[ZERO SPACE]
GONG
The giant bell rang once more.
“Trader Town maintenance will occur in one hour. We apologize for the inconvenience.”
One hour? Just enough time for Shae to buy DangerFace869 some new clothes.
“Finally,” said DangerFace869, as Shae emerged from two giant windmill doors. “I thought you died in there.”
Shae wasn’t positive he hadn’t. His experience with Smith had changed his perspective of Zero Space. For all Shae knew, Smith had murdered him, and this was all some strange, post-death hallucination.
The surrounding streets were empty, sans a few wandering NPCs. Most players didn’t have a reason to come this way unless they had business with Smith.
An NPC noticed Shae. “What a great day you must be having,” it said.
“Yes… you, too,” Shae responded, hoping the NPC couldn’t smell his fear.
Shae’s ears honed in on the creak of the windmill blades above him. Cold wind flapped through his fancy clothing. Uneven gravel poked at his soles. What else was this world hiding? Nothing around him could be trusted.
DangerFace869 waved a hand in front of Shae’s face.
“Shae?” DangerFace869 asked. “Are you AFK?”
Shae’s turned towards DangerFace869. He couldn’t tell the demonoid what happened; no one could know. Not that they’d believe him anyway. Still, he couldn’t just hold it in. The secret tunneled through his mind, threatening to escape his lips. Maybe if he said it out loud - just to DangerFace869 - everything would start to make more sense.
Shae opened his mouth to speak. “Well – “
An arrow flew into Shae’s gaping mouth. Shae stumbled around, making horrific gurgling noises, before collapsing across the gravel. DangerFace869 didn’t even flinch. He stepped over Shae’s quivering body, watching as it writhed on the ground, and then fell still.
“Someone shot you,” DangerFace869 said.
Shae had figured that out. Or at least his spectating-spirit had.
Two pteranoid feet touched down, sliding across the slick dirt. A hooded pteranoid with a massive bow kicked dust from his sandals.
“Holy snap Bowman,” yelled a voice from the pteranoid. “You hit him from like, three hundred meters away. And in mid-air too! That was incredible!”
A second figure hurried to the pteranoid’s side. This was Bez, a dragonoid with a golden microphone.
Dragonoids were a modern Zero Space race, favored by younger players. They had dragon scales, tails, and snouts, but lacked other defining dragon features, such as wings, and fire breathing. Some players called them lizardoids – a term most dragonoids found offensive.
Bez raised his microphone towards Bowman.
“Care to say a few words for my Haven-cast?” Bez asked.
Bowman relayed a stream of expletives, forcing Bez to mute his microphone.
“Hey, this is a family Haven-cast!” Bez yelled.
“You did notice I killed someone, right?” Bowman stated.
“Violence is fine,” said Bez. “Just no profanity!”
Bowman’s lips remained sealed – he didn’t do interviews. Not anymore at least.
Bowman used to be a household name in the Haven – his “trick-shot” replays received tens of thousands of forum views. Every guild on the server wanted him. Settling into a guild however, came with unexpected responsibilities. Bowman found himself with less time to create content. In a matter of months, his archery views went from second to none, to second-to-some.
Copycat players stole his spotlight; his glory days were over. But Bowman was still the original trick-shot master; no one could take that from him.
“Nice shot!” a third voice boomed. “Unfortunately, we needed Shae alive.”
A brutoid stomped forward, dragging a heavy flail behind her. This was Syadd, a fearsome enemy of the Feather Birds. Black chains coiled around her armor like skeletal snakes; literal chain-mail. Spikes jutted out from various places in her armor – her shoulders, her elbows, her knees. Momentum could transform her into a mobile wall of death.
“The plot thickens!” Bez said to his microphone. “With our target defeated, how will we get the –“
Syadd smacked Bez’s snout.
“I’m not here to entertain your three viewers!” Syadd roared.
“I’m actually up to four, thank you,” Bez said.
“Heal Shae, or I’ll give your viewers a real show,” warned Syadd.
That didn’t sound good. Bez tugged on the arrow lodged in Shae’s gaping mouth.
“I can’t,” said Bez. “He’s already dead.”
“Then revive him,” Syadd demanded.
“My power doesn’t work like that,” Bez insisted. “I have to make eye contact.”
Syadd ripped off Shae’s head, shoving it in front of Bez.
