[ZERO SPACE]
Master Valdi stalked across his pyramid stairs, circling Asira like a vulture evaluating carrion. Asira, akin to an actual vulture, spread her wings in an attempt to deter him.
“Why are you keeping me here?” asked Asira. “Please, just tell me what you want.”
Master Valdi’s wandering fingers seemed to want several things. Particularly, Asira’s long pteranoid wings. Or those black bits of fur protruding from her tight orange clothes. And her bright amber eyes –
Asira pulled her head away.
“You’re acting really weird,” said Asira. “Really really weird.”
“What’s weird about admiring a beautiful body?” asked Master Valdi.
Asira bit her lower lip.
“So this is what this is about,” said Asira.
Asira unsheathed her orange swords.
“People have tried this before,” said Asira. “Those people are dead.”
Master Valdi blinked.
“Bah, you misunderstand me,” said Master Valdi. “All Zero Space bodies are beautiful. Syadd’s muscles. Shae’s slender form. Even Chief’s rainbow shell. Your body just has a particularly intricate design. It’s clear you crafted it with care. I admire that.”
Asira blinked, lowering her swords.
Master Valdi’s hand slid across his own pitch black body.
“What do you think of my character’s design?” asked Master Valdi.
“It’s, um –” Asira started. “It’s very dark.”
“That’s by design,” said Master Valdi. “True terror stems from the unknown, therefore my features are mysterious. I desire control, and nothing controls people like fear.”
Master Valdi peered back at Asira.
“You’ve seen V, my Haven form,” said Master Valdi. “I’ve modeled V’s outfit after Master Valdi. Have you noticed the resemblance?”
Asira shrugged.
“I guess?” asked Asira. “It’s a nice cosplay.”
“Bah, I want more than cosplay,” said Master Valdi. “I want full immersion. Consistency between both worlds. I want to be a tall, beautiful musicoid both here and the Haven. Unlike V, Master Valdi’s suit doesn’t wrinkle. And neither does his flesh.”
Master Valdi gazed into the black void above.
“How long does V have?” said Master Valdi. “Ten, maybe twenty years left? And if genetics are any indication, my mind will go before my body. I must become Master Valdi. And soon.”
Asira snorted.
“That’s impossible,” said Asira. “Shae can’t even do that. And he’s a premium account user!”
“Typical Asira,” said Master Valdi. “Only believing in what you’ve already seen.”
Master Vadli drew his dagger.
“You see, there are other Havens out there, hosting other servers,” said Master Valdi. “Servers with less limitations.”
Master Valdi twirled his dagger fast.
“One of those Havens hosts the original Zero Space server,” said Master Valdi. “A place with no limitations.”
Master Valdi twirled his dagger faster.
“Denizens of that Haven gain access to its server,” said Master Valdi. “A premium account user there could become a god.”
Master Valdi twirled his dagger fastest.
“Gods can take any form they wish,” said Master Valdi. “That includes Master Valdi.”
Master Valdi gripped his dagger steady.
“I’ve constructed a supply network,” said Master Valdi. “A network of static vehicles that run between Havens. That network is nearly complete.”
Master Valdi placed a hand on Asira’s shoulder.
“Once I secure a premium account, I will travel across that network,” said Master Valdi. “It will be a grand journey through the static, as I search for the original Haven.”
Master Valdi’s grip tightened around Asira’s shoulder.
“And when I leave for that Haven,” said Master Valdi. “I’ll need people to assist with operations back here.”
Master Valdi leaned in close.
“You will be one of those people, Asira,” said Master Valdi.
Asira smacked Master Valdi’s hand away.
“No, I’m done working for you!” yelled Asira. “I’m your guild member; I’m not your slave!”
“Bah, of course not,” said Master Valdi. “Indentured servant would be more accurate. You see, you still owe me a great debt.”
“My debt’s paid!” said Asira. “I told you Chief’s power! I don’t owe you anything!”
“Your debt may be settled,” said Master Valdi. “But Danny’s debt remains outstanding.”
Asira froze solid.
“Ah yes, I’m sure you remember Danny,” said Master Valdi. “Danny sent you my way after all. He’s your brother, isn’t he?”
“He’s not my brother,” said Asira.
