As we surfaced back from the underground, the royal guards were shocked when they saw Asha with a burning crown on her head.

“That is…the crown of Angolia..”

“I thought the fire was just a myth…”

“Why do they all looked burnt up?”

King Argo, no, Argo greeted the knights and said that he would explain in due time. On the other hand, I grabbed Sarjay and pulled him far from the others.

“Excellent job in those lies. Could use some work, though.” I chuckled.

“I learn from the best.” Sarjay shrugged.

“Though, I must ask, why didn’t you take the crown yourself? Didn’t you want your kingdom back?”

“I wanted my kingdom under my kids, not some random nobody. Though, I couldn’t call Argo’s family ‘nobodies’.” He looked back towards Argo who was introducing Asha. By now, the knights were kneeling down to Asha.

“Besides, if I left you for long extended periods of time, the world would break in half.” He lightly backhanded my mask with his gauntlet.

“But still, handing a kingdom to a kid with no experience…” I cast my doubts as I placed a hand on my chin.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Argo has a plan. What’s got to you, Boss? Normally you would say ‘Yeah, that sounds good’ without asking. You should stop using divine spells,”  Sarjay said as he walked back to Asha’s side. Without saying anything, I decided to just go with the flow.

“…My King….Ga…GWAAAAAAAH!” Er…Captain Kolm grabbed Argo’s leg and started crying.

“My friend, Kolm. Please.” Argo patted Captain Kolm’s helmet as he clutched on.

“My King…I can’t….Sniff…I can’t believe that….” Captain Kolm sniffled as he started composing himself. He stood up straight but continued to rub his eyes.

“Indeed…” King Argo chuckled.

Oh, I wondered how Argo broke the news that he was no longer king? I crossed my arms as I watched the captain break down. Ahhh, I knew this was going to happen.

“I can’t believe that…you had a daughter this entire time, Your Majesty!” Captain Kolm’s tears started flowing like a river again.

“Daughter…?” I whispered at Argo’s ears.

“Go along with my plan, friend. This is for the best,” He whispered back. Heh, it seemed that the old fairy tale king could actually lie.

We decided to head back into the king’s office to discuss our next move. Though, there was someone who didn’t like this entire ordeal.

“You guys! Do I really have to be the queen of one of the largest nations in the continent?! I only know how to smith weapons, not govern a kingdom!” Asha protested as soon as we reached the office.

“Your Majesty, I could provide guidance to…” Argo tried to give her some relief but Asha continued to complain.

“That doesn’t matter! What about my feelings?!” Asha shouted.

“Your feelings? What’s your life goal? Get rich or something?” I questioned as I relaxed on a comfortable chair.

“Smithing! All my life, the furnace had been my only true home. I wish to craft the finest armor and weapons the entire continent had seen!” Asha proclaimed.

“Well, then. Your goal would be easier if you were the Queen of Angolia,” I replied.

“What do you mean by that?”

I snapped my fingers at Argo, getting his attention. I leaned forward and asked, “Old man, you do have some kind of treasure vault, right? You know, one that doesn’t only have a single crown in it?”

“We do have a treasury. Why do you ask? Do you need something?” Argo asked.

“Tell me, how many exotic metals do you have stored in the treasury? I’m sure the treasury of Angolia had accumulated quite a lot of treasures over the centuries of its existence,” I asked back. When I said ‘exotic metals’, Asha’s ears perked up. Gotcha’.

“We do have quite a number of mithril, high steel, and other rarer ores. I remember that when I was young, a young republic gave us a bar of heavenium as a gratitude for helping it gain independence from the Vallen Empire,” Argo answered.

“…Heavenium?” Asha’s fingers were twitching with excitement.

“Yes, Your Majesty. Heavenium. The so-called metal sent by the Gods of the old. People thought that it doesn’t exist. Mere folk tales told to children of heroes with heavenium weapons. But in reality, they do exist. Unfortunately, we don’t know how to work with heavenium,” Argo continued.

“With a certain special kind of fire, heavenium could be melted down to turn into something. Hell, it could even work with other metals like high steel.” I shrugged.

“I…” Asha muttered.

