[ZERO SPACE]
“You must save her mine,” said the villager chief. “My daughter has been kidnapped by them the goblins and your is to rescue!"
Asira, Bander and DangerFace869 listened to the villager chief’s dialogue in disinterest. At least Asira and Bander had heard it all before. Shae on the other hand, listened to the disjointed garble with great intent. After dealing with Smith, Shae didn’t dare disrespect important NPCs.
“They goblins hold her in a cage,” the villager chief continued. “You must save her or they’ll eat her. And then they’ll eat her!”
And with that, the villager chief bent backwards and crab-walked into his hut.
Shae turned towards his group. “Well, you heard the man!”
* * *
Asira’s orange sword impaled a slick cliff wall.
She leaned out from a waterfall, taking in a large gasp of air. Her fur would now reek for the rest of the mission; wet fur was one of the downsides of being a pteranoid.
This waterfall was the optimal route into the goblin encampment - they wouldn’t see Asira coming. The developers hadn’t accounted for players travelling within the waterfall.
A camp full of straw tents awaited atop the cliff, partially surrounded by a large wooden wall. Painted on the wall - big bold letters that said “Goblens Only.” This writing was a plothole; according to game lore, goblins couldn’t read or write. Maybe goblens was an intentional misspelling - an attempt to characterize them as uncivilized. Or maybe it was just an embarrassing typo.
Asira tore through the waterfall’s peak, gliding through a shallow river. The evening sun glistened across the water’s surface, obscuring her figure with refracted light. Two goblin feet patrolled the river’s edge, moving in a predictable pattern. Asira just had to wait for the right moment. And then --
Her orange sword streaked through the goblin’s ankles. The goblin’s feet remained on the shore, while the rest of it fell forward into the river, dissolving into a swirling current of red.
Asira rolled from the water, shaking the wetness from her fur. She ducked behind a bush, meeting a goblin’s gaze. Any player would have seen her immediately, but these goblins were NPCs. And the bushes around here were NPC-proof.
The goblin turned away, allowing Asira to slide behind a short wooden railing. She crawled between the railing and the cliff’s edge. Clouds of misty water obscured the drop below; it was even higher than it looked. A fall like this wouldn’t perturb most pteranoids, but Asira’s fur was wet – her wings wouldn’t support the extra water-weight.
A lone goblin stood in a wooden watchtower, surveying the cliff below. This goblin gripped a long curved horn in both hands; it looked like a tusk-turned-trumpet. It was made from bone (likely villager bones), coated with red dye (likely villager blood). This goblin was especially dangerous. It could summon endless waves of reinforcements - that would be the end of everything.
There were two watchtowers in total, and Asira was now in one of them. She had to hope this goblin wouldn’t look back. Fortunately, Shae and Bander were on the job; they stood on a neighboring mountain, just within the goblin’s line of sight. Goblins had a limited range –as long as Shae and Bander remained outside the goblin camp, their programming wouldn’t let them do anything more than stare.
Asira was now inches away. Goblins weren’t deaf to footsteps, but Asira was a ninja.
CHOP
Asira’s swords crossed. The goblin’s head tumbled from the watchtower, bouncing off several sharp rocks, before vanishing into the misty ravine.
She spun her orange swords in triumph, directly in Shae and Bander’s view.
“Asira’s in,” said Bander, lowering a pair of binoculars.
Shae was distracted; this was his first time being a Raid Leader. His palm interface had so many new options: he could invite other guild members to their party, or kick someone who was misbehaving. He could even invite other players to the guild. If Raid Leaders could do this, he could only imagine what Raid Captains could do.
“Ready to cross?” asked Bander.
Shae glanced at a rickety wooden bridge, swaying above the misty abyss. This was their route to the goblin encampment, and Shae was in no rush to deal with it.
“Asira’s got this,” said Shae. “Let her do her thing.”
Bander shrugged, raising his binoculars again. Common items like binoculars could be borrowed from the Guild. If anything happened to them however, it would come out of Bander’s pocket. Chief was frugal with guild rep points; she needed those for birds.
Shae glanced at Bander. They weren’t often alone together; Shae was grateful for that.
“Hey Bander,” said Shae. “What do you know about the Static?”
Bander gave Shae the weirdest look.
“Wait, what?” Bander asked.
“Are there monsters in it?” Shae asked.
Bander gave Shae the second-weirdest look.
“Why the hell would I know that?” asked Bander.
“I don’t know,” said Shae. “You’re like a hacker and stuff. Shouldn’t you know these things?”
“I know about the game idiot, not the Haven.” Bander said. Suddenly, Bander looked up. “Wait, where’s DangerFace869?”
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“I dunno,” said Shae.
“You’re his mentor.”
“I’m not his mentor!”
There – on the cliff’s edge: DangerFace869. The demonoid ascended a warped staircase of ledges and stones. This wasn’t some random route; this was a sadistic designer trap, created to lure clever players to their doom. Or new players, like DangerFace869.
“That idiot,” said Bander, pointing.
Shae froze. This was beyond bad. He looked towards the bridge - it was now or never.
Asira lobbed off goblins heads, counting them as they fell.
“Three… Four… Five…”
This camp contained twenty-three goblins in total; she had a nice streak going. Her record was fourteen. Today, she was going to beat that!
Seventeen goblins left:
* Three atop the wooden wall.
* Four gathered around a campfire.
