As I sat on my comfortable chair, I watched the shade-like ghastly distance-controlled puppet (dubbed 'shade-like') I summoned two weeks prior have a stroke right before my imaginary eyes. It twisted its body while walking like it had a javelin up its ass.

“Eh. Why are you still so bad at this?” I asked.

A door from across the room opened to reveal a sweaty, panting Lard covered with several layers of cloth linen to pad him away from the contraption wired all over his body. “This is harder than you think, you know!” he shouted angrily while bent over.

I turned towards the room’s wall, glanced over the ‘PREP ROOM’ sign and looked at the clock on the wall. “You know, you have an hour before you reveal yourself to the public. There’s a horde of journalists and city criers just outside this room,” I said while pointing behind my back.

“C-Can I, Vakasa of the Darkness, maybe get one more week?”

“You said you’d be able to master controlling it in one week, and when that one week was up, you asked for one more week. Now that we’re here, we can’t delay any longer,” I explained. “Fool.”

Before Lard could talk back, Kendra suddenly barged into the room and started digging into the cloth bag she carried. “By coincidence, I found out where that food vendor lady moved and got some treats. So, we-”

Kendra paused when she saw Lard. “You look like you’re having a heatstroke…”

“I, Vakasa of the Darkness, do not suffer from heatstroke! There are unknown forces working from the shadows to undermine me, Vakasa of the Darkness, by raising the temperature of the entire world!” Lard defended himself.

Kendra gave up on interacting Lard as usual and turned to me instead. “Hey, don’t you have those servants of yours? Can’t you use them to help Lard?”

“Lucia? She’s a girl. Lard can’t talk to most girls,” I answered.

“I have a girlfriend!” Lard interjected

“Brick walls don’t count.”

Kendra fished out a wrapped bun from her cloth bag and tossed it to me. “What about that other servant?”

“I’m wary about Ellysa using her magic lest the entire city gang up to beat her up. The only thing keeping her alive is the angel blood necklace on her,” I replied.

“No, I mean that, that-…” Kendra clicked her tongue and remembered what she wanted to say. “Horatio! Right! The guy-servant!”

“Ah.” I summoned Horatio with a clap, and the tall gloomy-looking vampire appeared from my shadow. After skipping over his greeting, I instructed him to put on the shade-like’s controllers.

“What now, master?” Horatio asked.

“How well can you imitate Lard’s movements?” I asked.

Horatio glanced at Lard and immediately slumped over, almost mimicking Lard.

“Hey! Nobody can copy me, Vakasa of the Darkness!” Lard protested while making exaggerated movements, as usual. Surprisingly, Horatio imitated his movements almost perfectly. In turn, the shade-like also moved fluidly.

“This works! I approve!” I declared. “Well done, Kendra!”

“It is only to be expected,” Kendra huffed with a smug face.

On the other hand, Lard had a look of defeat on his face. With the thick padding all over him, he looked like he wasn’t interested in living anymore. “Two weeks…Two weeks of suffering…All for naught…” he muttered dejectedly.

“You two! Get to work! You have less than one hour to rehearse!” I ordered Horatio and Lard.

While the two familiarize themselves with working together, I stood up and prepared my part of the plan. I chopped the air with my hand, and a wall of electricity was formed right before me. I walked through it and activated a magical cloak which bent light around me. With a simple adjustment, I managed to give myself an illusion of being a ghostly being.

I turned towards Kendra and, with my hands wide open, exclaimed, “Look, Kendra! I’m a ghoooost!”

Kendra bit into a piece of pastry and asked, “Now that I thought about it, you use disguises and illusions quite a lot.”

“If you want to survive—to learn in this theater of a world, you need to step into the shoes of everyone and everything.”

Kendra’s eyes slowly shifted downwards towards her feet.

“I didn’t mean literally,” I pointed out.

“I know that, you bonehead!” She sighed, looked away, and said, “I wonder if I’ll be able to put myself in other people's shoes, though.”

“You can always try.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Depends on your lying skills. So far, it’s been disappointing,” I sighed and shrugged disappointmently.

“Why you-”

“Attention!” Lard suddenly cut Kendra off and interjected. With the layers of cloth off him, he managed to once again terrorize the world with his exaggerated poses and movements. His finger slowly swept across the room, arms outstretched, and his body turned sideways. “I, Vakasa of the Darkness, am ready.”

To his side, Horatio mimicked Lard, which in turn meant that the shade-like copied Horatio. With the trio lined against each other, it looked like they were about to break into a synchronized dance and-

“HEY! STOP DANCING!” I demanded as Lard started doing some weird dance moves. “If you have time to fool around, you have time to get out there and start the meeting with the city journalists!”

“Tsk. What a boor,” Lard clicked his tongue and muttered. He turned his attention towards the image projecting orb and placed his hand over the controllers. With a push of the buttons, the shade-like walked out into a large hall filled with undead people, eagerly and impatiently waiting for a certain senator. I closed Lard's controller room and hid the door behind several boxes.

Unlike my band of high-skilled tourists armed with image-capturing light orbs, the undead could only employ speed artists to quickly paint the picture unfolding before them.