“Well, he must be close,” said Master Valdi. “The two of you ran that floor four sanctuary for quite some time. Until you sold him out, that is.”
Master Valdi ran his curved blade down Asira’s sleeve.
“I was simply one of Danny’s clients,” said Master Valdi. “Until he asked me to save him. I did, of course. But in exchange, his sanctuary became my sanctuary.”
Asira clenched her swords.
“Typical Asira,” said Master Valdi. “Such a heartless thing to do. I saved your brother, while you left him for the enforcers to pick clean –”
“He’s not my brother!“ yelled Asira. “I don’t give a shit about Danny!”
“I see,” said Master Valdi. “Well, maybe this next bit will be easy then: Danny is dead.”
Asira choked on a sudden breath, both swords trembling.
“Such a terrible death too,” said Master Valdi. “I’ll spare you the details. And the photos; you wouldn’t recognize him now.”
Asira breathed deep, tears creeping out from the corner of her eyes.
Master Valdi sneered.
“So you do care after all,” said Master Valdi.
“Shut up!” yelled Asira. “Please, just tell me what this has to do with me!”
“Well, with Danny dead, someone will need to run my sanctuary,” said Master Valdi. “Someone who knows his operations. Someone like you, Asira!”
Asira slapped her swords against the ground.
“No!” shouted Asira. “I’m done with that life! I’m done with floor four!”
“Well according to the Haven, that’s not quite true,” said Master Valdi. “Floor four is your birth-floor, you see. Should you lose your room assignment, it’s the floor you’ll return to.”
Master Valdi fiddled with his palm menus.
“According to enforcer records, you’re off the grid,” said Master Valdi. “I’m certain your unit mates Shae and Bander are too. And poor Janzo; he unwittingly performed a serious misdemeanor: unreported harboring. He may lose several floors from it.”
Asira’s eyes widened.
Master Valdi grinned with pearly white fangs.
“They’re silly laws, I know,” said Master Valdi. “So silly in fact, they’re not typically enforced. But if someone like me were to file a report, enforcers would have no choice but to respond.”
“You can’t do this!” cried Asira. “You can’t!”
“But I can, Asira,” said Master Valdi. “I’m the Haven’s core distributor. I get the Haven what it needs, and the Haven gets me what I need.”
Asira leaned on one sword, breathing heavily.
Master Valdi loomed over her, fangs bared.
“I know you’ll make the right choice, Asira,” said Master Valdi. “Because you don’t have a choice.”
Master Valdi’s hand swooped across her shoulder.
“You’re just like me,” said Master Valdi. “You’re a survivor. You’ll do anything, hurt anyone to save yourself.”
Master Valdi’s hand scooped Asira’s chin.
“What do you survive for, Asira?” asked Master Valdi. “Perhaps you have unclaimed ambitions. Or maybe you run on instinct alone, like an insect lashing out at a boot with its stinger.”
Master Valdi rested a hand on Asira’s shoulder.
“Maybe it’s Shae?”
Asira tensed.
A twisted grin weaved across Master Valdi’s lips.
“I had a hunch,” said Master Valdi. “Typical Asira. You’ve destroyed everyone who’s ever trusted you. You ruined Danny. And Chief. I’ll enjoy watching you destroy Shae –”
“Enough!” Asira screeched.
Asira twisted Master Valdi’s wrist. With a judo pivot, Asira hurled him down the pyramid stairs.
“I’ll fight the Wizard Triplets for you,” said Asira. “And then I’ll complete the Tower. But after that, we’re done. We’re really done! For good!”
Master Valdi groaned, crawling back to his feet. His lips contorted into a furious scowl.
“Now please, let me get back to work,” said Asira. “I have wizards to kill.”
Master Valdi twirled his dagger.
“Yes, we’ll finish this conversation later,” said Master Valdi. “I was just eager to deliver the good news.”
Asira ignored him, tapping into her palm interface.
“You’ll understand your situation soon,” said Master Valdi. “I can hurt you in more ways than you know.”
With a slight of hand, Master Valdi’s black dagger swapped out for a glowing white one. This new dagger fazed in and out of existence, dripping with transparent cubes.
“Be grateful for the opportunity,” said Master Valdi. “You’ll remain useful to me. After the Tower, I may scale back the Deadly Skulls.”
