[ZERO SPACE]
The Feather Birds arrived at a cliff-side arena. An ocean theoretically resided below, but it was too foggy to see it. And they were too high up to hear it.
“The dragon should be here,” said Asira.
“I don’t see him,” said Bez.
“I love it when the dragon hides in the fog!” shouted Umi.
Shae followed his nose to the arena’s edge, catching a whiff of sulfur and smoke.
“Randall, I can smell you,” said Shae. “I know you’re there! Come on out!”
No response.
“Fine,” said Shae. “We’ll do this the old-fashioned way.”
Shae blasted bullets into the fog, puncturing the mist with smoking holes.
“Wait Mister Shae,” said Bez. “You’re going to make him mad!”
THIP THIP
Shae’s bullets stopped against a scaly wall. A smoky snort parted the fog, revealing two glowing blue eyes.
“Stop hiding and get down here,” said Shae. “We won your competition, so we won the raid!”
Randall erupted from the fog, mist rolling across his vibrant blue wings. Both feet thumped down, tremoring the arena.
“Are you gonna honor our deal?” asked Shae. “Or are you gonna be a shit about this?”
Randall responded with deep chittering moans. Shae couldn’t decipher the sound. Laughing? Gagging?
“I am sorry you have to see me cry,” said Randall. “No one should see a dragon cry.”
Sparks leaked from Randall’s eyes.
“But I am not a dragon,” said Randall. “I am a failure. A tyrant. A monster. A hypocrite.”
Randall bawled.
Shae sighed, patting him on the toe.
“Randall, I-I’m sorry I said those things,” said Shae. “You’ve been a very nice dragon. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Randall honked out fire.
“My feelings have never been hurt before,” said Randall. “Low intelligence NPCs do not get hurt feelings. They just hurt players.”
Randall opened his own NPC menu:
NPC NAME The_Dragon HEALTH 21,442/21,442 OXYGEN 100% ATTACK 6 DEFENSE 8 INTELLIGENCE 10 SPECIAL ATTACK 1 Fire Breath SPECIAL ATTACK 2 Wind Wings SPECIAL ATTACK 3 Eye of the Green God
“I should make myself dumb again,” said Randall. “Or make myself a dumb soldier. Too dumb to be sad.”
Shae pondered the possibilities: a low intelligence Randall would attack. And a non-dragon Randall might glitch-out the raid. But a high intelligence Randall could wreck Zero Space.
There was no right answer –
There was only Randall’s answer.
“Hold up,” said Shae. “Randall, what do you want to do?”
Randall’s head lowered before Shae.
“You’re intelligence ten,” said Shae. “That means you can think. So think it through.”
Randall blinked.
“You don’t have to be some dragon boss-monster,” said Shae. “You don’t even have to be Randall. This is Zero Space. Be whoever the fuck you want.”
Shae’s pistols trembled.
“Screw anyone that says you’re a failure,” said Shae. “Screw people like Zydan, that make you a monster. Or people like Lanzer, who call you a monster. This is your life. Your path.”
Randall’s eyes widened.
“You’re in control,” said Shae. “I can’t tell you what to do. But I hope you do the right thing.”
The Feather Birds stared at Shae. So did Randall with those big blue eyes.
“You really are my friend Shae,” said Randall. “You are not just pretending to be my friend.”
“Yeah,” said Shae. “Friends fight sometimes, but they get over it. It’s whatever.”
Randall nodded, kneeling before Shae.
“I never thought I would make a friend like you,” said Randall. “I never thought I would make a human friend.”
Randall tipped his snout towards the sky.
“Maybe humans don’t have to die,” said Randall. “Maybe NPCs don’t have to be slaves. I could help humans and NPCs live together. Live together in peace!”
Randall’s head lowered towards Shae.
“You’ve given me a lot to think about,” said Randall. “The Wizard Twins will give me plenty of time to think.”
Randall stood tall and firm.
“Summon the Dragon Sword,” said Randall. “Summon it with the Dragon Song.”
