JESSIE : LEVEL 11

DAY 148 : D-DAY, THIRDWEEK, EOS, YEAR 1

CENTRAL 12 : VILLA 2 : MEAN GIRLS

We’re all hanging out at home trying to grift each other out of trivial sums of money at a time. Or playing, as it’s more colloquially known, poker. It’s going better than I ever expected.

All I need to do is remember the rules and make the best hand I can.

Green is apparently an expert at reading faces or some shit. But my ability to stop time and think about anything I want, as long as I want, any time at all, seems to get in the way of whatever training she says she has.

I have a good hand.

Green blinks what she seems to think is covertly at Yellow.

And Yellow calls.

I have a bad hand.

Green adjusts her sitting position.

Yellow folds.

I don’t win every time. But it happens enough to where my heart lifts as Yellow gets more and more frustrated.

Unable to admit her loss while getting help that she clearly knows I know about, Piss just seems totally unable to do anything but demand a rematch every single time her victory isn’t overwhelming.

Which it never is.

And the puke-hued grifters can’t take Blue’s cash either since whenever she plays, left to her own devices, she folds immediately. We gave up on even dealing to her hours ago. So she’s curled up next to me, nestled into the corner of the couch while multitasking to make herself look as small as possible.

Apparently fed up for some strange reason and looking to deflect on an innocent bystander, Waffle leans forward in her seat to look even further down on Blue. “Like, for real though? YOU'RE a Hero?”

And I’ve already had enough. “Leave her alone, Regina.”

Yellow just snorts. “What, you think you’re Cady now?”

“What?”

Yellow blinks. “What?”

“The fuck is a ‘cady’?”

She doesn’t seem to believe I don’t get her dumb reference or whatever. “You really don’t know?”

Green scoffs. “It was before her time.”

The primary-blonde bitch looks truly crestfallen at that. “Wow… So I really do just give off that vibe, then?” She nods to herself. Then to me. “Congratulations. I think that’s the closest thing to damage you’ve dealt to my psyche in the two-and-a-half weeks I’ve been unfortunate enough to know you.”

I really wish I was in on the joke I made…

But Yellow picks herself back up. “So that’s it? You’ve given up on getting Blue to defend herself and you’re just gonna be her big sister from now on?”

I think about that for a second. Not the worst thought, honestly. She’s just so innocent and precious and adorable. She needs to be protected. So why the fuck shouldn’t I do it? “I’ll protect her from you, yeah. You’re picking on literally the nicest person I’ve ever met.”

Darreck clicks his tongue from the other room.

I smirk. “Yes, including you! And I know you agree, so don’t give me that!”

A slightly more muted tongue click is my only answer.

Corn just folds her arms. “Dumb rabid bitch like you? Of course you got here by jumping in front of something for no reason.” She jerks her head at the innocent. “But her though? I don’t buy it. She’s too pathetic to save anyone from anything.”

I fold my arms right back, even as Blue sinks further into herself next to me. “So? Same goes for The Librarian over here.”

Stolen novel; please report.

Lime looks genuinely surprised I threw an insult her way.

Lemon snaps her finger at me. “HEY. You can’t do that anymore. That was the deal. Remember, dropout?”

“I didn’t drop out, you cunt. I died while I was still in school.”

“So why don’t you finish? There are dozens of schools in this neighborhood alone, and they’re all practically free.”

“Because I’m in fucking Heaven. What, am I gonna get a job as an accountant? Now? I was a sophomore in high school, and that’s good enough for someone who despises school and was always smarter than every teacher I’ve ever had. Besides, our ‘deal’ isn’t settled.”

“You had two weeks to get Blue up to scratch. But look at her.”

We all do.

Even Blue herself, eyes locked on her own knees while buried further into the pillows than ever.

I’ve painted myself into a corner with this one. I know it, she knows it… We all know it. Even Blue. The only one who didn’t know was me when I agreed to try to teach her to be mean. But… It’s just impossible. Literally nothing worked. I’ve always been good at riling people up. Usually to my detriment.

Like when someone in my class got on my nerves so bad that I turned the whole class against me with my backlash. I didn’t just do that in fifth grade either. Eighth too. That’s even why I had to switch middle schools and take the rest of that year online. Although, admittedly, I was bottling up a lot of bullshit and Regina Callaway just happened to pop the top.

