Maven stared at me as I drank a cup of coffee. After drinking it all in one go, I placed the cup down onto the table in front of me. I stroked my chin and said, “This thing called coffee’s really good. How did you even make it?”
“Vakasa described to me a type of plant. I was confused at first since I never tried eating the plant before. It turns out that the seeds of these plants could be brewed into this.”
“Vakasa? Ah, right. Lard.”
“Hmpf! I would have corrected you harshly had you not been my only ticket to hidden undead powers! But of course, I will still correct you! It is Vakasa of the Darkness!” Lard pointed his own cup of coffee towards me, who was sitting across me.
We were inside Maven’s newly founded restaurant where I decided to try out all of Maven’s dishes (for free, of course). Although I felt like I was supposed to do something important, I decided to let my future me worry about it.
Kendra was unconscious with her head down on the table sitting next to me while Rookie served me some pie. According to him, after the prison break, his group decided to celebrate at Maven’s restaurant which led him to working for Maven.
“Huh, those guys lived? How’s the princess?” I asked Rookie.
“The woman they saved was a princess?” Rookie asked back.
“Princess?” Lard interjected briefly.
“Yeah. Also, another thing I’d like to note was that she may or may not know who I am,” I said as I cut a slice of pie.
“WHAT?! Isn’t that important?” Maven initially shouted but quieted her last few words down.
“I’m not sure. What do you want me to do? Get Beor to kill her or something? Fattie here knows that I’m a lich, should I kill him?”
“Now wait a minute! If I, Vakasa of the Darkness, were to be killed, it would’ve been for the purpose of being revived into something stronger! Thus I insist that you do not extinguish my life. That is, if you could even kill me, Vakasa of the Darkness!” Lard stood up and proceeded to create several new poses, changing every time he finished a sentence.
“Never mind that, I want to know if she’s dead or something,” I pushed Lard’s face off, trying to steer the conversation back.
“Isn’t the normal thing to ask if she’s okay?!” Maven retorted.
“I feel fine enough, Wise One.”
“Gah!” I twisted my body around and unintentionally knocked the table back slightly when I turned to face the elven princess wearing a hooded fur coat. I didn’t notice that she crept behind me so I nearly had a heart attack.
It was a good thing I don’t have a heart!
arc4illu3 [https://i.imgur.com/NKHdsCO.jpg]
“W-why are you here?” I asked as I nervously clutched my heart, somewhat cautious that my senses had gone dull over the past few days. Something in the capital doesn’t seem to sit well with me!
“Originally, I’ve come here to thank my savior, Sir Rook, but now that you’re here, I might as well pay my respects to you, too.” Princess Evergreen gave me a light bow, just lowering her head in a dignified manner.
Ooooooooooh! This feeling was extremely good! It wasn’t a full bow but it was still a bow filled with utter respect!
“Fu fu…Of course. Pay your respects to me, the Wise One!” I proudly pressed my hand against my hip and dismissively waved my hand. Though I look humble with my simple white robes and minimal armor, I still liked being praised now and then! Also, I felt like I was slowly becoming infected by Lard’s disease of making poses and saying one’s own name,
I should thoroughly scrub my body later…
“Rookie, prepare a chair for the princess and get her coffee, immediately!”
“That’s the princess?!” Lard interjected again.
“As you wish, Boss.” Rookie fixed the table up and left to get a cup of coffee.
“Oh no, I really can’t take advantage of your kindness.” The princess shook her hands trying to politely reject my offer.
“Nonsense! More younglings like you should learn to be more respectful to their elders! Come, I must show you the wonders of coffee which was invented by my subordinate!”
“Hey! I, Vakasa of the Darkness, introduced it to your minion. Also, I am a member of the heroes’ party so I’m kind of a big deal.” Lard pulled his hair back and gave a confident smile at the princess while leaning against the table.
“He…ro party? A hello party?”
“The group of heroes that will save the world!” Lard was confused and tried to explain.
“Save…from whom? The Union?”
“Aren’t you from the Union?!” This time Lard turned to me, silently asking me for help. I rolled my eyes and tried to signal him back that he was on his own until I forgot I had no eyes.
If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“So, princess, how’d you get out of jail?” I asked Evergreen, trying to look innocent and unrelated to the prison raid.
“Jail?!” Lard added.
“A few starving elves, the traditionalists and Sir Rook helped my escape. Currently, the unionists are trying to hunt us down but I should be safe as long as I keep my hood low enough. After all, not many have seen me so it would be hard trying to find me.”
What kind of story was that? I would’ve burst into laughter if I heard that a group of starving elves busted through a maximum security prison. Only reason I wasn’t laughing was because those two ‘starving elves’ were Beor and I.
“Princess Evergreen, I am flattered that you call me ‘Sir’, but I am not a knight. I serve Boss loyally for the rest of my life.”
“You aren’t? I apologize for my presumptuousness! I was locked up for a long time so I’m not sure how to…interact with people. But still, you are a servant of the Wise One. That is still a position of esteem.”
“So, princess, why do you keep calling me Wise One? Not that I have a problem with it, I’m simply curious.”
“I’m not exactly sure as the story wasn’t completely passed down to me when the unionists seized control. My father simply told of a wise human who managed to get past the first barrier of learning magic…”
“Ha? I’m called that just because of that reason? I’m touched but isn’t that sort of an easy barrier? Come on! If that’s the case, wouldn’t my apprentice qualify?” I pointed at my half-dead apprentice still snoring on the table with a pool of drool forming under her face.
