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2.01 - Present Jessie - Day 129 : Myth

2.01 - Present Jessie - Day 129 : Myth

JESSIE : LEVEL 10

DAY 129 : A-DAY, FIRSTWEEK, EOS, YEAR 1

CENTRAL 7 : THE ADVENTURER’S GUILD HALL 1 : MYTH

I mute chat. I mute notifications too. I mute my entire goddamned interface. In other words, I turn off all the little System-assisted aspects of my new life. Except Central Air, of course. I’m not crazy. I just don’t want to see anyone. Or talk to anyone. The latter is easy enough. But the former is well and truly impossible as I wander around the biggest city there is. And what else would I do? I even keep breathing, wish as I might that I could stop while still turning ‘now’ into ‘later’.

Because that’s the problem. Now is now. And ‘now’ is still too soon to ‘then’ to be called ‘later’. I need it to be later. Much, much later. Should I just go somewhere and hyperventilate for a few days? I don’t think that’d take me more than a couple hours… But no. I can’t just skip over valuable training time. I thought I was rescuing Thomas. But now I’m rescuing James. As much as I value Thomas’s friendship, it really isn’t a contest.

And rescuing James means I have to hurry all the more. Physically inept as I was in my Earth body, I was never blind. I always knew how my brother felt about me. It’s part of what made me obey his shitty try-hard parenting after mom died. He would’ve sacrificed his life to save mine, no question. Hell, I thought that’s what he did. I already knew I was the only one he’d ever do that for. But instead, I just went and stole that from him. So I don’t care if he’ll ever really deserve it on his own. I’ll drag his ass to Heaven myself. And no one in this entire fucking inside of a ball is gonna stop me.

But before that, I need to ascend. The Adventurer’s Guild can’t take me there anywhere near fast enough. Not now that James is on the line. But I’m not stupid. I’m Level 10. I don’t have a Legendary Skill. I don’t even have a fucking attunement. I know I don’t stand a chance yet. I also know I need to do something. I just don’t know what. Even the idea of sleep feels gross. I’m restless and I’m confused and I’m goddamned fucking furious and I don’t know what to do with myself right now.

So I just wander. And I really look around the city for the first time since I got here. I look for something, anything, to help me get there faster. I look for anything that might give me a real clue on my best path forward. But before long, that devolves into just looking around as I find no real leads. Not to say there isn’t unsolicited build advice plastered fucking everywhere.

The otherwise pristine, almost futuristic glass metal towers in this district are utterly littered with propaganda and ads. Surprisingly few of these are for products. It’s mostly just build advice. Everything from how to compensate for bad STAT investment, to poor-performing Blessings or Skills. The further I wander, the more I stop to read each and every new one I see. If for no other reason that doing so is incredibly validating.

None of them, not a single one, mentions or implies anything like time manipulation. A fair few even advise people to invest in passives that sacrifice reflexes and flexibility for more power. That, and so many suggestions like it that would all just make someone easier for me to counter or otherwise kill without a scratch. Either this is all bullshit, or my own bullshit is entirely meta-breaking. My suddenly warm heart for a change tells me I needed that today.

Which brings the bunny to mind. That was the last time I can remember feeling like this. I never even named it… But no, of course I didn’t. That was the point. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t take the little guy with me. And I refuse to just leave him in isolated System storage forever like some kind of pokemon. I’m confident that where he is right now, at the very least, is better than that hell. Never knowing when you’ll be released… Knowing that at any time, your perpetual stasis will be briefly interrupted by a sudden fight to the death… Okay, I probably wouldn’t do the last part with a bunny. But I refuse to do any of it is the point.

Still… That little guy’s in Outset. I can’t even go back there now, can I? Just like I can’t get that sword from those fucking scammers…

A few minutes of silent brooding later, I see the last thing I ever expected to. A shop. The same shop. Walking through the door in a pissed-off, nonetheless groggy haze, I don’t see another soul in the veritable warehouse of a store. But then I do.

I couldn’t even follow her movements. Teleportation? But then where’s the signature light effect? There should’ve been that shimmery teleporty-energy or whatever around her for a half-second afterward at least.

Before she can say anything, my mouth starts to move on its own. “How did you do that?”

She freezes in place with her own mouth hanging open, before shutting it and cocking her head for a moment. “Ah. As the on-shift manager, I have authority over this facility’s controls. Naturally, that includes instantaneous relocation within this space.”

