Chapter 2 - Coach Niwa Shido, Gymnastics Instructor

It’s just past midnight, but I’m up late again. Lately, life’s been rough. Extra students means more lessons, more energy, and less time for me. When I got in, I collapsed on my futon without even eating. Now, I’m ravenous, and I know just the thing!

The streets are empty at this time of night, but I’ve got on my jogging suit and I’m moving at a good clip. If the police are suspicious, first they’ll have to catch me! Besides, other people go jogging at midnight… sometimes.

My destination is a little convenience store fifteen blocks from my apartment. Yes, that’s not the closest one, but it has a certain item that I can’t get anywhere else. Just thinking about it, I can feel drool running down my chin.

Have you ever noticed how saliva gets pushed by the wind? It’s thinner and lighter than water, so the air pressure just squeezes it along. If you’re running fast enough, it drips backwards and runs up the bottom of your chin to your neck. If not that, it goes up your nose. Totally gross.

Well, I was planning to take a bath when I get back anyway. Missed it when I got home tonight, so I stink. Plus, I’m out here jogging. I’ve got more sweat than drool. Still, drool is the worst.

Seeing the little 6-10 corner store come into sight, I breathe a sigh of relief. My stomach is so empty, it’s sucking air in through my belly button! I head toward the front door, then take a right at the last second for the vending machine on the outer wall.

“Achilles’s Greek Delights.”

What kind of name is that? Is he actually Greek? Did his parents really name him “Achilles?” If so, does he wear really big boots? I know I would! Otherwise, somebody’s sure to stab me in the ankle.

“Let’s see…” I scan down through the items.

“Greek Gyro… mmm! But what are my options?”

I examine the prices and pictures attached to the gyro descriptions.

“Hummus, feta, tzatziki, tomatoes… oh no, my running shoes are getting wet!”

Does drool on shoes count as clean… or dirty?

“Pork? On a gyro? Is that a thing? Beef. Chicken. Shouldn’t there be some lamb? Nah… the price for a vending machine would be astronomical.”

Eventually, I choose an option, then start pushing in coins. Luckily, I have just enough. My growling stomach and lack of nutrition is forcing me to tremble. The very last coin bounces out of my grasp, falling to the ground, and rolling underneath the machine!

“Noooo!” I shriek out, then cover my mouth in horror. Screaming in the street at midnight isn’t really a good idea. I hope the employees inside aren’t calling the police. But maybe they are! I’ve got to hurry… or I may not get my gyro!

In a flash, I duck down and stick my hand under the machine. That coin! Is it just out of reach? It’s so dark! Maybe if I had some light.

Suddenly, there is light. Two in fact. Headlights. A truck. Coming straight at me!

If I reach for the coin, I might find it. If I find it, I might be able to stand up and stick it in the slot. If I stick it in the slot, I might still have time to push the button. However, even I can tell the odds are against me.

Tears of frustration spring from my eyes as I roll forward to somersault out of the way.

Just before the impact, I hear the truck’s horn. “BEEEP! BEEEP!” It’s almost sounds cute. LIke a tiny car with an attitude.

After that, the truck barrels into the machine, completely demolishing it and ALL of the delicious gyros inside. Seriously?

After I have a moment to recover, I shriek again, “Noooo! It’s not fair!”

I figure, at this point, screaming in the streets at midnight is well warranted. This truck just crashed into the 8-12! Surely, somebody’s already calling the police.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Once I’ve had a good chance to yell at the truck, I kick its tire in anger. It’s just a little flatbed model. Nothing special.

"Maybe be a drunk driver?"

I take a look at the side to see whose business was responsible for this disaster.

“Truck-chan? Is that a shipping company? And why is it pink with a bow?”

Uh oh! The headlights just turned back on! It’s backing up! Is this a hit-and-run?

No… now it’s stopped again, and revving its engine!

I step in front to look into the cab, but there’s nobody inside!

“What? How? Is this one of those AI things?”