Shae hadn’t thought about the Dragon Sword for a while. Or the Dragon Shield. He could barely remember the Dragon Song. Fortunately, he didn’t have to. The lyrics came flooding back to him, like a loudspeaker installed in his mind.
Shae belted the lyrics, making a futile attempt to stay on pitch:
Dragon Dragon Dragon,
You’re the target I’m baggin’,
You’re mighty and you’re fierce,
In your heart my sword will pierce.
Asira winced - it was the same melody that tortured her day after day in Heals. Something triggered within her; a sudden urge to decapitate everything in sight.
“Shae, please tell me that’s not actually the dragon song,” said Asira.
A gigantic sword and shield proved that it was, materializing in a whirlwind of green particles. The weapons attached themselves to Shae’s hands, ejecting both pistols from his grip.
“Holy snap, that’s super cool!” said Bez.
“I love your new weapons!” shouted Umi.
Shae loved them too. He spun the sword, batting it against his shield. Despite their gargantuan size, they were light as air, following his wrists like natural extensions of his body.
And like extensions of his body, Shae couldn’t remove them. They fused with his palms, prohibiting him from wielding anything else. That was bad - his SP relied on his pistols. Hopefully that wouldn’t be a problem.
“To finish the raid, you must do one last thing,” said Randall. “Finish me with a stab to the heart. It may take several stabs.”
“Uh, sure,” said Shae. “But where’s your heart?”
“My heart has been moved,” said Randall. “I do not know where it moved.”
“Holy snap, how do you lose your own heart?” asked Bez.
“It is somewhere on my body,” said Randall. “I hope it is not somewhere weird.”
[THE HAVEN]
Zydan tapped his rings against his desk, watching the Feather Birds on his third monitor. He’d seen the whole thing, but it was of little relevance. His plan was nearly complete; there was no reason to intervene. Not even the Wizard Twins could stop him now.
Or could they? Zydan knew very little about the Wizard Twins. Could they possibly affect what he was about to do? He didn’t need that extra anxiety right now. Maybe he should just stop Shae right here and put his mind at ease.
But then again, he really wanted to see the Wizard Twins –
Zydan slammed his mouse in frustration. He couldn’t decide!
So he’d let the dragon decide for him.
He pulled up the Dragon’s menu:
INTELLIGENCE 2
[ZERO SPACE]
Bez crawled across Randall’s head.
“The heart’s not here!” said Bez.
Umi felt-up Randall’s massive belly.
“Not here either!” shouted Umi. “But I love Randall’s soft tummy!”
Asira glided above Randall.
“I don’t see it on his back,” said Asira.
Shae stared into Randall’s eyes; they were dilated and devoid of empathy, like a rabid animal prepping to bite.
Asira peered at Randall’s posterior.
“Wait, I think I might see it,” said Asira. “Oh no, please tell me it’s not there --”
“Hold up,” said Shae. “Something’s wrong.”
Randall growled, his wings slapping the air.
“Get away from Randall,” said Shae. “Now!”
Bez slid down Randall’s snout as Umi and Asira retreated to Shae’s side.
With a mighty roar, Randall launched into the sky.
“What’s happening?” asked Asira. “Randall, what’s gotten into you?”
“That’s not Randall,” said Shae. “Not anymore.”
Asira froze.
“No, did he lose his intelligence?” asked Asira. “Please tell me this isn’t happening. Not after all that.”
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
The dragon circled back, magma dripping from his crooked fangs.
“Everyone, get behind me!” yelled Shae. “Now!”
The dragon descended, unloading his stomach’s fiery contents.
Shae raised his shield --
A river of fire parted around them. The dragon relented, swooping past with a deafening screech.
“SP Count!” yelled Shae.
“Six!” yelled Asira.
“Six!” shouted Umi.
“Holy snap, I have six too!” yelled Bez.
Shae paled - he was down to four SP. His maximum now was nineteen. That seemed like a lot, but it went fast, especially when Shae wasn’t keeping track of it.