“Oh. That’s pretty cool.”

“Indeed… So welcome to The Plot Armory… How may I help you?”

Oh fuck, I totally forgot why I came in here. Actually, why did I come in here? Thankfully, I have all the frozen time in the world to get a fucking grip. Which is at least long enough to think of literally anything to say the same instant I’m asked. “Do you have any Mythic Katanas in stock?”

The shopkeeper looks at me doubtfully. “Is this just a curiosity, or-” Then she seems to notice the two already on my waist. “Pardon, but are those both… Equipped?”

Surprising even myself, I puff up a little when I realize that I’m being recognized for an actual accomplishment. “Why, yes. Yes they are.”

“How did you…” She shakes her head. “Never mind, I can see perfectly well that your interest and dedication are genuine. Follow me.” After that, she leads me to a stack of display cases, each with its own ornate katana. The first thing that grabs my eye is the second one from the top.

[ MYTHIC KATANA: DARK BLACK DARKBLADE OF BLACKING DARKNESS ]

The second thing is its price, displayed on an ornate placard just in front of and under the exposed vantablack blade.

[ $910,000 USD ]

Holy fuck. They were really sandbagging on the price in The Town of All Beginnings, huh? Probably to make it seem attainable to a new arrival. Or maybe they’re just price-gouging here? I wouldn’t put anything past these ripoff artists at this point. No wonder this place is empty…

I try to keep a straight face as I turn to the saleswoman. “Is there a way to see the sword’s full details? That pure black one, I mean.”

She beams down at me. “You’ve got quite the eye for quality, I see. Or maybe for spotting hidden gems, considering its rather simplistic silhouette-like appearance. Quite a prized katana, even among Mythics. Not as prized as its opposite twin. But little is, I suppose.”

I chuckle. “But it’s so cool. And strong. I can tell just by looking at it. It’s got this aura about it…” I sigh. “Or maybe I’m being taken in by aesthetics? Hard to tell for sure with just the name to go on. Can I see more of what it can do?”

“I’m afraid not without proof of sufficient funds on hand.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have that much on me.”

“Then I’m afraid I can’t open the case.”

“Well, poo…”

“Although you may be eligible for our Investment Armament program. With a one-time down payment of $10,000, I can-”

I hold up a hand to forestall her taking nearly all the money I have right now just to get the info. “I’m familiar. And I’m interested. But I have a question first. I don’t intend on sticking around in Central all that long. But I know you have other locations. If I pay off this sword here, and go to one of them, could I pick it up there if they had an identical Armament up for Investment?”

The saleswoman shakes her head solemnly. “Unfortunately, due to System restrictions on transport of Equipment and other items, Investment Armaments are only collectible from the store location where said Armament was put under Investment.”

Son of a bitch, I fucking knew it! “K, thanks, bye.” At that, I retrace my steps and bone the fuck out.

The woman’s increasingly shocked head follows me to the front of the store. So does the rest of her. She doesn’t say a word as she cranes her neck around the final corner to watch me leave.

Absolutely fuming by now, I start walking towards The Adventurer’s Guild. But Central, as it turns out, is rather massive. So I don’t even get noticeably closer to my city-assisted waypoint in several hours of walking since I’m apparently not allowed to run. But then I remember. My quest is done. I can use System Transport all I want now.

Another few hours has me getting off at the Central Subway System after only my third transfer. I’m in a chipper mood despite all the waiting because I can see out the window that the trains move quite a bit faster than those triangles stopped me for. More than twice as fast as that guy who got obliterated by the big bronze ring. So I spent the whole time very well aware that there would be absolutely no better travel option.

A hop, a skip, and a jump or two around a handful of turns, and I’m in front of The Adventurer’s Guild Central HQ.

I look down at my Legendary Katana with a knot in my stomach. I know I said we’d have some time to ourselves for a while. But… I really fucking need a pick-me-up right about now. Especially after I confirmed that I did, in fact, get ripped off. Not only of nearly all the cash that I started with, but with over $5,000 in automatic payments since then. Between that and fucking Agent Williams back there, it’s all I can do not to just run off and get an attunement before I even cash in on the only real reason I walked here in the first place.

