Now before you become judgmental there is something you should know. Throwing things is basically the town sport. I once saw old man Harrison throw an extra rotten egg he found in the back corner of his barn at a tax collector at 100 paces. Hit em’ square in the back of the head. Tax collector didn’t realize a thing an’ thought the birds flying over head had done it. Next month a law was passed in the ‘Estate’s that all birds must lay eggs in nests. I wonder which guy’s job is to make sure there are no violaters?
Now there’s another thing you should know, that the villagers make their problems go away by throwing rocks at it. We might be a superstitious sort but, most problems can be solved by throwing rocks at it. Monster? Throw a rock, didn’t run away? Throw more rocks and maybe make them bigger, and or grab some friends. Don’t like someone? Throw rocks at them and they will go away. Superstitious and something has got you scared? Throw a rock at it and the illusion will disappear, making the barn or whatever appear where it should be. Tripped on a rock? Throw that rock immediately over your shoulder to hit the devil that tripped you in the eye.
So getting ONE tomato in the back was just ‘Relatively’ disagreeable as far as the villagers were concerned. Even still, Micky decided it was time to hide out of town for the rest of the day. First, before anybody gets the idea to make Micky ‘Go away’. Second before any of the big guys with a lot of [STG] or [DEX] gets the idea to make Micky ‘Go away’.
Sure a guy with a high [AGL] could peg a fast one into Micky’s back at 100 paces or make a rock cut like a knife but… those ain’t really rocks, what is that big guy picking up? Now that’s a [Rock]... Ok his friend is picking up a [Boulder] time to really book it. Not that he expected them to throw it, but Micky got the message.
Micky ran into the house saw his Ma and gave her a drive by hug and kiss. “Hi Ma, bye Ma. Going out fishen!” he said as he grabbed his gear. “Ok” she got out to his departing back.
Micky headed over to the creek and followed it down. If you went past the downed tree skeleton around the second bend and took a right at the big rock there is a small offshoot. This was another creek that fed into ‘The Creek’. Micky followed that down a few, and finally he was at his secret watering hole.
This is where he goes if he doesn’t want to be disturbed. It was down in a bowl with high walls so monsters didn’t bother it, but was wide enough and with enough of a lip that he could sit on the side and fish. He decided to forgo the [Charm] treatment this time around. Didn’t want to get back too early.
He was laying on his back holding his fishing pole with his legs when they came. “Found you, trouble maker.”
“Famous last words, you know?” said Micky
“You know the towns been looking for you. I bet they’d love me for letting them know where to give em a piece of your mind?”
“Psht, they’d probably woop you’re ass too Jim. What the hell were you doing? I go out on the biggest adventure of my life and I had to do it with Pinky!” Micky said. Micky stood up and Jimmy gave Micky a ‘Man hug’ and slapped his back real hard. Micky winced, well that spot was red now. He couldn’t go back to laying down (Thanks Jim!) so he sat down with his fishing pole.
“I heard about that, the entire town is pissed.” Jimmy
“Yup”
“You went and found and explored a [Dungeon].” Jimmy
“Yup”
“And you named it ‘Pep’s Place’?”
“Yup”
“I’m disappointed in you. I mean you could have named it ‘The cave of abyss!’ or ‘Death’s doorstep’ or ‘Enter and never return.’ But you named it after your cat!” Jimmy said, Micky at least felt a little sheepish at that one. “I knew you were in love with your cat an all but really? ‘Pep’s Place’?” Jimmy said
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“You had to have been there, Pepperoni saved our lives more times then I can count. She deserves her own dungeon. And it didn’t seem all that dangerous. And, and, well we couldn’t think of anything good! Ok, there, I said it.” Micky
“I heard you got [Loot]. I hope you’re going to have a good name for your [Staff]” said Jim.
“Don’t worry, my name for my staff is Epic” Micky said… He just had to think of it now. Of course he had forgot to name his staff. It had to have a name that would instill fear in his enemies. It would be a name that would haunt the world. It was a name that would be known by every [Bard] the world over! He was just sure of it.
“So Bob really did dump you in a cave and leave you for [Dead].”
“Yup”
“Really, back to one word answers?”
“Yup”
“Yup, is the universal answer isn’t it?”
“Nope”
“Haha” Jimmy laughed dryly.
“So, Bob’s a jerk and a coward.” Jimmy said.
“Yup”
“The village thinks you stole the dungeon from him.” Jimmy.
“Yup”
“Even though a [Warden] and an [Kingsmen] back you up?” Jimmy.
“You heard about that too hu? Yup”
“Not hard to hear, just have to piece the real story together from the rumors. Now that’s the [Feat].”
“Yup”
“So, since you stole the [Dungeon] from Bob and the village and the [Baron] and everybody else, they’re all pissed at you.” Jimmy.
“Yup”
“Even though it’s a [System] recognized achievement with the title and everything, sworn by a [Warden] and a [Kingsmen], on the town map it’s still going to be called ‘Bob’s cave’.” Jimmy.
“Figures, but the [System] don’t care, Ew is that a snake?! Nevermind just a stick. Yeah, but can the [Village] make the [System] change its name? No. It’s ‘Pep’s Place’ and every adventurer that goes there will know it as soon as they [Analyze] it. The [Village] is just fooling themselves if they think otherwise. And everyone will know that me and Pinky found that [Dungeon] and explored it fair and square. And that the village and Bob are just [Achievement] [Thief]s”
“Right on." Jimmys said. *Fist bump* *Audience Cringe* *Uncaring Author*
“So where were you in all this? Don’t tell me you missed my epic adventure because of bad timing?” asked Micky
“I was out with my dad doing business. He and my mom aren’t really getting along and, I think it was to ease the transition, also, my dad’s really stressed.” Jimmy said
“Man, that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that.” Micky
“Yup, life sucks, we know this, moving on. What are we doing to Bob?” Jimmy said
“*Sigh*, nothing” Micky said
“Nothing? Come on dude we gotta do something.”
“And you think his mom is going to let us? Seriously? Come on dude, he’s probably living it up because of his devastation at having his achievement stolen from him. We both know that bitch is never going to let it happen.” Micky said.
“Dude!” Jimmy said.
“I know, I know, she’s a good person most of the time, but ergh! I just, really?! Sometimes, just sometimes I want to just beat the shit out of em’ both and leave them for [Dead] somewhere you know?” Micky said.
“Yeah dude, I feel yah.” Jimmy said.
“Remember that time Bob and his cronies gave us matching black eyes on our face? From then on you were a ‘Lefty’ and I was ‘Righty’? And the villagers just told us not to be so energetic?” Micky said.
“Yeah, she told us it was our fault. Apparently it is your fault if someone holds you down for a good punch to the face.” Jimmy said.
“I mean just because we accepted his challenge and then he has cronies jump us from behind. He had been egging us on the whole day. How does that make us the energetic ones? Then beats us over and over again, and the villagers couldn’t stop laughing at us every time we tried to tell someone about it.” Micky said.
“Yeah dude, no doubt.” Micky picked up a rock and skipped it across the pond. He hadn’t really been paying attention because he got a fish. The hook was a carved piece of straight bone with two needle points at the end. A line went through the hole in the middle. It worked but not as well as he’ed like. He pulled the line in and reset the bait.
“So what you going to name the staff?” Jimmy
“Ergh! I don’t know yet OK!” Micky said.