But circumstances aside, I’ve always been able to inspire the worst in people without the slightest bit of effort if I’m not careful. And I thought I could use that here. I thought I could bring out Blue’s aggression and magnify it to release the beast within. But there’s nothing. Not a single shred of aggression in that girl’s whole body.

They’d have to literally tear her limb from limb for her to do anything that even resembles fighting back. And even then, I’d be surprised if she did more than weakly whimper ‘don’t’ at an attacker. If that. I’m half-convinced she just as literally couldn’t issue anything that close to an order to save her own life. Even back when she only had the one.

Green rolls her eyes. “Alright, I’ll go first, I guess. Hey Blue?” She seems to gain confidence at Blue just gripping her own legs tighter. “You’re gross.”

My heart races to life and I grasp Blues stiff hands like the miraculous threads of hope that they are. My eyes bore into hers, fatalistically willing any semblance of my own defiance into the girl. “This is it. Scenario Six. Remember what we practiced.”

Eyes darting away from mine and slowly towards Green, Blue immediately looks down again as she stutters the technically correct words. They’re even in the technically correct order. But in a truly inspired display of subtle, yet unmistakable submission, she somehow manages to get the tone completely backwards. “Yeah? Well, your face is gross.”

And there it is. Theoretically, it’s the perfect comeback. In a world where the average is idealized beauty, Green is even homelier than me before I fixed all my little imperfections in that character creator. A real, demonstrable, true weakness that can’t be dismissed as untrue, but only talked around. And best of all, Blue seems completely unaware of the distinction. So to her, this is just about the least harmful insult she could give. But to Green..? Finally remembering my whole deal, I start breathing again.

Surpassing my expectations for the first time ever and the worst time possible, Green just shakes her head. “Yeah, my face is gross. I left it that way on purpose. To deny my flaws would be to dishonor my strengths. I want people to like me for me. Not for some ideal that they wish I met. Not like some others I could mention.”

Tears streaming down her face, Yellow hugs her sycophant. “I hope you don’t judge me for not doing likewise.”

“Of course not, sweetie. Everyone here knows exactly who I was talking about.”

I nod. “Darreck?”

Green immediately gets just as flustered as I knew she would. Fluke of fucking flukes, that was…

Yellow glares at me. “Going back on your word already? Or do you want to keep this charade going? In that case, Blue-”

The girl in question interrupts her own name by crying softly to herself. “I’m so sorry I said your face was gross… I didn’t mean it.”

“And she can’t even do that right…”

Finally done with combing his pubes or whatever the fuck, Darreck walks in, shooting everyone but Blue an accusing glance. But especially me. “How about we all just agree that none of us are inherently without value and move on?”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “But Piss and her parasitic mold are being absolute dipshits for no reason and someone needs to put them in their place because God knows Blue isn’t gonna do it-”

“Please be quiet now, Red. You made your bed, and now it’s time to lie in it.”

Remembering Ross, I wonder for a moment if I should kill Darreck. Not like he’s an NPC or anything… Instead, I defiantly take the button out and spend a subjective minute roundhouse-kicking it across the room. It crashes straight into the TV. But it’s neither an environmental object, nor one with damage values, so it just bounces off and skitters across the floor. It does activate on the kick though, looking for all the world like I got 256 points in some weird game for nailing the screen.

Darreck’s nose starts bleeding.

Yellow looks shocked and appalled.

I smile at all three of those things.

Even now, it’s weird how little I want to leave. Sure, this situation isn’t perfect. And we don’t even like each other. Well, some of us do. Just not enough to where we don’t fight constantly. But… It’s just so cozy. I know it’s not ‘optimal’. I could get more XP, faster if I tried. But I’m gaining XP pretty fucking fast for doing nothing.

And the difference? A price I’m willing to pay. After the year I’ve had, I could use some ‘cozy’ right about now. But more importantly, I want it. And it’s about fucking time I just did whatever I wanted for once.

So I’ll stay for now. Or at least so long as the convenience of it all feels worth dealing with Piss’s shit.