Master Valdi grabbed Asira’s wrist.
“Make sure you make the cut!”
Master Valdi’s pale dagger tore across Asira’s forearm.
Asira shrieked, allowing her swords to bounce down the pyramid stairs. The wound hurt more than it should - five, no, ten times more than it should. It was unlike any pain she’d felt in Zero Space; it was akin to Haven pain.
Wait –
No, it couldn’t be –
[THE HAVEN]
Esara ripped off her headset, glancing down at her forearm –
There it was - a long strip of severed flesh, blood gushing down her sleeve and across her computer chair.
Esara wailed, shambling towards the bathroom. Jay, Janzo, and Bander sat snug in their headsets, oblivious to her cries. That was probably for the best; Esara preferred they didn’t see her like this. Or see her arm like that.
She slammed the bathroom door, rinsing her wound with a steady stream of shower water. Her tear-stained face stared back from an adjacent mirror. Damp shadows encircled her eyes. Snot and drool dribbled down her chin.
Her wound gushed like a volcanic pour, swirling into the drain below. Maybe she could let it bleed - bleed out until she drifted into a cold endless sleep. No more Haven. No more Zero Space. Just a quiet, empty place where she couldn’t hurt anyone else. Where she couldn’t hurt herself –
No.
Esara wrapped a towel around her forearm, squeezing it tight until the bleeding ceased. Tears streamed from her glassy eyes, forming small puddles across beige tiles. Why did she bother surviving? She felt unqualified to answer that question. But she did it regardless, squeezing her wrist and holding on tight.
[ZERO SPACE]
Syadd’s head hung low, all six brutoid eyes fixated on the grass crumpling beneath her feet. Her mind traveled twenty steps ahead of her, contemplating a whole multiverse of possible outcomes. This was Syadd’s last chance to impress Master Valdi. A lifetime following Shae wasn’t a life worth living. She needed to do something, anything to dig herself out of this hole.
A dark goblin screeched, sprinting out from between two trees.
“Blast it!” yelled Syadd. “Which one of you idiots triggered that Dark Goblin?”
“You did,” said Bowman.
Syadd grimaced, stepping away.
“They’re impossible to see!” shouted Syadd. “Those blasted trees are too dense!”
The dark goblin pounced –
“STORM SHIELD!!”
Syadd’s flail orbited the dark goblin like a tether ball, snaking around it and fastening it to a tree. The dark goblin squealed like an indignant hog, chomping at its chains.
“Blast it,” shouted Syadd. “Kill it now! It’s going to break my weapon!”
“FURY STRIKES!!” shouted Dane.
A thousand glowing red fists punished the dark goblin’s body –
– But the dark goblin took it like a champ.
“SUBTLE SLASH!!” shouted Lanzer.
Lanzer slid by at supersonic speed.
SLICE
Lanzer’s claws segmented the tree –
– But the dark goblin remained whole.
Free from its bindings, the dark goblin leapt upon Syadd, ripping off three of her four arms.
“HOMING SHOT!” shouted Bowman.
An arrow forged past the dark goblin’s teeth, settling down in its throat.
The dark goblin croaked, then joined the fallen tree, out like a log.
Syadd fell to her knees, supporting herself with her final arm.
“Auron!” yelled Syadd. “Heals!”
Auron sucked his lollipop, taking his sweet time.
“Auron!” Syadd screamed again.
Auron steadily withdrew his sucker, like a car backing out of a driveway onto a major road.
“RAVE REVIVE!”
The wounds across Syadd’s body sealed shut as she busted a move. It was an intricate flamboyant move; one that would have made a ballerina blush. She swayed and contorted in ways contrary to her anatomy; it looked as painful as it did ridiculous.
“Eh, I’m saving that replay,” said Auron.
Syadd ended her routine with an agonizing front-splits, her wounds and dignity depleted.
“Blasted healer,” said Syadd, crawling to her feet. “When I say Heals, you heal!”
“I did heal,” said Auron.
“Immediately!”
“Meh, I didn’t see the urgency.”
Lanzer poked the dark goblin corpse with a finger. A single arrow protruded from its mouth like an elongated bucktooth.
“Wow wow wow,” said Lanzer. “Bowman, that’s the second Dark Goblin I’ve seen you kill!”
