[ZERO SPACE]
Master Valdi swerved left as Dalli’s spear jabbed right, ripping through a vendor’s stand - it stood no longer.
“Dalli,” said Master Valdi. “What the devil are you doing? Do I look like the wizard to you? Senile old man.”
“I’ll kill you!” shouted Dalli. “I’ll kill you for what you did to Chief!”
Umi’s four forearms constricted Dalli.
“Hey buddy!” shouted Umi. “Maybe you can pick a better time to randomly attack Master Valdi!”
“Mister Dalli, knock it off!” yelled Bez.
Kezzle flapped her wings.
Dalli’s spear pointed at Master Valdi like an accusatory finger.
“Let me go!” shouted Dalli. “Valdi is torturing Chief!”
“Bah, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Master Valdi.
“Liar!” shouted Dalli. “The wizard showed me everything! He showed me that little room you put Chief in.”
A sick smirk spread across Master Valdi’s lips.
“Very well,” said Master Valdi. “Brutoid, release him.”
Umi’s arms unfastened.
“Everyone else, go on ahead,” said Master Valdi. “Find the wizard. Me and Dalli have some things to discuss.”
Umi slapped Dalli’s back nearly hard enough to break it.
“I love splitting up at the worst possible time!” shouted Umi.
“Mister, erm, Master Valdi,” said Bez. “We should stick together!”
Kezzle flapped her wings.
“Bah, we’ll catch up,” said Master Valdi. “My ability’s on recharge, so I’ll allow this quick diversion. Leave us. That’s an order.”
Umi crossed his four arms.
“Alright, buddy!” shouted Umi. “But if you hurt Dalli, not even Ledgess will save you!”
“Go easy on him, Mister Dalli,” said Bez.
Kezzle flapped her wings.
“Bah, we’ll rejoin you momentarily,” said Master Valdi. “Me and Dalli are simply going to work this out like rational adults.”
Umi and Bez passed nervous glances back and forth, trudging off into the smoggy horizon with Kezzle fluttering behind.
Master Valdi turned towards Dalli with a too-wide smile.
“I see you won’t be satisfied until we resolve this,” said Master Valdi. “You do know we have other priorities, right? Saving the world for example –”
“Save Chief first!” shouted Dalli. “She’s suffering because of you!”
“That’s not possible unfortunately,” said Master Valdi. “The dev team dictates her fate. It’s up to them to overturn their decision, and I doubt they’re in any position to do so at the moment.”
Dalli discharged a terrible throat-rending roar.
“Typical Dalli,” said Master Valdi. “Getting all worked up over a game. Chief can stop playing any time. The burden rests on her –”
“Chief’s in chronic pain outside Zero Space!” shouted Dalli. “She can’t just leave!”
Master Valdi smirked.
“Such a shame,” said Master Valdi. “But I assure you, her suffering is temporary. Unless the devs forget about her. A very real possibility - if we survive this, I’m certain they’ll have other priorities.”
Master Valdi grinned with sharp musicoid teeth.
“It truly is a tragedy,” said Master Valdi. “And yet, it’s a suitable fate. Insect queens belong deep underground –”
Dalli screamed and lashed out with his spear –
Master Valdi’s dagger deflected it down.
“Another foolish decision,” said Master Valdi. “Recall how easily I disposed of you in the guild tournament. Typical Dalli. Never learning from your mistakes.”
“I watched the guild tournament replay!” shouted Dalli. “You beat me by exploiting my power. But Shae beat you by exploiting you being lousy at the game!”
Dalli tapped the ground with his spear.
“I don’t need my power to kill you,” said Dalli. “I’ll kill you before your damn power recharges!”
Dalli jousted spear-first towards Master Valdi –
Master Valdi slapped it sideways, kicking Dalli’s long legs out from under him.
“Bah, I’m no slouch Dalli,” said Master Valdi. “And you’re no Shae.”
Master Valdi’s heel dug into Dalli’s spine.
“You look older than ever,” said Master Valdi. “I’m sure those old bones aren’t what they used to be. I can relate, at least in the Haven.”
Master Valdi’s knee drilled into Dalli’s vertebrae.
“Legs are a leggoid’s greatest strength,” said Master Valdi. “Without them, you’re just a skinny pair of arms.”