“Do it!” yelled Syadd.
“Dead people can’t make eye contact!” Bez shrugged. He placed his microphone by Shae’s mangled jaw. “What’s it like being dead?”
“Ah-hem,” interrupting Bowman, motioning towards DangerFace869.
DangerFace869 waited patiently. He wasn’t ready to make a move; these players seemed stronger than Shae’s previous enemies.
Syadd heaved Shae’s head into the distance.
“Who’s the demonoid?” Syadd asked.
“A new Feather Bird, from what I gathered,” Bowman relayed. “Shae was his mentor.”
Somewhere in the spirit plane, Shae shouted “I’m not his mentor!”
Chroma, the musicoid Feather Bird healer, skipped merrily towards Smith’s windmill. Her batons were almost the prettiest weapons on the server – she just needed a few more flower pedals. Normal flower pedals couldn’t be used; they would disappear the moment she respawned. It was up to Smith to adorn the pedals there permanently.
Her dancing foot bumped a rock. But it wasn’t a rock: it was Shae’s head. Chroma’s gore settings were low – instead of blood, she observed candy, pouring out from Shae’s decapitated skull.
Chroma followed a trail of colorful candy, leading from Shae’s head, all the way back to his body. Surrounding Shae’s body were –
--- Oh no, Chroma recognized those people. This was bad.
Syadd towered over Dangerface869.
“You’re new, so I might let you off easy,” said Syadd. “Shae cleared an impossible mission. Tell me how.”
“Skill,” DangerFace869 said.
Syadd’s muscles tensed. She calmed herself with a deep breath.
“There must be a secret,” said Syadd.
“There is no secret,” DangerFace869 said. “Shae’s a bad-ass.”
“A bad-ass?” Syadd laughed. “I’ve known Shae much longer than you have. You’re lying.”
“It’s the truth,” said DangerFace869. “You’re just an idiot.”
Syadd’s six eyes narrowed. Bez and Bowman took several steps back.
“Do you know who I am?” Syadd growled.
“An idiot,” said DangerFace869.
“I am Syadd, Raid Leader of the Deadly Skulls!” Syadd roared. “One of the server’s most ancient guilds, and soon, one of its most powerful guilds.”
“Deadly Skulls is a stupid name,” DangerFace869 said. “And you’re stupid too.”
Syadd’s chains rattled. Her body trembled with rage.
“Grab him!” Syadd roared.
Bowman and Bez moved in to --
“FURY STRIKES!”
DangerFace869 unleashed a series of fuchsia punches into –
“STORM SHIELD!”
Syadd twirled her flail with unnatural speed, producing a cyclone of stormy air. Fuchsia fists bounced off churning wind, rendering DangerFace869’s attack useless. Not a single punch broke through.
Fury Strikes was a common Zero Space ability; both Bowman and Bez knew how to handle it. They slipped beyond the demonoid’s punches, pinning him down. DangerFace869’s real-life training wasn’t helping here; Zero Space had a different set of rules.
“What a scrub!” Bez laughed. “He doesn’t even have a weapon!”
Syadd stepped over DangerFace869, her flail dangling above his face.
“Pain in Zero Space is, tolerable,” said Syadd. “But torture is still possible, if you’re creative.”
“SHAE!” Chroma screeched, from across Trader Town. Her healing ability had a simple condition - say a player’s name.
Shae’s head snapped back onto its body.
“PIERCING SHOT!”
A purple bullet passed through Bowman’s ribs, then –
“STORM SHIELD!”
-- A stormy spiral captured and disabled Shae’s bullet, moments before it entered Syadd’s brain.
Bowman hadn’t been so lucky. Life drained from the pteranoid’s eyes…
Bez slid to his side –
“CARE STARE.”
Bowman was back in action.
“At least shout your move’s ‘actual’ name!” Bowman growled to Bez.
“Healing Gaze is a scrub-name,” said Bez. “Care Stare is so much better.”
Bez suddenly found himself on the ground; DangerFace869 was on his ribs.
“FURY STRIKES!”
DangerFace869 rearranged Bez’s face.
There wasn’t much Bowman could do for Bez now. That healer Chroma however, was going to be a problem. She lurked in the distance, just off the main road. It would be a tough shot for someone like Shae. But not for someone like Bowman.
