I woke up with a startle.
The endless dark void I was drowning in suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a warm home. I was sitting on a wooden chair in front of a table full of freshly made food. The stew was still piping hot, and the porridge was still in the serving pot sitting on the table.
“Are you alright, Kendra?” a man sitting across me asked. He pulled down the bundle of newspaper he was reading, and looked at me with concern in his eyes. “You look kind of pale. Are you sick? Perhaps you shouldn’t go today…”
“What’s that, dear? Our Kendra’s sick? Especially on the first day of schooling?” a woman’s voice resounded across the room. A young woman with braided brown hair was busy cooking up something on the kitchen stove but stopped to check up on me.
“Huh? No, I’m fine,” I answered as I shook my head. I knitted my eyes close, trying to clear this headache I was dying from. What was I doing again?
“If you say so. Don’t scare Papa like that, alright? My poor heart won’t be able to take it,” the man said.
“Sorry, Boss,” I muttered.
“Hmm? Boss? Come on, don’t be like that. Did I do something wrong?” the man sighed with despair.
“Aha, what’s this? Our little Kendra’s already in her rebellious age? My friend said her own son stopped calling his father ‘Daddy’ quite some time ago, you know?” the woman cheekily teased the man as she fixed the fire on the furnace.
“No way! I can’t have my little Kendra not call me ‘Papa’!” the man cried.
“Huh? What do you mean? I had always called you…” My voice died down when the words wouldn’t leave my throat. It was like a name of a song I couldn’t remember, but it was just stuck on the tip of my tongue.
No, more accurately, it was like I remembered the name of the song, but not the song itself.
Boss?
Who did I ever called that?
Was the person in front of me my father?
I turned around and inspected my house. It was somewhat small, but it wasn’t poor. It just felt so… cramped, somehow. On the wall, there were some paintings.
Getting off my chair, I went to inspect the paintings. There was a portrait of me, the man, and the woman, standing together like a family, probably painted through magical means. I stared at the faces on the portrait, trying to remember something. I didn’t know what.
Worse still, I didn’t even know what I didn’t know.
Papa…
Have I ever called anyone that?
Was there anyone like that?
No. Impossible. I was always alone.
Wait, was I ever alone?
On the portrait, the painting of the man and woman slowly faded away. The smile of the little girl on the picture slowly disappeared as well until all that was left was a portrait of a lonely little girl.
I clutched my chest. There was a stinging pain in me, but I didn’t know where it was. My eyes shuddered as my vision blurred.
I wanted to cry for help, but from who?
Of course...
Him.
Master…
Boss…
I quickly turned to the man sitting at the table. He was holding up the newspaper, covering himself. Other than the fact that the woman was gone, everything else still stayed the same.
“Papa?” I called out weakly.
“Funny story about that…” the man’s voice was different. It wasn’t alien like the previous one, and I felt a wave of relief washing over me as I felt nostalgic.
The person closed the newspaper and placed it down onto the table, revealing a masked man wearing thin white robes. He leaned back on his chair then continued, “I never had anyone call me that, really. Never had kids, you see.”
I knitted my brows then tilted my head slightly. “Nobody loved you?”
“HOW RUDE!” the man retorted as he swung his fist at the air. “I’ll have you know, my mother and father loved me like any other kids. Also, I had a wife, but she passed away long time ago. So, ha!”
“You actually had a wife?” I instinctively chaffed.
“I was a lucky man,” the man nodded proudly.
With those out of the way, I decided to drop my gaze slightly lower…
“And, no! I am NOT impotent. Thank you very much,” the man called out as he angrily waved his hand. “Besides, if I ever wanted kids, technology and magic are very advanced nowadays, you know?”
“Really? Are you going to…conjure mud children?” I skeptically asked.
“Heh heh heh…No, I would use the most advanced and complex technology available to mortalkind - ADOPTION!”
“That’s neither advanced nor complex!” I retorted.
At last, my head felt clear and I took a deep breath. Once I calmed down, I sat back down on the chair in front of the robed man. I realized that I felt uncomfortable sitting with the unknown man earlier, but with this masked weirdo, I didn’t feel a single trace of unease.
He threw the newspaper out of the way, then began scoffing down the meal on the table. It was almost as if he was inhaling everything without pause.
“You know, your mom makes great food,” the man remarked.
I ignored him, then looked around the house. “This house isn’t mine, right?”
