Chapter 9 - Guildsmistress Winnifred, Hand of the Shadowed Glove
“Here! Winnifred! I’ve found Truck-chan!”
One of my vanguard of looters locates our goal. I merrily skip over. It’s important to project a girlish image. That way nobody but me suspects just how deadly I am. I even have a new outfit today, a frilly pink dress. Who would suspect me of being the world’s deadliest assassin? Not me! Hah!
“Winnifred! Here!”
It is as we heard. Truck-chan is dead.
Truck-chan lays still, her job complete. I approach the center of destruction to observe the wreckage. All around her lay the bodies of the enemy. Green flesh, black blood, fangs and claws mingled with crushed bronze armor and… an expertly plated slice of cheesecake?
What’s THAT doing here? Ehh … who cares? I saw it, so it’s mine now!
“Any of ye got a fork? I’m not eatin’ this with jus’ me hands!”
“I have a knife, mistress!”
“We ALL got knives, ye twit! I was askin’ fer a fork!”
“Will a spoon work?”
“Nae! Fork or nothin’!”
“Here’s a fork! This goblin here’s got one!”
“Really?” I bounce over to that position. “Oh! He’s still alive!”
The goblin whispers a curse when I grab his fork. Though the body of an ogre lies on top of him, his determination is admirable. In fact, isn’t this a centurion? I examine the plume on his helmet. Wow! What a catch!
“Spicy choco…”
“What’s he sayin’?”
“Straw … berry …”
“Oh! I’m guessin’ this cake was yers?”
“Sweet … treat!”
“I nicked it. It’s mine! Ye can’t have it!”
I see tears rise to his eyes and start spilling down his face. “Cheese… cake!”
“Ye really wantin’ it are ye?”
“... cheese!”
With a smirk, I stick my fork into it and watch his expression collapse into agony.
“... cake!”
I wave the fork in front of his eyes, then laugh as I bring it to my own mouth.
“No-o-o-o!” he gurgles.
“Hey! This is purdy good! Top notch!”
“No!” He begins sobbing, his body shaking with each breath.
“Enough fun!” I turn away with a giggle. “Tie ‘im up and send him to King Sidney. Guessin’ the Death Lord’ll be interrogatin’ him better than us!”
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“Mistress, look here!” One of my scouts calls for my attention, waving his arms.
“Aye? Ye got somethin’?”
“I don’t think Truck-chan is dead!”
“What’s that yer sayin’?”
“I can see a flicker from her eyes. Look!”
He’s right! Her eyes flicker on and off sometimes.
“Oy! Truck-chan! Yer like dead, but ye got nothin’ but scratches. What’s up with ye?”
The hero responds with a tiny beep. Hardly even a whisper.
“Yer goin’ to get better? Jus’ gettin’ some rest?”
Two little beeps. From what I recall, that means no.
“Sure wish ye were talkin’ like a person. Yer nae makin’ this easy.”
One more sad little beep.
“Ah well… was hopin’ to keep my secret. Desperate times and all that!”
Truck-chan says, “beep?”
“I nicked this from yer friend. That wizard guy.” I pull out the communication artifact that he used before to speak with her. “I was figurin’ we might be needin’ it, aye?”
“BEEP!” Truck-chan seems more energetic now, as if she’s regained hope.
“Took me a long time figurin’ out this puzzle lock. Ye gotta push these here numbers in jus' the right order! But, ye see, we’re thieves, aye? I’ll hafta teach ya lockpickin’ later. Guessin’ yer ready for it. Yer doin’ pretty fine work with that knife!”
“BEEP!”
“Aye! Aye! Jus’ be leavin’ me alone and lemme work!” I start tapping in the code to activate the device. Next, I scroll down to recent calls and click the dial button.
As expected, there’s a weak ringing inside the chariot’s covered section.
The artifact clicks as it makes a connection. Unfortunately, I don’t know what to do next. Luckily, there’s a voice on the other side.
“BEEP!”
“Uhh… Truck-chan?”
“BEEP!”
“I was thinkin’ yer talkin’ normal usin’ this thingy!”
“BEEP BEEP!”
“Two beeps… is nae? But that wizard! He was usin’ this for knowin’ what yer sayin’!”
“BEEP BEEP!”
“Nae. Huh? How was he doin’ it?”
“BEEP BEEP!”
“He was just makin’ it up?”
“BEEP!”
“Yer kiddin’ me!”
“BEEP BEEP!”
“But… how’s he knowin’ ‘bout that ladder?”
“BEEP BEEP BEEP!”
“Three beeps… uhh… nae yes, nae nae… you dinnae know?”
“BEEP!”
I shake my head. How on earth am I supposed to communicate with this thing? Clearly, Truck-chan needs my help, but I have no means to assist! “So… yer hurt?”
“BEEP BEEP!”
“Yet not... Yer stuck?”
“BEEP BEEP BEEP!”
“Nae yes, nae nae… yer nae stuck, but ye are?”
“BEEEEEEP!”
I sit down with the artifact to my ear. I don’t know what to say. How can you help someone who is stuck but… not? “How ‘bout draggin’ ye back to town?”
“BEEP BEEP!”
“So yer just sittin’ here?”
“Beeep...”
“Supposin’ I’ll be stayin’ with ye. Not all bad. I nicked some cheescake.”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”
“Ye like cheesecake?”
“BEEP BEEP!”
“Nae, but ... oh, yer hungry?”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”
"Ohhhhh!"