JESSIE : LEVEL 4
DAY 16 : H-DAY, SECONDWEEK, AGNI, YEAR 1
OUTSET 4 : CANYON DUNGEON 1 : LEVEL DESIGN
Plunging through the purple bubble thing separating dungeon from not, I can’t help but gape in surprise at what I see. Or don’t. Instead of another wave-based courtyard-type-thing like I’d expected, I find the literal opposite. Namely, a barren, gaping, particularly bottomless-looking pit. Taking that in, I hesitantly call over my shoulder to Mich. “Do… Do we jump down?”
Mich enters the mist right behind me and seems to consider the pit for a moment. “That depends. How immune to fall damage are you?”
“I dunno… I’ve never exactly fallen that far.”
Mich runs in front of me, only to immediately step aside with a flourish, ushering me into the hole like a stage for my coronation. “Well, here’s your chance.”
I give him a flat look. “Yeah, no. I was being sarcastic. It just took me like half a week to get rid of the XP debt I already had. Not about to literally jump into more.”
He annoyingly folds his arms. “Very wise. So how do you propose we proceed?”
“What? Oh, um… I guess… Wait, why is it on me? How do you think we should get down? You must have an idea to go with that shit-eating grin of yours.”
Mich cracks the faintest shadow of an adoring smile that I just barely manage to catch. We share a moment that I’m not quite sure what to make of. But then it’s over. And he starts taking out rope. A lot of rope.
Immediately understanding my expected role, I watch him do that while providing color commentary. “So do you just carry all that around or what?”
Unbothered by his striking resemblance to a clown, Mich keeps unfurling the thick rope from what looks like a pocket, and coiling it into a large pile on the ground. “Don’t see why not… Wasn’t expensive. Doesn’t weigh much, either. And would you look at that, the entryway of the first dungeon since I bought it, and it already came in handy.”
“That’s just sheer luck. I’ve been in more dungeons than you and none of the others had any verticality at all.”
Mich gives me the stink-eye. “You’ve been in one more dungeon than me. Yesterday. And even if you count that, and the first one with the spiders, 33% is still a great average. At least as far as opportunities to use a metric shit-ton of rope.”
I stink my own eye right back at him. “I feel like your logic is flawed, but I can’t quite put my finger on how.”
“As you grow older, you’ll learn more about that feeling. It’s called ‘being wrong’.”
“Unless a third of all dungeons are bottomless pits, I’m thinking my point just needs a larger sample size.”
“And that, little lady, is called being ‘stubborn’.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Then don’t be so stubborn.”
“I mean the ‘little lady’ bit.”
Mich finally reaches the end of his rope. “Sorry. To be honest, I knew that was over the line as soon as I said it. It just came out. But I’ll try to keep a lid on that going forward. Anyway, you see these little rock outcroppings all around the pit’s edge?”
Still surprised from the unexpectedly complete apology, my hesitance returns with a vengeance when I notice what he’s pointing at. “Is that what you’re gonna tie the rope around?”
Mich looks at me like I’m crazy. “What? God no. Those things wouldn’t even hold you. Let alone me. Let alone the both of us…” He starts to kick them apart, making sure to sweep all the little shards down into the abyss. “These are just potential hazards we have to break so they don’t cut the rope.” He points to a massive outcropping a good way back from the pit, easily twice the size of us both combined. “That’ll be what we brace the rope around.”
“I guess that makes sense… So what kinda knot are you gonna tie?”
“Knot? In what, the rope?”
“Yeah, aren’t there a bunch of different types of knots you’re supposed to use for things like this?”
Mich chuckles as he lines the rope up with itself to measure it out for something. “Maybe. But if there’s a knot that’d work for this, I don’t know how to tie it.”
“You don’t? Then what are we even doing?”
“Not tying knots is what we’re doing.” Reaching the rope’s middle from either side, Mich tosses it over the outcropping, and kicks both ends off the cliff’s edge. “And now we just climb down with that.”
I watch entranced as the huge pile of rope steadily and symmetrically unfurls as it gradually disappears over the chasm’s lip. “Okay… So now what?”
