[ZERO SPACE]
“Aliens exist in the Ancient Crater.”
That was official Zero Space lore, but Bowman saw something even more alien here today. Grass and stones elongated, breaching the ground like zombified arms. Chalk stars scraped across the blackboard sky. Moonbeans froze in petrified pillars of pale light, gnashing like walrus tusks in a vain attempt to swallow the heavens.
“This place again,” said Bowman.
Bowman patted Lanzer’s shoulder.
“You can blame Syadd for dumping you here last time,” said Bowman. “The Dragon Sword wasn’t even here.”
Lanzer caught one look at what lay ahead - one look was all his mind could handle. His face retreated into his hands, smothering himself in the comforting darkness of his palms. Nothing could harm him there - nothing he could see at least. If death came for him, it would be swift and invisible.
The entity that nearly ended Lanzer’s life lurked ahead - the Glitch Man. Lanzer would never forget it, despite his best efforts.
Bowman flexed his wings.
“It might be just us two,” said Bowman. “I don’t know if Auron and Syadd are coming back.”
Bowman tapped his bow against his shoulder.
“Let’s figure out our plan of attack –”
Bowman glanced at Lanzer: Lanzer curled inwards like an octopus tentacle, paler than a squid. His claws dug into his knees; his toes dug into the soil.
“Ugh, what’s wrong with you now?” asked Bowman.
Snot ran down Lanzer’s nostril, creeping along his fangs like melting icicles. His whimper was pathetic; his demeanor was apathetic.
“Get up,” said Bowman. “Get up!”
Bowman kicked Lanzer in the thigh - Lanzer didn’t budge.
“I’m not giving you another damn pep talk,” said Bowman. “Get your shit together!”
Lanzer sat like a broken statue.
Bowman’s bow slapped against a tree.
“I said get your ass up!” yelled Bowman. “I can’t do this alone. The whole world’s at stake. Quit your crying!”
Lanzer remained solid and solitary.
Bowman snarled, punting rocks across the forest floor. He punched a tree trunk, shedding bark and blood. His weapon bent over his knee, both Bowman and his bow ready to snap –
A vaguely-feminine figure emerged from the darkened underbrush, her body shambling like a failed executioner. She rattled as if carrying a sack of loose change, dragging an iron ball shackled to her wrist –
“Syadd?” asked Bowman. “I’m almost happy to see you.”
Syadd looked anything but happy - a missing finger, a missing eye, and chunks of missing skin, aglow with neon blood.
“What the hell happened to you?” asked Bowman.
“Don’t ask,” said Syadd.
“I’m asking,” said Bowman. “I assumed that big laser killed you both.”
“We survived,” said Syadd. “Barely.”
“We?” asked Bowman. “Where’s Auron?”
Syadd froze.
“I don’t know,” said Syadd.
“You don’t know?” asked Bowman.
“I lost track of him,” said Syadd. “It was a big laser.”
Bowman scratched his fuzzy chin.
“Fine, we can work with that,” said Bowman. “Open up your replays and turn on free-cam. We’ll piece together which way he went –”
“No time,” said Syadd. “Let’s get moving –”
“Disagree,” said Bowman. “You know what we’re up against. We’ll need all the help we can get.”
“Not possible,” said Syadd. “Actually, Auron’s dead.”
Bowman froze in place.
“He’s dead?” asked Bowman.
“I was trying to spare you the gory details,” said Syadd. “The laser hit him dead on. It was brutal. Pieces of him all over the forest. Tons of blood. Not much left of him now. Tragic. Let’s move on –”
Bowman’s pteranoid eyes narrowed.
“You saw all that happen?” asked Bowman.
“Of course I did,” said Syadd.
Bowman sneered.
“Open your replays,” said Bowman.
Syadd’s body stiffened.
“No point,” said Syadd
“Open them, Syadd!” said Bowman.
“You don’t get to boss me around, Bowman!” said Syadd.
Bowman fiddled with his palm.
“Fine, I’ll just check the public replays,” said Bowman. “You really are tech inept –”
“Alright, I killed Auron!” yelled Syadd. “There! I drowned him in mud. It felt great. I’d do it again. Now, let’s move on –”
“You did what?” asked Bowman. “Why the hell would you do something that stupid?”
“That blasted healer had it coming!” shouted Syadd. “It doesn’t matter. His powers are useless here. I probably did him a favor –”
“Disagree!” shouted Bowman. “We have to figure this out together. I don’t care about Auron’s abilities; we need his brain. We clearly can’t count on yours!”
Syadd shoved her forehead against Bowman’s scalp.
“This is my operation!” said Syadd. “You’ll do as I say!”
“You’ll get us all killed!” said Bowman. “You already killed one of us.”