I mean sure, the Legendary Katana is nice. And I love it. It’s all cool and flowy and throwing magma with every swing gives me some real ranged options I just didn’t have before. But the Mythic is what really sold me on the idea of taking half a year to walk all these thousands of miles. A Legendary, I could’ve gotten by now. If I used System transport to take me to a region with some Level 16 dungeons, I could grind out a drop in a few months at level 10. It’d be hard without a Legendary Skill or Attunement. There’s no doubt in my mind that I could run off and do that right now and have a pile of Legendary Katanas by this time next year.

But a Mythic? Anywhere with even a small chance of dropping those are not only well-known, but nobody enters before Level 20. And I mean nobody. Not only do they all have months-long waitlists to even enter, but they’ll bounce you the fuck out if your level doesn’t start with a ‘2’. At least they don’t let people in above Level 30 either… At that point, you’ve either been grinding levels for literal millennia and don’t need the drops, or should just ascend and grind the planets for way better loot with higher drop rates than we could ever dream of down here in Midgard.

But even well into the 20s, you can only attempt our paltry Mythic loot sources with a full team of eight. All of whom need to be attuned to even stand a ghost of a chance against the strongest pre-ascension monsters Heaven has to offer. Or in other words, if the price of that other one didn’t clue me in, A Mythic Katana is well and truly out of my reach at this stage.

Darreck is the man on duty when I walk into The Adventurer’s Guild HQ at this admittedly weird hour. I don’t even need to target him. He’s got a name tag and everything. Or maybe that’s just what he wants me to think…

[ HERO TARGETED: DARRECK ]

It’s the same as his name tag. Uh… I don’t know what I expected…

Looking up from his desk, he sounds like nothing so much as a master duelist dropping in on a puffed-up amateur with too many swords for their own good. “Hello there.”

I feel like there’s something I’m supposed to do here. But just now, I can’t remember what that might be.

While I stare at him blankly, he hands me a token.

I get flashbacks of another token I still have. And another one that got stolen. And who it got stolen from. I take this new one mutely.

[ MYTHIC GUILD ITEM GIFTED: THE ADVENTURER’S GUILD VAULT TOKEN ]

I have to say that of my two tokens, this one is my favorite.

Apparently knowing what I’m doing way better than me right now, he starts walking and gestures for me to follow. On what had better fucking be the way to get my reward, he projects a whisper out the corner of his mouth. “Hey, so… Want some free XP?”

I gradually narrow my eyes for several extended minutes before replying right away. “I’m listening…”

Smiling more genuinely now, he takes out what looks almost like a gray smoke detector, with a big cylindrical light-bulb-looking bit in the center. After a second to concentrate and probably activate a Skill or something, the middle cylinder goes blue as the rest of the smoke detector turns blue to match. Afterwards, what now looks like nothing so much as a siren in the middle of the thing, fades from blue to red. It continues to glow as Darreck holds it midway between our eye levels.

I just look at it in his outstretched hand as we walk through the ornate hallways full of dubiously historical Adventurer’s Guild memorabilia. Or maybe I’m just projecting… “What is it?”

“It’s quite simple, I assure you. Just press the button and get XP.”

“You first.”

He barks out a laugh. Probably an inside joke or something. Or maybe this isn’t the first time his sudden offer of free stuff to a stranger came off as suspicious. He presses what it turns out is a big button that glows yellow as the rest of the thing goes from blue to gray, at which point the button fades back to gray as well. The guy holds it up, showing me that the button had, indeed, been pressed. After a few seconds of that, he sets his hand over the top. It flashes a gentler blue as the smoke detector itself goes from gray to blue, before the button fills in with red once more.

I think about that for a while, but I don’t get the game. Eventually, I have a question for him and belatedly ask it immediately after his little demonstration. “So you just got XP from that?”

Darreck forlornly shakes his head. “Sadly, no. The way my Skill works, I only get XP when other people press it. Otherwise, I’d just recharge this thing and press the button again and again until I got to max level. And I could do it all without bothering anyone, or making them think I’m some sort of creep pulling a scam. I’m a bit of an introvert, you see. So, if I could work around involving other people, you better believe I would.” He sighs. “But it really is free XP. No matter whether or how it benefits me, that’s all I’m offering.”

More to confront him on whatever this scam is than anything, I do eventually pressit. I watch in astonishment as a transparent golden ‘256’ rises up from the siren as it goes through the otherwise identical color transition from before.