“Now, if I was alone, I’d use both sides together, to balance and rappel down. But since there’s two of us, we can each pull it in the opposite direction and maintain an equilibrium the whole way. Not quite as well as if we were the same size and weight. But it’s still safer than doing it alone. Slower too. But not much to be done about that.”
“What happens if we get to the bottom of the rope, but it’s still a sheer cliff?”
“I don’t see how. That was a lot of rope I dumped down there. And unless I somehow balanced the weight perfectly, the fact that the heavier side hasn’t pulled the other down yet, tells me that they’re both already grounded. But come on, we’re burning daylight. And when it comes to big holes in the ground, that’s a valuable commodity.” From the same pocket as before, he tosses me a series of clamps.
I catch one. Having not expected to be shotgunned with clamps just now, the rest clatter behind me. I look at the one I’m holding. “And what am I supposed to do with these?”
But Mich already has a set of identical clamps attached to both ropes in a convoluted pattern that somehow equates to a pulley centered on himself.
I stare at him. And the rope. And all his little fasteners. Back to the rope. And all the clamps scattered behind me on the ground.
Mich looks over at me, seemingly surprised I’m not already done. “Need any help?”
I nod slowly, and then faster. “Yes please. Actually, could you do it for me? And hook me up? And walk me through the process? In fact, do you mind just micromanaging this whole thing?”
Mich is apparently disappointed that a teenage girl who’s never held a rope, isn’t an established expert at canyoneering. Coming to terms with reality, he sighs. “Fine…”
It takes over an hour to vertically sidle all the way down to the bottom. As we go, I grow only more impressed at the sheer length involved. And not only of the pit. Did anyone on Earth even make a rope this long?
Once we’re finally upright and unfastened at the chasm’s surprisingly flat and level base, Mich yanks one side of the rope, letting it slide a little past his hands. Then he does it again. And again. Each time, it slides even more, over and over, until the opposite grounded coil is lifted entirely upwards. Jumping away from the now-falling rope, Mich gestures for me to do the same. A few minutes after the start of the rope’s climb, it slams back down into a nearly identical pile to how it looked when he first took it out.
Once the dust clears, I blow out an impressed whistle into the ensuing silence. “So… How’re we getting back up?”
“You’re the one who told me that dungeons teleport you out after you beat them.”
The edge of my mouth twitches. “They do.”
“Then that’s our way out.”
“Win or die? Really?”
“Jessie, I honestly thought you wouldn’t have a problem with that. I’ve only died twice. How many is it for you now?”
Of all the dumb fucking… “Mich, just because death isn’t a permanent setback, doesn’t mean I’m willing to make accruing XP Debt part of the plan. Besides, what if I die to the boss but you get away? Then what? You’d scramble up this sheer cliff face? And how long would that even take without the rope?”
Mich blinks at that. “Look. I’m sorry. I wanted my rope back. And I assumed you’d prefer to just die and respawn with no effort, rather than spend almost definitely more than those eight hours climbing back up. Apparently, I was wrong.”
With effort, I scrape the palm from off my face. “Alright, fine. I forgive you. Whatever. Let’s just go beat this thing.” Very much wanting to get on with it, I turn in place and start making my way down the only path available. I relax into a relieved grin as I hear Mich follow along.
The chasm floor transitions into a cave that quickly thins before once more opening into an altogether different sort of hurdle. Or the opposite of one.
What looks like an old-fashioned minecart is parked precipitously at the peak of a long, winding track. The only thing keeping me from jumping in immediately is that the floor stops almost as soon as the track starts. The ensuing hole seems to stretch just as impossibly far down as that last one, only now into yet another, deeper darkness.
But with nowhere else to go and nothing else to do besides maybe brace that rope around the minecart track, my idea is inevitably dismissed and we just as inevitably get in. Not like anyone’s going to specifically design a cart to kill its passengers or anything… That much is clear from the safety messages printed on its side. But, as said messages would’ve apparently told me if I could be bothered to actually read them, it isn’t designed for people to stick their arms out while it’s running and pretend to be a plane. You see, that would entirely fuck up such a cart’s already precipitous balance.