The dragon circled back for round two.
“Spread out!” yelled Shae. “Find its weak point!”
Shae’s shield deflected dragon fire as Asira took to the sky. She maneuvered below the dragon, crossing her orange swords.
“LIGHT RAY!”
A level one beam lit up the dragon’s darkened underbelly. There - on the dragon’s inner thigh: a bulbous beating heart, larger than Asira’s torso. Red and black veins popped from its oily exterior.
“Shae!” yelled Asira. “I found the heart! It’s between its legs!”
The dragon’s tail met Asira, breaking every bone in her body.
“CARE STARE!”
Asira crash-landed on Bez, breaking his bones instead.
Umi gathered his hands in a prayer.
“Umi!” yelled Shae. “There’s no time for that!”
The dragon hacked a fireball towards Umi –
Shae intercepted, batting it away with his shield.
“I knew Ledgess would protect me!” shouted Umi.
“Ledgess didn’t protect you!” yelled Shae. “I did!”
“All part of his plan!” shouted Umi. “He brought you to me for a reason!”
The dragon drifted overhead.
“Here’s the reason!” shouted Umi. “GRAVITY SMASH!!”
Umi’s level two gravity dome dragged the dragon down.
“Up you go, buddy!” shouted Umi.
Before Shae could object, Umi hurled Shae in the dragon’s direction - straight towards its scaly rear.
Shae winced, pointing his sword up.
The Dragon
A quarter of the dragon’s health, instantly gone! Shae dreaded doing that three more times.
The dragon screeched, scurrying to the arena’s far corner. Its wings extended, flapping with hurricane force.
Shae blew backwards into Umi’s embrace.
“I got you buddy!” shouted Umi.
Bez followed Shae’s example, tumbling across the ground.
“Somebody, help!” yelled Bez.
Asira leapt upon him, lodging both swords in the floor.
“I got you too!” yelled Asira.
The dragon’s wings beat with robotic consistency. Cobblestone dislodged. Statues fell. Deep fissures stretched across the arena, threatening to tear it in half.
“This looks bad y’all!” shouted Umi.
“Holy snap, we gotta stop him!” shouted Bez.
Shae cursed. If only he could use his pistols to put a Piercing Shot straight through that dragon’s heart. Or ass. Or both.
Shae’s pistols skipped past him, towards the arena’s edge –
Bez swiped them from the air.
“Got them!” yelled Bez.
Bez fired both pistols a hundred times; brittle bullets bounced off steel scales. Weak bullets wouldn’t draw aggro. But Asira knew something that might –
“LIGHT BEAM!!”
Level two laser light ripped across the dragon’s eyes. The dragon screeched and rocketed towards Asira, blind with rage
“I love it when you save us Asira!” shouted Umi.
But no one saved Asira. The dragon’s arm swept her off the arena.
Bez slid to the arena’s edge, peering down with wide eyes.
“CARE STARE!”
Asira reformed in mid-air, gliding to safety. Close call!
But now Bez faced the dragon alone. Frightened dragonoid eyes met furious dragon eyes. Shae saw it coming. He dove towards Bez, shield-first.
Flames exploded across Shae’s shield –
And so did Bez.
Shae arrived too late.
“No!” yelled Shae.
Their healer was dead.
“Shit,” said Shae. “Shit, shit, shit!”
“We can still do this!” said Asira.
“We’ve still got Ledgess on our side!” shouted Umi.
The dragon returned to the arena’s edge, spreading its wings.
“Oh no,” said Asira. “Not again.”
“I love it when the dragon spams its overpowered abilities!” shouted Umi.
Asira’s ability was on cooldown. Nothing could stop the dragon this time.
Nothing could save them now.
Unless --
Shae’s pistols rested next to Bez’s charred remains. If only Shae could hold his pistols –
Wait.
Did Shae have to hold his pistols to use SP?
He dropped a knee onto them.
“PAUSE SHOT!”
Sixteen Seconds
No way…
It worked!
