Gathered around a large street were groups of elves of different backgrounds, from the simple peasant to the ones working in the manufactrees. The manufactrees are apparently large industrial trees built for large-scale production. How they operate would soon come to fruition once Beor gathered enough information on those manufactrees.
Unfortunately, Beor has to help me in this auspicious day, for today was the day I prove Rookie innocent of his crimes. I just have to continuously shoot down every accusation that comes down his way for three days straight, and he’ll be free. Easy.
With a wooden stage placed upon the main street, a lot of people were able to see the court in progress as it was set to be open for everyone. At the stage were podiums, one of the podiums higher than the other ones, denoting where the high judge would sit at. The high judge for today was an elf wearing a thick brown coat with a fur hat. His gray hair and wrinkles on his face showed his age, and his scar along his left eye gave him a serious composure.
“Next, prisoner 561252. Former State-approved name, Aviy Bushisov. Crime: Theft of State Property. Get up on the podium, you scum,” The judge announced as the guards tossed an elf onto the stage. He quickly got up onto the podium to face the crowd, allowing all to see his nervous face. With crazed eyes and chattering teeth, he clearly doesn’t look like a sane person.
“…H..how is stealing from that damned old man considered stealing from the state?!”
“You fool. Everything on top of and below the Union belongs to the Union, from your belongings to your very own body. Now,” The judge faced the crowd and sighed tiredly, “Is anyone willing to defend this trash?”
After waiting for a few seconds, nobody had answered and the judge knocked his hammer against a wooden slab, beginning the trial.
“Prisoner 561252, on the night of 15th Sicklesyats, you stole a bag of potatoes from the state. The state being the old man Kuzma Dmitree. How will you defend yourself?”
“T..that….H..how would you know if the old man was lying?!”
“A patrol of six saw you rob the old man. It would be the word of the old man and the guardsmen against yours.”
“Bias! I call bias against me! It’s obvious you’re…you’re personally biased! Those elf guards are probably your buddies! That old man is probably your friend!” The elf slammed his podium with his chained hands, slightly foaming at his mouth.
“Hey! You can’t call Judge Greenton biased!”
“That’s right! Judge Greenton is the most corrupt-free judge in the Union! No…not that the other judges are corrupt, mind you! Don’t arrest me!”
The mass started booing the accused and were defending the judge. I leaned to my side, to where Beor was standing, to hear some hard concrete fact instead of popular opinion.
“It’s true. There are no mentions or rumors of him being bribed, biased or being corrupted. They say that he’s also the secret head of the anti-corruption department in the Union’s government.”
“That’s good, I guess. All we have to do is show him the straight facts.” I nodded and started to think to myself.
The trial went on, with the mass judging the accused and the state-appointed judge leading the trial proceedings. The crowd was mostly just giving the punishments to the guilty and going along with the head judge’s decisions.
Most trials only lasted a few minutes. There were some who tried to defend their friends but would usually fail in less than ten minutes. I saw the guards dragging an oversized apeman and I sighed at the realization that it was time.
“Prisoner 49968, Ts’…Tsoo….mm..Tsook?” The judge had to bring the paper he was holding closer to his face. Upon hearing his name being mispronounced, Rookie shouted, “It is pronounced Ts’tsku’Rook, my good sir!”
“It does not matter for you are Prisoner 49968 to me. Crime: Grand Theft. Caught attempting to steal the Union’s finest mana crystal which is used to stabilize the Kreylin Citadel. This is a very serious crime, who is willing to defend this fodder in vain?” The judge had expected the usual and raised his hammer but was stopped.
“I WILL!” I proclaimed as I got up on the stage. The crowd murmured at the entrance of a mysterious robed man. Behind me was Beor who held a briefcase packed with evidence I needed.
“Oh? It seems that you are one of those ambassadors that I’ve heard. Everyone is allowed to participate in defending the criminal so I have no choice but to allow you. Now let us begin. May the prosecutors get up and start this trial?”
As the judge said that, a bearded elf with the standard military brown coat lined with medals got up on the prosecutor’s podium. His smile went from cheek to cheek and his scar across his face helped him give the sinister look.
“I am Commissar Alexei Junipov and I was tasked by the state to overwatch the security of the Kreylin. That dog dared encroach upon my jurisdiction! This could’ve tainted my records but fear not, fellow workers of the Union, for I have an ever watchful eyes!”
“Yes, yes. Could you please get on with it?” The judge waved his hand impatiently at the commissar.
“Ahem. Let us begin then.”
----------------------------------------
COURT SESSION 1
“The trial for Prisoner 49968 will begin,” The judge announced and the crowd watching us went silent.