SLICE SLICE
With two flicks of his dagger, Master Valdi severed the tendons in each of Dalli’s heels.
Dalli shrieked towards the sky.
“How did you even make your character look this old?” asked Master Valdi. “I’m certain the character creator doesn’t allow this.”
“None of your damn business!” yelled Dalli.
Master Valdi’s backside pressed against Dalli’s back and side.
“People generally play Zero Space to escape the aging process,” said Master Valdi. “Look at me - a beautiful young musicoid. I’m more than capable of crushing your brittle body.”
Master Valdi gripped Dalli’s chin with both hands, stretching his jaw and neck to their limits.
“Submit to me, Dalli,” said Master Valdi. “Give up, and we’ll continue our mission. Chief will suffer, and if you remain disobedient, you’ll suffer further –”
Dalli stabbed his spear through what remained of a flower garden.
“S-SHADOW S-STAB!” Dalli choked.
Master Valdi somersaulted away as spears clamped around Dalli like beartrap teeth.
“Well played,” said Master Valdi. “You forced me to retreat with a level one. You’ll recharge before my level three –”
“Shut up!” shouted Dalli. “This isn’t a game to me!”
“Well, it is, in fact, a game,” said Master Valdi.
“Not to me!” shouted Dalli. “Not to Chief! This game is all we had! It’s all any of us have!”
Dalli furled his ancient lip.
“You took the one thing from me that mattered to me,” said Dalli. “You took her. I have nothing left. Nothing! Chief was my entire world. And you destroyed her!”
Tears dribbled down Dalli’s wrinkled cheek.
“I won’t forgive you,” said Dalli. “I’ll kill you. I’ll make you suffer. More than Chief ever suffered!”
“And what would that accomplish?” asked Master Valdi. “Typical Dalli. Never thinking things through. Take me out, and I’ll be back in eight hours. Then what? Will you just keep killing me? Over and over again?”
“I’ll kill you in the Haven!” said Dalli. “I’ll find you. I’ll track you down and I’ll end your miserable life.”
Master Valdi’s smile wavered.
“Bah, a death threat?” asked Master Valdi. “That’s uncalled for. It is just a game, Dalli.”
Master Valdi’s black dagger slipped from sight, swapping out for a shimmering white blade.
Dalli’s slender body grew stiffer than his spear.
“Yes, you seem to recognize this,” said Master Valdi. “Glitch energy. Straight from the glitches themselves. Perhaps you know what happens if this hits you.”
Sweat burrowed through Dalli’s brow.
“So Dalli,” said Master Valdi. “You still want to play these games with me?”
Dalli scooted backwards, shielding himself with his spear.
“I don’t take death threats lightly, Dalli,” said Master Valdi. “If you can’t be a team player, consider yourself cut.”
Master Valdi stalked forward, twirling the white blade between his fingers.
“I’m going to take my time,” said Master Valdi. “I’ll make sure Chief savors this replay –”
A tangerine meteor crashed down, skidding to a stop five feet from Master Valdi. Dust bloomed into an orange pteranoid, ruby light glistening across two spinning katanas.
“Asira?” asked Master Valdi.
“Hi Valdi!” said Asira. “I happened to be in the neighborhood. Thought I should make a quick pitstop –”
“Bah, what are you doing here?” asked Master Valdi. “I don’t have time for your shenanigans –”
“I don’t have time either,” Asira interrupted. “About fifteen seconds actually, so I’ll make this quick.”
Asira gave Master Valdi the finger.
“You’re a shit human being and your Zero Space character is generic and dumb-looking,” said Asira. “I don’t care what you have on me. I’m done working for you. Go ahead - try and tell people about me and Chief. You won’t get the chance.”
Asira spat on his black boot.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“Fuck you Valdi,” said Asira. “Burn in hell, you dictator prick!”
Asira launched into the sky.
Master Valdi squeezed his dagger like a stress ball.
“Bah, have you lost your goddamn mind?” asked Master Valdi.
He tracked Asira’s flight with two crimson eyes –
A huge circular disc parted the clouds like a Martian mothership. Smoke and smog obscured all but a few alien symbols and four snake-like heads. Each serpent wove together, creating a single circular mouth, aimed right at Master Valdi.
WHIRRRRRRRRR
“What the devil is this –” Master Valdi began. “A glitch monster?”
A pale beam parted the heavens.