Suddenly, it switches back into drive and leaps forward. I was already suspicious, but now I know. This truck was aiming for ME!

“BEEP!”

Why the horn? Luckily, I know some moves.

The sooner I hit it, the less time it has to accelerate! I leap forward onto the front windshield and roll over the top into the bed.

“Ha! You thought you had me?”

Smash! It goes straight into the vending machine again. Unfinished gyro ingredients fly everywhere, plus some salads and styrofoam sauce containers.

“Y-y-you! You monster! How dare you!”

“BEEP!”

Uh oh, it switched into reverse again!

Am I safest in the truck bed? There’s no telling what an AI truck might do!

Thinking quickly, I jump out of the bed and run into a nearby alley. I’ve got to keep away from it until the police arrive! Even now, I can hear sirens, but it’s too far away to see any flashing lights.

V-v-vrooom! The truck switches back into drive and is hot on my heels.

Trucks can’t go up walls! C’mon parkour, don’t fail me now!

I leap from wall to wall up the sides of the alley. In a few moments, I’m on top of the two story building, looking over the edge as the truck swings around in circles. Now, I feel like the seal on top of the iceberg with the killer whale underneath me.

After a few rounds, the truck stops to consider. I can feel the gears turning inside its mechanical head. Its beady headlight eyes stare up at me, full of malice and hate. It really is a monster! This is like one of those horror movies!

“What was it… Kate? Louise? Some girl’s name in English.”

“BEEP! BEEP!”

The flashing lights finally appear, and Truck-chan peels away in a cloud of smoking rubber. As it leaves, I can see the red brake lights flash only once as it drifts around the corner.

“Wow! It’s a street racer!”

The police cars fly by, hot on Truck-chan’s tail.

“Now what? I guess I should go down to the shop and tell them what happened?”

I don’t really feel like going down the same way I came up. Looking around, I spy a ladder, so I head over that way. Despite all the excitement, my tummy is still growling. I’m SO hungry!

I’ve only put one hand on the ladder, when I hear another squeal of tires. Naturally, I’m suspicious, so I look around. I can hear the roaring of engines, but I can’t figure out where it’s coming from.

“Maybe it’s better to stay up here?”

Suddenly, I’m lit up again with the two headlights of doom. Only afterwards do my ears register the sound of breaking concrete. Truck-chan is flying! Scanning back along her trajectory, she just broke through the rails of the overpass! All to get me?

“It’s Katherine!” I’m pretty sure that’s the name of that evil car in the movie.

Regardless, I don’t have time to second guess my accusation. Truck-chan’s tires are spinning. I hear her motor screaming in frustration. Her ballistic path is perfect! How did she aim so well?

“BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEEP!”

Luckily, I’m a gymnastics teacher.

I grab one bar of the ladder and swing over the edge just in time.

Truck-chan glides through the air immediately above me, the bottom of her chassis scraping across the top of the ladder.

The reverberations shake down through the metal, and I can feel as the ladder breaks away from the side of the building. I’m falling?

“Better to make this a controlled fall!”

I jump away from the ladder, landing like a spider on the other building. Of course, I don’t stick. That’s a good thing too, because Truck-chan smashes into the wall right above me, sending bricks and debris scattering into the air.

I push off this wall, jumping back to the side I came from. The falling ladder misses me by a hair, but I touch it with my fingers to control my trajectory.

In the meantime, Truck-chan, above me, has rebounded off of the wall too. Now, she’s spinning end-over-end falling down on me from above. As she regains velocity, I hear her horn again, “BEEEP!”

I hit the ground and roll. Then, regaining my stance, I sprint out of the way as Truck-chan dashes herself into the concrete. She lands head first… or should I call it hood first? An explosion of broken glass windows and torn plastic scatters in a circle around her.

She looks… dead? The steam from her radiator almost looks like a spirit wafting away. It has cute little eyes, and a sad smile, like a tragic anime bishoujou.

“Wow! What was that?”

There’s one last sound from Truck-chan.

“BEEEeeeepp… beep… beerrrrrp.”