“The prosecution is ready, Your Honor,” Alexei fixed his coat and wiped the snow gathering on his shoulders.
“The defense is ready to destroy that elf’s smirk!” I spun and pointed at my opponent.
“Boss, I don’t think you…never mind.” Beor shrugged and allowed me to continue.
The commissar coughed loudly and began, “The accused and guilty, Prisoner 49968 is a person of unknown race, unknown origin and unknown intents. We have no records of Prisoner 49968 other than his name. We do not know how he entered the Union nor do we know how he managed to get into the capital of Mosovo without any proper identification.
It has come to my attention that this scum, enemy of the Union and trash attempted to get into the Kreylin Citadel and attempted to sabotage it by destroying one of the largest mana crystal in the Union!
Come, my people, my fellows. It is obvious the foreigners are trying to bring the Union down, but in Sayitsi, the Union brings them down!”
The crowd cheered and roared at Alexei’s opening. Clearly the crowd was easily impressed so I have no choice but to be as entertaining as he was. I slammed my table, straightened my arm and pointed at him.
“BULLSHIT!”
OBJECT-I mean...ugh... [http://i.imgur.com/5Su9XNy.jpg]
“…W..what?” The judge was surprised at my sudden action.
“Your Honor! I can tell you that bastard is a liar that thought the crowd is dull-minded and are a bunch of sheep! But I could tell the people on this very street are extremely sharp witted and will not falter to any lies!” I opened my arms and faced the crowd, rousing them to my side.
“Ah? He was lying…I…of course I knew that! I’m smart just like he said!”
“The commissar was lying?!”
“Yes! If you didn’t know, you are an idiot just like what that man said!”
The crowd whispered among themselves and I could tell that the seeds of doubt were being placed with staggeringly scary efficiency. Staggering scary for the commissar, that is. After all, I just needed to win the crowd over, right?
“What do you mean by that, huh?! How could you prove that I am a liar?! This is all baseless lies!” The commissar slammed his table and gripped his fists hard.
I held my hand to my back and Beor passed me some documents. I held the documents up high and boasted it with confidence.
“These are proof that what he said was nonsense! Your Honor, if you may please.” I handed the documents to the high judge and he silently accepted them. Looking over it, he raised one of his eyebrows and examined it thoroughly.
“What I just gave to the high judge was Rookie’s…I mean…Prisoner 49something something’s documents which includes his travel pass, identification and letter of study! Thus, the commissar had blatantly accused the state of not being able to do its job properly when in fact, it had! This Alexei person should be renamed Scumbagei instead!”
The crowd collectively gasped at the evidence and looked on to Judge Greenton as he studied the documents.
“That’s quite true. This is his identification. He’s an apeman, apparently. A rare one, too. This one is also proper…” The high judge shuffled the bundle and nodded at each of them. I gave a mocking shrug and wiped my nose towards the commissar.
The elf’s pale face was dyed red in rage and I could tell that he no longer needed to wipe the snow off his coat as it melted off from the heat generated from his anger.
“You, you, you! How did you get those…No..I mean…How would we know if he just forged them?! He could have just faked them and passed it to those lazy border guards who should be sent to the work groves!” The commissar attempted to counterattack.
“That’s true…” The judge nodded as he started to doubt the authenticity of the paper as well. However…
I threw my fist down at the table and pointed at the commissar, “Impossible! Your Honor, if you would please look at who signed and stamped those papers!”
“This is…Ah! Commissar Alexei Junipov’s stamps and signs! These are indeed authentic!”
“That’s right! I’ve studied the administration of this state and it could be said that the enchanted stamp and pen given to the highest of the commissars are truly unique and unforgeable! Could it be that Commissar Junipov allowed a traitor in or is he just incompetent that he managed to allow someone else steal his stamp and pen?!”
The crowd started getting rowdy and heated up as my counterattack swooped in one by one. Hmpf, I am not a thousand years old for nothing!
“No..I…” The commissar’s eyes shifted left and right as he tried to find his answers. Obviously hiding the evidence backfired on him. “But wait, I could…”
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Enough. The hour of trial is about to go by. If you have anything else to say, you may continue on the second day. My people, you may now vote as I shall. I call Prisoner 49968 – Not Guilty!” The judge stamped his gavel down against his block of wood.
As expected, the crowd unanimously voted ‘Not Guilty’ for today, as well. I slide one of my fingers across my neck and gave Alexei a thumbs down. The commissar vowed revenge and swore to come back tomorrow with victory in tow.
With the trial for Rookie over, the guards escorted him back to prison. I jogged up to him to share a few words until he reaches his lonely cell once more.