Master Valdi’s eyes widened.
“No, wait –” said Master Valdi. “BLACK WAVE!!!”
But Master Valdi’s ability was still on recharge.
“No!” screamed Master Valdi. “Nooooo –”
[THE HAVEN]
V ripped off his headset, hurling it against the wall.
The headset exploded into a thousand shimmering white squares. His computer burst into an electric spray, rebounding circuitry and cubes across his fabric and flesh. Narrow fractures fissured through a large glass window, obscuring the static rain like cracks in a computer screen.
Blood streamed down V’s cheeks as he peeked towards his mangled desk - it smelt of burnt rubber and gasoline.
“No,” said V.
V fell to his knees, screaming –
“Noooooooooo!”
[ZERO SPACE]
Asira laughed and loop-de-looped through the sky, spiraling above a smoking crater. That evil dictator was dead, at her hands. Or the hands of whatever that giant glitch creature was. This was almost a joyous day. One target down - four more terrifying glitch targets to go.
“Asira!” shouted a voice from below.
Dalli crawled along the crater’s edge, his ancient body trembling.
“What have you done?” asked Dalli.
“I killed him!” Asira laughed. “Master Valdi’s dead! I did it!”
“No,” said Dalli. “To Chief! What did you do to Chief?”
Asira’s smile dissolved.
“Oh, um, I –” said Asira. “I-I –”
“Did you do something to Chief?” asked Dalli. “Were you working for Valdi? What did you do Asira?”
Asira glanced at Deadwheel – the monolithic monstrosity descended through the atmosphere like an earthbound asteroid, four thrashing snake heads swiveling like comet tails.
“I-I need to go,” said Asira.
“Answer me, Asira!” shouted Dalli.
Asira zipped into the distance, steering the massive disc monster along her path.
“Asira!” Dalli screamed in pursuit.
SNAP
Dalli’s injured legs steered in different directions, driving him face-first into the mud.
“What did you do, Asira?” Dalli yelled.
Dalli’s wail echoed through Trader Town.
“What did you do?”
***
“MASSIVE EXPLOSION!!”
Wagger ignited five dark goblins with two sticks of TNT. The force of the explosion swept her off her feet and into a neighboring tree. Howling with laughter, Wagger flipped through the forest like it was her own personal jungle gym.
Dark goblins were far easier to see with fewer trees. Easier to sneak up on too. All she had to do was drop down, deposit some TNT in their mouth and then BANG. She could clear out this entire forest by herself.
CRACK
Pale lightning slithered through the sky. This was the palest lightning Wagger had ever seen. Hell, she’d rarely seen lightning before today. In just a few minutes, she’d witnessed solitary bolts escalate into a raucous electrical storm, filling the atmosphere like sine waves in a malfunctioning defibrillator.
But she didn’t care - that lightning was up there and Wagger was down here; she was an unlikely target. And speaking of targets, she needed a new one. Maybe a lone dark goblin, peeking out from behind a tree. Or a group of dark goblins, camping out where players were likely to wander.
Wagger stopped short –
She located a new target - the perfect target.
A devious grin curled across her lips. She didn’t consider herself a sneaky magicoid, but she was quite certain her target would never see it coming.
***
“Shae,” said Parper. “Are you positive this is the right direction?”
Parper and Shae trekked through a misty marshland. Player corpses adorned the battlefield in a grisly decor. Dragonoid flesh draped across branches like clothes hung out to dry. Brutoid skulls wedged within mud like stepping stones. Leggoid spines stretched out across goblin spears, coiling down like barber pole stripes.
Shae stumbled over a magicoid’s foot - just the foot.
“Yep,” said Shae. “This is the place.”
“We’re heading straight towards the Goblin King’s fortress, during a dark goblin infestation,” said Parper. “That seems like an unfortunate choice –”
“Yeah, I know,” said Shae. “Do you trust me?”
Parper gulped.
“O-Of course I do, Shae,” said Parper. “It’s just that –”
Parper paused.
Shae glanced back at him.
“Just what?” asked Shae.
“Shae,” said Parper. “-- The wizard!”
A blue cowl peeked out from behind a curved tree, its flowing robe encircling the bark like a constricted boa.
“That’s not the wizard,” said Shae.
“It certainly looks like a wizard,” said Parper.