“Her? She’s young, isn’t she? That’s amazing! I was locked inside a cell for so long that magic had already advanced this far!” Princess Evergreen’s eyes gleamed with admiration towards my apprentice.
“Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, princess. Just to be clear, Boss’ apprentice is just like that because she’s his apprentice. I am extremely sure the barrier of learning magic still exists,” Maven threw in some explanation.
“Is that so? Wouldn’t that make you more amazing then, Wise One? Thinking it is child’s play to have your student to master the arts of mana manipulation…” This time, Evergreen’s eyes of admiration was shifted to me.
“I’m also amazing! I am Vakasa of the Darkness, Dark Prince of the Atlantean Space 12th Empire! I am a symbol of total respect in where I come and the lower classes grovel in my presence!” Lard stood up with an amazingly exaggerated pose. Unfortunately for him, a hand landed on his back.
“Pavyit, comrade! I heard you are of royal blood. Monarchies on our land are to be executed. For the glory of the Union!”
A pair of guard came here to check out the crowd forming and overheard Lard. I reached and pulled down Evergreen’s hood, trying to hide her from the guards.
“W..wait! No! I’m a hero! Not actually a prince! I was just joking and…and making fun of princes and kings! Ha ha ha! You saw how stupid I looked?!”
At this, the guard’s firm grip on Lard’s shoulder relaxed and the pair of guards broke into laughter.
“Ahahaha! True, true! You looked so dumb making those poses and screaming such nonsense. It’s true, vah? The monarchs always scream nonsense and we don’t understand any of it!” One of the guards turned to the other and started laughing.
“Vah, comrade! Very true!”
Lard’s entire body was shaking so much that the moment the guards left him alone, he simply slumped down onto his chair. I leaned closer to Evergreen and whispered to her, “Don’t make a sound and don’t move.”
I cocked my head at Maven and pointed at the guards with my chin. She promptly left to deal with them in her own way while I awkwardly tapped my table in silence. I lifted my cup and forgot that it was empty. Damn it, where was my refill?
“As you can see, it’s all potatoes,” Maven explained as she showed the guards a plate of potatoes.
“Vah, vah, I see. We were simply getting reports that there were non-potatoes in this area. Have a glorious day in the Union, comrade.” The guards lifted their hat and turned to leave.
“Here you go, Boss. I knew you wanted a refill so I also brought you a new cup.” At last, Rookie had come to give me my cup of coffe-…
“Wait a minute. Comrade, weren’t we looking for a huge lizardman?”
“Vah, looking at that large thing over there…” Both of the guards stopped when they saw Rookie.
I sighed with a lowered head as I casually waved my hand. My vampire Lucia came out from the floor and covered everything in darkness, making it seem like all the lights had died and night had suddenly arrived. Maven took this opportunity to dash towards the guards and beyond my expectations, someone else leapt onto the guards.
Plunging a knife at one of the guard’s neck and flipping towards the next one, the small figure flawlessly executed both of them without excess movements. Rhylla, the unassuming, timid botanist of mine, disappeared almost as soon as she appeared.
What the hell?! I could’ve used this person in my prison raid!
Maven, on the other hand, used magic to open the wooden floor beneath the guards so they would buried under the floor. It would’ve looked like two guards just disappeared without a trace.
As soon as they were done with their business, Lucia released her power and the light came back. All of this took a minute or less without anyone noticing. The elves just got alarmed by the suddenly blackout but didn’t panic too much.
“Sorry, comrades! There was lightning problems so continue enjoying your food!” Maven announced while laughing nervously. The elves sitting on the tables replaced their plates of potatoes with other dishes. It seemed that the elves already knew what to do when guards come.
Not only that, Maven had already made the restaurant prepared for situations such as this. With that said, I could confidently make this one of my hang out areas while the heroes train for a month!
“By the way, princess, the guards are gone.”
“What was that? I felt a sudden torrent of mana surging before it completely disappeared.” Evergreen scanned the restaurant before turning her eyes to me. In response, I shrugged innocently.
“Also, I’m curious. Are you just walking around the city like you own the place? I’m afraid to tell you that you don’t technically own the place until you displace those who overthrew you in the first place.” I tried to steer her attention away.
“No, I’m actually under protection of the traditionalists. They were busy with trying to find the starving elves that helped me and they wouldn’t allow me to leave their hideout. Needless to say, I snuck out so I suppose I should be going now. They might be worried sick.”
“You’re leaving already? You haven’t tried the coffee.” I pointed at the coffee on the table.
“Cough-e? Ah…I apologize once more, Wise One. How about next time we meet?” Evergreen gave her farewells then left in a hurry. I snapped my finger and Horatio came to my calling. He popped out of my shadow, wearing a ‘Suck the Life Force of the Cook’ apron which looked bizarre on him. Then again, this weird shark teeth freak was bizarre in the first place.
“Trail her and have one of my companions guard her from the shadows.”
With that done, what was I supposed to do? Oh well, I had two cups of coffee to myself. Lard had apparently pissed himself into unconsciousness. I lifted my cup and raised it towards my mouth when Kendra twitched.
“GWAH?! Where am I? Am I dead?!” She jumped up, sitting upright. Noticing the pool of drool on her face and the table, she grabbed a piece of cloth and started cleaning herself and the table in embarrassment. I was simply wondering how she managed to sleep through the entire time.
Oh well…this is some good coffee.