I immediately check my XP totals. “Holy shit…” I really got 256 XP from that. I’m still a long way from level 11. But that much XP would’ve gotten me from Level Two to Three in a single shot. Or Three to Four in just two presses. I killed all those Spiderwolves to get that far. But I apparently could’ve just pressed this button three times… Practically picking my jaw up off the floor, I hold the guy’s smoke-detector thing back out to him. “Recharge please.”

He wipes a bit of red from his lips and reaches out to the proffered Button Box with a knowing expression. After a moment, it re-reddens as well.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

I fixate on the first red though. “Are you okay?”

“Me? Oh yes. It’s a side-effect of a few Skills I’m combining to pull off the Item activation. It doesn’t actually hurt.”

“You aren’t sacrificing your own XP to fuel it or anything, are you?”

He snorts. “What? Absolutely not! I mean could you imagine if that were even a thing? No, no. It’s just a lot of MP and a little SP going into a lot of different Effects to activate the button. Don’t worry about it. If not for the resource cost, I could literally do it all day.”

With a second free hit on offer, I snatch it back and re-press the button before he can change his mind. But the siren doesn’t do anything. And the smoke detector doesn’t go gray again. And I don’t get any XP.

Darreck doesn’t bleed this time either.

I look at him with the same desperate puppy-dog eyes I imagine a new addict might give a drug dealer. “Why isn’t it working?”

He sighs. “Another quirk of the skill, I’m afraid. The pivotal Rare CRAFT Action itself recharges instantly. But it won’t work on the same person again. Not for a whole hour after they got it the last time.”

“Great, then can I keep the button and press it again an hour from now?”

“Wouldn’t do you much good, I’m afraid. You can keep the button. That’s the least of what you deserve from walking all the way here on your own. We were watching you, as you might’ve gathered. I’m sorry for that. Also for knowing who you are well enough to know how much that would bother you.”

He shrugs. “As for the button? Keep it. I have hundreds. They’re cheap as anything to craft. Just a default template shell that works as a conduit for my Skills. But I can’t recharge it from a distance. And unless you’re within a slightly wider distance from me when you press it, it won’t do anything but deactivate. Useful if you want to display the button on your shelf but it’s just too bright for your display. Pointless in every other way I can imagine.”

I think it through. I really do. For several subjective minutes, even. “Yeah, okay. Fair warning, I’m kind of on edge right now.”

Darreck hesitates. “Yyyeah… What’s the warning for?”

“Are we going where you said we’re going?”

“Of course.”

“And no weird creepy bullshit?”

“That’s subjective. To some people, just us having this conversation is salacious.”

“Fuck them.”

He barks out another exuberant laugh. “Then no. Nothing in our files indicates that you, specifically, would call it ‘creepy bullshit’.”

“And what if I disagree?”

“Then I would be surprised.”

I nod seriously. “Alright. I’d say you don’t have to worry about it. But I don’t know if I trust that. I’ve kinda been wrong a lot lately.”

Darreck puts a hand on my shoulder. “Well, I’ve read your file. And I trust it.”

Somehow, he’s right. It doesn’t feel creepy.

Once inside The Vault, I immediately rush to the Mythic katanas. There was never any doubt of what I’d be going for. Almost right away, I spot a familiar one. Calling to me as it always has. I turn back to Darreck. “If I touch one of these things, does that automatically mean I’m choosing it?”

“There is, of course, a multi-layered confirmation system for tokens.”

[ MYTHIC KATANA: DARK BLACK KATANA OF BLACKING DARKNESS - 250 PHY - ??? MAG — WEAPON ART: BASE MAGICAL DAMAGE RANGES FROM 100 TO 500 ON-HIT, INCREASING WITH BRIGHTNESS OF LOCATION STRUCK - STRUCK LOCATION BECOMES BLACK WHEN THIS BONUS IS APPLIED - RESHEATHING REVERTS ALL CHANGED COLORS TO NORMAL, DEALING PROPORTIONAL MAGICAL DAMAGE AGAIN FOR EACH BRIGHTENED COLOR ]

Well goddamn… And The Plot Armory was hiding specs like that? Why? It’s so good. Although, when I started putting money down on that bait-and-switch bullshit they’re pulling, it wouldn’t have even been a particularly good weapon for me. At least not with all the aim and precision my strikes had back then. Aside from the numbers involved, at least. A Mythic katana is still Mythic, Weapon Art or no. But now? In the intervening time since the last one of these I saw, it’s become perfect for me. Not so much so that I just jump on it without looking around. But still…

Watching me gush over the sword, Darreck rubs his chin. “So I’ve been thinking recently… Re-examining my life and such, you know? I’m slowly developing a philosophy.”

