Chapter 17 - Captain Shigure, Red Skeleton Leader of the Five Skulls

“It’s corpsin’ time!” The five of us shout out our team’s battlecry in unison. The colored smoke bombs go off behind us.

Since none of us have flesh, our voices rise not from our vocal cords, but from the magical forces vibrating within our ribcage. This is further magnified by the coating of metal that we have each chosen.

Though we are bones beneath, our skeletons are plated with enchanted materials. We are strong. In fact, our bones are hermetically sealed, strong enough to endure any pressure. Before that, I had a leak once. Never again!

My own metal is orichalcum, the strongest and fiercest. The word itself means “mountain copper” and the hue is a deep red. In practice, the metal is actually just another variant of bronze. But, it is alloyed by happenstance using only the earth's natural forces. As a result, no sword may pierce it and no magic can lay it low.

At my far left is Sei, also known as Blue, with his cobalt-tungsten. He’s my second-in-command, and definitely the toughest. If you want someone that will never give up, then Sei’s your best bet. He also likes hamsters.

At the far right is Midori, Green, with her verdigrised copper. She’s third in command, just in case something goes wrong. Her specialty is taming and control of nature. It’s an odd choice of magic among the undead, but she’s our best magician, and that’s why she wears a pointy hat. Since everyone always asks, she likes spongecake and moonlight walks on the beach.

Next to me on the left is Toya, Black, with his dark zirconium-mithril. He wanted a plutonium coating, but the cost was just too excessive. Never mind that it would kill all the living troops around us. Even then, he said that was just a bonus side-effect because, in his words, it was “awesome.” He even offered to be carried around inside a lead coffin. Nope. Not happening! He finally settled for a big, black trench coat instead.

At my right hand is Kotaro, Yellow, plated in pure, 24-carat gold. Yes, it’s softer and weaker than all the rest. But, it’s super shiny. Annoying too. Just like him and his snide commentary. He’s completely useless. I don’t even know why we wanted him on the team. I suppose we had to have five. But then, why not six? Don’t ask me!

The enemy today is a huge golem thing hailing from another dimension. It can’t even speak, but only roars out when it charges. I’m not really sure what its motivations are. I must have missed the episode that had its backstory. Or maybe it’s just some throwaway monster?

“It’s time to kick the bucket!” We charge as a group, our arms streaming behind us due to the force of our extreme wind speeds. Normally, this confuses the enemy, but the great steel beast just keeps coming straight at us. We’d heard that it carried only a small knife, but now I see a knife in both of its “hand” appendages. Is it dual wielding? Has it leveled up?

“It can attack from either side! Switch formation! Skele-fury!”

With that, Black and Yellow leap upwards to land on Blue and Green’s shoulders. My part in this maneuver is to drop backwards to hide behind the others. This too is meant to distract and confuse the enemy. Meanwhile, the actual attack comes from beneath the ground. More colored smoke canisters explode, adding confusion to the battlefield.

It’s hard to see in the smoke, but each of us knows our role. Cartwheeling, I move into the red smoke, camouflaging my form. The others each do the same.

In response, Truck-chan spins around in confusion. She might occasionally catch sight of one of us, but we’re too quick and clever to allow a direct charge. Instead, we attack from her blind spots.

My punch lands firmly in her side, and I see the adamant window crack.

Blue rolls under her knife and kicks her in the rear leg. It didn’t seem to do much, but I know how unyielding his bony feet are. That had to hurt!

Green summons up a tree that grows directly in her path. It isn’t large enough to stop Truck-chan, but the impact shakes the earth.

Black pulls out his multishot crossbow and starts taking potshots. Several of them connect, their shafts remain sticking out from the steel body.

But where is Yellow? He’s not here! “Yellow, you are too slow!”

“Get off my case you big pink blister!”

“Blister? Pink?”

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“Just calm down, we’re a team! We have to work together!” says Blue.

He’s right, but I’ve had enough of Yellow. “I’m not working with him anymore! He’s a worthless layabout! He never comes to practice! He never even learned our latest chant!”