“BUT! There’s a ‘but’ there. Only the King or Queen can access those, right?” I asked Argo, though it was directed to Asha. I wasn’t just lazing around doing nothing while I stayed in this castle.

I was lazing around while ordering Lucia to gather information about everything I needed to know so I pretty much knew quite a lot of things about how this place ran.

“Hmm…Yes. You are right, friend. Only I can access those ores. I also cannot give them to anyone without any good reason.” Argo rubbed his chin.

“Geh…I…FINE! I’ll be your damned Queen, but I better be left alone most of my time!” Asha caved in.

With that out of the way, Argo said that he needed to gather all of the important nobles. He insisted that at least the most important nobles know. I told him that it was better that less people knew about the truth, but his character simply forbade him from lying to his closest allies.

It would take a few days for all of them to come so I was free to do what I wished. After the meeting was done, I decided to take a stroll around the castle courtyard when I found the heroes’ party coming back from the battlefield.

“Teacher! There were still a lot of monsters so we had to stay and help the knights get rid of them. Where have you been?” Blackhair called out to me.

“I had to attend to matters not concerning you. I hope you all didn’t have a hard time fighting those mons…-“

“TEACHER!”

Oh Goddess no. I slowly shifted my sight to the impossible. There he was, Lard, with barely any clothes on. His weapon was just a hilt, his helmet was turned into a plate and only his tattered pants remained.

“I, VAKASA OF THE DARKNESS, had returned!” He raised his hilt up towards the sky.

What was this? I could somehow feel a tear flowing down from my mask’s eyeholes. Impossible.

“It seems that you’re glad for my safe return. I understand, since I am the hero that would save everyone.” Lard shuffled towards me.

“No…It’s just….why aren’t you dead?!” I cursed as I wiped the tear off my mask.

“I feel like you were supposed to say ‘You’re alive!’ and not ‘You’re not dead?’…” Lard groaned. Was this fat ass just extremely lucky or simply immortal?!

“We were lucky that Leyna was around to heal him. Vakasa kept taking all the hits for us.” Blackhair praised Lard for his supposedly ‘heroic’ acts. I was sure that Lard was just too slow to dodge the monster attacks and acted that he was taking them all on purpose. Damn that little priestess girl Leyna! You had foiled my plans!

The rest of the heroes were fine, as well. Aera kept talking to me about how her mithril rapier just stabbed through hard shells like they were butter. Arrowsky simply nodded at me. Kendra was too tired to talk to me so she just fell asleep on a bench. Even my cassowary was brought back into the stables.

With the portal destroyed, our daily life should go back to the usual routine. I liked it more when it was peaceful.

*

*

*

These past few days, Sarjay was supervising Asha’s ‘How to be a Queen’ class since Sarjay himself used to be a king. I decided to stop by his class and check out how it was going.

“Gwaaah! Why does it matter if I use the wrong spoon for the soup?!” Asha cried as Sarjay snapped at her with a ruler. Asha only had the most basic etiquettes training from her family before she ran off to make money at an early age. Well, at least she doesn’t need to learn how to bow or something.

“As a Queen, you must be the most dignified person in the country. What if diplomats come and meet you? They’ll mock our great country because our Queen is an idiot!” Sarjay slapped Asha’s hands with a ruler as she picked the wrong spoon again.

“I want to go home and just eat bread!” Asha cried. Well, I wanted to stay and watch but Sarjay was starting to tutor me on how to be a proper leader, as well.

“BACK STRAIGHT!” He slammed my back with his great sword.

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

“WHY THE SWORD?!” I screamed in pain.

“You’re immortal, it doesn’t matter! NOW, BACK STRAIGHT!”

Was this revenge for all the mess I created?! I slipped off the class when I got the chance. With a sigh of relief, I went towards the stable. My cassowary had become accustomed to the stable but was still nervous when I was around.

“Hmm. You need a name. What are you? A boy or girl?” I asked the bird. In reply, it just cawed at me. Of course, what was I thinking?

“Your name from now on shall be Cass, the monster cassowary thing,” I proclaimed as I jumped onto Cass’ back. I decided to visit where the dungeon used to be but only found a huge crater. Knights were patrolling this place strictly and people weren’t allowed near the crater.