“It’s simple,” said Bowman. “Just aim for the mouth. I saw Shae do it in the Dragon Sword replays.”
Auron watched a replay of his own, laughing as it played on his palm.
Syadd seized Auron’s wrist.
“Stop slacking!” snarled Syadd. “No more watching replays. Or porn. Or browsing the forums. Stay focused! We have no idea what this wizard can do.”
Auron ripped his wrist free.
“Eh, reading the forums would do you some good,” said Auron. “There’s some sort of calamity in the Haven. Rumors say it’s a static breach. A big one.”
Dane’s demonoid ears perked up.
“That’s on the forums?” asked Dane.
“Eh, not the normal forums,” said Auron. “Private forums. People post all sorts of shit there. Those enforcer pricks would shut ‘em down quick if they found ‘em.”
Dane’s eyes narrowed.
“Tell me more about these forums,” said Dane.
Syadd’s flail flattened a flowerbed.
“Quiet!” said Syadd. “Your blasted bickering will alert Dark Goblins.”
Bowman shook his head.
“Disagree,” said Bowman. “Dark goblins aggro on range, not sound. And Auron, watch yourself. The Healer Killer comes out during static breaches. Don’t answer your door.”
“Meh, I don’t answer my door anyway,” said Auron.
Dane’s demonoid eyes opened wide.
“Bez,” said Dane.
Dane fell still and silent.
Auron slurped his sucker.
“Eh, did he just say Bez?,” asked Auron. “That’s weird.”
Bowman nudged Dane with an arrow.
“He’s AFK,” said Bowman.
“Blast it!” shouted Syadd. “That’s just perfect.”
Lanzer hoisted Dane onto his shoulders.
“He kinda does that sometimes,” said Lanzer. “He’ll be back. Probably.”
“Leave him,” said Syadd.
“What what what?” asked Lanzer. “We can’t leave Dane. We need him!”
“He’s a liability,” said Syadd.
“A dark goblin will eat him!” said Lanzer.
Syadd smirked.
“That’s one less dark goblin eating us!”
***
Umi’s foot crunched down on what he assumed was a rock. That rock however had burnt black hair and charred rotted teeth. It fell apart beneath his foot, assaulting his nostrils with the scent of a thousand overcooked burgers.
“Oops!” Umi shouted. “Sorry about that, buddy!”
Shae unapologetically trampled several blackened skeletons, surveying the remains of Trader Town:
There wasn’t much left of the once-loud city. A plague of flame infected nearly every building. Nearby, a stairway became a flare-way. The belltower was now a helltower. And that train-station turned into a literal fire-station – Shae smacked his own head. These puns were too much for him.
“Holy snap,” said Bez. “We’re too late!”
Tambien nudged Bez with a metal tentacle.
“Nay, my naive companion,” said Tambien. “Look:”
Distant figures battled against other distant figures. Some distant figures were on fire. Some appeared to be made of fire.
“There are still people who fight,” said Tambien. “Where there are people, there is hope.”
Kezzle flapped her wings.
Dalli rose on his leggoid legs, getting a birds-eye view of their surroundings. A swirling red tornado rose in Trader Town’s central plaza, funneling down from the heavens like a divine drill burrowing to hell. It cycled clouds of dark smoke, adorned with black patches of molten ash and ribbons of fiery blue lightning.
Umi tapped on Dalli’s leg.
“How’s it looking, buddy?” asked Umi.
“Bad,” said Dalli. “Very bad.”
Shae glanced down as a series of chimes rang out from his palm –
BANDER: shae
BANDER: we’re fcuked
BANDER: *fucked
BANDER: asira’s not here
BANDER: we’re dying
BANDER: help shae
BANDER: please right now hurry
“The shit?” asked Shae.
The entire party turned towards Shae.
“Dalli, take over,” said Shae. “I gotta jet.”
“Where the hell are you going?” asked Dalli.
“Sunlight Forest,” said Shae. “Something’s up.”
***
Bander tapped out a message on his palm:
BANDER: shae
BANDER: hurry your slow ass up
Bander squeaked as a Dark Goblin booted him into a tree. The dark goblin approached with a wicked grin, long claws dangling like wind chimes.
