Parson was kinda depressed. Parson was 8 now, and as usual Percilla was popular with the boys. However, it seemed she had grown out of Parson. She was perfectly happy to ham it up with all the kids in class and he was just… cringy.

But Parson wasn’t done with just the single blow! He would come back stronger and better and destroy all who wronged him! Maybe kinda… Who was he kidding? He wasn't any hero! He was a small village loser and would always be. He was a nobody and Percilla was a shining jewel.

Parson looked back, he was so embarrassed. He couldn’t believe that his idiot previous self had thought it would be a great idea to attack slimes to level up when he was a child? How stupid was he? He couldn’t even gain [XP] yet! He didn’t even have any access to the system. Sure he could open the [Menu] but it was all greyed out. At first he saw the [Log Out] button and worried about it. But then he had asked his mom about it when she found out.

Welp it turns out that the gods are more grecian asshole than conceptual do gooders, at least mostly. The [Log Out] button is a cosmic joke of the gods… at least with this system. There are other [System]s that don’t have it and still others that do but it works differently. Now, don’t get it wrong, while they were out in the boondocks of a village on the boondocks of a planet they still knew what was what. With their access to the multiverse they could easily realise that the [Log Out] button was fake, or at least not the VR equivalent. The only people it bothered were people like him, which was the point, it made them go crazy.

Parson still couldn’t handle how cringy he was as a kid. I mean, what kind of hero was he going to be? Maybe one of those farming hero MCs that defeat the demon king in a farming competition. No, while they did have demon kings, he was not the hero, he wasn’t even a side kick, heck he couldn’t even survive the sidelines. No, he was a nobody and that’s the way it should be.

Parson kicked a rock, it didn’t go very far. This just pissed him off more. So he went up to it and kicked it again. He did this a few times, he wasn’t doing very well. Finally he got fed up, he set it up right, put everything he had into the kick, and hit the back of one of the older kids’ heads. That was probably not good. It didn’t help that the rock seemed to be the one hurt and crying out in pain in this situation…

Parson quickly turned and ran away, those people that think he should apologize don’t realize the beating he is about to find himself in. These people fight monsters regularly. They could smash steal and cut iron barehanded. Only the system knows how they can use bronze as a material to make weapons from.

None of that mattered to Parson, what mattered to Parson at that moment, was running the heck out of here. It did not go well, I mean, he mentioned the super strength right? So they also have super speed, he did not…

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

He was grabbed by the back of the neck and lifted up. “Here, you dropped this.” Said the older kid. He was a [Purple Mage] and creepy as all get out. His mother took him to a [Witch] once, she was nice, gave him candy. This guy was way creepier, and he dealt with only curses too. Well, he had other magic, but curses were clearly evil enough. Like shouldn’t he be burned at the stake or something, what were people doing?

After placing the rock into his hand, the kids left laughing. Parson just stood there dumbfounded, but he wasn’t one to question why he wasn’t given the mother of all beatings. So he just ran away, with his new pet rock…

Traveling around the village he found some more trouble, adventurers to do. But he quickly became bored again. It just wasn’t the same without Percilla. She had always been there and now she was gone. It hurt, but he deserved it. What could he do? He was just a village hick afterall.

“You’re really still moping aren’t you? Come on! I just asked Derek what’s going on. I mean he’s ten now! He got an awesome class called [Strongman] too! I mean come on!” Said Percilla.

Parson was glad she was back… until she mentioned Derek, her former stalker. Now she went to him ever since he got his class. It was infuriating.

Percilla gave him a jumping hug and slammed into his back, nope still nothing give it a few more years. “Oh come on stop moping. Hey, hey, wanna save the princess?” Parson just grew red with embarrassment, maybe a little anger, honestly she was all sweaty.

“Fine, if you can deign to play with a commoner like me, then I shall entertain the princess.” Said Parson, with a little bit of happiness growing inside his belly. Ha, take that Derek!

So the two ran off to see what kind of trouble they could get themselves into…

All the while not noticing the two great evils that observed their entire proceedings… “Kukuku...” “I told you to stop that! It’s creepy and sounds evil.” Said Percilla’s mom.

“He… He… He… He...” Said Parson’s mom.

“Ok, that doesn’t sound much better. No, that actually sounds worse, stop that. Can’t you laugh like a normal person? Why do you sound like the evil witch from the stories that’s about to curse the whole village?” Said Percilla’s mom.

“Fufufufu...” Said Parson’s mom.

“Ok, I guess that could work. Still, stop that. And stop hinting at your son to hurry up and marry Percilla! She’s only eight, they need at least 27 years before they have their first date. And then it will be another dozen before they give me two dozen grandkids!” Said Percilla’s mom, she sounds like she is having an identity crisis… but also wants more kids…

“... Ha! And who said I was jumping the gun on grankids?” Said Parson’s mom.

“I’m not trying to get them to have any… It’s too soon! Just that when they do, they need to have dozens so I can give them all the love...” Said Percilla’s mom.