“Hellllooooo Gravia!” I shouted as I entered a wide hall. I placed my hands on my hips and raised my chin smugly for a good minute until I realized something was wrong. “Shouldn’t my followers be throwing themselves right at my feet?”

I scanned the room and the people around were just bemused at my act. There was even a human with a child staring at me.

“Mommy, who is that strange man?”

“Be careful, honey. Those are the people I warn about. Let’s go before he turns you into an undead!”

“Kendra, tell me again what’s my popularity rating?” I turned my head and asked my little apprentice.

“I’m not sure what to tell you, Master, but I’ll be blunt. People’s lives don’t really revolve around the elections. Some don’t even care. Besides, without your mask and hood, you look like an ordinary skeleton in white robes.”

“So it’s a problem with marketing…” I mused. “Should I dress as eccentrically as possible for the duration of the campaign?”

“No,” Kendra sighed. “You’re just not that popular, you know?”

“Well, I’ll have you know, Kendra, in my days, I was quite a popular monarch. People would scream my name to the skies whenever they beg for mercy.”

“Just to be sure, Master, you’re talking in Commons, right?” Kendra asked me with serious face. “Not Ancient Commons. Just Commons. I have to make sure we have the same dictionary meaning to the word ‘popular’.”

“Yes? Is my accent off again?”

“Forget it!” Kendra hissed then pushed me towards the reception. “We got a job here, Master. Didn’t you want to talk to the head commissioner?”

“Right.”

Kendra and I went straight to the empty receptionist desk and rang the bell. It didn’t take long for a death commissioner to come. They placed down a cup on the desk, sat down, and asked with a bored voice, “Good day, sir. How may I help you?”

“I’m going up to see Head Commissioner.”

“The Head Commissioner? I’m afraid he’s not seeing anyone today. His appointment list is empty.”

“Well, lady, I know him personally, so it’s fine.”

The death commissioner looked straight into my eyes, opened a book, then remarked, “Sorry, sir. There is absolutely nothing on the appointment list today. He had also explicitly told me that he’s not allowing visitors today.”

“What now, Master?” Kendra asked me.

“Listen well, Kendra. You shall see the full potential of my famed charisma.” I ran my hand against my bald skull and leaned against the desk. With my deepest voice, I said, “Lady, your eyes are like your armor, shining so bright it would make the stars jealous. I am certain that your personality would shine brighter if you would let me see Head Commissioner.”

“Ugh.” Kendra rolled her eyes. “Get me out of this place.”

“Sir, I’ll take the compliment, but the Head Commissioner is simply unavailable at this time.”

“Drats,” I cursed under my breath. “Maybe we should’ve brought Zoweer. Zodeer? What was his name again?”

“Zoheer. I think that’s his name,” Kendra replied.

“No, no. I’m pretty sure it’s Zoseer.”

“Wait, does it even start with a Zo? Could it be Soweer?”

While Kendra and I murdered Zo-something’s name, I noticed a group of death commissioners marching within the constabulary halls led by a certain pig-headed person. “HEAD COMMISSIONER!”

“Sir! You’re not allowed inside!” Before the lady could stop me, I brazenly ran towards Head Commissioner. “You! How dare you lock me out!”

“Bahas- I mean Boss? What’re you doing here?” Head Commissioner asked, stopping in his tracks. The armed death commissioners following him stopped and stood still like disciplined statues.

“I was looking for you! I have something to discuss with you.”

Head Commissioner looked at his men then said, “Listen, Boss, I’m a bit busy right now. You shouldn’t be walking around in broad daylight anyway. I have my men and S.W.A.T. ready, so I was about to leave.”

“S.W.A.T.?”

“Special Weapons Assault Trebuchet. There’s an old fort in the city limits, and my intel believes that the last few pockets of demon resistance is holding up there. We need a specialized anti-demon trebuchet to hit their demonic magic defenses hard,” the Former God of Death explained while clutching his pale human fist. “Now, I must go.”

“Wait, wait. That’s it? My men can handle those.” I waved my hand dismissively as if wiping a terrorist cell was as easy as brushing my teeth.

“What? No. Let the commissioners handle this. You know, the official and sanctioned security force of Gravia.”

“Now, let’s not be quick about this. Particia and I agreed on an anti-demon alliance. Surely, you can see how the demon threat would require more than just the power of the death commissioners and the city enforcers, right? With the two presidential-candidates working together, it would unite the people against the demons. For that, Particia or I will have to deal the killing blow against the demons.”

“I cannot allow the people to be endangered simply because of potential political gains. If the demons escape, they could—and will—retaliate against Gravia hard.”

