Chapter 1 - Adept Toshiro, Transdimensional Summoning Search (TDSS) Spirit

My life working for Transdimensional Summoning Search (TDSS for short) is pretty easy. Each morning, I wake up bright and early and eat a nice breakfast. Rice, miso soup, pickles. Don’t forget the pickles!

Next, I style my mustache and my beard. I have a set of combs perfect for the job. A little bit of olive oil is essential for keeping my hair nice and healthy. After all, I’ve been growing it for centuries. The ribbons are my final touch to bind it all together and add some flair. When you have a sweet old-guy beard like mine, it needs to draw the eye!

After that, I check on the news, then I just kinda laze around until lunch. Later, I sweep the front walk and visit the neighbors. All in the spirit world, of course, but we’ve got all the modern amenities. I often go out for supper. All the food is imaginary, so it’s all free. I can eat whatever I want. And no cleaning dishes! After that, I wobble home, have a nice bath, change into fluffy pajamas, and settle in for the night.

I suppose it’s a good life. I only get called into service every few years or so. Although, it’s been getting more common lately. In fact, wasn’t it just last year that … “Aaaggghhh!!”

Suddenly, I’ve got a splitting headache from the bells going off in my head. Blearily, I take a look over at my alarm clock. Midnight? Seriously? Who starts a transdimensional summoning ceremony at midnight?

Unfortunately, there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep with a wrecking ball in my head. I suppose there’s nothing for it. First, I change into my robes of overawing. Next, I tie on my sash of undeniable professionalism. Not to be forgotten, I knot my ribbons back into my beard.

One last check in the mirror, then I follow the never ceasing chimes to their source.

The transition from spirit to material is never pleasant. The material world is so… physical! The first issue is that my robe stops wafting about in the spirit zephyrs. Gravity. Bleh! It falls down to rest on my skin. Itchy! Heavy!

Why on earth are my robes so big? Oh yeah, overawing. Right! Better get on that.

The scenario is a typical throne room summoning. Yep, not impressed. Been there, done that. There’s a king sorta dude, plus a magician in blue robes with stars. Probably a diviner filling in for a summoner. Oh well, he’s got my attention. He’s the one standing inside the magic circle and swinging a bell up and down in each hand. So loud!

“Will you STOP that? I’m here already!”

“Oh, great spirit! We summon a hero!” The magician responds in a wheezy voice while kowtowing.

“You realize it’s midnight?”

“Indeed great one! Our need is great!”

“I’m not going to find a hero at midnight. Everybody’s asleep!”

“The legions are upon us! Aid us in our hour of need!”

“Nope! Not happening. Call me again tomorrow. Maybe… after lunch?”

The magician lifts his head to give a stage-whisper at the king, “I told you!”

“What? I suppose this is MY fault then?” the king bellows.

I wave a hand at them, “You two work this out. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“No! Wait! We need …” I fade out as the magician tries to stop me.

Back in my house, I start changing back into my pajamas. I hope I can get some sleep before tomorrow! After all, I’ll need to show up around … “Aaaggghhh!!!

The bells are back! Seriously?

This time, I don’t bother changing out of my pajamas. I can just put the robe on top. Nobody will know, right?

It still takes a few minutes. Longer because it’s hard to tie my sash with the hammering tones inside my head. Each strike shakes my brain around… if I had a brain. Which I don’t. Good thing too! This much magical force would give me a concussion!

Back to the throne room… “STOP IT ALREADY!”

The magician is there, ringing the bell again. I’d be angry at him, but he’s crying in terror. The reason for that is nearby. There’s an executioner fellow standing behind him. He’s got a big axe, a black hood mask, and all those bulging muscles.

When the magician collapses, the king steps forward. “I want a hero! Right now!”

“Not happening.”

“Oh? We’ll just keep ringing the bell, then.”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

I feel my eyebrow twitch. “Really? Are you threatening ME?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

This is new. Let’s see. What can I do?

I spend a few moments looking through my capabilities. I haven’t engaged in combat in, like … ever? I mean, why would I? That’s not a problem! I’ve got these “super spirit bottle blaster bolts” in my pocket.

On the other hand, I’m not sure how to use them. Drink them? Or throw them? Ugh.. it would be so embarrassing if I do it backwards! Can you imagine it? What if I drop one and these mortals pick it up? I’d never hear the end of it!

Note for later. Learn how to use my blaster bolts. This time, I’ll just suck it up and do what he says. There’s still several problems though.

I fold my arms within my robe, trying to exude my total superiority, “You want a hero? I’LL give you a hero!”

Hah! That should put some fear into him.

