“No! I-Impossible! I can’t…” A girl fell on her knees as the crowd cheered. She was tearing up, with streams falling from her face. I stamped my feet near her, then laughed loudly. “Now, now. Cough up a card from your deck!”

“B-but I spent so many years perfecting my deck. If I mess this up, it could ruin-...”

Lard appeared from my side then laughed deviously. “You challenged us! Any challengers courting death shouldn’t blame us for being rude!”

“Monsters…Truly unbelievable…” she murmured then gave us a card. Judging by the gold lining and shiny appearance, this card could fetch us a fortune.

As I shuffled my ever-increasing deck, I looked over my achievements. Well, Lard’s achievements. I was mostly just following his orders since he couldn’t use magic to use the summoning cards.

After winning a couple of battles, we basically bought the beginner’s deck and gave the guy who borrowed us this deck a generous tip. It seems that my suspicions about Lard’s luck was correct, since we kept cashing in on amazing cards everytime we won.

Just as we were expecting another challenger, one of the staff announced, “It’s getting late and curfew is now in place! I want all students off this hall and into your dorms, now!”

Many of the students groaned and protested, but in the end, they left. Since I was a member of the staff and Lard was technically part of the staff, we were left alone in the hall.

Lard shrugged dust off his shoulders, then remarked, “Fu, I haven’t met such worthy opponents in a very long time. It was too bad they faced me - Vakasa of the Darkness!”

“Yes, yes. From what I could tell, this could get us a few bags of coins… or whatever the Cahalotians use. I’ll split it fifty-fifty, how does that sound?” I proposed once I was done fixing up the deck.

“Wait, what? Are you planning on selling the deck now?” Lard asked.

“Of course. There was no other reason for me to play other than for money…” I answered.

Lard closed his eyes, then mused for a minute. “I have an idea. Why don’t we just sell some of the cards and keep the rest?”

“You want to continue playing?” I pointed out.

“Yes. I get challengers, you get money. Once I get back to Rallas, I would have something to boast to my girlfriend, fu fu fu. Muahahahaha!”

As Lard laughed on his own, I looked back at the times that I would always lose to these sort of games. Well, mostly gambling. It seemed that a thousand years couldn’t change one’s luck, but a fat boy could!

“You got yourself a deal!” I shot my hand out to Lard which he shook.

“Indeed, this would be a fruitful alliance!” Lard proclaimed.

“Until of course, you replace me as teacher of the heroes’ party,” I added, which caused Lard’s mood to plummet. He looked to the side nervously while fiddling with his thumbs.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Ah… about that...” Lard nervously muttered.

“What? Didn’t you want to be a hero of this world or something?” I asked back.

For the first time, I realized that Lard had a serious look in his face. Bags were shown under his eyes, and his hair was messier than usual.

“You see… I thought about that. I mean, I, Vakasa of the Darkness, don’t mind fighting the Demon Lord, but… I…” Lard’s explanation slowly turn into doubtful murmurs.

“You don’t want to?” I asked.

Lard coughed, then simply answered, “Yes.”

“Alright, sure.” I shrugged. Lard looked at me for a solid minute until I raised my head to check if he got frozen in time. I had to make sure time continues as usual sometimes just in case The Abyss managed to sneak upon me.

“Hello?” I waved my hand in front of his face.

“That’s it? Y-You’re not going to try and kill me?” Lard questioned.

“Look, buddy, if I wanted to kill you, I would’ve strangled you a long time ago for being annoying,” I explained.

“But I, Vakasa of the Darkness, have no more use for you… right? I mean, I can do many things like slay hundreds of demons with my innumerable strength…”

“You are somehow useful to me. Remember in that previous city-state we were in? You somehow got me answers I was looking for. Thanks to you, I managed to progress well with researching musclemancy. And now, you’re here making money for me. You’re somehow more useful than I thought. Besides, why would I kill you? Do I seem like that sort of person?” I shot back a question.

“I suppose so… but wait! What about the teacher to the heroes’ party?” he asked.

“I’ll just summon another hero.” I shrugged as looked back to the deck of cards. After a minute of silence, I looked back at Lard. “What?”

“Eh?”

“Huh?”

Lard coughed then clarified, “You can summon another hero?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be able to?” I gave him a rhetoric question.

“In all the books I’ve read, when the hero doesn’t want to do what the summoner does, they try to kill the hero. And they try to brainwash the hero because summoning is only once-in-a-lifetime opportunity… something along those lines,” Lard babbled.