“Oh shit,” said Bander. ‘Oh shit shit –”
Wagger leapt onto the Dark Goblin, shoving two sticks of TNT into its mouth.
“BIG EXPLOSION!” yelled Wagger.
Wagger flipped backwards as the TNT detonated, popping the dark goblin’s head like an uncorked bottle of champaign.
Bander brushed bits of bark from his cloak.
“Thanks for the save, weirdo,” said Bander.
“We magicoids gotta stick together,” said Wagger.
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.
Two more dark goblins approached from the trees.
Wagger released a shrill laugh.
“Bring it, you dark goblin losers!” shouted Wagger. “I’ve killed three of you already!”
Another four dark goblins emerged from the trees. Wagger grinned, gripping several sticks of TNT.
“Six of you?” asked Wagger. “You’re outnumbered!”
Another seven emerged. Then an eighth. And a ninth –
“PIERCING SHOT!!!”
A level three bullet bulldozed Sunlight Forest. It was the size of twenty Waggers, mowing down trees and dark goblins like loose blades of grass. In an instant, thirteen dark goblins, and approximately four hundred and eighty seven trees were obliterated.
Wagger’s jaw hung low.
“Whoa!” yelled Wagger. “That was cool as shit!”
“Damn straight,” said Shae, emerging from an archway of fallen trees. “I don’t have many of those. You gotta be stealthy.”
“We tried stealth, idiot,” said Bander. “There’s too many trees. We can’t see the dark goblins. This is impossible!”
Shae raised his shades at Bander and Wagger.
“Hold up,” said Shae. “You’re missing like, half the team here.”
“No shit, dummy,” said Bander. “Asira still hasn’t arrived. Janzo was here, but then he vanished. And Parper’s gone too –”
“I’m here!” yelled Parper.
Parper pranced out from behind a tree, his puppoid tail wagging.
“Hello Shae!” said Parper. “You sure destroyed an awful lot of trees. I’m glad I wasn’t hiding behind one of those!”
Wagger bit the fuse from a stick of TNT, spitting it at Parper’s feet.
“Coward,” said Wagger. “Hiding while everyone else does the work.”
“We’re all supposed to be hiding, Wagger,” said Parper. “That’s what a stealth team does.”
Shae stepped between them.
“I’m taking over,” said Shae. “At least, until Asira gets back.”
“Where the hell is Asira?” asked Bander.
“Dunno,” said Shae. “I’ll check up. For now, let’s scout ahead before Dark Goblins discover that big hole I made.”
Bander sighed, marching by Wagger’s side. Parper dipped behind another tree. Shae walked behind the group, stepping face first into – something. It was something he couldn’t see, but he could feel it. His nose felt it first, followed quickly by his shades. A crack etched across his sunglasses; a bloody fissure formed across his chin.
“The shit?” asked Shae.
Shae reached out - there was an invisible wall of sorts. Or maybe an invisible dome. It encircled him like a hunter’s net, leaving him just a few feet of wiggle room.
“Hold up!” Shae shouted to his colleagues. “Bander! Wagger! Parper!”
But the three of them were gone. Shae was suddenly alone in this forest. Alone with the gentle breeze, the dancing leaves, and –
“Greetings Shae,” said another voice.
Shae turned to see Zydan’s lumbering brutoid figure, hunched down below an invisible ceiling. His blue cloak flowed like a frozen waterfall, metal rings rapping against invisible walls.
“I apologize for how cramped this is,” said Zydan. “This is merely a hollow sphere collider. I couldn’t risk pulling your friends into this dev space –”
“The hell do you want?” Shae interrupted.
“Same thing I requested before,” said Zydan. “Come rescue me from the dev floor.”
Zydan lent his snout to the wind with an uneasy expression.
“Something’s amiss in the Haven,” said Zydan. “The enforcers are acting erratically. I believe the Haven may be in some sort of peril.”
“It is,” said Shae. “You have no idea. And it’s gonna get way worse if you don’t let me go right now.”
“That’s not possible, I’m afraid,” said Zydan.
“Neither is saving your sorry ass,” said Shae.
“As much as I’d love to argue, there’s no time,” said Zydan.
Zydan snapped his fingers.
Shae
Shae glanced up at the floating blue bar above his head.
“The hell is that?” asked Shae.