“Master Valdi will kill us if we fail,” said Syadd.
“There won’t be anything left for Master Valdi to kill,” said Bowman. “Did you listen to a word he said? Reckless, stupid, brutoid idiot.”
“Lousy, blasted, insubordinate, pteranoid dimwit,” said Syadd. “This is why you’re not a pro player anymore. Couldn’t handle the big leagues.”
“We are the big leagues!” said Bowman. “This is why Shae is Raid Captain and you’re not!”
Belting out a mighty roar, Syadd cracked open Bowman’s snout with her cranium.
Bowman fell, shattering his skull against a rock below. Blood leaked from the back of his head, overflowing from his cowl like a bowl of tomato soup.
Syadd staggered forward in stunned silence.
“B-Bowman?” asked Syadd.
Bowman lay unmoving.
“Shit, Bowman, w-wake up,” said Syadd. “Come on. Y-You’ve taken bigger hits than that.”
Syadd reached towards Bowman.
“Bowman,” said Syadd. “P-Please, say something –”
Bowman’s eyes peeled open, blinking away invasive blood.
Syadd gasped.
“Thank the gods,” said Syadd. “Thank the gods.”
Syadd offered a helping hand, but Bowman ignored it, helping himself up.
“I-I‘m sorry,” said Syadd. “I lost control.”
“Disagree,” said Bowman. “You never had control.”
Syadd felt her blood boil; she simmered down with a long deep breath.
“We need to put aside our differences,” said Syadd. “Our mission is more important.”
Bowman ran his fuzzy fingers through a fissure in the back of his head. His weary eyes wandered towards Lanzer - the clown-faced piranhoid hunched like a globe, immersed in his own little world. Syadd somehow looked worse than any of them - her physical health and mental health plateaued in a rapid race to the bottom.
Syadd scratched her empty eye socket.
“We can settle this later, Bowman,” said Syadd. “Let’s move on –”
“No,” said Bowman. “I’m done.”
Syadd blinked.
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“Come again?” asked Syadd.
“I said, I’m done,” said Bowman. “I’m out.”
Syadd’s rage resurfaced.
“You can’t be out,” said Syadd. “We have a mission. You know what’s at stake –”
“I don’t care,” said Bowman. “The clown-fish is useless. Auron’s dead. And we’re both injured.”
Bowman spat out a hefty serving of blood.
“We can’t win,” said Bowman. “It’s over.”
Bowman quivered his arrows, strapping his bow to his back.
Syadd’s armor chains rattled.
“Then what the hell are you going to do?” asked Syadd. “Just give up? Let the world get destroyed?”
“If it’s between you or the apocalypse,” said Bowman. “I’ll chance the apocalypse.”
Syadd stepped in Bowman’s way.
“I thought you were all about winning,” said Syadd. “Pro-player my ass!”
“Pro-players know when to resign,” said Bowman. “This is someone else’s problem now.”
“No one else is coming!” said Syadd. “It’s just us!”
“Disagree,” said Bowman. “It’s just you.”
Syadd fell to one knee.
“Are you proposing?” asked Bowman.
“No, Bowman, please, I’m being serious right now,” said Syadd. “Don’t do this. We’ll figure this out. Let’s put our heads together –”
“Last time we put our heads together, it didn’t end well for me,” said Bowman.
Syadd cuffed all nineteen fingers together in prayer.
“Bowman, I mean it,” said Syadd. “Don’t leave me here.”
Syadd bowed her head.
“I-I apologize for what I said,” said Syadd. “I didn’t mean it. I was angry. I need your expertise. P-Please be my second.”
Syadd gripped Bowman’s wrist.
“Or be my first!” said Syadd. “It doesn’t matter! Please, Bowman, just, be with me –”
Bowman ripped his wrist away.
“No,” said Bowman.
Bowman wiped off Syadd’s germs on his robe.
“I meant everything I said,” said Bowman. “You’re a worthless waste of server space, a terrible leader, and your character’s ugly. I wish I’d never met you. I hope the Glitch Man kills you. I hope it’s slow. And painful.”
Bowman shoved past Syadd.
“Stand up, Syadd,” said Bowman. “You look pathetic. If you’re going to throw your life away, at least smile for the replays.”
Syadd’s wrists trembled.
“Rest in peace, asshole,” said Bowman.
Bowman trekked through the dark thicket, slinking below the shadowy underbrush before fading from sight.
Syadd stood still for several seconds, her entire body seething with rage. Five furious eyes turned towards the trembling pile of piranhoid, sitting by a tree trunk. Lanzer’s face lay buried between his knees, the dorsal fin atop his head swaying like a kite in turbulence.
Syadd jabbed him with a foot.
“Get up,” said Syadd. “You miserable little Feather Bird. Get up! We’re doing this together.”