“What kind of crappy books are those? That sounds like a plot line written by amateurs. Listen, we can summon a hero right now.” I packed the cards up and stood up. Lard was going ‘What? Huh? Now?!’ but I ignored him.

Since I was a professor recommended by a master sorcerer, I had access to many parts of the magic academy, including the ritual towers which were usually unused except for delinquent hangout spots. With Lard in tow, I went to the closest ritual tower.

After checking that there were no delinquents hanging around, I locked the tower and walked towards the center. I pulled out the hero summoning scroll which I used to summon Lard a long time ago.

“That’s the thing you used to summon me?” Lard asked.

“Yes. We’ll be following the inscription written in here,” I answered as I waved the scroll around.

“I mean… shouldn’t those things be one-time use and hard to obtain?” Lard mused.

“Oh, I made this in an afternoon. Being undead for a thousand years means that you have a lot of free time, you know?” I sighed.

“A thousand years?! So do you have some kind of secret sect full of your descendants?!” Lard exclaimed.

“Why in The Abyss would I have a sect? Never mind. The last time I used this, it summoned you… twice. So I’ll be using another method,” I explained.

“Hey! Summoning me wasn’t a bad idea!” Lard protested.

“Yet, here we are. Now, shut up and let me concentrate. We’ll be using the new Angolian magic ritual to summon a new hero to replace you.” I began work immediately, using a chalk to draw markings onto the floor. Meanwhile, Lard watched me in silence… not.

“Say, if you could create a summoning magic, does that mean you could send me back?” Lard asked.

“Yes, I can. The summoning magic opens a portal to a random world to kidnap… I mean acquire an unlucky person from, but the return magic will always return the unlucky bastard back to his home. Do you want to return?” I paused in my drawing and looked at Lard.

“No! Absolutely not! You see… that place cannot handle my gloriousness. They reject me - Vakasa of the Darkness! This world is blessed that I, Vakasa of the Darkness, have graced it!” Lard posed, then made a maniacal laugh.

If I had eyes, I would’ve rolled them. I continued drawing the summoning circle while Lard continued to blabber on.

“What kind of hero do you think we’ll summon? Do you think we’ll have those lame ally-of-justice? Probably even a normie. Blah!” Lard crossed his arms and started hurling insults at… whatever ‘normie’ are.

I got up then brushed my hands. “First of all, that black-haired guy in the party is an ally-of-justice so I don’t want two of them running around in this world. Secondly, I’m done with the base of the circle.”

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“Eh? It looks absolutely nothing like the circles I know…” Lard scratched his head.

“You have magic circles in your world?” I asked.

“N-No… I mean… in fiction? Anyway, what is this? I can’t understand it... “ Lard walked around my ritual circle curiously.

“It’s a contract. You see over there? That means ‘I, blank, hereby offer my employment for no pay or whatsoever’. And over here…”

“Wait, what?! Come on! That’s lame! I want a magic circle!” Lard complained.

“This is a magic circle, you brat! Now, come here. It is time for me to take your blood!” I shouted.

“I knew it! You wanted me dead!” He backed off.

“No, you idiot! I told you, why would I want you dead?!” I facepalmed.

Lard remained skeptical and kept his distance. “But you said you wanted my blood, right? Doesn’t that mean you want me dead?”

“This ritual needs just a drop of blood. I’m a skeleton, so where would I get the blood?” I retorted.

“I-I don’t like getting my wrist slitted! Can’t we just get that priestess girl to donate her blood?” Lard gulped.

I sighed then pulled out a syringe. “Relax. I have this. Do you think I’m some kind of backwards witch doctor? Now get over here.”

Lard finally relented and sat down next to me. I pulled his sleeve then took his left arm to take a drop of his blood.

“Oh, by the way. Since I am a skeleton and I didn’t have a good sample to practice on, I may not be that good with the syringe…”

“What? OW! HEEELP! SOMEBODY!”

“Hold still, you brat! This time, I’ll get it right!”

“AAAAAH! YOU ARE WORSE THAN THOSE NURSES IN DONATION CENTERS!”

Finally, I managed to fill the tiny syringe with his blood. I flicked it with my finger and watched the blood dance inside the syringe. “There. Wasn’t that bad, right?”

Lard was clutching his arm as he cried on the floor. “I, Vakasa of the Darkness, will remember this! Y-You Dr. Failure!”