“Nah, it’s a trap,” said Shae. “It’s a dark goblin, dressed like a wizard. If we aggro it, it will trigger a mob.”
“I-I don’t understand –” said Parper.
“It’s not complicated,” said Shae. “I was a ghost for a long-ass time before Bander healed me. That gave me lots of time to look around as a phantom.”
Shae tilted his sunglasses towards the wizard.
“Those robed guys are everywhere,” said Shae. “I peeked under their hoods - they’re all dark goblins. Lots of players attacked them, and I watched all those players get owned. I’m not gonna make that same mistake.”
Parper panted happily.
“Impressive, Shae!” said Parper. “You’ve certainly optimized dying!”
“I’ve had practice,” said Shae.
Shae strolled right past the blue cloaked goblin towards a massive wooden wall. The gargantuan gateway materialized in the mist, raised like a titan’s shield.
“Finally,” said Shae. “The damn goblin fortress. Been a hot minute.”
Shae holstered his pistols.
“Alright, listen up,” said Shae. “I’m gonna explain what’s going on here –”
[THE HAVEN]
Daniel yipped as his headset ascended, nearly ripping off his foam puppy dog ears.
“W-What?” asked Daniel. “N-No, not right now. Not right now!”
He swiveled in his chair towards a horde of green computer monitors, watching him like predatory eyes in the darkness. Dozens of stinking players sat before them, their keyboards clattering like a choir of chattering teeth.
V gripped Daniel’s headset between bloody fingernails.
“Master Valdi!” shouted Daniel. “I, uh, erm, V, I mean!”
Crimson streaks trickled down V’s black clothes like wet paint. Glass and circuitry etched vermilion hieroglyphics in his flesh. One of his ruby earrings was torn clean off, creating a hole big enough for five earrings.
“W-What happened to you?” asked Daniel.
“Bah, that is not your concern Parper,” said V. “Is Shae with you?”
“Yes, of course!” said Daniel. “We were just about to –”
“Good,” V interrupted. “Change of plans.”
V seized Daniel’s wrist, placing a pale dagger in his palm. White cubes dribbled from its blade like melting ice cream, oozing between Daniel’s fingertips.
“M-Master Valdi,” said Parper. “W-What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Drive it through Shae’s heart,” said V. “Or his back. Bah, I don’t care! Just make sure he’s dead.”
“I, uh, erm, are you certain this is such a good idea?” asked Daniel. “We need Shae.”
“That wretched Asira just destroyed the one thing that mattered to me,” said V. “Now I’ll kill the person that matters most to her.”
Daniel’s eyes widened.
“S-She killed, Master Valdi?” asked Daniel. “Your character?”
V smacked Daniel across the face.
“Master Valdi is not just a character!” shouted V. “I spent a lifetime perfecting him. He was my true essence. My future! And now he’s dead. Dead!”
Tears formed along the edge of V’s eyes.
“Asira must suffer,” said V. “So Shae will suffer.”
V folded Daniel’s fingers around the blade.
“S-Surely this can wait until after –”
“Bah, don’t question me, Parper!” roared V. “And hurry it up. I have plenty more glitch daggers if you fail.”
Daniel stiffened, lowering his headset onto his trembling head –
[ZERO SPACE]
The pasty dagger remained present in Parper’s hand, glistening with wispy white cubes.
“-- So that’s my theory,” said Shae. “You got all that?”
Parper slipped the dagger from sight.
“I, uh, erm, sure, of course!” said Parper. “That sounds like a plan!”
Shae nodded.
“Alright,” said Shae. “Stay behind me.”
Shae slipped through a narrow vertical crack in the fortress gate, gesturing for Parper to follow.
A vast village awaited ahead. Trash littered the forest floor - candy wrappers, bags of chips, beer bottles; this was the aftermath of a celebration and the goblins went hard. Rope bridges swung above like party banners. Bonfires burned like birthday candles. Shae and Parper were the only visible signs of life. Other signs contained messages like “NO TRISPASSING”, “DONUT ENTUR,” and “GO A WAY.”
“Stay close,” said Shae.
“Yes, of course, Shae,” said Parper. “We’re very close, you and me.”
Shae gave Parper a funny look, then steadied his eyes on the road ahead.