“Oh yeah? Maybe if you took a walk in my shoes, you’d do the same!”

“You’re not even wearing shoes!”

“Even you know that’s a metaphor, pinko!”

The smoke is dissipating, but the danger of the moment has passed. Truck-chan has stopped in place to let us work out our differences.

I know how she feels! What glory is there in beating an opponent that has already beaten itself?

“Guys, can’t we all just be friends?” says Green.

“Never again! He’s just a prissy, stuck up anti-hero wanna-be!” Yellow points at me.

“Why you! If you just tried, you’d…” I raise a fist and charge at him, but Blue holds me back, grabbing behind my shoulders to prevent my attack.

“Hurry up and do something! My power is leaking out!” Black dances around. “When the stars are in alignment like this, the Unknown and the Known are unopposed! The true fires of the Nostril of Everlasting Destruction …”

“Just shut up!” We all chime out together. At least he gave us all a reason to agree, but it feels dirty. I’m not mollified so easily! I fold my arms and stare at Yellow.

Green moves between us. “What we need to do is talk this out. If we can just see things from each other’s viewpoint, we can work like a team again!”

“Spoken just like a little girl,” says Blue.

“What was that?” she screeches.

“Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”

“I heard you! You have something to tell me?”

“You don’t even have flesh anymore! Why do you still act like a woman? Feelings and emotions. What is this? Some other team! Why don’t we call ourselves "Group Hug?" You think we can all make up and everybody will be friends again? It’s too late for that!”

“Yeah? You and all your manly manliness! Speaking of flesh, where’s yours? Maybe we should rename ourselves the Bony Boners!”

“Oh! Is that why you dumped me?” he shouts back.

“Aaagh!” Green goes stomping off. I know Blue’s still angry about their broken relationship. Even so, I didn’t realize it was simmering so close under the surface.

Black goes running off after her. Wait, are those two an item, now? Burn!

Blue looks at me for a while, then walks away shaking his head, “This team is done. See you around.”

I watch him go. What can I do? He’s right. Now, it’s just me and Yellow. We started the argument and everybody else finished it.

For a while, I just gaze at the sunset. If skeletons could cry…

Eventually, I address Yellow. “I guess you were right. I... I didn’t know.”

Yellow’s head is shaking back and forth. “W-w-what? I didn’t know either.”

“I guess I’m too demanding? I’m so sorry!”

“Well… you’re Red! You’re supposed to be a pain in the butt! If we had butts…”

“Hey, you said I should walk in your shoes? What did you mean?”

“Red. Have you ever considered our team dynamic? You’re the strongest, Blue’s the toughest. Green is amazing. Black is scary. What am I? I’m useless!”

I walk over to his position and throw my arm over his back in a side-hug. “Are you kidding? You’re a metal-coated skeleton! You’re better than a million alternatives.”

“A tyrannosaur would be more useful.”

“A tyrannosaur?”

“It’s just… the first thing that came to mind.”

“You could have said a newt or an axolotl. Something soft and weak.”

“I’m soft and weak?”

"Ugh! See what I mean! Why’d I say that? Why’d I even open my mouth? I should have just agreed!"

“Maybe I don’t belong on the team anymore.”

“No… I’m just talking with my foot in my mouth. You know you aren’t soft! Even pure gold is harder than human flesh. It is, right?”

Actually, I’m not sure about that. Just how soft is he? The metal is enchanted for hardness, so it shouldn’t matter. But, I’ve never tested it. Whatever! That doesn’t matter right now! I need to keep my thoughts on track!

“Yellow. We just need to find a new strategy for you. We should ask Black. He might have some good ideas. Maybe we can use your weight as a weapon. Gold is really heavy.”

“Black’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, that’s true. But he has interesting concepts.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Friends?” I extend a hand.

“Friends!” He clasps it in response.

The sunset never looked prettier.

“BEEP!” Somehow, an airborne Truck-chan lands on top of both of us.