“Yeah, yeah. Now, shut up while I finish the ritual,” I said as I dripped his blood into the circle. The blood dropped onto the floor with a silent splat, then glowed bright red. The small drop of blood began to somehow expand along the ritual circle until it covered the entire thing.

“Stand back! If you somehow get merged with the circle, it might be so hilarious I wouldn’t stop thinking about it for an entire week!” I warned.

As Lard and I stood in the corner, the circle began to glow brighter until it formed a white circle on the ground. Not a second later, a figure floated up slowly from the portal. Her long black hair swayed in the air, and her dark purple dress fluttered as she slowly rose up.

As she was midway across the portal, she opened her eyes. A soft voice spoke up, “Ah. Brother. There you are.”

Lard grabbed my arm and clenched it so hard that I thought I heard my bones cracked. “C-Close the portal! Stop the summoning! QUICKLY!”

“What?” I asked.

Once again, the girl spoke out, “There you are, my tubby wubby! Fate has brought us together once more!”

I sensed a chill crawl up my spine, one that was as bad as that one time some vampire tried to marry me. But what was it I feared? What was it that I dreaded?

I turned to Lard and replied, “I can’t stop the summoning!”

At last, the portal closed and the girl softly landed onto the stone floor. She spread her arms wide, then smiled at me. “Are you the one that kidnapped my adorable little brother?”

“What adorable little brother? I don’t see any adorable little brother! Only an annoying pest!” I retorted.

“Then I will take that as a yes.” As soon as she said that, she pulled a kitchen knife seemingly out of nowhere then charged at me.

“Run, Boss! You’re no match for her!” Lard screamed.

“Do not underestimate me!” I flung my arm out and lightning blazed forth from my hand. The arcs of lightning danced across the stone floor until finally reaching the girl. Unexpectedly, nothing happened.

“What?!” I exclaimed.

I tossed a few more spells at her way only for them to disappear into nothing. If what she said was true, she really is Lard’s sister! That makes two of them! That is extremely horrifying! No, I mean, other than that, she’s immune to magic!

When Lard’s sister was close to me, she jumped and pulled her knife back.

“You fool! You cannot hurt me! I am-...”

My taunt were cut short when her knife ignored all of my magical barriers and nearly poked my beautiful mask. Luckily, my reflex saved it when I pulled my head back in time.

“Lard! What kind of monster is this?!” I turned to look at Lard only to see him making a run for it. I wasn’t even given enough time to make a comment when his sister began barraging me with a series of stabs. With every thrust, I was forced to pull back one step further.

“That’s it! You’ve made me pull out my trump card!” I shouted when I finally managed to get some distance between me and her.

“Oh? And what is it?” She replied.

Without answering, I bolted straight for the door to follow after Lard. Luckily for me, he wasn’t athletic so I managed to catch up to him in time. I began running beside him in the academy grounds.

“Who in The Abyss is she?!” I asked frantically.

“You heard her! She’s my sister and she’s a freak!” Lard screamed as he continued running. “Why did you summon her?!”

“I didn’t! It must have been your blood! It created a connection between this world and your world!” I theorized.

Before we knew it, we were already headed straight to one of the academy buildings. We didn’t care what it was, we simply ran in straight to hide in. Once inside, we paused to catch our breath. Wait, I’m a skeleton. Why did I even bother?!

“Where are we?” Lard asked.

“How should I know? It’s dark here,” I replied as I started walking along the hall. Lard followed behind me, watching our back for his sister. Without a doubt, she must be close.

I stopped moving when I heard voices in the distance. I almost had a heart attack (if I had a heart), but was relieved when the voices were familiar to me. In the distance, two teenagers were talking to each other in hushed tones.

One of them was a girl with long blonde hair, Aera, a daughter of an Angolian Duke. Because of her ability to not scream her sword moves before executing them, she became more famous than before, earning her the nickname ‘Sword Queen’... even though she’s the daughter of a Duke. Shouldn’t that make her a ‘Sword Duchess-Heir’?

The other one was an unremarkable black-haired kid called… something. Blackhair? I think that was what I called him before. Whatever works.

I managed to creep up behind them using my sneaky undead skills and surprised them, “Are you guys holding hands in such an hour?!”

Aera jumped back and started muttering, “W-Who, what, when? I-... No, I mean we…. I mean…”

On the other hand, Blackhair remained calm with his arms crossed. “Ah, teacher. What do you mean ‘holding hands’? My hands are clearly here. Why would we be holding hands?”