Rest In Pieces, random dungeon spirit. You shall be forgotten.

“YOU!”

Speak of the Devil. I turned my ride around and saw a young man wearing thick robes.

“Ah, hey. You look different,” I greeted.

“Of course I look different, you dingus! I’m wearing my human disguise! You destroyed my home, you bastard!” He threatened.

“Whoa. Alright, let’s be civilized. I’ll find you a new home. A better home, alright? One filled with a lot of mana and all that,” I assured him.

“You better find me one, or I’ll haunt your sleep!” The spirit fumed in anger.

“Well, I don’t even sleep, so…” I was trying to think of a way to run away when I felt a familiar presence to my side.

“Boss, got a problem here?” Daggerless appeared out of nowhere. Oh! This was good timing! I could just ask Daggerless to beat the crap out of the spirit. But that wouldn’t be good…

“You know any good dungeon cores around? Maybe the Skeleton Crew has one lying around?” I asked Daggerless.

“I heard that the Sorcerer City States houses an inactive dungeon core. Why do you ask? Does that person want to steal one?” He pointed at the disguised spirit.

“He’s a dungeon spirit in disguise. I blew up his dungeon by accident so…”

“Should I just beat the crap out of him?” Daggerless offered. The spirit winced in terror and took a defensive stance.

“No, no. I think it’ll be fun activating a dungeon core,” I answered Daggerless then turned to the spirit, “I’ll give you your dungeon, but that’s not in my top priority list. You’ll have to wait for that dungeon.”

“Fine! Just get me a home. In the meantime, I’ll be hanging out in the Spirit Realm. If you get me a home, call me up with this.” He threw a piece of pebble at me and I caught it. The pebble was smooth and had a glowing mark carved into it. I studied the mark and realized it was a summoning rune. The spirit grunted as a form of farewell then left.

“So, Boss. The spymaster told me to report to you,” Daggerless spoke to me when the spirit left.

“What does that sadist want?” I asked.

“Beor wanted to inform you that he had effectively crushed the Bloodied Rags in the capital. He took the opportunity when the monster portal came in by luring a lot of monsters towards the Bloodied Rags’ HQ,” Daggerless reported.

Wait, so we were the strongest criminal organization in Angolia now? What was my spymaster’s end goal?

After some thinking, I realized that he probably wanted to set up a massive spy network to get as much information as he could get his hands on. What information? Probably the best touring spots in the continent, of course. I nodded in satisfaction.

“Tell the boys to meet me after a few days at the palace. As you could see, the capital’s a mess. We can’t do much touring here. I believe it’s best to find another place to tour,” I ordered Daggerless.

“Where are we going, Boss?” Daggerless asked.

“I have no idea yet, but I’m sure I’ll have an answer when I come back.” I nodded and rode back to the castle. After such a long, aching time, I could finally focus on touring again. I could probably excuse that I wanted to let the heroes train in other places, as well.

*

*

*

We were in a huge meeting room with one long table in the middle of the room. King Argo sat at one end, next to Asha. I sat on the other end with Sarjay standing behind me. The nobles were quietly discussing amongst themselves. I noticed that Aera’s father, Duke Lancel was also here.

“Oh my Goddess, the King is so handsome today, as well,” One of the nobles whispered when I enhanced my hearing with magic. Ahem. I shall be pretending that I didn’t hear that.

Argo clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention and began, “Gentlemen, recently a disaster struck the capital city…”

One of the nobles stood up, “My lord! I humbly apologize that I couldn’t ride to battle to defend Your Majesty! I was at the south dealing with refugees!”

“It’s alright, Duke Talls. I must say that your action of feeding all the refugees with food bought from your pockets is truly commendable.” Argo smiled at the Duke.

“He smiled at me…I mean…Ahem! No, my lord! It is only expected of an Angolian to help those in need!” The Duke who had a guilty face now had a joyous grin plastered on his face. Another noble jealously slapped the Duke’s back.

