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Necrotourists
Intermissions Period - 11: I don't get paid overtime for this, you know?

Intermissions Period - 11: I don't get paid overtime for this, you know?

I sat next to the carriage’s driver’s seat, enjoying the open air. There wasn’t much to do inside the carriage, so there wasn’t a reason to stay inside. Besides, Queen Ellysa was riding along with Lord Sarjay, and I was interested in their conversations.

Ellysa sat sideways on her horse, holding a cup of tea. From the untrained eye, she looked like she could fall any minute, but in reality, she was partially floating in the air. Even her tea set was floating in the air!

With no one but vampire thralls and living armors for escorts, Ellysa was free to use her powers, even for something as small as enjoying tea on horseback.

Given that she was hundreds of years old, and a vampire lady on top of that, this much wasn’t a big deal. Actually, as a spirit and a Cahalotian sorcerer, floating slightly off the ground was also doable, but Cahalotians were taught not to waste effort in useless things. Surrounded by enemies on all directions, one must be combat prepared at all times.

The only exception to this rule seemed to be my only friend, Yomi. Between attending the Sorcerer City’s evaluation tests, and teaching across the continent through proxy zombies, I wonder where she got the energy to do all of this?

But still, the fact that Master Yomi could control zombies all over the continent and teach through them by taking over the zombies’ bodies was already commendable. I doubt that there was any other necromancer that was stronger than her! If anything, I bet she would soon become the world’s first Archlich!

“Speaking of which, where’d you get her?” Sarjay pointed at me as he rode his own horse.

On the other side, Ellysa took a sip from her cup, then answered, “She came to me, marvelled by my beauty and power.”

“No, I did not!” I reflexively retorted.

“Oh. Seems like she didn’t. Doesn’t matter.” Ellysa shrugged.

“True. It must have been fate that she came to you. Fate to bring more bad luck to Boss!” Sarjay chuckled.

“Old man, you keep saying that, but you really miss him, don’t you?” Ellysa lowered her cup and gave the black knight a mischievous gaze.

“W-what are you talking about? Who cares about that bonehead?” Sarjay shook his hands in denial.

“Ku ha ha ha! Lord Sarjay! More like Grandfather Sarjay! Must I call you grandfather-in-law later, hmmm?” Ellysa tilted her head with a smile as she continued teasing the black knight.

“HAAAAALT!” A voice boomed across the forest. In front of us was a large stone arch, and on it was a shadowy figure. He jumped from the arch, just before he landed on the ancient road in front of us. The ground shook violently as the figure made himself known.

Standing upright on two hooves, this was a mighty minotaur that had probably fought numerous battles, and won every single one of them.

“If you wish to enter, you must challenge me, the guardian of this place!” The minotaur roared with confidence. “I had never been defeated! Except… maybe recently. But that didn’t count! It coincidentally was my lunch break! So, who dare challenge me to the death?!”

Instead of stopping, the carriage and its escorts ignored the minotaur as if nothing happened.

Eeeh? Guys? What about that… minotaur…Eh?

“W-wait! I said… WAIT!” The minotaur leapt from his location, then almost instantly appeared in front of us.

Only now did the two undeads noticed the minotaur.

“What is this?” Ellysa asked with an annoyed tone.

“What… is this? I am not a ‘what’! I am a ‘who’! And to answer your question, I will be your death!” The minotaur pounded the ground with the bottom of his axe handle. Without a doubt, that weapons was forged by ancient war smiths! Not only those weapons were strong, they also-

“RAEEAAAAAAAGHHHH!” A scream which sounded like hundreds of people crying out in unison came from Ellysa.

Ellysa’s figure immediately changed into a skin-less fleshy being. Her upper body splitted into three unequal masses of pink, fleshy tentacles, changing every minute, but it was clear that eyes, teeth, and blood veins protruded all over the tentacles. Even the light retreated from the cosmic horror that had intruded upon reality.

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This all happened in a split of a second. After that, she returned to normal, drinking her tea. She placed the cup down on a floating plate, then asked, “My death, you say?”

The minotaur stood defiantly for a second, looking straight back at her. He looked to the side, giving out the feeling that he was musing about something deeply. “My lady, you misheard me. I said it was my lunch time.”

Without saying anything else, he rested his axe against his shoulder, then left.

I spent the rest of the journey just contemplating about my life and wondering what I just witnessed.