“I must say, I am quite impressed with that.”
“Of course, I did not stay living for a thousa-…” Remembering the elf guards, I quickly changed my words, “…for a very long time for nothing! Tomorrow, we’ll beat that commissar once more.”
“We’ll see.”
“That was good, but I don’t get cocky,” Beor warned and I laughed. We were back at our quarters and I was busy organizing documents at my table.
“These elves play dirty, but playing dirty also has a rule book. Thus, we just have to play using the same rule book, except I made the book, fools!” I confidently pointed at myself with my thumb.
“Truly the most sinister of all undead and living, Boss. This is why I follow you, mehhehehehheh.”
“Never do that evil laugh ever again. That was creepy and weird. Horatio told me that you were doing weird things to some priso-…”
“NO! I DID NOT! WHERE IS HE SO I CAN FLAY HIM?”
“Unfortunately for you, he is not here. He has a task and so do we. Quick, give me information on the judge for tomorrow. I have to prepare my arguments against that damned commissar. I am sure that he would have a trick up his sleeves.
Beor handed me a piece of paper and I quickly looked it over. This was information related to the judge for tomorrow and looking at it, I couldn’t help but laugh. I leaned forward and held the piece of paper with both hands.
“This isn’t a prank, right?” I asked Beor.
“No, why?”
“Heh…heh…MWHAHAHAHA. IT’S LIKE THEY’RE MAKING THIS INTENTIONALLY EASY.”
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COURT SESSION 2
Once again, the crowd gathered onto the main street to watch the court trial. However, it was bigger than yesterday because people were interested in seeing Rookie’s trial. It wasn’t that people were not found innocent before, a few people had already been found innocent in the past. However, the number of such cases was few and seeing it in action was exciting for the crowd.
The prosecutor Commissar Alexei Junipov was already at his side of the stage, impatiently waiting for the court to start. A fat elf got up on the stage and walked by Alexei. The commissar turned and saluted the elf.
“So, you’re today’s High Judge, Anatoliy Barkkei? It is nice to see you in good health as usual. Is that a new coat? It looks very expensive and nice on you. Do you remember our agreement?”
“Indeed, Commissar Alexei Junipov. I see you’re here trying to work hard trying to prove you’re not incompetent. Let’s get this over with already.” The high judge dismissed Junipov’s compliments and got up on his podium. He knocked his gavel and announced, “Ya-dah ya-dah blah blah, we know how this is going, let’s start this damned thing already. I’d like to get to my hot bath…I mean work.”
“Once again, we’re here to prove that Prisoner 49968 is an enemy of the Union and deserves death penalty on the crimes of sabotaging the greatest citadel in the Union, the Kreylin. The administration seem to have…misplaced his identities, but I still have reasons to believe it was that person over there is the one responsible for the recent sabotage!” The commissar started off with his offense. I placed myself on the defensive, pointing back at him.
“Oh, yeah? Where’s your proof?!”
The commissar responded with holding documents up, just like how I did yesterday. They were brand new papers, probably made recently.
“Through my investigations, I have traced what this person had done during the past few days. In fact, it was only a month since he had entered the Union. A few weeks ago, he reached Mosovo from the border town of Revolution Fields, and had already been working with finding ways to get into the citadel illegally.”
“…O..oh yeah? Like I said, show me proof!” I shouted.
“Prisoner 49968 had stayed on a tavern nearby and the tavern keeper had overheard his discussion with an accomplice. Bring the man’s accomplice up, as well. Starting from now, this is a double trial for Prisoner 49968 and Prisoner 49969.” The commissar waved his hand towards a group of guards and they threw a scrawny looking man onto the stage.
“Ro…Rook! Holy crap! I thought they killed you!” The man pushed his broken glassed up and ran next to Rookie. I tilted my head at Rookie and he raised his hands, trying to tell me something.
Was he the scum that blackmailed Rookie into doing such criminal acts?! No one threatens my companions! I whistled at that scrawny looking man to get his attention and I cracked my knuckles.
“E..EHHHH?!” The man hid behind Rookie screaming and the giant food abomination facepalmed.
“This is my classmate, Torben,” Rookie explained. Oh, ok.
“It matters not, those are lies until proved to be the truth!” Commissar Alexei snarled at Rookie.
“Commissar, what is the point of bringing them up?” The judge grunted at Alexei.
“You see, Your Honor, these men were heard to be conspiring into breaking into the citadel. May I call upon the witness, Tavern keeper Rosatov?”