“It’s your health bar,” said Zydan. “Should that deplete to nothing, you will die. Instantly.”
Shae
“Is this some sort of hacky dev bullshit?” asked Shae.
“In a way,” said Zydan. “You must come get me from the dev floor. Immediately.”
“Fuck that,” said Shae. “That’s your fucking problem.”
Shae
“My problems are your problems!” said Zydan. “I’m your ticket to the Tower!”
“There won’t be a tower if you don’t let me out of here,” said Shae. “This is your fault for adding a third fucking wizard.”
“I did no such thing!” shouted Zydan. “I’ve literally never touched the wizards.”
“Yeah, it shows,” said Shae.
Shae
Zydan sighed.
“Shae, I just need you to come get me,” said Zydan. “Then you can go back to whatever it is you’re doing. I won’t interfere.”
Shae twirled his pistols.
“So that’s all I have to do?” asked Shae. “Grab your sorry ass, then hurry back here?”
“Indeed,” said Zydan. “You may have to deal with an enforcer or two, but that’s nothing your Level Three can’t handle.”
Shae
“Oh, and you’ll have to kill my father too,” said Zydan. “It’s safer that way.”
Shae
Shae scratched his chin with his pistol.
“No,” said Shae.
Shae
Zydan clenched his fists.
“You have to!” yelled Zydan.
“I don’t have to do shit for you,” said Shae. “Go kill your own dad. I’ve got problems of my own. Problems you made!”
Shae
Shae stared into Zydan’s six eyes.
“So you gonna kill me?” asked Shae. “Or are you going to let me save this god damn Haven?”
Shae
Zydan scowled with six furious blue eyes.
“Goodbye, Shae,” said Zydan.
Shae
Shae exploded into a billion particles of red - those particles went everywhere. All over the grass, all over the invisible barrier, and all over Zydan’s baby blue cloak.
[THE HAVEN]
Jay ripped off his headset, using every foul word in his vocabulary.
“What the fuck?” screamed Jay. “What the actual fuck?”
Jay kicked the leg of his desk.
“Fucking Zydan!” yelled Jay. “Fucking asshole!”
Jay nearly ripped out his oily black hair. Sucking in a violent breath, he glanced at his unit mates: Janzo and Bander were still strapped into Zero Space, but Esara was nowhere to be found.
“Yo Esara!” Jay yelled. “You in the bathroom?”
Jay stomped across the room, pounding on the bathroom door.
“The fuck’s your problem?” said Jay. “You taking the world’s longest shit? You just ditched your whole damn team!”
Esara replied with deep sobs.
“Hey, uh, Esara,” said Jay. “You okay?”
Esara sounded less than okay.
“Hey, uh, I-I’m sorry,” Shae said. “I didn’t mean to yell.”
Esara’s cries remained undeterred.
“I really need you to come out,” said Shae. “Also, I really gotta pee.”
No response.
“Yo, I don’t know what’s up with you,” said Shae. “But we can figure it out later. Just please, come out.”
Still no response.
“Your team needs you,” said Jay. “I need you. Please.”
The door refused to subside. The sobs however, seemed to.
Jay sighed and trudged towards Bander. He flipped off Bander’s headset like a soda pop tab.
“Yo Bander,” said Jay.
Bander shrieked, smacking Jay three times per arm.
“What the hell are you doing, idiot?” asked Bander. “You’re gonna get me killed!”
“Asira’s out of commission,” said Jay. “And I’m dead.”
“What?” asked Bander. “Oh, in Zero Space – wait, how? You were right behind me!”
“Yeah, I got blown up,” said Jay. “Don’t ask. Just go back and heal me. Look for the big pool of blood.”
Bander groaned, slapping her own face with a sweaty palm.
“This is a disaster,” said Bander. “Our whole team is pretty much gone. And we can’t stealth with the trees like that.”
“Yeah,” said Jay. “We’re pretty boned.”
“We’re beyond boned, idiot,” said Bander. “We’re fucked!”
“Probably,” said Jay. “We still gotta try though.”
Jay put a hand on Bander’s shoulder.
“Go heal me,” said Jay. “Hurry up.”
Jay marched back towards his headset.
“Give me a minute, jerk,” said Bander.