Lanzer remained motionless.
“I said, get up!” yelled Syadd. “You want me to throw you in that glitch zone again? Use you as a meat shield?”
Lanzer took another moment of silence.
“Get up, you blasted clown-fish!” shouted Syadd. “I need you! Everyone in the fucking world needs you! Are you giving up on me too? Stupid Feather Bird! Get the fuck up!!”
But Lanzer was out of it. Out of commission. Out of his mind. Maybe out of this world. If there were aliens in Sunlight Crater, Lanzer was surely visiting them right now.
Syadd screeched, raising her flail above Lanzer’s head –
Then she swung it through a tree –
And three other trees.
Soon, fifty meters of forest suffered Syadd’s wrath. Her thoughts turned to profanity; her profanity turned to screams. Screams of pure unbridled hatred. Hatred of Bowman. Hatred of Lanzer.
Hatred of herself.
Syadd bawled, huge tears falling from her five remaining eyes. This wasn’t fair. Her situation, her circumstances, her team – none of it was her fault.
At least, that’s what she told herself.
But she knew better. All of it was her fault. Bowman was right - she was out of control; she never had control to begin with.
She could however control what happened next.
The crater spun like a record, blending its contents into a soft-serve swirl. Could she really go in there? She’d dipped her feet in a glitch zone once as a naive newbie, but this was diving into the deep end; something unfathomable lurked in those depths.
Still, she was Syadd. Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls. Screw her official title - she was the greatest player on the planet. How many monsters had she slain? How many raids had she conquered? She could stand toe to toe with anyone. Bowman. Shae. And whatever wretched monster waited within those glitchy walls.
She had an obligation to the world. Everybody was counting on her. All those lives, dependent on the outcome of this battle. This wasn’t for her; this was for Zero Space itself. And for the Haven –
No.
That was a lie.
Syadd didn’t give a shit about the world; the world never gave a shit about Syadd. She was doing this for Master Valdi. He was the one person who’d looked out for her all those years; the only person who’d given her a real shot. Master Valdi would forgive her transgressions once she emerged victorious. The title of Raid Captain would be her’s once more, as would Master Valdi’s praise and affection –
No.
That was a lie too.
Fuck Master Valdi. He’d given her title to Shae, belittling her every step of the way. That condescending, cruel, evil tyrant mother-fucker - Syadd could succeed with or without him. She didn’t need the Deadly Skulls; she didn’t need any of them!
She didn’t need any of them…
Syadd squeezed her flail.
She was fine on her own.
All she had to do was kill the Glitch Man. Then Master Valdi, Shae, and everyone else in this god-forsaken world would line up to kiss her brutoid ass. She’d crush the Glitch Man beneath her armored feet. Mash him between her fingers. Hammer him with her flail. Man or monster - the Glitch Man would beg for mercy.
This was Syadd’s battle.
And she refused to lose.
With a heavy breath, Syadd took her first step into the glitching crater –
The change in scenery was immediate. Leaves seeped into the sky like hourglass sand. Armies of suns and moons clashed, sparking into combustible clouds. White lightning interlocked like a necklace of teeth, forming a pale halo in the sky.
Syadd marched forward, and sometimes, she swam. Other times, she floated along invisible winds which carried her like a melody through a symphony of storms. Shapes materialized into characters and creatures that once were, still are, or will never be. Certain characters looked familiar: Shae, Master Valdi, Wagger, Parper, the Goblin King, the Dragon, the weapon merchant Smith, and an assortment of random NPCs and players Syadd had tormented over the years.
Then, Syadd saw her mother in a cloud - an ancient Haven memory projected in the sky, as clear as a hurricane’s eye.
The old crone’s lips curved in the exact shape Syadd remembered. Gnarled and bitter from frequent Zero Space failure. And true to Syadd’s memories, her mother’s fist descended, crashing down across her jaw. Blood dripped from Syadd’s nose - it smelt like mildew.
Mildew blood dripped down onto ceramic tiles below - the same tiles from Syadd’s bathroom shower. It was the same mildew too - impossible-to-clean black sludge which stunk up her whole unit. That mildew crawled like earthworms across Syadd’s body, forming a red rash that squirmed up her shin, rolled across her thighs, and ventured into parts unmentionable. Just like the rash on her Haven self –
Syadd screeched and shook her head.
“N-No,” said Syadd. “S-Stop! This isn’t real. N-None of this is real!”
Syadd closed her eyes tight - this was all just a ridiculous hallucination. That’s what it had to be. Her eyes, her ears, her nose, her skin, and her tongue - each sense brought nonsense. Only her mind remained; one final reserve of rationality, and it was depleting fast –
6’a^!!~m2=?q..d#_~m.’w
That voice - it was the same voice Syadd heard in the forest, just before a huge white laser demolished half of it.