Upon calling, an elderly woman got up onto the middle of the stage. With an arched back, ordinary pink dress and a fur hat, she had the sort of grandmotherly look.
“Babuyivka, you overheard these swines planning to attack the citadel?” The commissar asked the old woman.
“Yes, yes! It was them! A large beastman and a thin looking human that obviously never tried potato borsch!” She accusingly pointed at the two. The crowd gasped when she ended her sentence, as if it was a crime to not try potato borsch. Wait, I think it actually is. The old woman went on to explain in detail on how they were planning on sapping through the walls and into the Kreylin itself.
“You’ve heard it, my people! A witness to explain how guilty these two are! Justice is on our side, and so do the gallows!” The commissar raised his fist with confidence and the crowd roared with excitement.
Once again, I slammed the table with my fist and pointed at him while screaming, “BULLSHIT! She could be lying!”
“Please, young man! This frail babuyivka would never lie! You should try some of my baked potato pie later…” The old woman nervously rubbed her hands with a sullen face.
“Babuyivka, I shall handle it here. According to her, Prisoner 49968 and Prisoner 49969 planned on attacking on the night of 20th Sayitsyats. Babuyivka, on which day did both Prisoner 49968 and Prisoner 49969 checked out of your tavern?”
“20th Sayitsyats…Ah! That’s it! They left to break into the greatest citadel in the Union!”
The crowd murmured at the new revelation. The commissar had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face, but unfortunately for him, if I could smile, I would’ve also had a shit-eating grin. I could also tell that the commissar timed this since the one hour was about to finish, leaving me with no time to find any contradictions in her testimony.
Oh well. I simply shrugged at him and yawned. This caused the commissar’s eyes to twitch and he quickly turned to the high judge.
“Judge Barkkei! The hour is about to be done! Give your verdict so that the people know you are the side of justice!”
“I see…hmm…I declare Not Guilty.” The judge lifted his gavel and lightly knocked on his gavel.
“WHAT?!”
“Ergh…you see, it could simply just be coincidence. I also left my house on 20th Sayitsyats, I could be a criminal, is that what you’re implying?” The judge accused Alexei back.
“Er..no…I…”
The crowd was confused and decided to go with Judge Barkkei’s verdict, declaring Rookie ‘Not Guilty’ for the day as well. With the trial done, Barkkei started leaving the stage. He went onto my direction and when he was close enough, I ‘dropped’ a heavy bag of coins on his way.
“Oh dear, how careless of me.” The judge coughed and silently picked the bag up, leaving the stage as if nothing happened.
“You! I don’t know what you’ve done! But I’ll surely return with victory tomorrow!” The commissar stormed off and the crowd dispersed confused.
“Good job with bribing the judge before and after the job, Boss. That was a very sly move, though not surprising coming from you,” Beor complimented me and I waved it off, laughing.
“Ha, that elf was fat despite half of the Union starving. Everyone’s riches are equal so why does he have an impressive mansion with such a simple job of a judge? People should be more suspicious of others more, you know? It was obvious that the damned commissar also bribed the judge, but in the end, I had better treasures that had been accumulated for the past thousand years! Back in the old days…”
“Yes, yes, Boss. I was probably there also so let’s just retire for the day. Let’s not get too cocky now.”
“Bah, I could just break Rookie out with my eyes closed tomorrow.”
“You don’t even have eyelids, Boss.”
----------------------------------------
COURT SESSION 3
This is bad. The trial wasn’t going according to my plan. To be honest, I didn’t even have a plan so…
“As you can see from this, we have brought a section of the Kreylin walls to prove to you that it was them!” The commissar pointed at a large section of a wooden wall with a hole on it. The mad man who was trying to desperately save his job even ordered the section of the wall be brought into the trial just to prove that Rookie was the one that snuck into the Kreylin. Holy crap.
“You can see from the shape of the hole that it would just perfectly fit the bigger of the two. My soldiers will now measure the sides of Prisoner 49968.”
“W..wait! What if you just made the hole on purpose?!”
“HA HA HA! YOU FOOL! YOU THINK I WOULD DESTROY A PART OF THE KREYLIN?!”
“BUT YOU BROUGHT THE DAMNED THING HERE!”
“Order! ORDER!” The current judge knocked his gavel against his wooden block. “The measurements add up. I accept this large wall section as evidence!”
Fucking bullshit!
“Also, a few crystals were damaged from his sabotage and it took me time to get them but look!” Commissar Alexei held up a large crystal the size of his head. The crystal had some kind of corrosion on its side and the crowd gasped at the damage.