“I know most of you were busy dealing with your own problems. But, thanks to the heroic actions of the heroes’ party and their teacher…” He directed his hand towards me and continued, “We managed to crush the portal before any more serious damage could be done.”

The nobles clapped for me and someone raised a question, “My king, do you know who caused the portal to appear?”

Gulp. I looked away, staring at a wall. Oh Gee, what a nice looking wall! I was sure that this discussion had nothing to do with me.

“My advisors believed that it could be the demons trying to sabotage our defenses,” Argo answered. Yes! It was the fairies!

“Those damnable creatures! First, they broke through the holy barrier. Then, they even got to the heart of our home!” A knight angrily slammed the table.

“Do not fret, my friends. I bring great news. I must reveal to you that this girl…” Argo stood up along with Asha. She nervously kept a serious face, but I could see she couldn’t bear with so many powerful stares.

“Could she be the king’s betrothed?!”

“Isn’t she too young?”

“YOU TRAITOR! ARE YOU SAYING THE KING IS QUESTIONABLE?!”

“This girl is my daughter,” Argo finished his sentence. The nobles had a collective gasp. Someone even broke into joyous tears.

“My lord!” Someone jumped off his seat and knelt towards Asha.

“I am not yet finished.” Argo raised his hand and the crowd got silent.

“This girl, Asha, was actually the child that was birthed by my beloved late wife. In order to protect her from evil schemes, I had to keep her secret,” Argo explained. The nobles started whispering to each other.

“But, that’s the story that was told to the public. I will be honest, I consider you all to be my closest allies and friends.”

“Only a friend…” Someone depressingly whimpered.

“Thus, I cannot lie to you. I am no king. The true monarch is Queen Asha,” Argo proclaimed. Once again the crowd went wild.

“WHAT?!” “WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!” Most of the nobles including Archduke Francois went nuts. Argo calmed them all down then explained the entire story. Only Duke Lancel, Aera’s father, knew this story.

“I know that you all must be infuriated that you all had been misled all these time by me, and I am truly sorry.” Argo bowed low.

“No! Your Highness! It’s not that! We all believe in you! King or not, we follow you! I simply refuse to follow somebody we do not even know!” Archduke Francois stood up angrily and pointed at Asha.

“Indeed! I follow no man, but Argo!” Another Duke stood up. A lot of nobles started protesting.

Unexpectedly, Asha raised one of her hands. I would’ve thought she would stay quiet. The nobles grew quiet as Asha intently looked at all of them.

“I don’t want to be Queen, either. I am sorry. But, I believe…I believe that fate has brought me here. I’m not King Argo, but I wish to at least strive to be someone worthy enough to be called ‘Queen’.” Asha clenched her hand into a fist and struggled to get words out of her mouth.

“Well…I…Ahem.” Archduke Francois nervously scratched the back of his head in guilt.

“She does look cute,” One of the nobles whispered.

“She reminds me of my granddaughter.”

“So, please! Give me a chance to prove myself to you all!” Asha bowed and tears were dropping onto the floor.

“Oh no, I mean…Don’t cry!” Archduke Francois rushed to her and took out a hankerchief.

“I can’t believe I made her cry!”

“At least she’s trying her best!”

The nobles started silently discussing amongst themselves. However, the discussion slowly started heating up.

“We should give her a chance.”

“And betray King Argo?I think not! As a member of the fan club, you should realize what you’re saying!”

“You fool! Even King Argo thinks Asha should be Queen! If you’re a member of the fan club, you should at least agree with King Argo!”

“I’m starting a Queen fan club. Anyone with me?”

“Even the Archduke has a soft spot for her!”

“We need a true monarch to protect the people of Angolia from the demons.”

“Are you calling King Argo a fake?!”

I could tell there was a growing divide among the majority of the nobles. Though, there were some nobles who didn’t seem fazed by the whole thing. One Duke was giggling to himself. I believed that his name was Duke Travor? I focused my hearing to him.

“Finally! The fan club falls! Thank you, Goddess!”

Right. I might just put him into my ‘Nuts’ list of nobles.

“Ahem, friends.” Argo coughed loudly, stopping the discussion among the nobles.