Nothing else to do while I look over edged weapons, I shrug in a vaguely non-committal way. Which is about as much encouragement as I can muster given recent events. “Eh?”

But he doesn’t seem to mind. “In a world of Heroes, there are no heroes.”

[ HERO TARGETED: DARRECK ]

I raise an eyebrow. “You sure about that one? Seems a little self-defeating what with System labels and all.”

He chuckles. “Let me rephrase… In a world where death is meaningless, so is heroism. No matter what any of us do, we can never be as heroic as the act that got us invited.” He throws up his arms in frustrated pseudo-surrender. “Save someone from murder? Barely worth mentioning. Save someone from a monster? They’ll just be mad that you stole their kill. Save someone from rape? The Admins have that well in hand. And so on and so forth. To those who acted heroically for the recognition, I suspect that this Heaven is more akin to hell. Even in the most desolate wasteland village on Earth, there’s at least the potential for heroism. Here though? There’s no one to save. And so, in a world deprived of heroes…”

I nod sarcastically. “Why not become the villain?”

“Because you’ll get in trouble with The Admins. Do that too much, and you’ll be banned. Turns out, that’s why.” He shakes his head. “No, what I’m getting at is… Why not settle for a bit? And relax. Take the time to calm down and figure things out.”

I look at more swords. “I need to grow stronger. And quick.”

“Oh? And why is that? Not the strength itself, I mean. That’s understandable enough. But why the rush?”

“I need to bring someone here.”

Darreck stiffens. “To Central?”

“To Heaven.”

“Gotcha. So who was the lucky… Guy?”

“Is.”

“Come again?”

“He’s still alive. At least he’d better be…”

“Ah, my apologies. I didn’t realize. Should’ve guessed…” An extended silence passes, filled with several relatively uninteresting swords. Less than a minute later, he breaks it. “And… Who is ‘he’?”

“My brother.”

Darreck visibly relaxes. “Oh… Well then… So there’s no rush after all?”

I crane my neck over to glare at him. “And why, exactly, wouldn’t I rush?”

He holds his hands out in negation. “NO, no, no. I already understand that you want to have him back ASAP. But… Maybe you don’t know the specifics of that particular endgame reward?”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“You can’t revive someone who’s still alive. It’s even in the official rules.”

“…What ‘official rules’?”

“Oh wow. You haven’t been around very long at all, have you.”

“About half a year.”

Darreck’s eyes widen. “How did I miss that part of the file? And you’re already this strong… Incredible.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, thank you very much. So… What ‘official rules’?”

“I’m not all caught up on them myself, I’m afraid. I’m not so sure The Hero King Tournament is in the cards for me. So I never bothered learning all the specifics. Just the basic stuff. But we have pamphlets out front that detail the whole thing, fine print, implications, and all.”

Oh great, more reading. I don’t know why that's the breaking point for my interest levels, but apparently that’s what’s happening. “So how do I go about-Oooh…” That’s some fucking synergy…

[ MYTHIC KATANA: BRIGHT WHITE BRIGHTBLADE OF WHITING BRIGHTNESS - ??? PHY - 250 MAG — WEAPON ART: BASE PHYSICAL DAMAGE RANGES FROM 100 TO 500 ON-HIT, INCREASING WITH DARKNESS OF LOCATION STRUCK - STRUCK LOCATION BECOMES WHITE WHEN THIS BONUS IS APPLIED - RESHEATHING REVERTS ALL CHANGED COLORS TO NORMAL, DEALING PROPORTIONAL PHYSICAL DAMAGE FOR EACH DARKENED COLOR ]

I guess that’s the ‘opposite twin’ what’s-her-face was talking about. And what was she saying about it being among the most prized Mythic Katanas out there? Getting an idea, I turn to Darreck. “So is there a way to sort by market value?”

He just snorts. “‘Fraid not.”

Yeah, I didn’t think so. “Sorry, I was just curious. But that makes sense, I guess. Can’t have people just taking the highest-price one and trading it for an armory of their own.”