Parper honed in on Shae’s position, swerving between straw huts and stepping over player corpses. These player corpses looked a little extra dead, leaking organs, entrails, and other things typically censored by Zero Space gore filters. Their eyes remained wide open, immortalized in their final agonized moments.
“The wizard’s gonna pay for this,” said Shae.
“The goblins, you mean?” asked Parper.
Shae peered at Parper – Parper tucked the white dagger behind his back.
“The wizard,” Shae said. “Were you listening to me at all?”
“I, uh, erm, yes, of course, Shae,” said Parper. “That’s what I meant! Sorry.”
Shae rolled his eyes, turning back towards the battlefield ahead.
Parper sighed in relief, drawing the pale white dagger once more.
“Ten feet to Shae,” Parper whispered to himself. “You can do this.”
The two of them passed a quartet of cages - these once housed villagers and an impossible puzzle. Shae had somehow solved this puzzle once, though the replays never quite demonstrated how.
“There’s a hidden ladder ahead,” said Shae. “We can use it to sneak through the trees. Should be easy for the two of us.”
“Yes, of course, Shae,” said Parper. “Sneaking is my speciality. That’s what I do!”
Shae glanced back – Parper slipped the blade into his sleeve.
“You cool?” asked Shae. “You’re acting weird.”
“I, uh, erm, yes, sorry, Shae,” said Parper. “I-I’m just really nervous.”
Shae nodded.
“Yeah, me too,” Shae said. “Keep it together. I need you.”
“Yes, of course, Shae,” said Parper. “I need you too.”
Shae winced and turned away once more.
Parper’s dagger drew.
“Five feet,” Parper whispered.
A bonfire’s blaze stretched Parper’s shadow alongside Shae’s.
“Yo, I know I said stay close,” said Shae. “But you don’t have to be that close.”
“I’m watching your back, Shae,” said Parper. “Just like you suggested.”
“Whatever,” said Shae. “Just don’t do anything weird back there.”
“Of course not,” said Parper. “Do you trust me, Shae?”
Shae paused.
“Yeah,” said Shae. “I trust you.”
Parper nodded.
“I trust you too, Shae,” said Parper.
Parper’s puppoid paws slinked through the soil, his silhouette as silent and smooth as the wind itself. Shae’s back loomed three feet ahead with plenty of free real estate for a dagger denizen.
Parper inhaled a deep breath –
He raised his blade –
“BOOOOOOOORING!” shouted a shrill voice from the treetops.
A stick of TNT landed between Parper and Shae.
“Suck it, Parper!” shouted Wagger.
BOOM
[THE HAVEN]
Daniel lifted his Zero Space headset, turning towards V.
“What is it?” asked V. “Is it done? Is he dead?”
Daniel tried to respond, but all that emerged was a croak. He stumbled out of his chair, clawing at a white dagger lodged in his windpipe.
“W-What –” said V. “No. No!”
Daniel tumbled to the ground, writhing like a snail under salt. Blood oozed from his throat, forming a crimson canal between metal tiles. The pasty dagger disintegrated into dust as Daniel’s body grew silent and still.
“N-No!” shouted V. “What happened? H-How could this happen?”
V screeched, overturning every piece of furniture that wasn’t nailed down. His surrounding subordinates ducked beneath desks, shielded themselves with chairs.
Snot, blood and tears drained from V’s palms as he rose above his mortified minions.
“Clean this mess up,” said V. “Now!”
Bewildered bystanders moved to wipe away Daniel’s blood. Others wiped down V’s bloodied body. A few dragged Daniel’s remains towards a slim door in the corner.
“The rest of you, find Parper’s body in-game,” said V. “Quickly!”
The rest of them uprooted their overturned chairs, strapping on their headsets with haste.
V stomped up a set of red stairs, pounding on each portion of the wall.
At last, V settled into his collapsed office chair, breathing in pale smoke from his sparkling computer. A giant window stretched before him like a home theater, projecting a glossy view into the static wastelands. Black rain beat against the glass, attempting to barge in through spiderweb cracks.
Somewhere out there was the first Haven, and within it, Zero Space’s original server. Maybe someday, V would see it. But Master Valdi never would. V’s precious character was dead, due to circumstances he couldn’t possibly understand or control.
He broke down into dark deep guttural sobs. Sobs that echoed through the Haven and into the wastelands themselves. Black rain drummed against fractured glass, beating out the dirge of a dream deceased.