Bowman twirled an arrow between his fingertips, bending his bowstring back --
Chroma saw the attack coming from a mile away. She dodged behind a building as an arrow whizzed by.
Bowman cursed, loud enough for Bez’s viewers to hear it. Three arrows left. He was much better with stationary targets. Shae’s pistols raised towards Bowman, who was now a stationary target.
“PIERCING SHOT!”
Syadd’s flail zipped in front of Bowman.
“STORM SHIELD”
Another SP bullet wasted.
“Mad Shae?” Syadd laughed. “Storm Shield blocks all other Level 1 abilities. Go ahead. Waste your last three SP.”
Shae actually had four more SP. Most players had five, but Shae had mysteriously gained a sixth. That was his one advantage. If Syadd’s SP ran out first, victory was his.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
DangerFace869’s fuchsia fists rained towards Bez’s skull. Most missed their mark, forming a dirt-halo around the dragonoid’s head. This was yet another quirk of Fury Strikes – inaccuracy. DangerFace869 held Bez down; the dragonoid was still screwed. It’s not like Bez could make eye contact with himself.
Bez crossed his bulging dragonoid eyes --
“CARE STARE!”
A ridiculous exploit; all of DangerFace869’s damage was undone. A tinge of rage surged through DangerFace869; there was still much about this game he didn’t know. It wasn’t worth burning more SP; standard punches would have to do.
Bowman didn’t give DangerFace869 the chance. His foot slammed into the demonoid, sending him tumbling away.
“Bowman, use your power!” Bez yelled.
“I can’t,” said Bowman. “I’m out of SP.”
“WHAT?” Bez screeched, deafening his four viewers.
“I just got back from a mission,” Bowman said.
Bowman wasn’t concerned - his skills were more than enough. He aimed his bow, waiting for DangerFace869 to make a move.
Syadd beckoned Shae forward with her palm.
“How about this,” suggested Syadd. “You don’t use your power, and I don’t use mine?”
Shae was curious. His success on his last mission, combined with his new premium powers, gave him a brand new confidence. Previous run-ins with Syadd had ended poorly; it was time for some sweet payback.
Shae delivered a spinning kick towards Syadd’s head.
Syadd’s flail chain wrapped around his foot, yanking him to the ground. Her flail came down like a wrecking ball, demolishing Shae’s face.
“SHAE!” yelled Chroma from a nearby alley.
Shae revived, greeting Syadd’s eyes with over a dozen bullets. Syadd shrieked; five-out-of-six eyes were blinded.
“Blast it!” Syadd roared. “Bowman, kill the healer!”
Bowman turned towards Chroma. In that instant, DangerFace869 made his move - Bowman had seconds to react, whipping his bow towards the incoming demonoid.
DangerFace869 was counting on that. He had observed Bowman’s behavior; Bowman always did a fancy arrow-spin before firing. That spin had a consistent rhythm to it. A signature rhythm, which DangerFace869 had memorized.
DangerFace869 slapped the incoming arrow in half.
Bowman’s eyes opened wide. Had DangerFace869 done that with raw skill alone? Impossible! The shock left Bowman’s mouth wide open for a demonoid fist.
Bez stepped back, watching DangerFace869 mount Bowman’s ribs. Only three Care Stares remained. But who deserved them? Bowman was in great peril, while –
“Heals!” yelled Syadd, clutching her fractured face.
Orders were orders. Bez caught sight of Syadd’s final functioning eye.
“CARE STARE!”
Syadd’s other five eyes came back online.
“PIERCING SHOT!”
This time, Syadd ducked, allowing the purple bullet to pass over her. Her reaction speed was extraordinary. Part of it was prediction. The other part of it was Shae screeching out his attack.
Shae grimaced; there was a small recharge-time between SP shots. He had to keep his distance until his next bullet was ready.
Syadd tore a black chain loose from her armor, strapping it to the end of her flail. The flail’s length doubled. This was a trick she didn’t get to use much – perfect for ranged fighters like Shae.
DangerFace869’s fist rose above Bowman’s head.
One punch…
Two punches…
Three –
A dropkick from Bez ended the countdown.
“CARE STARE!”
Only a single Care Stare remained.
All of DangerFace869’s progress – undone, again. The demonoid shook with anger. Those healers were creating a real problem for both sides.