The man took a swig from the jug of water then answered, “You’re technically and somewhat correct. Paradoxically, this is both your house, and not your house. You lived in this house, but you didn’t.”
I sighed then leaned against the table. I realized (or perhaps already expected) that I wouldn’t get any straight answers from him so I decided to scoop myself some food before he inhales everything.
After a few bites, I nodded reflexively. “You’re right. This is pretty good. But… she wasn’t my mom, right?”
“You’re technically and somewhat correct. Paradoxi-”
“Are you a broken arcane recorder?” I cut him off. “Why am I here?”
At this question, he finally stopped moving his arms. He placed down his utensils then cleaned his mask with a tablecloth before answering, “You know, I’m impressed. Most normal people wouldn’t have realized that they didn’t belong here in the first place. Well, to be fair, because you are my student, you’re not normal already.”
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“And?”
“And so, I wouldn’t mind giving you hints.” He pointed at the only door in the room, and beckoned me to check it out. The top part of the door was a window, but it was covered with curtains.
I left my seat, then pushed the curtain aside to see nothing but sunlight, like a sea of yellow flooding the world. I slowly opened the door, then stood still, unsure whether to continue or not.
“Go,” the man called out.
I gathered my confidence, then stepped through the door.
My vision blacked out, and I felt like I was falling in the air. I instinctively grabbed upwards, not expecting something so soft to grab hold of my hands.
When my sight returned to me, I saw a young girl with long brown hair helping me up.
Iova?
“Hey, hey. Come on, now. Those dumb kids didn’t even bother apologizing when they bumped into you. Are you fine?” the young Iova asked.
I felt tears creeping up on my eyes. My chest felt tight, and words couldn’t describe what I wanted to shout out. I could feel moisture dropping upon the slightly worn out dress I was wearing.
“Aaaah, you’re really hurt, huh? Don’t you worry, though! This big sister is actually an apprentice magic healer!” the tiny Iova proudly stuck out her chest, then began casting a spell.
It was a weak healing spell, but it was enough to heal the bruises and cuts I had on my legs.
I remember this...
Yes! I remember this! This place is…
I looked around, and my memories started flowing back in. The old stone streets, the fountain in the middle of the plaza, the bustling street filled with sorcerers, and most of all… the girl in front of me.
“What’s your name?” Iova asked.
“K-...” I stuttered, then composed myself. “Kendra.”
“Heh heh. I’m Iova! You don’t look like you’re from here, right? Must be why those dumb kids picked a fight with you. But don’t worry, you can rely on me like a big sister,” Iova assured.
Those same lines…
Why was this happening?
Did I go back in time?
Then… could I fix the mistakes of my past?
Could I…
“Ah, there you are. Wow, you’re tiny,” Once again that annoying familiar voice butted in.
“Whoa! A weirdo! Stand behind me, Kendra! I’ll protect you!” Iova shielded me against Boss as he approached.
“I’m not a weirdo!” Boss retorted.
“Only weirdos say that!” Iova accused.
“You little punk!” Boss fumed.
“You big creeper!” Iova shouted back.
“Why did I agree on bringing you back?! You’re so annoying!” Boss yelled.
“Bring me back? I knew it! You’re a kidnapper, huh?!” Iova raised a hand towards Boss, trying to form a small shield between us and him.
Just before things escalate, especially since people were beginning to look this way, I intervened and said, “Wait, Iova! This is my teacher!”
“Haaaa? This weirdo is your teacher? You should break your student-teacher bond and find a real teacher, like Sorcerer Yomi!” Iova chided.
“Ok, Kendra, before this brat gets into my nerves, get over here.” Boss crouched down as I moved closer to him. Even though he crouched down, I still had to look up to him as my face barely reached his eye level.
“Being this short is very weird…” I grumbled.
“Hmm? You’re no different from your normal height, though?”
“Are you mocking me?!”
He chuckled then waved his hand. “Just joking. Anyway, do you know why you’re here?”
I stood there silently, and knitted my brows in unease. I didn’t know what to say to him, or perhaps I knew, but I didn’t want to answer him.
“That thing,” Boss pointed at the young Iova then continued, “is Iova’s only salvation.”
“Did you call me thing?!” tiny Iova shouted.
“Shut up, you little brat!” he responded.
“Is she real?” I whispered.
He looked away and didn’t say anything for a while. “Whatever you wish it to be, Kendra.”
“What does that even-...”