Fifteen Seconds
Most of Shae’s abilities involved pulling the trigger. But not Pause Shot! Contrary to its name, Pause Shot’s bullet was optional.
Fourteen Seconds
The dragon stood frozen on the ground, enabling easy access to its heart.
Shae took off in a sprint!
Thirteen Seconds
Thirteen seconds was plenty of time to reach the dragon.
Twelve Seconds
So was twelve seconds.
Eleven Seconds
Shae arrived at the dragon’s big toe.
Ten Seconds
He dug his sword into dragon scales, ascending up its leg.
Nine Seconds
Shae kicked off the dragon’s knee –
Eight Seconds
– Onto its upper thigh! The heart rested before Shae, red and black goo suspended from its leaking pores.
Seven Seconds
Shae’s sword plunged down!
Six Seconds
Nothing happened - that damage wouldn’t register until time resumed.
Five Seconds
Shae remained in place. Well, this was awkward.
Four… Three… Two… One…
The Dragon
The dragon screeched and jettisoned to the sky, Shae still attached at the hip.
“Shae!” yelled Asira.
The dragon’s momentum knocked Shae loose, ejecting him –
– Onto Asira’s back. She flew below him, wincing at his weight.
“Oof,” said Asira. “You’re way heavier than you look!”
Asira glided parallel to the dragon, matching its pace with a concentrated dive.
“Jump Shae!” yelled Asira. “Get him again!”
Shae dove from Asira’s back, jabbing his sword deep through the dragon’s thigh.
The Dragon
This time, Shae held on tight.
“You can do it Shae!” yelled Asira. “Just one more hit –”
The dragon’s tail spiked Asira down, splattering her against the arena.
“Asira!” yelled Shae. “No!”
“It’s just me and you now, buddy!” shouted Umi. “And Ledgess!”
Then, it was just Shae and Ledgess; Umi washed away in a flood of hellfire.
Shae paled as the dragon bent its flexible neck, reaching towards him with a giant bite. Snarling teeth bulldozed forward, wider than Shae’s shield and sharper than his sword.
Shae had to act now.
Twisting in the sky, Shae flipped from the dragon, slicing its heart open with a spinning swing.
Dragon blood gushed, spraying across the dragon’s blue eyes and silver underbelly.
Shae landed on his shield, sledding beneath the dragon as it crashed down. The screeching beast bounced across the arena floor before plummeting to a foggy death beyond its edge.
And that was it.
It was over.
It was all over.
Shae released a huge sigh of relief, collapsing against the ground. He giggled like no one was watching, even though the Feather Birds surely were. Countless others would watch too once this replay went live. But Shae didn’t care; his goofiness was well-earned.
Both the Deadly Skulls and the dragon were defeated. Next was the Wizards Twins, and then finally, the tower!
There was no fanfare or floating text to announce the dragon’s defeat. And no material either.
In fact, not much happened at all.
Wait --
The Dragon
No, it couldn’t be –
Did the dragon really require another hit? The damn thing took a sword through the heart - four times!
Somewhere out there was a living dragon, taunting Shae with a sliver of health.
Shae wanted to cry. How could he possibly do this all by himself? He could barely do this with a team!
He crawled to the arena’s edge, discovering the dragon far below. It circled like a distant vulture, barely the size of a coin. Why did it fly in such a strange pattern? Was it pacing? Waiting? Plotting?
No.
It was doing something else.
Storm clouds spiraled above, twisting and spinning like a whirlpool in the sky. Black clouds bloomed into chartreuse cyclones, emerald electricity crackling through their mass.
And in the middle of it all, something moved. Something bigger than a thousand dragons.
Shae gripped his sword and shield. He had to end this now. But how? The dragon had departed, without a return flight on its itinerary.
Well, if the dragon wasn’t coming back up --
Then Shae had to go down.
He froze at the thought. Conquering heights was one thing. But submitting to them? That was another. Shae was never afraid of heights; he was just afraid of falling from them.
No!
Shae could do this.
