Micky sat down, now that things had settled for just a second he had enough time to actually activate his pending specialization.

“Don’t worry limp staff, I’ll wait for you. If a [Pink Mage] thinks they can beat me with one spec up then I’m going to enjoy this.”

[Congratulations! Recalibrating...]

[Congratulations! You Have Reached The First Milestone Of [Pink Mage]!]

[[Pink Mage] Specialization Is Calculating, Please Be Patient With Us.]

[Specialization [Apprentice Pink Mage] Calibrating]

That was disappointing. The Apprentice spec. just doubled down on your class. But as devastating as that was… Micky had a bitch to trounce. He didn’t know what it was but she got right under his skin. She was practically a female Bob. It pissed him off to no end.

[Congratulations on your two new skills]

[Calculating...]

[New Skill [Passive: Party Baby]]

[New Spell [Accelerate]]

Micky pulled up the descriptions to see what they were, even though he already knew.

Passive: Party Baby: You no longer suffer an [XP] penalty from being the lowest DMG dealer in a party. As long as you enter combat you will receive the full [XP] allotment.

This was a watered down but similar skill to the skill given to healers and other ‘pure’ support classes. It didn’t help him any though, he still needed to deal DMG.

Accelerate: Control of inertia and its applied effects.

This was a powerful buff/debuff when used to its full effect and mastered. Unfortunately it was just before a fight so he would have to rely on his [Charm] and [Enrage], but really Squishy. Of course he didn’t think this half-ork realized just how powerful his slime was going to be after he buffered her out the wazoo.

“Are you finally ready [Pink Mage]? Come on and get some real action! Or to you want to keep playing with your limp staff?” Said the Half-ork that still hadn’t introduced herself.

“Fuck you!” Micky said and then [Charmed] her. He of course knew that it wouldn’t be all that effective but if he waited for the fight to start and her to charge him it wouldn’t effect her at all. Then he buffed himself and Squishy with [Enrage] stacks until they reached the limit. He could feel himself wanting to jump into the fight but he couldn’t do that. So he tried out his new spell.

Luckily for Micky, offensive language did not help one break the [Charmed] state. Unfortunately the half-ork was a destructive freight train that was off its rails and headed towards anything and everything. This of course meant that the small scullery was getting smashed up. But these two did not care about that.

It was about time Micky tested his new spell. So he [Accelerated] himself. When he cast the spell he felt there were four basic things he could do. One was make things faster. Then he could do the opposite and make things slower, basically cobbling a [Decelerate] together. Then he could make the effect of inertia more or less effective. But he knew that there was much more to the spell then meets the eye. He just couldn’t figure it out yet.

So now that he was accelerated he did the same thing to Squishy. He should not have done that. She was now bouncing around uncontrollably, mostly into the half-ork. Micky then cast the other effect onto her decreasing the effect of inertia on squishy. This was a good thing considering she was actually taking DMG from the first effect.

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Of course now she was seeing how far she could push this. Now the scullery was truly and thoroughly trashed. Micky was busy dodging these two terrors and Olga just stood stoically like an immovable piece of furniture. Her eyes, however, were smoking.

“I’m going to kill you all!” Screamed the half-ork as she smashed apart another table. Of course this table had already looked cobbled together, so something told Micky that this was not uncommon. “I’m going to make you cry a cup and then drink your tears!”

Really? Was she some two bit villain? Or maybe the troll from a children’s tale that would eat them and turn their bones into bread? Maybe the giant that was going to squish them and drink their blood?

Micky cast [Accelerate] in reverse onto the half-ork. First starting with the effects of inertia, then [Deceleration]. Then dodge, stack onto Squishy, dodge Squishy. At least he could feel she was having fun bouncing around and smashing things through the bond. She loved the feel of things breaking and popping as she squished them to death under her inertia. She only hated it when something actually resisted her…

Maybe Micky should be worried about that? Definitely needed to be worried about that. Micky felt a cold breeze between his legs. At least she didn’t mind having a spring bored. Which was why he took his staff and smashed her into the half-ork. He could feel her glee at the impending squishing.

The half ork was being smashed around at this point but she wasn’t really taking any damage. Just getting a little bruised up. With her class and her stats and lvl, slimes just weren’t really a threat. But Squishy was pissing her off to no end. So Micky cast a few [Enrage] stacks to increase that effect. Now she was flailing and smashing around uselessly at the slime. Almost as uselessly as the slimes attacks were.