* Five feeding on a pile of villager bones.
* Another four, bathing in a hot spring.
And one more watchtower goblin. Waiting, horn in-hand.
Asira’s wings were almost dry. In one fell swoop, she could behead the three wall-goblins. Then she would –
DangerFace869 leapt to the cliff’s peak, squeezing between two large rocks. This was the perfect position. Several goblin groups were vulnerable from here – no one could possibly see him.
No one... except a single goblin - the one in the watchtower. DangerFace869 entered the encampment exactly within its line of sight.
The goblin raised the horn to his lips, releasing a deep musical drone.
Every goblin in the camp perked up, turning towards DangerFace869. The ones on the wall, the ones by the fire, the ones eating bones, the ones in the hot spring; DangerFace869 had alerted them all.
The demonoid was cornered – surrounded by two giant rocks and a massive drop behind him. This wasn’t an opportunity; it was a set-up. His inexperience had ruined everything.
He fled from his position, dashing towards –
THUMP THUMP THUMP
Rocks rained towards him - goblin slings, from the encampment wall. The demonoid retreated back to his previous position. Catching an arrow was one thing, but a machine gun volley of stones? He’d need more hands for that.
The campfire goblins closed in.
“FURY STRIKES!”
Those goblins were toast.
More goblins drew near, still gnawing on villager bones.
“FURY STRIKES!”
They were now mince-meat.
Hot spring goblins sprung towards him.
“FURY STRIKES!”
Only the demonoid’s words emerged. DangerFace869 learned a hard lesson about special power recharge times. Fury Strikes wouldn’t be ready again for a few more seconds, and a few seconds was all the goblins needed.
Asira swooped across the wall with her swords.
“Six… Seven… Eight…”
She skidded to the wall’s edge, discovering DangerFace869’s corpse below. It didn’t matter how skilled the demonoid was – a few goblin axes to the head could kill most people.
Shae and Bander raced across the unstable bridge. Normally, Shae overcame this bridge by fixating on the person ahead. Unfortunately, that person today was Bander. Looking down at Bander meant looking down at the misty void beyond.
Shae made the trek by sheer force of will. He was fighting for a better life. A better life for both him and –
-- Anton! Oh no, Shae was definitely going to miss dinner. His brother wouldn’t be happy about this. Tomorrow, he would spend some time with Anton. That was a promise!
A savory aroma taunted him further. This smell wasn’t coming from the camp; it came from just beyond it. Shae’s mind connected the dots, dispelling his appetite. This was a goblin camp, and goblins ate villagers. Soon, that smell would be the village chief’s daughter.
The watchtower goblin was still blowing his horn. Reinforcements would arrive soon; Asira had to take action.
She flew –
THUMP THUMP THUMP
Goblin slings shot her down.
She plummeted back to the wall. The goblins below were done with DangerFace869 – now they wanted her. They clawed upwards, incapable of climbing this particular wall. She didn’t dare engage them. Even easy enemies in Zero Space couldn’t be taken lightly, especially in groups.
Shae and Bander arrived to a dire situation. DangerFace869 couldn’t be revived from this distance, and the watchtower goblin was too far to be sniped. A Piercing Shot from this angle wouldn’t kill the four goblins after Asira; it would hit two, at best.
Surrounding branches rustled; it wasn’t the wind. A tidal wave of screeching, clicking shadows bulldozed through the trees. Shae didn’t know how many goblins were coming; he just knew there were too many. Only Asira could stop this in time. Shae had one option:
“RICOCHET SHOT!”
A red bullet emerged from his gun…
…Bouncing off one goblin’s face.
…Bouncing off another goblin’s face.
…Bouncing off yet another goblin’s face.
That was it. Three bounces, three goblins. Maybe at Level 2, Ricochet Shot would bounce more? Shae didn’t understand Level 2 powers; that was his best guess.
The fourth goblin switched gears, rushing towards Shae. Shae’s pistols filled the goblin with holes. Bander’s staff finished the job.
Asira kicked off the wall, gliding towards the watchtower.
CHOP
Both the goblin’s head and horn were cleaved in two. A hushed silence fell across the battlefield. The rustling in the trees grew faint; the dark shadows within dispersed. The battle was won.
Bander’s staff rose to an angelic choir. Heavenly light lifted DangerFace869’s body, rearranging him like a Rubik’s Cube until he once again assembled his previous demonoid from.
DangerFace869 awoke with a gasp –
Bander’s foot shoved him back down.
“Idiot, you almost cost us the mission!” Bander yelled. “You can’t just run off like that!”
“No one told me to do anything,” said DangerFace869. “I was bored.”
“If I tell you to do nothing, that’s still something!” Shae chimed in.
“You didn’t say do nothing,” said DangerFace869.
Bander smacked Shae with his staff.
“This is your fault too, idiot,” Bander yelled. “You need to be directing people. You’re the leader now. Lead!”
“Shae, what was with that bullet?” Asira screeched.
Bander grew silent, reflecting on what transpired - Shae used a second power. They had known Shae for years; his purple bullet was old news. But that red bullet? That was impossible.
“Shae,” whispered Bander. “Did you go, premium?”
“You did the ricochet thing again,” said DangerFace869.
“Wait, am I the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on here?” Asira asked.
Shae was overwhelmed with questions. The guild would have even more for him when he returned; he was certain they were watching.
His short-lived secret was out.