Darreck nods along, but only to a point. “Not necessarily. This is your prize. You can do with it as you will, whether that’s to use it for the rest of eternity, or to sell it as soon as you exit the building. But you’re right that The Adventurer’s Guild goes out of its way not to especially facilitate that behavior. Such a sorting feature would, indeed, be against everyone’s best interest. Otherwise, just think about how scraped-clean this place would be by the time you got here. The program that got you that token isn’t available to those with Mythic market knowledge.”

“Huh… Like I said… That makes sense, I guess.” Not that it matters overly much. This is the one. I know already. Much like with its twin, this is love at first sight. Except ‘love’ feels like such a relatively shallow emotion. It’s not a matter of affinity or preference, or even a third thing. I need it. Like I need air to breathe. But even that comparison falls woefully short. And unlike what normally happens with me, the more I think about it, the more sure I get. Right up until it feels silly to even be standing here anymore.

With a self-satisfied smirk, I hold up my token. The guild one. I even double-check in frozen time to make sure that’s what I was doing.

[ MYTHIC KATANA GAINED: BRIGHT WHITE BRIGHTBLADE OF WHITING BRIGHTNESS - ??? PHY - 250 MAG — WEAPON ART: BASE PHYSICAL DAMAGE RANGES FROM 100 TO 500 ON-HIT, INCREASING WITH DARKNESS OF LOCATION STRUCK - STRUCK LOCATION BECOMES WHITE WHEN THIS BONUS IS APPLIED - RESHEATHING REVERTS ALL CHANGED COLORS TO NORMAL, DEALING PROPORTIONAL PHYSICAL DAMAGE FOR EACH DARKENED COLOR ]

With a sigh, I bid my sweet bracelets and gold belt a fond farewell until I hit Level 12 and get enough EP to equip them again.

[ LEFT GAUNTLET UNEQUIPPED ]

[ RIGHT GAUNTLET UNEQUIPPED ]

[ FAULDS UNEQUIPPED ]

[ MYTHIC WEAPON EQUIPPED: BRIGHT WHITE BRIGHTBLADE OF WHITING BRIGHTNESS - ??? PHY - 250 MAG ]

[ LEGENDARY SECONDARY WEAPON EQUIPPED: MAGATANA - 191 PHY - 149 MAG ]

I leave the guild hall with my new sword in-hand to find that the sun replaced the moon while I was in there. Looking across the street and to the left of the Adventurer’s Guild Hall entrance, I see that I can cut through an alley. Extrapolating from areas filled in on my minimap, it’ll take me almost straight back to the train station. Or I could go around all these buildings in more than twice that time. I think I’ll… Take the main street like a non-idiot.

So I do. I walk down the whole street.

And another. I remember my friends hated me in elementary school. They talked about me in the empty classroom after I went home. Except I didn’t. I was sitting around the corner. Trying not to cry.

And then there was my lunch table in middle school. They talked about me in the empty cafeteria after I went to class. Except I didn’t. I was sitting around the corner. Trying not to cry.

My mom and dad hated me. They talked about me in the empty kitchen after I went to bed. Except I didn’t. I was sitting around the corner. Trying not to cry.

Thomas hated me. He talked about me in his empty house after I went to camp. Except I didn’t. I was sitting around the corner. Trying not to cry.

I looked down on the pathetic child, yelling disdainfully at him from on high. “Prepare for trouble.”

“Make it double!” James suddenly… Appeared from behind me? How did… He was so much bigger than he should’ve been.

“To protect the world from devastation!”

“To unite all peoples within our nation!”

“To denounce the evils of truth and love!”

“To extend our reach to the stars above!”

I made half of an ‘R’ with my body for James to complete. I fumbled a bit, but landed in nearly the right position. “Jessie!”

“Fuck You!” James’ eyes bored into me with even greater scorn, wordlessly baffled by how I could be so inept.

The cat was looking down on me too.

So was the kid.

So was his pet.

So were the two behind them.

So was Arceus.

They kept it up, even after I left. Except I didn’t. I was sitting around the corner. Trying not to cry.

Wait, what the fuck? This is stupid. This-

[ DEBUFF LOST: PESSIMISTIC FLASHBACKS ]

Before I know it, I’m back on the street. But wait… That’s right, I never actually left.

Come to think of it, I’ve just been standing here for… How long? It’s still daytime, so… That tells me nothing. Wait a second, my money used to have more digits.