Bowman gestured towards Chroma. “I’ll kill the healer. Bez, deal with the demonoid!”
Bowman took flight to a nearby rooftop, leaving Bez face-to-face with DangerFace869. Bez had seen what the demonoid could do – this wouldn’t end well.
“Holy snap, um, I don’t suppose you want to be interviewed?” Bez asked with a sheepish grin.
DangerFace869 had other priorities. He ran up the side of the windmill, kicking-off onto a passing windmill blade. His body slipped behind the windmill’s cloth sail, hidden from Bowman’s sight. The giant blade creaked beneath his weight, inching him higher and higher above the pteranoid…
“PIERCING SHOT!”
Syadd dodged again. Shae really had to stop shouting that - it was almost an addiction. The ability just felt better when he name-dropped it. But with only 2 SP left, he’d have to break that habit. His SP was now equal with Syadd’s; this battle could no longer be won by attrition.
Syadd extended her flail further. The weapon was becoming unruly, even for a brutoid. She swung its full length in Shae’s direction. Shae dodged back --
“STORM SHIELD!”
The flail halted in Shae’s path, creating a circular barricade of solidified clouds. Shae crashed into it, sending him stumbling forward into Syadd’s charging mass. Every part of Syadd drove itself into Shae’s body. Her natural girth. Her armor’s unnatural weight. All of it shattered Shae like a meat-piñata. For the third time this battle, Shae was dead.
Syadd stood upon Shae’s corpse, keeping an eye out for Chroma. Chroma relocated to a rooftop, hiding behind a geyser of chimney smoke. Shae couldn’t be revived with Syadd on top of him; that would just result in his fourth death. Chroma had to make her last two heals count.
Bowman spotted Chroma - one hundred and fifty six meters away. An easy shot. He notched one of two remaining arrows, pulling his bowstring back, then –
DangerFace869 landed like an atom bomb, cratering the roof with Bowman’s body. A precise jump from a windmill blade – the demonoid’s second impossible feat.
Bowman’s wings hadn’t survived the impact; escape was out of the question. Only one option left – a trick shot.
Bowman fired an arrow, straight up into the air.
DangerFace869 wrestled Bowman down. Pteranoids were masters of the air, but ground-fighting was DangerFace869’s domain.
“Bowman,” yelled Syadd, from somewhere below. “Hurry up and kill the healer!”
Bowman was preoccupied.
“Blast it!” yelled Syadd. “Bez, sit on Shae. The healer’s mine.”
Syadd dashed into an alley. Bez relieved Syadd of her post, but refused to do exactly as she said. There wasn’t much left of Shae to sit on, and what was there, wasn’t especially solid. He kneeled above Shae, hoping that would suffice.
DangerFace869’s arm clamped to Bowman’s throat; his legs tightened around the pteranoid’s waist. In real-life, Bowman would pass out in seconds. Here however, Bowman could survive for minutes. Bowman shook his head - how did DangerFace869 not know about Zero Space suffocation? Shae was a lousy mentor.
Bowman just had to hold out a little longer - he thrashed in the demonoid’s grip, using his feet to push them both across the roof. Just a few more inches. A few more seconds. Until –
Bowman’s arrow landed - straight-down into DangerFace869’s skull.
An impossible feat of Bowman’s own – a perfect trick-shot. No one understood Zero Space physics like him. This would be one for the highlight reels. Another small step towards reclaiming his past glory.
Bowman rolled to the roof’s edge, looking down at a passing NPC below. The NPC tipped his hat, zeroing in on Bowman’s location with psychic precision.
“It sure is pleasant outside today!” said the passing NPC.
Bowman ignored the NPC, scanning the rooftops for the Feather Bird healer.
Chroma leapt to another roof, hoping to avoid Bowman’s gaze. Her shadow passed over Syadd, who searched in the alley below. Syadd grinned, whipping her long flail around a chimney, before scaling the wall with her chain.
The brutoid’s stealth was impeccable, especially for someone of her size. In just a few seconds, Syadd would have her chain around Chroma’s throat. The healer would suffer a slow and painful demise. Victory was all but assured –
“What a great day to be in Trader Town!” an NPC shouted up towards Syadd, as she passed near the roof’s edge.
Chroma looked back at six angry brutoid eyes right behind her. Time was up!