Sonorous shockwaves settled and silenced. Clouds rolled back into submission. Thrashing waves of land grew placid like a calm sea. Images of Syadd’s past, present and possible future blurred together into a rainbow haze.
She licked the blood from her lips, loosening her flail against her side. Whatever horror lay ahead, Syadd was ready. Ready to flatten its face with her fists, her feet and her flail.
w>2=oOO“p,..%u;d#_~m.’w2=b4&.’w..oOO&nw>~m+qr
A figure materialized in the tempest. It had no face to speak of - just a head shaped like a dragon’s claw, curved above a flowing jellyfish dress. Shapes spiraled around its body, synchronized in convoluted rhythms. It glided with a superhuman grace and the precision of a supercomputer.
Syadd’s flail sagged by her side. She managed to take three steps backwards before her ankle snagged in the warping ground. The very presence of this thing inspired deep primal fear, turning Syadd’s insides to jelly and her mind to mush. Her soul beat at the walls of her flesh, requesting immediate evacuation.
Glitch Man was a misnomer.
Glitch Monster was a misnomer too.
Glitch God seemed most appropriate. This irrational deity loomed over her like a giant’s finger. With one touch, it could deform her. With another, it could terraform a new world.
“N-No,” said Syadd. “D-Don’t come any closer.”
33.’w&nd#_~me 9‘]\2=- l..&n~m- l..
“What are you,” said Syadd. “What the fuck are you?”
The entity floated in silence, a hundred shapes swirling around it. Pyramids. Cubes. Octahedrons. Myriagons. And unclassified geometry with asymmetric angles and faces.
“Y-You don’t scare me,” said Syadd. “I-I’m not scared.”
d#_~m.’w‘]\ 4..2=?q 4d#_2=?q..oOO‘]\2=?q..%u;
Syadd would have wet herself, if that were possible in Zero Space –
But she suddenly discovered it was possible.
The smell of pungent plums erupted through her nostrils. Fresh pain reawakened in old wounds, slapping her bones like windchimes and mashing her muscles like tenderized meat.
“L-Leave me alone,” said Syadd.
Syadd choked on her spit. She hacked fluid from her throat in a desperate battle to breathe.
“Leave me alone!” Syadd screamed.
Syadd removed her Zero Space headset –
But she couldn’t.
The escape button teased her like a dislocated limb - she could see it before her, but it lay just out of reach. Her Haven connection was severed; this was reality now. Trapped in Zero Space with an unholy god, an aching body, and a damp stinking stream of hot piss trickling down her thigh.
d#_~m.’w2=‘]\&n%u;..?q2=+qr5yY..%u;
Syadd took a deep breath, and refocused –
Recentered –
Recalibrated –
Renewed –
She could do this. Four newfound words, repeated with unfounded confidence. She could overcome this thing – she had to. Animals lashed out when cornered; it was about time Syadd bared her fangs.
“I-I don’t care what you are,” said Syadd. “Some sort of god? Some freakish player? An overpowered NPC?”
The entity stood stoic and static.
“I-I’m going to destroy you,” said Syadd. “I-I’m Syadd. Raid Captain of the Deadly Skulls. The most powerful player on the planet. You can’t stop me. N-No one can stop me.”
Shapes orbited the entity like planets around the sun.
“I’ll take you down, right here!” said Syadd. “I’m going to save the world. I’m going to kick your ass. No matter what shape your blasted ass is.”
w>^!!2=e 9..+qr~m2=oOOoOO
Syadd twirled her flail.
“Eat my flail, you blasted monster,” said Syadd. “You want my world? You’ll have to go through me!”
Syadd released the loudest roar her lungs would allow.
“Die!”
Syadd charged forward. Whatever this thing was, a player, a monster, or a god –
She was going to kill it.
Her flail whirled above her head –
The entity glowed ghost-white –
Syadd screeched –
“STORM SHIELD!!”
A white beam the size of the crater itself crashed against Syadd’s shield.
Syadd’s flail flailed in the ivory sky like an electrified eel. Link by link, segment by segment, it dissolved into diamond dust, sparking and sparkling as it diminished to dirt. Her armor followed suit. Reinforced steel calcified, collapsing into cubic foam.
The rest of Syadd thrashed in the air, invisible tools dissecting her like an alien autopsy. She lost sight of her own screams, her thrashing and her pain, before losing sight entirely. Her sense of sound, smell, and taste soon followed. Touch was the last sense to go. Skin, muscle, bone, and blood deteriorated into nothing at all.
And then at last, there was silence. The final fragments of Syadd spread into the atmosphere, glitching and glowing before dissipating into oblivion.