[ USD: 9,385 — ASD: 0 — BSD: 0 — CSD: 0 — DSD: 0 — ESD: 0 — FSD: 0 — GSD: 0 — HSD: 0 ]

Holy shit, I got pickpocketed! Not by much. But I distinctly remember having over $10,000 last time I checked. And I definitely haven’t bought anything since then. Fuck me…

I mean my red katana is gone from my hip too. But I’m not worried about that. Even if I do wish it was the other one. I could teleport to the thief if it was. But as it is… “Return.”

[ COMMON ACTION: EQUIPMENT RESET ]

Now that I have the freedom to move on my own, I still don’t, even as my prize for walking to Central returns to my side and away from whoever swiped it. Instead, I examine all my surroundings in as excruciating detail as I can manage in the world of frozen time. Scanning for whoever still has my fucking money, I try to spot someone looking at me. Or, actively, not looking at me. But there’s nothing. Except the guy running up behind me looking all worried.

Breathing again, I just wait for him to catch up.

Several subjective minutes of fruitless scanning later, he does. “Are you okay? I was just leaving my shift after we went long on the swords and… Well, I saw you get frozen or paralyzed or… Something. What was that, anyway? Did you see who did it? Or did… Did you do it yourself? Like, on purpose? Stupid question. Probably not, right? I’m just all flustered and…”

I shake my head. “It was something called ‘Pessimistic Flashbacks’.”

His forehead scrunches. “That’s a weird one… And someone cast it on you? Just like that?”

“Yeah, ‘just like that’. So what? I could stab someone ‘just like that’ and they couldn’t do shit about it but die. Or is something about my victimhood especially blameable?”

“It’s just… That’s not exactly a reliable Debuff. It doesn’t tend to affect people for more than a second or two, even if they’re taken by surprise.”

“Well it seemed pretty fucking reliable from where I stood. Is the duration luck-based or something then? Mine is still 16, so I can see that being an exploitable weakness if that’s how it works.”

“There isn’t a time limit on it or anything. You break out of it when you break out of it. The images it shows you slowly get more and more personal and exaggerated until they’re just absurd. Eventually, you realize it isn’t real and then it deactivates. That usually takes most people a few seconds. Less if they see it coming. Unless they’re… Jessie, forgive me for prying. This isn’t in the file or anything, but are you perhaps… Severely depressed?”

“Oh…” I deflate, my will to fight that assertion fading even before I can muster it. “Probably, yeah.”

Nodding to himself, Darreck seems to connect a few dots from our hours of picking out swords. “Would you… Like a place to stay? Forgive me again, but you don’t seem quite so stable on your own just now. I’m not sure what happened, but… I’m guessing you know what I’m talking about? Even if I don’t?”

My face is wet for some reason. I start to nod. Then my head jerks to a stop, only to move perpendicular instead.

Darreck offers a smile like he’s afraid to scare off a stray cat. “Well, it’s up to you, of course. But just answer me this..? Was it better where you’re coming from? Because if so, please don’t hesitate to go back to-”

“NO!!!” I flinch back from my own vehemence. I didn’t know that was bothering me so much.

Darreck’s lips are still puckered in a middle-of-an-’o’-word face that looks a lot goofier than he probably wanted.

As he holds it, I can’t help giggling a little through my attempt to actually be genuine for once. “No, I-” Trying to center myself, I take far longer than the length of a breath to breathe it. “I think I need a break. From everything. But mostly…” I think of the man who killed me what still feels like moments ago. “Everyone I used to know… Thought I knew…” I think of Ross and Rachel for the first time since The Restaurant. Did they know..? And just like that, I’m thinking about Mikey again. Just like I told myself I wouldn’t. And oh, would you look at that? A distraction. “So tell me, Darreck…”

He promptly and hesitantly gulps and nods respectively.

I don’t bother hiding a smirk at my minor victory in this moment of grabbing an escape rope from what was really starting to look like a bottomless pit. “Tell me more about this whole Free-Shitloads-Of-XP thing you have going on.”

Snorting, he tosses me back his Free-Shitloads-Of-XP Button.

As soon as I press the button again, I see the golden ‘256’ rise up from my own fingertip. And the wave of dopamine that comes from that is… Magical. In that moment, it all becomes clear. I wasn’t sure what path to take. But this one..? It’s just so comfy. And after what I’ve been through… Confident for the first time since the last time my world exploded, I nod my head sharply. “Well alright, roomie. Show me to the free ride.”