“Although I said that Lady Asha would be Queen, I would still be helping her in the affairs of the kingdom. I shall be her steward and advisor. I won’t simply disappear, of course,” Argo tried to mediate. With this, the nobles started nodding silently.

“At the very least, I still get to call him ‘King Argo’. I see no problem in all these. In my mind, Lady Asha...Princess Asha is the king’s daughter,” One Duke proclaimed. The disgruntled nobles started cooling their heads and agreed with the Duke’s sentiments. Slowly all the nobles got off their chair and knelt to Asha.

“All hail, King Argo and Princess Asha!” All the nobles shouted in unison.

Well, what luck! I was expecting a lot of resistance from this. I tapped the table and dissipated the mana buried inside it. Nobody was going to explode today.

*

*

*

With the nobles dismissed, I was at the hall telling Sarjay about what the rest of the tour group was up to. Sarjay just sighed and muttered ‘Just for touring, we toppled the underworld.’

Hopefully, I could go somewhere else and start touring soon. As if fate decided to answer my question, Argo approached me.

“Steward Argo. How could I help?” I stretched my back and yawned.

“For some time, I could tell that you have been itching to go somewhere else. I have a task for the heroes’ party.” Argo held up a piece of envelope and gave it to me.

“A massive conflict between the orcs and elves is brewing. The southern border nations had fallen and the demons are advancing. It is time that we all unite as one, lest we all fall divided,” Argo started to explain.

“So? You want me to go and tell them to make up or what?” I questioned.

“Perhaps. My intelligence network suspects that this was the work of the demons. Right now, the orcs are planning to invade Sayitsi, the Great Elven Forests. You will go there disguised as diplomats informing the elves of the new heir to Angolia,” Argo continued to explain.

The elves and orcs, huh? Two races in one trip? I couldn’t pass up this chance, of course! Also, Arrowsky seemed normal for an elf so I was sure all of the elves are normal compared to the humans and dwarves!

I happily agreed and accepted the mission. After informing the heroes, I went to the back of the castle. My companions were all waiting for me there, as I instructed.

“Boss, what’s going on? Are we moving somewhere soon?” Someone asked.

“Indeed. Luckily for us, the next location will be the home of the elves!” I excitedly announced. The companions all cheered and started to plan their would-be trip.

“However, there’s a problem. We need to get there fast. Apparently the orcs wants the elves dead,” I explained.

“I thought the orcs always wanted them dead,” Daggerless commented.

“Well, yeah. But, Argo wanted me to do this so why not take the opportunity? He offered some carriages but I don’t think they’re fast enough to get us there. I can’t use the spiders either. Obviously an army of spiders entering a nation wouldn’t be welcomed,” I told the group. My companions started thinking for suggestions.

“I have an idea, Boss,” Daggerless was the first one to speak.

“What is it?”

“You know about my succubus girlfriend?” He asked.

“Obviously, we found your dagger just so you could hook up with her again.”

“Well, back then, she showed me how to use certain portals that could teleport us to different places. Apparently that was how the demons get around back then,” Daggerless explained.

“Do you know the closest portal then? Could it take us to Sayitsi?” I questioned.

“In fact, the closest portal going east is near Follis. The portals are well-hidden but my girl showed me how to get to them. I could still remember how to get there and how to use the portals, somewhat,” Daggerless answered.

“Ah? So you were that damned bastard lurking around with a demoness in tow throwing pranks at me back in the days.” Sarjay grabbed Daggerless’ collar and lifted him up.

“Ahahaha, those were just a prank, brethren!” Daggerless raised his hands.

“Making an entire town disappear is not ‘just a prank’!” Sarjay angrily shook Daggerless around.

“But I brought it baaack!”

“IN THE DAMNED OCEAN.”

“Alright, you two. You can kill each other later. We’ll stop by Follis first and stock up on supplies then we’ll head to the portal. Understood?” I formulated our plan. The group didn’t have any problems with leaving Angolia soon since the capital was partially destroyed. We’ll just come back when they fix this place up.

Heh heh heh. I couldn’t wait to meet those treehugging hippies and greenskinned rage-induced fellows!