“About time!” the king huffs at me. I guess he doesn’t get sarcasm?

My eyebrow twitches again, but I can stick this out, “What kind of hero do you want? It’s midnight right now, so I’m guessing someone dark and edgy? Mohawk? Butcher knife?”

“No! Uhh…”

“Oh were you wanting a whip? Oh, no! Don’t tell me… a dark type heroine? Fishnet stockings? Sexy leather outfit?”

“No! No! Stop! I’m thinking!”

I let out a sigh, “You hadn’t already decided?”

“I didn’t know we’d have options.”

“Fine, fine. Take your time!” I walk over to the dais leading up to his throne, take a seat, and then summon a nice cup of coffee. He doesn’t look very smart, so this isn’t going to be done quickly. At my age, I’ll need this caffeine just to stay awake!

I slurp my coffee. I wait. I watch as his lips twitch back and forth. Is that how he thinks? With his lip muscles? Most people use their brain.

Eventually, he decides upon an answer. “I want a hero… who WANTS to be a hero.”

“Uhh… all right?” That’s… different.

“No weak-kneed sissy who whines about going home! All that reluctant hero nonsense? Waste of time! I want someone who yearns to be heroic and mighty! Someone with a strong sense of justice! Someone ready to jump into battle! Someone…”

I hold up a hand. “Got it. And… how do you think I’ll find someone like that at this time of day?”

“You’re the summoning search spirit. That’s your JOB!”

Is he telling me MY job?

I squint one eye at him, suck in some air, and then … cough it out again.

Too much air! Air is physical! My spiritual lungs weren’t meant for that!

“Hey buddy… are you all right?” The executioner guy has a nice, pleasant voice.

“Fine, fine!” I wave him away, turning back toward the king.

He glares at me, as if daring me to say I can’t do it.

“I can’t do it.”

“Oh? I guess we need more bells.” He looks back at the magician who is crumpled in the middle of the magic circle.

“Aagghh… fine. I’ll see what I can do. No complaints though!”

“No complaints!”

“Promise?”

“As long as you fulfill the description.”

“All right… give me a minute.”

That’s actually an exaggeration. As I fade away, I know that it won’t even take a second. Time stops when I’m doing a summoning search, so I’ll be back instantly from his point of view.

Hmm… maybe I should wait a minute! Otherwise, he’ll think my job is easy. Nah… I want this over as quickly as possible so I can get back to bed!

First, I summon a terminal. Next, I login with my admin password. Pull up Snoogle and check my headlines. Nothing of interest? What did I expect? It’s midnight!

I crack my knuckles with a grin. All right, time to get to work!

It’s been a long time, but I’m still familiar with the application. All I have to do is type in a few keywords.

“Not weak-kneed. Not a sissy. Hero. Strong sense of justice.”

PLINK!

“No results? What’s this error message? What does this say?”

“Too many characters.”

“Why is there a character limit? Is this the 90s?”

Yeah, I didn’t think so, either. But, you never know, right?

“All right. Hmm. I suppose I need to pare this down.”

“Not weak-kneed … that means … strong?”

“Not a sissy … let’s see … tough?”

“Hero… that’s good.”

“Strong sense of justice … just?”

“Strong. Tough. Hero. Just.”

PLINK!

“Still no results? Oh, another error message!”

“No hero found.”

“Oh, it’s that ‘Hero’ requirement. It’s probably trying to find someone with super-powers or something. Humans don’t typically have those. Besides, the search engine only finds people that are awake. At this hour? No super powers, I guess. Let’s see… hmm…

“Strong. Tough. Wants to be a hero. Just.”

PLINK!

“Too many characters again? Aagghh!”

“Strong. Tough. Wants hero. Just.”

“Not quite the same, but it’ll have to do.”

PLINK!

“Only one hit? Seriously? Ehh… I’ll just take this one.”

PLINK!

“Niwa Shido. Gymnastics teacher. Parkour enthusiast. Sounds great!”

At this point, I pull out my cell phone and dial Truck-chan. I don’t do retrievals after all. That’s her job.

“Hey there! Yeah… I know! Middle of the night. Believe me, I know!”

I bow repeatedly to Truck-chan across the phone. She can’t see me, but it’s a habit.

“All right. I’ll send over the details. Yep. Yep. Good luck!”

Once the phone call is done, I key in Niwa’s current location and destination.

Now, it’s up to Truck-chan.

Once that’s done, I turn back to the terminal.

“Hmm… there was something else. Wasn’t there? Oh yeah!”

“How to use super spirit bottle blaster bolts.”

PLINK!

“Oh… shake, open, and spray? Now that’s clever!”