“We’ll just both pretend. Just deny it, and never accept it. Besides, is this not the Iova you know? The Iova you know, the Iova you never knew, the Iova that would be. Never move on, and continue to pretend. That’s all I can say to you.”
I see.
I…
See…
I looked back at the young Iova.
I’m sorry.
I know I’m being selfish..
Blame me all you want but…
I don’t care.
I can regret it later.
But for now…
I will deny that you ever left me.
I will pretend that you never did.
That’s simply enough for me.
“Hmm? Is something wrong?” Iova asked.
I approached her, then pushed myself against her. I hugged her tightly as tears flowed out of my eyes.
Iova was saying something, but I couldn’t hear anything.
The world faded away into nothing.
And this time, I didn’t fall.
*
*
*
Wet.
The smell of iron.
I slowly opened my eyes, and I could faintly feel a beating heart throbbing against my head. My body froze for a second, unable to register what just happened.
No.
It would probably be better to say that I didn’t want to move. I wanted to enjoy the warmth for a bit longer…
“Kendra…” a voice softly called out.
“Yes, Iova?” I answered without looking at her or lifting my head.
I didn’t want to see her, nor do I want her to see me like this.
“Can you…”
I gripped Iova’s dress tightly, not wanting to let go. I wanted to see her, but what if…
What if she wasn’t there?
I felt a bloody hand pat my head. It was wet and disgusting, but… I felt…
… happy.
“Can you get off me? You’re sort of heavy,” Iova muttered.
At last, I raised my head and looked at Iova. She was pale, but the hole on her chest was gone. Instead, she had minor cuts and bruises all over her body so there was nothing serious.
I held my hand out, wanting to touch her face. There was something digging into my mind.
What if it was an illusion?
All a lie?
All a dream?
As usual, a certain someone was well-versed in the art of ruining moments.
“Oh ho, you’re fine, kiddo and brat.”
“Geh. Creepy old man,” Iova cussed with annoyance.
“I’ll deduct your marks,” Master threatened the still-weak Iova lying on the floor.
“I have some more money available for… donations,” Iova coughed.
“How dare you imply that I would take… donations. You and I will have to talk privately about your five sheets of silver worth of bribe attempt later, young lady,” Master chided back.
“What? What are you talking about? Three sheets of silver? That’s crazy talk, teacher!” Iova argued back.
“That’s enough. Meet me at the staff room once we are done, and I’ll have to lecture you on why bribing teachers with four sheets of silver is a bad idea. And that’s final, young lady,” Master concluded as Iova clicked her tongue.
Now that they had finished their thinly disguised bribery negotiation in front of me, Master began healing Iova with his medicinal arts.
“Before you bitch and complain about the task that I gave you…”
Iova clicked her tongue once again as Master was talking.
“I’d like to know what you remembered.”
Iova knitted her brows in confusion, then asked, “Me?”
“Yes. I’ll ask Kendra later to confirm,” Master answered.
“We were hunting that magical piggy when I... “ Iova paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. “I was knocked out by Felixia. Argh, damn. I was caught off guard. I can’t believe I would fall for such a stupid surprise attack.”
“And?”
“What do you mean ‘and’? I was knocked out. Heh heh, our teacher’s such a bonehead.” Iova giggled.
Unexpectedly, Master didn’t retort back. Instead, he quietly got up then walked away as he beckoned me to follow him.
We were only a few steps away from Iova when he whispered, “It seems that… fate has changed. I can see that Iova had never interacted with the demon at all. I mean, hypothetically speaking if she were ever to be… possessed by one in another hypothetical instance of our world. Hypothetically speaking.”
I looked around for the demon’s body. The blood splatters were still there, but her body was gone.
“Also the demon’s body is with me. I’ll dispose of it - I mean I would. Hypothetically speaking,” he continued.
At first, I gave him a befuddled look, not knowing what this hollow man was saying. Then I realized that this guy could be considerate sometimes, so I only looked away and sighed.
“Yes, yes. All hypothetical. Will Iova be fine?” I asked.
“Of course. Now we just have to carry her back. I won’t do it, so you do it. As a teacher, it is my responsibility to dump tasks to my students so I could slack off more,” Master proclaimed.
“You want me to carry her?!” I cried out.
He flicked my head and sighed. “Are you not a sorcerer apprentice under my wing? Go use magic.”
Oh right.
Sometimes I could be dumb, too, I guess.