“Prisoner 49968 is capable of damaging the crystal to this extent thanks to his particular ability! Prisoner 49968, I order you to lick or spit at this mana crystal!” The commissar held up a brand new mana crystal, one without any damage. Hesitantly, Rookie used his long elastic tongue to lick on the crystal, causing its side to melt.
“As you can see, the effect is similar! It is truly undeniable! Not only this, I have also come to realize something big!” The commissar haphazardly tossed both crystals onto the floor, causing both of them to shatter. Weren’t those precious?
“When the guards chased after some suspects who broke into the Kreylin, they reported that one of the suspect’s skin was ‘sticky’ and ‘wet’. I thought hard on this and realized something.
There are a few types of races that have such corrosive spit. In fact, the orcs have friendly relationships with a specific race that has corrosive spit. Could anyone guess which race is it? I’ll give you hint. Prisoner 49968, bring your face closer to me, I need to tell you something,” The commissar ordered and Rookie had no choice but to do what he was told. He brought his face forward and the commissar quickly wiped at Rookie’s face, tearing off his moustache.
“BEHOLD! THIS IS NOT AN APEMAN! THIS PRISONER IS A TYPE OF LIZARDMAN!”
The crowd gasped at the reveal. They looked at Rookie and back at me. Right, he was a walking pile of rotting food, but how the hell was I going to prove that? That’ll just want them to kill him more!
“This man had faked his identity! That is undeniable! After all, the evidence had shown that he was an apeman! Why would anyone try to hide their true race, and a race that’s a potential enemy of the Union?!
What do you have to say for that, Mr. Attorney?!”
I bit my thumb down. Damn it, he got me good. I didn’t expect him to bring all of his trump card all at the last day. I turned to my back and looked at Beor.
“Why didn’t you tell me of the wall and the crystal?!”
“The wall section was covered by construction. I didn’t think it was relevant. I’m not an omnipotent information god, you know?” Beor shrugged.
“I’ve seen enough. My verdict is ‘Guilty’. Both Prisoner 49968 and Prisoner 49969 are to be shot by firing squad. End of the trial.” With the knock of his gavel comes the end of the trial.
I…I lost?! Impossible! I am a thousand year old Archlich! I will not lose to that elf with that shit-eating grin! Only I get to look down upon other people! I clicked my non-existent tongue and decided to just end this miserable place and laugh at their corpses!
I snapped my finger…
…
…
Er…
I snapped my finger.
…
“What’re you doing?” Beor whispered at me.
“I’m trying to turn this place into a natural disaster monument. However, I can’t command any of the mana. In fact, the mana in this place is…”
“…Is it like back then? More than a thousand years ago?”
“…Yeah…”
“The trial of both Prisoner 49968 and Prisoner 49969 have concluded. The attorney, please leave. Guards, take both prisoners away. We will have the execution at a later date. Next prisoner! This filth, two days ago, called every judge corrupted!” The judge announced.
“Well, well, well. Maybe next time you shouldn’t try to mess with the Head Commissar of Defense of Kreylin, filthy bourgeoisie,” Alexei simply taunted me before leaving the stage. As I got down the stage, a few kids of the heroes’ party ran up to me.
“Teacher! You’ve been here the entire time? We’ve been looking for you!” Blackhair was the first to greet me.
“Ugh…what do you kids want? How’d the talk with the elven ambassadors go?”
“For some reason, instead of an ambassador, we met with the leader of the elves, the Premier himself. He apparently knew that we were here to stop the elf-orc war…We couldn’t keep it a secret anymore so we, the heroes, agreed to help defend the elves,” Blackhair explained.
“Why the hell would you agree to that? That’s more work…I mean…you know, that’s not exactly stopping a war.”
“The premier suspected that the demons could be manipulating the orcs since the mana in this place is heavily suppressed with the use of the mana crystals. If the orcs come, surely a demon would be leading them.”
The mana crystals…Could it be the source of the fluctuation in levels of magic in this place? I judged that I couldn’t use my strongest spells, but I could still use a few high level spells including the sound barrier I used before. This was still a cause for concern…
“What were you doing up on that stage anyway? What did you do?” Aera asked me, tilting her head towards the huge group of peasants cheering as the next prisoner gets sentenced to the work groves.
“Nothing. I’m going to be busy so you guys run off and have fun with helping your elf buddies.”
“What will you do?” Aera asked.
“Nothing big. I’ll probably just cause a massive prison break, that sort of silly stuff.” I gave them a backwards wave and ran off before I could hear any of them retort. It’s been a while since I’ve used snuck around but…
“Just like the old days, huh, Boss?”
“Can’t compare now to the old days, Beor. Come on, I’ll need your help in my next shenanigan.”