Bander waited for Jay to fasten his headset before opening up a chat log:
BANDER: this sucks
CEE_CEE_PLUS_PLUS: hey there, vent buddy
CEE_CEE_PLUS_PLUS: what sucks?
BANDER: everything sucks
CEE_CEE_PLUS_PLUS: what sucks?
BONE_ZONE_69: poop sucks
ENCRYPT_KEEPER (ADMIN): @Bone_Zone_69 No more poop jokes. I'm serious. Last warning.
MOONMASK_233: @bander we can’t help u if u r vague
MOONMASK_233: @bander we actually probably can’t help u at all
BANDER: you should be able to help. you all should. we’re hackers. kings of this haven. we can do anything. but we all just sit back and do nothing.
BONE_ZONE_69: i sit back and poop
--- User Bone_Zone_69 has been issued a five-day ban ---
PLENTY_OF_PHISH: Hi @bander you know we have to be careful about how we interfere. We don’t want to draw unwanted attention to ourselves. And there’s game masters to worry about.
BANDER: yeah yeah i know
BANDER: and don’t mention those here
BANDER: everyone on the servers dying. something real bad is gonna happen if everyone dies. and I can’t do anything. that stupid ass forest is to thicc.
BANDER: *too
BANDER: we keep triggering dark goblins
CODE_BRO_JOE: i know what you’re talking about
CODE_BRO_JOE: it’s zydans fault
CODE_BRO_JOE: that crazy bastard put too many trees in the forest
CODE_BRO_JOE: you should see the analytics
CODE_BRO_JOE: i’ve never seen player death on this scale
MOONMASK_233: holy shit @Code_Bro_Joe is alive
CEE_CEE_PLUS_PLUS: hey hey @Code_Bro_Joe
CODE_BRO_JOE: yeah @bander something has to be done
CODE_BRO_JOE: its going to break the game
CODE_BRO_JOE: we’re talking server wide crash
CEE_CEE_PLUS_PLUS: sounds bad
CODE_BRO_JOE: unprecedented bad
CODE_BRO_JOE: lose my job bad
CODE_BRO_JOE: lose my life bad
PLENTY_OF_PHISH: @coder_bro_joe It’s not your fault though?
CODE_BRO_JOE: doesn’t matter
CODE_BRO_JOE: i’m lead engineer
CODE_BRO_JOE: gotta fix it
***
Coder Joe took a long sip of coffee. His rapid keystrokes echoed through the walls of his cubicle as he located a file called SunlightForest.Vis.
A small lock icon lurked next to the file name. Coder Joe hovered his mouse over it, summoning a short line of text:
exclusive check out by zydan
Coder Joe smacked his desk, typing vigorously into his chat log:
CODE_BRO_JOE: shit, Zydan’s got the file checked out for some reason
CODE_BRO_JOE: and a few hundred others
CODE_BRO_JOE: fucking idiot
CODE_BRO_JOE: hes disconnected from our network
CODE_BRO_JOE: I’ll have to revert the file locally from his computer
CODE_BRO_JOE: shit
CODE_BRO_JOE: I’ll figure something out
Coder Joe perched up, peering over his cubicle wall. Zydan sat about five cubicles away, immersed in his Zero Space headset. Maybe Coder Joe could just slip in while Zydan was distracted. The fix would only take a second –
A parade of enforcers suddenly made themselves known across the dev floor, marching down the hall with DD as their grand marshall. Coder Joe ducked down as DD arrived at Zydan’s desk, slapping off Zydan’s headset.
Zydan let out a shrill cat-like yelp.
“Oh, uh, h-hello father,” said Zydan. “Why do you interrupt my work today?”
“Work can wait, though I suppose you weren’t doing it anyway,” said DD. “There’s an emergency in the Haven. You need to remove that World Reset script. Immediately.”
“We’ve been over this, Father,” said Zydan. “That won’t be happening.”
“It will be, Zydan,” said DD. “It has to.”
DD gestured towards his enforcer entourage. On cue, their weapons raised.
“You never learn, Father,” said Zydan.
Father
“Huh,” said DD. “I suppose you’re threatening my life again.”
“Indeed,” said Zydan. “I’ve made that quite clear.”
Father
“We don’t have time for this, Zydan,” said DD. “The whole Haven is in danger!”