This was different from falling - it was a controlled descent, like firing a bullet. Except this time, Shae was firing himself.
At this distance however, the dragon would be a difficult shot, even for an actual bullet. And it didn’t help that the dragon was moving.
Wait, Shae’s pistols --
They were still near his feet!
w>2=6’a2=“p,..+qr
Shae froze.
A distorted noise boomed above him.
The clouds unshuttered into a titanic bulging eye. Three pupils bounced across its borders, overlapping and aligning like eclipsing planets.
6’a^!!d#_^!!2=e 9..w>33....+qroOO.’w- l- l~m+qr..%u;
Yup, Shae was done here.
It was time to go.
He stomped on his pistol.
“PAUSE SHOT!”
Ten Seconds
His last point of SP - a level one Pause Shot. It would have to be enough.
Nine Seconds
The eyeball in the sky remained in motion, weeping white cubic tears.
w>oOO....+qr~m6’aw>- l.’woOO&n“p,w> 4 4d#_~m.’w
Eight Seconds
Fuck that.
Falling sounded great.
Seven Seconds
Shae dove from the wall sword-first.
Six Seconds
He vastly underestimated how far this fall was. Holy shit.
Five Seconds
Shae’s eyes wedged open. His guts lurched into his stomach. Goosebumps spread across his flesh. Clothing crawled free from his skin.
Four Seconds
This impact would be lethal. Hopefully he’d take the dragon down with him.
Three Seconds
Shae’s eyes bulged, veins pulsing, teeth bared.
Two Seconds
His sword aimed –
One Second
Shae screamed!
The Dragon
The dragon howled - the final agonized wail of a dying animal.
Shae involuntarily mimicked the noise, his body scraping across jagged dragon scales. The impact hadn’t killed him, but almost he wished it had. The two of them twirled, spiraled and plummeted through the fog, until finally –
SMASH
Sand exploded beneath the dragon. Shae would have exploded too, if not for the dragon’s soft belly, inflating like an airbag. Near-liquified, Shae slid down the dragon’s wings, face planting in mud.
White waves crashed against the dragon’s body, spraying cold saltwater across Shae’s torn flesh. Thunder grumbled above. Fog concealed the castle completely.
That sky eye was long gone. Shae hoped to never see it again. And he hoped it would never again see him either.
His sword and shield vanished, releasing his fingers to the rolling tide. Slimy seaweed tickled his knuckles. Smooth seashells poked at his palm. And some weird red and black object - wait, what the hell was that? Maybe a chunk of precious ore? Or some funky hermit crab shell?
No --
It was the dragon’s petrified heart!
Shae lifted it with two trembling hands. Sand poured from its pores like an ancient tea kettle.
It couldn’t be –
This was a Level Three material.
Shae’s first level three - the first level three anyone had seen in years.
He choked out a chuckle.
This was worth it.
This was all worth it!
What would Shae put it into? Maybe an ultra powerful Piercing Shot? Or a Ricochet Shot that bounced twenty times? It could probably extend Pause Shot by several minutes, or Rapid Shot by several thousand bullets --
“Shae --”
Shae glanced over. The dragon stared at him, a faint flame in its eyes. Its scales were dry as jerky. Drool and ocean water streamed from its open jaws.
“Shae --”
Shae crawled towards the dragon.
“Randall?” asked Shae.
Randall choked, forcing out his final words.
“Shae,” said Randall. “I-I am sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” said Shae. “Humans can be assholes sometimes.”
“Am I, human?” Randall asked.
Shae bit his lip.
“I don’t know,” Shae said.
“Am I, an asshole?” asked Randall.
“No Randall,” said Shae. “You’re cool. Coolest dragon ever.”
Randall sighed, long and relieved.
“Are we, still friends?” asked Randall.
“Yeah Randall,” said Shae. “Best friends.”
“Best friends?” asked Randall.
Shae nodded, clutching Randall’s finger.
“I’ve never had a best friend before,” said Randall.
Randall’s dry lips curved into a smile as the fire faded from his eyes.