“You forget. I am an Archlich with the powers and resources of an Archlich. For example,” I gestured my hand to the side. “This is my subordinate, Daggerless.”

The ‘pot of plant’ in the corner of the room turned around and jumped out. He pointed at himself with his thumb and proudly introduced himself, “I am Daggerless!”

“He’s a specialist at infiltration and assassination.”

“I am?”

“Yes.”

“Then I am!”

Kendra facepalmed while Head Commissioner scratched his maggoty chin. “Right.”

“Come on, Head Commissioner. What will it take? Do you want me to go personally?”

“I am pretty sure that you will destroy the fort and a section of the city while you’re at it.”

“Such faithlessness! And you still dare say you vote for me?!”

The boar-headed former-god looked at Daggerless then back to me. “I must know, what’s so important that you must personally send one of your ‘assassins’ against a half-dead demon force?”

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

“Remember how you wanted to go for a fishing duel rematch?”

“What?” Kendra and Head Commissioner asked at the same time.

“Wait, what do you need me for, then? I don’t even like fishing!” Kendra protested.

Head Commissioner coughed loudly, bringing my attention back to him. “So that’s it? I’m not sure how to feel about this.”

I raised a finger. “If anything, you should be happy that I’m willing to use the authority of an Archlich to assist you rather than hindering you.”

“Fine.” The Former God of Death let out a displeased grunt and asked, “Is the human girl really your apprentice?”

“Yes.”

“Odd. She seems less of a brat than you are so I thought she was your caretaker instead. Where shall we go?”

“I’ve got an auto-wagon prepared! It’s a brand new wagon, too!”

Leaving his troops behind, Head Commissioner followed me into my wagon, and we set off to the city’s countryside. Much like the rest of the city, the plains were dull gray or sickly green. We stopped in front of a long, quiet river. Sitting at the edge of the river was an unremarkable rowboat with three fishing poles prepared.

“Come now, Head Commissioner! We shall see if the power dynamic is still the same even after a thousand years.”

Head Commissioner sighed, though it sounded more like a paper that was being crumpled and torn apart at the same time. The three of us got onto the boat, Kendra took the furthest spot away from us and disgruntledly stared at the complete nothingness.

“Just like a thousand years ago. No magic,” I said while rowing the boat away. “Let’s see who can catch the most fish.”

After a few minutes of silent rowing, I spoke up, “I just realized something. I was so caught up in the election that I forgot to ask if Gravia currently has a president.”

“What?” Head Commissioner asked.

“What what?” I asked back.

“You are not aware?”

I shrugged in reply.

“This is odd. You haven’t met the president personally?”

“There’s nothing in the election rules that states I must meet them so why should I bother with extra work?”

“But if I’m correct, you’ve already known them.”

“What? Who’re they?”

“President Agha-ha-hog or just Agha. Leader of the Hag’s Association Clique of the Free Gravia Party. You may know her better as Senator Particia’s assistant and second-hand.”

I exhaled hard and slapped my knee. “Why didn’t anybody tell me that my rival is the president’s favorite?! No wonder it’s a hard-fought race!”

“You… should be aware of this from the start…” Head Commissioner groaned.

“Whatever. My plans are still unchanged, and victory is still assured,” I declared before rowing the boat again. “Here we are. We can start fishing here.”

“This place...It’s the place, huh.”

“Indeed. This is where we had our duel a millennium ago. It was no coincidence that you remained in Gravia, right?”

“Indeed. I still think about it. A thousand years ago. Right here. Where the truth was rewritten.”

“So you understood what happened before?” I asked.

“Only a bit.” Head Commissioner felt a tug in his line. He hoisted his pole up, grabbed the fishing line, and held up his catch.

An ocean bass caught in a river.

He quickly turned and managed to catch my hand that was aimed at his maggoty head.

“Bend. To. My. Will,” I cackled.

“A thousand years ago, you broke through the cycle. Defied the natural cycle, becoming the new God of Death,” Head Commissioner pointed out with a displeased tone. He grabbed my other incoming hand, locking the both of us into a pushing contest. “And thus this became the new truth! A truth where the hierarchy of the undead holds no candle! A truth built by your defiance! A concept made into reality!””

“You are correct, Former God of Death.”

“So…” he spoke up and let his defenses down, so I pushed my hands forward, but was immediately repelled. “Knowing this, how is that you’re able to assert the hierarchy here?!”

“Because we’re not following reality right now,” I replied with a smug tone.

Head Commissioner was visibly confused until he turned to the silent third party. “The girl!”

