why did she have to put that in his head? Matt’s laundry pile of worries was big enough. Were they leveling fast enough to not get deleted, to make it to the contest? Could they win? If not, then what? They were 18% from Level 10. And then there’d be specialization…

What if I choose wrong? What if it’s not enough?

Matt’s stomach tightened. The worries sat atop a mountain of grief that he kept trying to shove down. It felt like a smoldering volcano, threatening to erupt.

One foot in front of the other. You can do this, he told himself. Matt exhaled slowly, glancing up at the chalk outline of two moons in the blue sky.

“Left to right,” Fallyn instructed, snapping Matt from his thoughts.

Three zombie alpacas snarled, straight ahead. The left one was missing a leg and half its sombrero.

Matt charged in.

###

Their second morning in the writhing neon meadow started much the same as their first. They emerged from the white canvas tent to sunbeams streaming through light fog, gravemist swirling around their ankles.

Matt had wanted to continue to the cave the previous evening, but logic had prevailed. Fallyn was right about the timing, of course, and rest XP was too valuable to risk missing out on. Matt just wanted—needed—to keep going. It ate at him not knowing what level everyone else was. He hoped they were going fast enough and he couldn’t be sure.

So, starting out that morning, Matt pushed their pace to a stride reminiscent of the gaggle of housewives he’d see on Saturdays in his neighborhood. Of course, he didn’t know they were housewives. They just seemed the part with heavy makeup, the newest yoga clothes, and tiny weights or travel mugs pumping. If Matt was casting The Real Housewives of Toronto, they’d be it.

The pumping does kind of help, he admitted silently, swishing his arms.

The squirming tendrils didn’t seem so bad anymore, but Matt shuddered as his knuckles swung forward. The squirrels had shredded them too many times. Fuck, I hate those squirrels.

After a few minutes, Val copied him. Then Kurtis shrugged and started pumping his arms too. Fallyn was the only holdout, but she still kept pace.

It took them another 45 minutes to reach the cave. At least this time Matt knew where he was going and those damn squirrels weren’t on his tail. Matt kept a look out for them, but stayed to the cave-side of the meadow, away from where they’d aggroed the day before.

“Here we go,” Matt said, as they came upon the cave mouth.

“We made it!” Val cheered, arms raised.

Matt stepped into the darkness. It was amazing how little sunshine permeated the cave. It was like the darkness of the entrance came out and swallowed the light whole. He felt a hand on his back and jumped.

“Just me,” Fallyn said.

“I’ll follow the right wall,” Matt acknowledged, hand gliding over the rough rock.

A minute later they were at the ledge and Matt had smacked his foot against it. His rubbery Crocks absorbed most of the impact.

“Watch your toes,” Matt cautioned. “Going right.”

Matt slowly proceeded around the corner, towards a growing spot of dim light. Their human train slinkied up to Spelunker Leroy and huddled with the man around his candle lamp.

“I was beginning to fear you would not return,” Leroy admitted.

“Aww, we’d never do that.” Val made a heart with her middle and index fingers.

“Were you successful?” Leroy hurriedly asked. “Did you get the tonic? Will you help me escape?”

“Yes, we were,” Matt said and the familiar blur returned.

“Thank the gods!” Leroy said. “Well, do you have it?”

“Um, she said we have to give you this first?” Matt retrieved the folded page from his inventory.

“What’s this?” the man muttered. “Well, I’ll be. Hazel covering her ass in her old age.”

Old age? She’d looked to be in her fifties by Matt’s guess.

“Right, well, this says lasts for two to fifteen minutes.” He rolled his eyes. “We’ll ignore the rest. You’ll have to toss me new ones as we go. I’ll take the first one now though. Let’s practice a toss.”

“Toss?”

“Yeah, you know.” Leroy mimed and underhand throw. “Toss.”

“Okay…” Matt said, retrieving a juice box and lobbing it at the man.

“You got it! Let’s go!”

The cave returned to normal and Leroy and his lantern dashed towards the entrance, leaving Matt in the dark. Then a new, paler, white glow illuminated the cave. Matt was glowing. They were all glowing. Matt could feel the tingling pressure in his core.

The notifications flew as the tingles spread. Matt’s lips felt numb. ‘918,000 XP,’ ‘Level 10,’ ‘5 Stat Points,’ ‘1 Skill Point,’ ‘Choose Specialization,’ ‘Escort Spelunker Leroy to safety: 0/1.’

Matt’s Aspects Menu opened on its own as the white glow faded. Two gem options shone at the bottom, dark red and blue. The black of the window was indiscernible from the darkness of the cave.

Then Matt heard it, a yell from a distance that was probably near the cave mouth: “Leeeeeeeeeerooooooooooy!”

Shit.