But this wasn’t helping, so Micky kicked a rolling pin that had fell from somewhere under her feet. She very quickly tripped and fell. Then he grabbed a rope he found and started tying her up before she could get her wits about her. He first grabbed her right arm, wrapped a loop around it them did the same with her left leg. Then he brought it all together.

She of course did not like this “Let me go or I’ll kill you! You limp dicked rapist bum fucker!” Of course Micky completely ignored her.

He then used what little strength and mostly leverage to tighten the rope and bring the to limbs together. She flaid at him uselessly. Every time Micky would just dodge out of the way, she actually seemed slow with all the stacks of [Accelerate] that Micky had on at the moment. He then grabbed her left hand and looped the rope around it. He slowly cranked that back into the other two tied limbs.

Squishy wasn’t helping, she was too hopped up and just kept bouncing around the scullery smashing things. He could feel her glee, almost like a cackle, through the connection. It was unfortunately infectious for Micky, but he had a job to do and he had to focus.

Unfortunately, the [Enrage] stacks were helping his strength so he couldn’t [Cleanse] them. They were also unhelpful to the ork spawn so he left them as well, even though it made his work harder. Finally when she could only move one leg, Micky easily looped the rope around that and cranked it into the bunch.

Of course now the ork spawn was fully focused on breaking free. So her arms bulged as she started trying to rip the rope off her. And she was succeeding, as her arms bulged there was a snap and a piece of the rope fell off making it easier to escape the rest. Until Micky cleansed the stacks of [Enraged].

Now she still had stacks of natural [Bloodlust] left but she couldn’t use them to break free from the rope. Makes one wonder what the rope’s original purpose was. Probably just used to hold up large pieces of meat, nothing vicious cruel, or involving black leather and a cat o’ nine tails.

Micky grabbed his staff and planted it next to the half-ork, his knee on her back so she couldn’t lift herself up. “You lost brat, now you have to pay up.” Said Olga.

“No! I’ll tear this limp dick apart! I’ll eat his babies in front of him and rape his family! I’ll...” Said the ogre spawn.

“It ain’t good for a wife to eat her own babies.” Said Olga.

“What!” “What?” Said the two kids at the same time.

“You know what a duel means for an Ork, win or lose. And you I just told what a duel is in orkish culture. I mean literally, the entire story of how I met my husband.” Olga said incredulously. “Were you not understanding the words coming from my lips? Or do you ignore me like my children do? That’s a good quality in a son-in-law, act just like my children, makes the transition easier. I bet it’s the tusks, makes me hard to understand even though I take the extra effort to enunciate myself unlike you humans with your drawl and terrible pronunciation, honestly.”

“No but I, but we...” Started Micky.

“It doesn’t count ma! It doesn’t, he cheated! He isn’t, we aren’t, we can’t! We just can’t!” Said the confused half-ork.

“And why can’t you eh? I want grandchildren that ain’t basterds! And when your brother knocked up that foreign princess don’t count. That child was adopted into a noble family and ain’t ours. And so what if he cheated? He won! As a fookin [Pink Mage]! All because you underestimated him!

Don’t worry I did to your fop of a father when I first saw him. I thought I was ganna pop that cherry of a pretty boy between my thighs and be done with it. But no! He cheated and won, and now I have you! And I don’t regret a thing child! Except my dearth of grandbabies I can hug and spoil! So you take that dick and you fill yourself with his seed every night you hear me?” Said Olga.

“Dad wasn’t a fop! He was a handsome rogue. I want a handsome rogue! Not this, whatever this is! A little stringy man child that hasn’t even grown hair between his legs!” Said the half-ork.

“I have indeed grown hair down there! Don’t think I’m a kid!” Said Micky.

“Not helping!” Hissed the half-ork.

“Then stop dissing me!” Hissed Micky back. Still riding on top of the half-ork.

“Now look Princess, your father was a fop through and through. In fact he was more a gangly pretty boy then this one here.-” “He isn’t that pretty!” “-And he only turned out like that because I made him like that! Now he’s enjoying the fruits of my efforts with all the attention of the women I won’t allow him to have. Five wives is plenty.” Said Olga, ignoring, or more like cataloging the half-ork’s outburst.

“I’m not, he’s not, and that’s final!” Said Princess.

“Five wives?” Whispered Micky, confused, and if he had to admit to himself, a little impressed the man still lived.