“This… thing. Is this really a teleporter? I can’t sense any trace of magic,” Ellysa commented. When we arrived at the supposedly teleporter, I was also confused. At most, this looked just like a stone pavillion without any runes or gears to turn it.

“I also thought that, but it seemed to work anyway. For the first step, I have to assemble an array here…” Sarjay started to show Ellysa around the dome. Meanwhile, I ran my hand against the dome’s wall trying to unearth any hidden inscriptions, but I couldn’t find anything.

As a sorcerer, I didn’t want to admit defeat at being unable to check the authenticity of this building. I was hoping that if I could study or examine this ‘demon’ structure, I would gain more insights, but it seemed that was only a pipe dream.

“Don’t worry, spirit. Even Boss thought this was just a failed piece of art,” Lord Sarjay called out to me. The two undead beings finished their tour, and entered the stone dome.

“It must be how this structure had remained unnoticed for many years, other than the minotaur guardian barring the passage to this place,” I noted.

“What minotaur guardian?” Sarjay asked.

“The minotaur that blocked us, and… you know what? Forget what I said.” I tiredly waved my hand.

“I’ll begin activating the teleporter soon, but I must give you a few warnings,” Sarjay announced. “First, this is a one-way trip. Once you’re through, I can’t help you anymore.”

Ellysa nodded her head. “Doesn’t matter. As long as I get to my husband-to-be faster, I’m satisfied with that.”

“Secondly, the situation in Sayitsi is very dire. The moment you step onto elven soil… or snow, I wouldn’t know how they would react. I sent Angolia’s fastest skylord knight to give a message to the elves about your arrival, but I doubt he would be able to reach them in time for the teleportation.”

Understandably, Sayitsi was very far, even by flying on a skylord, it would take a few days. I heard a few rumors about the situation in the homeland of the elves, but rumors were rumors. Information going out of the Great Elven Forests was hard to come by, and now with a civil strife…

“If they stand against me, the entirety of Sayitsi will burn,” Ellysa proclaimed.

“That’ll spark a war against the dwarves and the elves, you know?” Sarjay sighed.

“There won’t be a war if there were no more elves,” Ellysa replied, tapping her head.

Don’t be so casual about genociding an entire race, please!

“Wait, speaking of which. Do you know anything about halflings?” Sarjay asked suddenly.

Ellysa raised her head, thinking. “Halflings? No. What are they? You know that different races can’t make a baby and-..”

“No, no. I mean, they’re a race that I used to know. They’re small. About this size.” Sarjay lowered his hand to a level.

“Dwarves?” I guessed.

“Please do not call my people ‘halflings’, spirit.” Ellysa shot a threatening gaze at me, prompting me to bow repeatedly in apology.

“Forget it. If you don’t know, there’s no use asking. I’m activating the teleporter now. Are you sure you don’t need my knights?” Sarjay offered.

As dwarven maids clad in armor took formations around their queen, Ellysa laughed. “My maids are more than enough to wreak havoc in any petty nation.”

“Very well. Stand close. Say hi to Boss for me, alright?” Sarjay waved farewell, then left the stone dome.

A minute later, a surge of mana erupted just as the stone dome’s walls started rotating, until it formed lightning arcs everywhere. I was captivated by the otherworldly power this teleporter was producing, while Ellysa looked annoyed at the increasing intensifying light.

My vision was blinded by a pure white light, but it didn’t last long. Soon, I found myself standing on snow… and a corpse… and lots of blood.

I looked around, and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Arrows, bolts, magic spells flew all over the place. Elves all over the place fought over debris fortresses, and giant antlered bears wrestled against each other. Not only there were elves fighting, but there were also orcs. They looked like prisoners of war, but were nevertheless being pressed to fight.

“Willomir guide us! Urrraaaaa!” An officer shouted amidst the chaos, leading a battalion of elves only to be decimated by an elf robed in full white. He carried an embroidered golden staff, summoning holy swords everywhere to cut the opposing army into pieces.

“Follow Deacon Aspenivsky!” Another elf wearing a thick white coat and a silver chainmail helmet commanded next to the said deacon.

Ellysa, who was watching the chaos next to me, shrugged disappointedly. “I proudly proclaimed I would destroy Sayitsi if they would stand against me, but to think they were already ahead of me…”

“Your Majesty, this…” I muttered.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Start sniffing!” She ordered as she snapped her fingers impatiently at me.

Sigh…

When can I get my rest, please?