“Indeed,” said Zydan. “That’s what my World Reset script does. I made that quite clear as well.”
Father
“Listen to me, you buffoon,” said DD. “There’s been a static breach. Something horrific has entered the Haven and the Enforcers may not be able to stop it. I have a safe room reserved for you. But first, you must deactivate that script. That’s my condition.”
Zydan’s rings rapped against his keyboard.
“This could be another one of your lies,” said Zydan.
“Huh,” said DD. “I’ll suppose you can ask the static breach yourself when it reaches this floor.”
Father
Zydan massaged his chin with his rings.
“Let me bring my computer to this ‘safe’ room,” said Zydan. “I’ll deactivate my script there.”
“You will deactivate it here,” said DD. “In front of me.”
“And then, may I bring my computer?” asked Zydan.
“Huh,” said DD. “I suppose I’ll consider it.”
Zydan narrowed his eyes.
“No deal,” said Zydan.
Father
“You fool!” yelled DD. “You would kill everyone, for what? To spite me?”
“You drew first blood, father,” said Zydan. “You sent that Cleaver after me!”
“Don’t talk to me about first blood!” said DD. “Take some responsibility for your actions. You cannot run away this time!”
Beads of sweat rolled down DD’s balding head.
“Zydan, the future of the Haven cannot be jeopardized by our familial squabble,” said DD. “We must resolve this. Now.”
Father
“I suppose I haven’t been the best father –” said DD.
“You’re not even on the leaderboards,” interrupted Zydan.
“Yes, I’ve been a terrible father,” DD growled. “But you’re still my family. Please. Let me save you, this one last time.”
Zydan brass rings clanked against his desk.
DD’s trembling hands adjusted his tie.
“I know it’s hard to forgive me for what I’ve done,” said DD. “I suppose you shouldn’t. But if you must be angry, be angry with me. Don’t punish everyone in the Haven.”
Father
“Zydan, please,” said DD.
Zydan held firm, both legs trembling beneath his trenchcoat.
DD adjusted his tie.
“Huh,” said DD. “I suppose this is it then.”
Father
“If I must choose between myself or the Haven, I choose the Haven,” said DD.
Zydan’s eyes bounced between DD and DD’s health bar.
“Goodbye, Zydan,” said DD.
DD lifted his hand; enforcer weapons mimicked the motion.
“No, Father, wait!” Zydan shouted.
Father
The health bar above DD’s head faded as Zydan pivoted in his chair, wreaking havoc on his keyboard. A window reading “World Reset Script” appeared, then disappeared from sight, descending to the digital afterlife.
“It’s done,” said Zydan.
DD gave Zydan’s monitor a once over, then a twice over.
“Huh,” said DD. “I suppose it’s gone then? Really, truly gone?”
“Indeed,” said Zydan.
DD gave Zydan a slow, deliberate nod. His shaken expression reverted to his usual grumpy grimace.
“Escort me to the safe room,” DD said. “And please escort Zydan to his.”
Two enforcers seized Zydan’s arms, dragging him away.
“Wait,” said Zydan. “What about my computer?”
“That will not be coming with you,” said DD.
Zydan thrashed in the grip of the enforcers.
“Don’t do this!” said Zydan. “You really shouldn’t do this!”
Zydan wailed like a drunken cat, thrashing and biting as enforcers hauled him away.
DD turned towards a legion of eavesdropping developers.
“The rest of you will be escorted to safe rooms as well,” said DD. “Try to be orderly about it. There’s enough space for everyone.”
Coder Joe ducked deep below his desk as a swarm of enforcers guided the dev team out the door, their weapons gently suggesting the way.
Two pairs of yellow armored legs stopped directly in front of his cubicle.
“There should be a programmer here,” said an enforcer voice.
“Check the bathrooms,” said another enforcer voice. “Developers are always in the bathroom.”
The yellow legs continued on their way.
Less than a minute later, the whole dev floor was cleared out. Coder Joe’s prize awaited five cubicles down - Zydan’s computer. It lay open and unlocked, beckoning him forward with its loving embrace.
This was Coder Joe’s chance. A chance he had been waiting for his entire career.
It was time to end Zydan’s madness.
It was time to save Zero Space.