“SHAE!” Chroma yelled, launching herself over Syadd’s swinging flail. Chroma dove from the rooftop, shattering her legs on the ground below. A costly decision, that bought her a little more time.
Syadd grinned again. Even with Shae revived, the Feather Birds were doomed. She lodged her flail in sturdy roof straw, using her chain to rappel down the cobblestone wall.
While Shae was dead, he gained a secret advantage. Being a spectator allowed him to learn everyone’s position. Now that he was alive, Shae knew exactly what to do.
“Chroma!” Shae screamed. “Heal DangerFace Eight –“
Bez toppled onto Shae, clamping his hands around Shae’s mouth. Shae had already said too much; it was too late.
With 1 SP remaining, Chroma shouted towards the sky:
“DANGER FACE EIGHT… um, oh, no, what were the other –“
Her window of opportunity closed – Syadd’s chain strapped around her throat. Strangulation would take several minutes. During that time, Chroma wouldn’t be able to speak. And it would hurt plenty.
Bowman readied his final arrow, struggling to grip his bowstring between broken fingers.
“Bez!” Bowman shouted. Bowman was far away, but if Bez squinted, he could still see Bowman’s eyes --
“CARE STARE!”
Bez’s last SP. A final desperate attempt - and it worked! Even if Bez was out of healing, his entire party was back at full health. DangerFace869 was dead, Shae was pinned, and Chroma was on her way out. Checkmate.
The Deadly Skulls were victorious!
Bez smirked, uncovering Shae’s mouth. Shae was sufficiently pinned; there was nothing to worry about. His microphone lowered to Shae’s mouth.
“You’re live on my Havencast!” Bez said. “What are your thoughts on losing like a scrub?”
Bez wasn’t a “veteran” like Shae. There were still things Bez didn’t know about Zero Space. And more importantly, things Bez didn’t know about Shae’s team.
“You tell me!” Shae said. “Danger Face Eight Six Nine!”
That was all Chroma needed. Her neck was bound; a normal person would be unable to speak. But Chroma wasn’t a normal person – she was a musicoid.
Her two flowery batons resisted Syadd’s choking chain, giving her a sliver of air. Not enough air to shout, but just enough air for her to whistle from all of her fins. It was a harsh, concentrated musical tone. A raspy flute-like noise that resembled letters. Consonants. Vowels. Syllables. A strangled choir, carrying the words:
“DANGER FACE EIGHT SIX NINE!”
DangerFace869 leapt to his feet.
The demonoid bashed Bowman. DangerFace869 stomped on the longbow’s edge, flipping it to his hands. Stealing Bowman’s final arrow, the demonoid aimed at two distant targets – Bez and Syadd.
It didn’t matter who DangerFace869 targeted; Bowman knew there was no way a new player like DangerFace869 could make that shot. Both targets were over one hundred meters away. Years of training were required to --
DangerFace869 executed his third impossible feat of the battle: an arrow – right between Bez’s horns. Bez slumped to the side, abandoning his Havencast, which had dropped back down to three viewers.
Bowman couldn’t believe what he was seeing. This new player was too strong; he couldn’t let him rejoin the battle. He charged towards --
“FURY STRIKES!”
Straight into the center of Bowman’s body. More than enough fuchsia fists landed, shredding through the pteranoid’s torso.
Syadd watched in horror; her fortunes had reversed. She twisted her chain, snapping Chroma’s neck like an arrow. Shae stood before her, pistols ready. After eliminating Shae, Syadd would do horrible things to DangerFace869. Awful, unspeakable things. That insufferable demonoid would suffer.
Syadd was down to one Storm Shield – Shae had the SP advantage. His recharge time would be a problem though. Syadd’s flail could easily reach him; he would be dead before he could fire a second shot. There was only one thing left to do --
“It’s over Shae,” Syadd said. “Tell me your secret, and I’ll let the demonoid go.”
Shae had no secrets; he won that goblin mission fair and square. If Syadd didn’t want to believe him, that was her problem. Well actually, Shae still had one, big secret. And he had 2 SP left to prove it.
No wait –
Shae had 3 SP left - a total of seven. When did that happen? Before visiting Smith, he had six --
Before visiting Smith…
The rare material!
With his premium account, every power was granting him an extra SP. Five SP to start out with. A sixth from having Piercing Shot. And then a seventh from having –
Syadd made her move. Her flail swung out, baiting Shae’s SP.