The moment my shade-like entered the spotlight, it was immediately bombarded with questions. The journalists and town criers attempted to push towards the shade-like, but large armored bodyguards formed a barrier to keep them far from ‘Terebnis’.

The shade-like stopped just in front of a lectern, mechanically turned its body towards the crowd, and froze on the spot. I stepped forward and announced, “Despite the recent attack, Senator Terebnis would like to give a brief speech so I would like to ask the crowd to remain silent.”

Whispers flowed across the crowd like a fish in open water.

“Is that really Senator Terebnis?”

“He feels different…”

“The senator was kidnapped, right?”

When I stepped back and let the shade-like take over, it pointed upwards and shouted loudly, “‘TIS I! THE ONE AND ONLY, SENATOR TEREBNIS GLOOMUS DARKIUS, POLITICIAN EXTRAORDINAIRE!”

At this sudden greeting, the crowd felt at ease.

“Ah! It is the senator!”

“It is good to see him fine!”

“I feel relieved!”

Lard continued to control the shade-like, adding, “Those demon louts from the DAAAARK ends of the world have dared to court death! They attack the sole symbol of this city through underhanded and disgraceful means! I, Senator Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, sought to walk separate paths from the demons as long as they do the same like any respectable party. Hoooowever! The line has been crooosssed!”

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Instead of listening to the rest of his speech, I decided to turn off my sense of hearing. Judging by how much the shade-like was waving its arm and stamping its fist against the lectern, I could already tell Lard was giving a passionate speech.

After what seemed like an hour of non-stop barrage of insults and rage against the demons, it seemed that Lard calmed down. I turned my sense of hearing back on and heard, “With that said, I have decided to reverse my political stand! It is clear that the demons mustn’t go unpunished! I shall also be working closely with fellow candidate, Boss, with regards to the demon threat!”

With his speech done, the people finally began their barrage of questions, like a broken dam overflowing an entire valley.

“Senator, does that mean you will now work with Presidential-Candidate Boss as a joint candidate?” a question came up.

“Nay! I shall only cooperate! He and I are still competitors for the presidency, but Gravia now must stand united against the demons! Whether I win or he wins the election, we must be both prepared to face the demons!”

“Question, senator! What of Senator Particia? Would this mean you’ll be working with her as well?”

The shade-like remained silent for a minute before clutching his chest. “I, the great and mighty Senator Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, protector of the people, and future leader of Gravia, must have reservations regarding other candidates, however, it is still fact that while I, Senator Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, and Presidential-Candidate Boss had suffered an attack, Senator Particia remained unscathed!”

The crowd gasped at this revelation.

“Senator! Are you implicating that Senator Particia worked with the-... the…”

“Nay! Remember the core principle of the republic! Innocent until proven guilty!” the shade-like shouted in response with its hands unfolded towards the ceiling.

The crowd went from shocked to confused at Lard’s statement.

“Is there really a principle like that here?”

“Isn’t it ‘execution block until innocent’?”

“Did those other bastard lawmakers change a law right under our noses again?”

“Ahem, ahem!” The shade-like coughed. “Regardless, I must comment that suspicions are not fact! That is all! I, Senator Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, give you my thanks for coming here today.”

After a dramatic wave, the shade-like strutted towards the backroom. I followed it back and shut the door behind tightly.

“Phew! That’s done with!” Lard sighed happily.

“We’re not done yet! While we still have the chance, we’re going to head straight to Terebnis’ headquarters. His lackeys should be here any minute now…”

The door abruptly opened, and a group of spectres, shades, and ghosts entered the room in a panic. They were wailing “Senatoooor!” or “Terebniiiiis!” until they saw me and Kendra.

“Who’re they?” the shade at the front asked.

“I am Terebnis’ new head of security,” I responded.

“I thought I was the head of securiiiityyyyy?” a ghost in the back asked.

“You’re fired effective immediately,” I replied.

“Who’s she?” the shade pointed at Kendra and questioned.

“I’m… uh… I’m just a part-timer,” Kendra gulped. “I’ll get going now.”

Once Kendra had left the room, the crowd of apparitions surrounded ‘Terebnis’. “Terebnis! We were so worried! You disappeared for two weeks!” the lead shade said.

“Not to worry, my fellow… ghosts! I, Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, was careless, but my new head of security,” Lard paused for a moment before continuing, “Shadow-Dark, intercepted those foul terrorists and freed me from certain doom!”

“Shadow-Dark?” I asked.

The ghosts surrounded me in turn, all thanking me with their ghastly voices.

“Praise Shadow-Dark!”

“Shadow-Dark, you have dooooone the Republic a great favor!”

“Without Terebnis, the future will be bleak! Head of Security Shadow-Dark, you should be proud!”

“Wait, if you were fine, why didn’t you contact us, Senator? We were worried sick!” another shade asked.

My shade-like waved his hands then explained, “As you know, if I foolishly revealed myself so soon after their failed attempt, the attackers would obviously try to kidnap me again! Thus, with my extraordinarily high intellect, I deduced that I would need to hide for two weeks!”

“Praise Terebnis!”

“What a very smart man! This is why I am vooooting for you!”

