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Pink Mage
169, Truffles on legs...

169, Truffles on legs...

Micky didn’t trust the man to actually give him trustworthy info. Or someone this dumb to actually comprehend how deep of the shit they were in. He was just lucky that most of the nobles with a stick up their butt could have it removed by surgeon pain and nurse blood sweat and tears. Few, very few of the nobles that Micky had to deal with were actually this stupid.

On any given day, commoners were actually the dumber ones. In all shapes and forms. Now ironically, it was usually the commoners, or the ‘jumped up commoners’ that actually caused problems. He very quickly learned this man’s genealogy as the threats slash please came out of his mouth. He was a third gen of the useless silk pants branch of a lesser knight’s noble house. Basically they were just above your average citizen, and not the middle class citizen either.

Somehow, this dipshit thought that brought him some great entitlement in spite of the vast majority of grunts out nobling him. Micky didn’t understand it, but it was always a special type of stupidity that made these types anyway.

Anyway, as uncooperative as he was Micky was impressed with how much he had lied to his own face. Luckily Micky already knew where the jail was since he had designed and built the place. He did not expect this minor coup and major brainfart to last very long. However, he did need to make sure that things didn’t start moving until the units had their commanding officers back.

Micky found it almost funny how the soldiers simply accepted the minor coup. Though he supposed, it was likely more due to the fact that it was so brilliantly simple that they simple accepted this stupidity. Every soldier knows bureaucracy. And every soldier knows what it is like to be shafted by bureaucracy. So when their commanding officers were taken away on jumped up charges for no apparent reason they didn’t bat an eye. Funnily enough Micky had first hand experience with this, and he was relatively reasonably liked. Prin of course, took the cake for being idolized in command. Nothing like drinking and whoring with the boys to make the girl cherished amongst the crowd. She also knew how to treat the girls, and how to get the girls just inebriated enough to loosen up around the boys. And don’t get him started on the boys that liked boys and girls that liked girls…

Micky shook his head. This was going to be a long day. He had so many people to kill, many of which by his own hands. So Micky cast his [Sleep] spell, a derivative of the calming effect of his [Charm] spell. After, the incident, Micky wanted to isolate out the various compulsions so that things like that wouldn’t happen again. Not like they would have worked out had they not happened exactly as they did, but Micky just didn’t want to be in that position again, ever.

So Micky made the derivatives. And this one was working like a charm. Mags was holding him steady with her arm around his neck, one arm, in and affectionate, gentle, caring, sleeper hold. Probably had nothing to do with it. He added a few more stacks anyway, didn’t want the man to wake up any time soon.

While doing that Micky opened up the man’s desk drawers. He found what he was looking for and placed it on the desk. He then placed the man leaned over onto his desk and placed a quill in his hand. Now the scene looked like he had drunk one too many while overworking, instead of magiced asleep. Probably would make the alarm sound slower, he just needed a small amount of time. Hopefully it covered all the loopholes enough. Micky didn’t know the man so who knows if he was a day drinker or an overworker. This hits both, so hopefully it gets moderate results.

Taking the keys and Mags Micky left the office. Luckily it was a dipshit entitled paperpusher. While they had great power over those lower in command their powers were non existent over those with power over them. Mags could go toe to… claw? With the best regular soldiers but not quietly or efficiently. Though this fortification had a minimal amount of those in the first place for obvious reasons.

But the prison was going to be the one location that there would be a lot of them, as well as several rankers. Especially after it’s been filled to overflowing already.

Heading over liked he owned the place, which he did, Micky quickly found the prisons. They were deceptively easy to miss as they were the most unassuming building between several much larger buildings.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

Walking slowly but with purpose. It was basically how he had to do everything since he took command so he just faked important business like he did when he went out to take a piss. Not that elefiating himself wasn’t important business, but it wasn’t militarily important and the soldiers didn’t need to know exactly what he was about to do. So that’s what he did, he walked like he had to piss, maybe slightly constipated while he was at it.

He soluted the soldiers at the guardhouse like a common messenger. Kinda stupid in his centurion armor, but he already soluted them. They returned the gesture and allowed him through.