Kendra had pretty much blended in with the background. Despite the fact that the boat was rocking violently, her side of the boat was stable as if she was on a separate boat altogether. If one stared at her back long enough, it felt like looking at an old painting sitting on a dusty palace.

“She’s like you!” Head Commissioner snarled. “That’s why-”

“Indeed!” I cackled happily. “It’s why everything felt so familiar, yet not so familiar. This is no longer the Gravia you and I know. It is the Gravia Kendra knows.”

The river was almost the same river in my memory. The dead grass was almost the same dead grass in my memory. The gloomy sky was almost the same gloomy sky in my memory. But this was neither reality nor my memory.

This was Kendra’s fabricated reality of what transpired a thousand years ago. A distorted artificial memory of a tale I recalled to her.

“This- This will have consequences!” the Former God of Death protested angrily.

“Of which are ignorable to someone like me.”

“What is your goal?!”

“Do you want to find out? Just bend to my will.”

The former god snorted loudly and started fighting back in earnest. Wings sprouted from his back, and the god’s old form started to reform slowly. Voices whispered and manifested into droplets as I started using divine magic to suppress the Former God of Death. As it turned out, a thousand years was enough to make a former god rusty.

“You- You cannot!”

“I can!” I boomed as my hand imprinted my influence into his head. He squealed in agony as his entirety was subsumed to my will. “Henceforth, Former God of Death, you are subordinated to me, Archlich Boss.”

Essence of death twirled like a hall full of dancers at a ball. They danced and formed a circle as a choir in the back sang praises to no one and nothing. My arm was no longer mine. It cracked into several pieces until it formed a new doppleganger costumed as my arm.

And as the peak was about to reach, everything disappeared. The voices, the songs, the dance. Everything.

Only a mirror of myself remained.

Not even I remained.

“And why did you do this?” a voice echoed.

I tried to turn my head, but I couldn’t. I had no head.

“Because…”

“Because?”

“Because I want the vampires to stop sharpening their teeth.”

The voice was silent, yet everything felt loud.

I ‘opened’ my eyes again and found Head Commissioner sitting in front of me. The boat had frozen in time, and Kendra was still a painting at the edge of reality. “Listen, I hope that you know what you’re doing.”

I shook my hand. “The blood of the Vampire Matriarch won’t affect the undead, much. Probably.”

“I’m sure most of the dead know that. However, the vampires are still one of the greatest enemies of Gravia. Once they learn that a new Vampire Matriarch is born, war is inevitable.”

“How can they know if a Vampire Matriarch is born, though?”

“Once the vial of the Vampire Matriarch’s blood is missing, it’s assumed that a new one will pop out somewhere. Gravian undead will hunt down the Matriarch.”

“How would they find her?”

“They will follow the chain of the vampire’s hierarchy. The Matriarch is always at the top.”

“Not unless an Archlich is above her.”

“You’re planning on turning the Vampire Matriarch as your subordinate?”

“The vampire’s already my subordinate. I just need the blood. Do you know where it is?”

“Unfortunately, no. It’s hidden until the inauguration day. Not even I, the Head Commissioner, knows where it is.”

“Bah,” I groaned. I had half-hoped that by subordinating Head Commissioner, I could skip the election and get straight to just snatching the blood.

Head Commissioner shook his head in defeat. “Show me the vampire. I’ve lost my absolute free will, so I want to see the cause of it.”

Without my input, Ellysa emerged from my shadow. She held the hem of her dress and bowed. “Ellysa, Queen of the Dwarves. Pleased to meet the Former God of Death.”

Head Commissioner grunted in response. “For a Vampire Queen to be subordinated to another undead. Unthinkable!”

Ellysa chuckled and placed a hand in front of her mouth. “I’ll have you know, unlike stubborn fools like yourself, I voluntarily submitted myself to my dearest. It gives my love less work for the same result.”

“She’s as annoying as you are,” Head Commissioner groaned. “Take me back to Gravia. I have work to do. I shan’t get into your way, Boss.”

“This is not Gravia?” Ellysa wondered.

“It is, and it isn’t. Now get back into my shadow. I don’t want to return to actual Gravia and be marked by the entire armed force of Gravia.”

Once everyone had settled, I reached out and shook Kendra. Although the boat didn’t move or anything, the water around the boat violently exploded upwards.

“WHOA!” Kendra screamed and used magic to quickly form a dome to cover the boat from any falling water. The little girl was sweating like she had a fever, and she was breathing hard, but she looked satisfied. “You know what? Maybe fishing isn’t so bad after all!”

Kendra held up a river trout with a smile.