“There could be no one better to lead the Republic than you!”

The lead shade groaned and grumbled, “So it seems that the demons had broken their side of the deal! We had peace, and they dared to attack us when we least expected it!”

“Deal? I mean, INDEED! I, Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, cannot tolerate such betrayal! We should go and… demand an explanation for their actions!” Lard declared.

“As you wish, Senator! We have an auto-wagon prepared for you to return to the headquarters!” the lead shade said.

Terebnis’ men brought us to a carriage and drove us to his headquarters near the central district. Inside the dull black building, we were greeted by Terebnis’ employees, though we didn’t spend too much time with them. After a quick assurance that ‘Terebnis’ was fine, the group went downstairs.

The ghosts led us into a meeting room with an expensive wooden table at the center. After ‘Terebnis’ was seated, a ghost approached and said, “I shall bring the demon’s representative here shortly, Senator.”

“Do so with haste!” the shade-like ordered. It leaned closed to me and whispered, “Boss, what’re we going to do now?”

“Leave the rest to me,” I replied quietly. “Just get the ghosts out of the room.”

After half an hour later, the ghost returned with an undead abomination flanked by two armored zombies. The abomination unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat across my shade-like. “Senator, it is good that you are fine. It seemed that you were attacked by unknown forces, and we had thought that you were dead.”

“Do not lie to us! Senator Terebnis was assaulted by your forces!” the lead shade accused.

‘Terebnis’ raised his hand and assured, “I, Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, shall talk to these fellows by myself and my head of security. Please leave.”

“But Senator-”

“I HAVE SPOKEN!” the shade-like raised his finger towards the ceiling.

“As you say.” Terebnis’ posse left the room one by one, their presence slowly replaced by silence. Only the ticking clock on the wall made any audible sound, after all, ghosts don’t make footsteps.

The last phantom exited the room, grabbed the door knob, and slowly closed the door. With a thump, we were finally alone.

“So-”

Before the abomination’s second word even came out, I rushed out and stabbed him. Blood spurted from the necks of the zombies behind him, and Lard started screaming like a girl.

“What is the meaning of this?!” the abomination screamed as he grabbed the knife and got up. I thrusted my hand at his chest and dug out a tiny humanoid, flesh and guts spilling all over the room.

At the sight of me ejecting the fairy out of the abomination’s lifeless body, the shade-like started kicking its legs.

“Let me go, you bastard!” the fairy screamed. “How did you know that I was inside the abomination?!”

“Tell-”

I was suddenly cut off when a new voice was uttered from the shade-like. “Master, it seems that Lard has fainted.”

“Slap him! I don’t have time for this!” I ordered before turning back to the fairy. “Tell me what are the fairies’ plans for Gravia immediately!”

“I’d rather eat my tongue! I wonder how my tongue tastes? Does the tongue taste itself all the time?”

It seemed that exposing the fairy out of her hijacked body made her unhinged. I wondered if I made a mistake forcibly ejecting the fairy out, but it was too late even for regrets.

“Concentrate!” I shouted then slammed the fairy against the table like a glass bottle. “I have the power to seal you up by force and turn you into my little toy!”

“You may have the power of seals and narwhals but I have the power of The Abyss! AH HA HA HA-”

I cut her off by immediately smashing the fairy into the wall. A pattern made out of blood was formed on the wall as the fairy fell into the floor like an abused cloth doll. I splashed water onto her, declaring, “With this holy water, your powers are sealed, you lunatic!”

“Nooooo! I’m melting! I’m melting!” she shouted weakly while spitting blood.

I watched as the fairy spasmed, though I was impressed by her level of lunacy as all I did was splash her with normal water.

I picked up the fairy and said, “Your connection to The Abyss is severed. Suiciding in front of an Archlich is just a declaration of your stupidity. You’re cornered.”

The bloodied fairy shook her head rapidly shouting, “I don’t want to be a square! I’ll do as you say!”

I tied the battered fairy with a magical thread and locked her up in a glass jar. After making sure the lid was tightly closed, I stuffed the fairy into my robes.

“That fairy seems deranged. Will you really get any information from her?” Lard suddenly spoke.

“Oh, you’re awake? I didn’t expect you to faint.”

“I, Vakasa of the Darkness, did not faint! I… simply power napped for two seconds!” Lard excused.

“I don’t care. Anyway, with the fairy captured, we should start cleaning the place.”

I resurrected the three slain undead into my minions, collected the blood in the room into a ball, and tried my best to fix the furniture. When everything went back to normal, I explained the next plan to Lard.

“Understood, Boss!” Lard said after hearing my plan.

We both walked to the door and opened it as loudly as we could. The shade-like shouted angrily, “How dare you look down upon the one and only Senator Terebnis Gloomus Darkius! You have made an enemy out of me, fools! Men, I want these disrespectful louts escorted out!”

The ghosts and phantoms rushed to kick the abomination and zombie out, leaving me and Lard in the hallway.

I said, “Lard, you’ll have to continue investigating from within Terebnis’ organization. I need to return with the fairy.”

“Leave it to me, Vakasa of the Darkness!” Lard declared.