This was the interim holding cells near the guard barracks and not the true prison. Not that they really had a true prison, just a punishment yard. Something too small for what was to come.

“Prisoner transfer for prisoner 442 to 151.” Micky said. The man looked at him oddly but it was the actual doctrine for prisoner transfers. It was just the way that stuck up assholes did it as the lazy grunts usually did it by name so if they didn’t know who the fuck 442 was they could just yell down the hall.

This was also why they just waved Micky back and let him handle it. Micky wanted to throttle them for how easy they were making this. Then again, if they weren’t this stupid he wouldn’t have to do what he was doing in the first place. So many heads were going to roll, he wasn’t even sure if it would be easiest to just kill off everyone in camp that wasn’t one of the retreating soldiers.

Micky crept out of sight quickly and making sure that there were no patrols hushed the first assholes that almost ruined his plan. Very quickly they realised he snuck in, instead of coming in here with the proper pomp and thunder he should have. Just as quickly they were all out and ready to bash in some heads. Micky made sure they at least attempted to take out the soldiers non lethally though. The commanding officers were fair game however.

Soon the camp was in chaos. At least it wasn’t the burny kind. Very quickly that was nixed and both sides worked to put out fires. But that didn’t change as much as it should. Of course, the garrison was vastly outnumbered and reinforcements were constantly pouring through the gates at a constant rate. Especially now that they weren’t getting fleeced at the gate. Micky could have seen it as checking to make sure no enemy spies snuck in. But he doubted they were that thorough, or good…

Soon a small troop of rankers were marching on the commander’s, what was supposed to be Micky’s, office, the command center of the fortified camp. These were loyal guards, so Micky didn’t even try and had them chopped up. It didn’t hurt that they were half decently above the normal rank and file, just not by much.

It didn’t take long to find the commander who Micky put in charge packing as surprising amount of silver an jewels. Not that Micky believed the large woman had the [STR] stat for carrying it. Because the rankers here didn’t have the stat for it either.

Micky smashed his axe/hammer staff on the desk. It was a good desk so he didn’t do it too hard, it would be his soon. “And what the hell are you doing?” Asked Micky.

“Do you know who I am?” Asked the commander. He was some nobody from the nobles faction Micky was coerced into putting in charge. Micky was pretty sures he called in most of the favors he had plus slept with a few people that were unique enough to want it. Even then Micky wasn’t sure how this nobody had managed enough clout.

“Of fucking course I do, I’m your commanding officer!” Micky screamed. Micky was exasperated. Granted most of these nobodies were people he didn’t know, or would care to. Anybody important enough for his attention was already brought to his attention. Whether it was the dukes bastard daughter that was acting a grunt to get her battle lust on or the possible heir to a barony attempting to ladder climb with achievements. Everybody of note was taken note of. Which meant that the people he didn’t weren’t worth noting. That included the minor [Hero]es that were running around.

“Oh, oh, commander Micky, I uh, didn’t see you there. What brings the pleasure of you gracing my office today?” Asked the camp commander.

“What brings me to grace my own office is the commanded retreat I ordered! And then you fleeced every fucking soldier of thier coin, and then arrested all the damn officers! The fuck kind of coup were you trying to pull? Did you think the king would be happy with you if you took their own fucking military?” Said Micky. The ironic thing is, that had the coup been successful the king actually wouldn’t have cared, as far as the nobility was concerned. But it was not, so that’s water under the bridge.

One of the rankers pulled up a draft proposal off the desk. “Hey, don’t touch that!” Yelled the young but well fed woman. Very much, too well fed.

“Is this a draft for, farmland? What the hell? You’re trying to build farmland now while the enemy is literally at the gate. The hell?” Micky said as he looked at the draft proposal.

“I will have you know that I was trained in city management and planning. You can’t have a city, or an army for that matter, without food.” Stated the woman.

Micky smacked his face with his hand. That explained it, this was a very special kind of idiot. She didn’t know what the fuck she was doing so she went back on what she was trained on. Skimming everybody that goes through the gate and city planning… a fortified temporary camp...