Noticing Aera’s distraught face, I placed a hand on her shoulder then simply said, “I feel sorry for you that he is as dense as rock.”

“W-What do you m-mean by that? I-...”

Aera’s stuttering was cut off by Blackhair exclaiming, “Teacher! It seems that you are mistaken!”

Aera face brightened up but her mood plunged when Blackhair opened his mouth again, “I have been training my body day and night, so my body’s stronger than ever! I would say that I am as dense as steel now!”

The blonde girl simply gave a smile which could also be the epitome of hopelessness. I nodded at her to give her some consolation.

“Oooooh little brother? Where are you?” a voice echoed across the hall scaring the ever-unliving out of me.

“You two. You’re part of the heroes’ party, right?” I asked the two kids.

The two gave me a confused look then silently nodded at me.

“Good. As heroes, I want you to heroically sacrifice yourselves for me,” I ordered. Just as I was about to explain how they were going to be remembered in a funeral, the temperature plummeted.

“There you are my little brother!” Lard’s sister called out from across the hall.

“I-It’s her! I’m out of here!” Lard shouted then ran off.

“I might remember your sacrifice! Now, off I go!” I gave my farewell to the two soon-to-be-dead heroes and followed after Lard.

“Can you send her back to my world?” Lard screamed as he gasped for air. He was getting noticeably slower and slower, and it won’t be too soon until his sister could catch up to him.

“Listen. I would’ve thrown you at her to slow her down, but I need your blood to open the portal once more,” I explained. “Follow me back to the ritual tower!”

The summoning circle was still mostly intact, but it had to be fixed since it got singed by my spells earlier. I threw chalks all over the floor then snapped my fingers. One by one, the chalks began dancing around the floor, recreating the circle.

“Alright, let’s get this over with. Give me your arm,” I said as I took out my syringe. Lard hesitated at first, but knew that if he didn’t stop acting like a bitch, he would be a goner.

After taking a drop of blood, I dripped it over the magic circle. Once again, the circle began to glow until it opened a portal.

“Is that it? Is she gone?” Lard asked.

“No, you idiot! We need to toss your sister in here!” I shouted as I pointed at the portal.

“But how can we-...”

Lard stood up straight when he felt a chill crawling up on his skin. At the entrance of the tower was a dark figure with psychotic eyes. “Ooooh brotheeeer!” her soft voice echoed in the hollow tower.

“I’ll handle this. I will use my supreme cunning against her,” I whispered to Lard then turned to his sister, “Ahem. If you wish to get your beloved brother, you will have to walk through that seemingly harmless portal! It’s not actually a portal, though! It’s a carpet. A very nice carpet! You should totally throw yourself into it… I mean onto it!”

“Oh, please. Do you really think I’m dumb?” She looked at me with disdain. “Since you insist in standing in my way, I will have to eliminate you.”

She took out her knife from her sleeve like last time, but this time, it was all bloody. Rest in pieces, heroes!

“You’re mistaken here. You can’t kill me! I am immortal!” I proclaimed.

“Ho? Then…” she placed a finger on her chin then smiled, “I’ll give you death. Social death!”

“What?! YOU MONSTER!” I screamed.

“I’ll scream that you touched me inappropriately!” she declared then laughed maniacally.

I turned to Lard then commented, “Man, your sister is a bitch.”

“She is! What are we going to do now?!” Lard cried.

“I will have no choice but to use my trump card,” I replied.

I calmly walked towards Lard’s sister then swung my fist at her. With just a single strike, I knocked the broad daylights out of her, and she fell onto the floor like a ragdoll. I nonchalantly grabbed her body then tossed it into the portal which gobbled her and disappeared, leaving Lard and I in the ritual tower with silence.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!” Lard screamed.

“In the first place, you ran away before I could do anything. I needed your blood, after all. Besides, I don’t hit children. In fact, I don’t hit things. It’s too troublesome to swing my arm around,” I replied as I massaged my shoulders.

“You know what? I don’t care anymore. I’m going to go sleep this off and pretend this was just one big nightmare,” Lard muttered as he sluggishly shuffled towards the door.

I stayed behind to clean up (as in summoning a bunch of water slimes) the ritual circle, and by the time I was done, the sun was already up. I walked around the academy campus until I found Inez.

“Ah, Boss. I was looking for you! Your class is about to begin. Do you want me to get Mister Lard?” Inez asked.

“No, let him sleep. He assisted me with some of my experiments just now, and I got some very good results. Let’s go,” I quickly replied.