Shae saw through her trap; he was ready for it.
His purple pistols rose.
“STORM SHIELD!” Syadd yelled, reading Shae’s movements.
“RICOCHET SHOT!”
A red bullet emerged from Shae’s pistol. The bullet travelled past Syadd’s shield…
-- Bouncing off a building…
-- Bouncing off a vendor’s cart…
-- Exploding through the back of Syadd’s skull.
Syadd’s six eyes opened wide. Her flail clanged against the ground, rolling through the bloodied mud. Her massive body collapsed, kicking up specks of dirt. A final heavy breath escaped her lungs.
The Deadly Skulls were defeated.
Shae screamed into the sky. He didn’t need a fanfare. Or floating text. The game didn’t need to acknowledge his victory. Winning was its own validation. Shae knew he was damn good.
This wouldn’t be his last Deadly Skulls encounter. Chief and the Deadly Skulls leader had some sort of blood-feud; Shae didn’t know much about it – that was before his time. Either way, they’d think twice before messing with him.
DangerFace869 approached Shae, kicking Syadd one more time.
“You said people can only have one power,” said DangerFace869.
“They can,” Shae responded. “What you just saw me do, you can’t tell anyone about that.”
“Fine,” said DangerFace869. “You’re the mentor.”
“I’m not –“
A horrible realization struck Shae. Syadd had been looking for a secret, and Shae had delivered it, directly to her brain. The Deadly Skulls now knew of Shae’s abilities. They would come after him even more now; they’d want to know where he got that power.
GONG
“Trader Town maintenance will occur in fifteen minutes. We apologize for the inconvenience.”
Fifteen minutes? That wasn’t enough time to get DangerFace869 some new clothes. It was barely enough time to walk to the market.
The goblin mission would have to wait until tomorrow; 2 SP wasn’t enough to do anything with. This wasn’t a victory.
This was a disaster.
[THE HAVEN]
“Girlie, girlie, girlie, you’re my cinnamon swirlie…”
Esara found herself humming along with that terrible song again. This was the seventh time it played today.
She stepped through a door behind the counter of Heals, running her finger across a glowing keypad.
6… 8… 2… 5…
Same combination. Same routine. Same song. Not much ever changed at Heals.
A heavy metal door unlocked with a beep, granting Esara access to a large storage room. She wedged a metal folding chair between the door and the wall – this door had a bad habit of closing on its own. If she got sealed in, she would have to wait for the next Marcen check-in; that could be days away.
The floor was squeaky clean (thanks to her), and the walls of shelves contained a gradient of rainbow pills in glass-jars. Marcen insisted on sorting them by color. It wasn’t efficient; Marcen just liked the way it looked.
Scavenging for a prescription, Esara failed to notice a hand reaching towards her shoulder from behind.
“Hey Esara –“
Esara grabbed the hand, twisting it at an unnatural angle.
“Ow, ow, okay, okay,” a greasy man said.
This man was a deserter. His raggedy clothing wafted a thousand illegal substances. He wore the baseball cap of some forgotten sports team, from some forgotten sport. An eyepatch concealed his favorite battle scar. Bruises and needle-holes ran across his arms and legs. Some of them were self-inflicted. Some of them were not.
“What do you want Danny?” asked Esara. “You shouldn’t be back here.”
“Didn’t see a sign on the door,” Danny said. “You doing okay?”
“Skip the small talk,” Esara demanded.
“Just checking in on you. We all miss you down on floor four.”
“Bullshit.”
“Okay, okay, I just need a few things for some, clients,” Danny said. “Was kinda hoping you could provide.”
“I’m on thin ice here Danny,” Esara said. “I can’t help you anymore.”
“You worried about your job, eh?” Danny asked. “This place ain’t for you. I’ve got plenty of work below. You can stay with me if you need to –“
“No Danny,” Esara yelled. “Leave. Now.”
Danny sighed, circling behind Esara as she stuffed some blue pills next to a set of slightly darker blue pills.
“Have it your way,” Danny said. “Just don’t forget who your real friends are, eh?”
His hand slid across Esara’s shoulder.
“I still owe you one…”
Esara grabbing Danny’s wrist, twisting it, harder this time.
“Touch me again, and you’ll need a second eyepatch.”