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Mich, who did read the side of the cart, hurries to pass on its teachings. “JESSIE, DROP YOUR HANDS-”
But it’s already too late. This whole setup is entirely momentum-powered, the rails only providing direction. So once my outstretched arms add just enough wind resistance for the cart to jump off said rails, it does. But in doing so, it neglects to turn at the next sloping curve.
Mich’s warning turns to prophecy even as he makes it, transitioning smoothly into a scream as the cart retains its horizontal momentum.
It keeps moving vertically too. In fact, it accelerates in that vector. And keeps on doing so right up until it stops.
Way sooner than I thought it would, the minecart practically shatters on the base of this new, longer, thinner chasm, taking a third of my health with it.
[ HP: 256/384 ]
I’m alive? And above half health? That worked out better than it probably deserved to…
Groaning to his feet, Mich dusts himself off. “Do I need to tell you how stupid you are?”
Otherwise getting up as well, my eyes stay on the ground. “No…”
“‘No’ what?”
“No… You don’t?”
“I was kind of going for a ‘No, Sir’ there.”
“Not on your life.”
He sighs. “Noted.”
Some time passes as we run along the ever-thinning cave that wends and winds in a way that makes it seem to have been carved to fit the path of the minecart. Or probably vice-versa. But regardless of what chicken laid what egg, the path only narrows further as we go.
Mich seems to say literally anything in order to fill the awkward silence. “How long do you think this dungeon is, anyway?”
Nothing else to do, I think it through. “Aren’t we getting close to the edge of the map?”
“Whaddaya mean? The minecart is still way above ground level. Relative to us, anyway. We’re definitely on an upwards slope, but we must have close to a mile before it evens out with the cart’s downwards one.”
I nod knowingly. “Games do this sometimes. They hide half the map from you with a big wall. Then they have you travel along that wall, essentially doubling the maximum distance they have to work with by railroading you into some sort of path along its other side in the opposite direction.”
“Really? I never noticed that. But wouldn’t it mean the goal is basically right next to where we started?”
“There’s probably a ladder or elevator or something to get back to the top of that pit. Or maybe just a hidden doorway. I’d bet you money the entrance is also the exit in this place.” I shrug. “Or maybe you just have to teleport out and you can’t loop back around without beating the boss. Really, that seems more and more likely with how far down we’ve gone.”
After that, I mostly revert to autopilot before becoming very smug at the sight of an opening in the underground canyon. I snort as I put together that it immediately leads to a gradually widening path on the side of a different canyon stretching in the opposite direction.
Mich frowns. “I don’t like my odds… But yeah, why not? $10 says it doesn’t loop back around?”
I shrug, feeling kind of bad for the steep odds. “How about just a health potion?”
Mich chuckles. “How about nothing and we just see if you’re right?”
“Sounds non-confrontational…” Why have I never thought of that as an option? “Speaking of which… Sorry I blew up at you earlier about the rope. Assuming I’m right, and it looks like I am, that really was uncalled for.”
“It’s okay.”
“Say… My health just recovered.”
“So?”
“So, wanna race?”
“What? Why would-”
“GO!!!”
[ MOVEMENT BLESSING: VAULT ]
[ POWER BLESSING: DASH ]
Sprinting forward, I leave an entirely non-competitive Mich in the dust as the path widens more and more until finally ending in our first group of monsters. Looks like a couple of some kind of bipedal jackals with athletic builds and frosted tips guarding an ornate door.
[ MONSTER TARGETED: ANUBRO ]
Mich smiles when he sees I waited before aggroing them. Which I appreciate because I really wanted to. But Mich takes that particular honor as he puffs himself up, steps towards the jackal things, and addresses them even as they surround him in turn. “We’re here to kick bubblegum and chew ass.” He pauses for some kind of effect. “And we’re all out of ass.”
Ignoring Mich, sheathed sword gripped in my left hand, I grab its hilt with my right and get the skills ready in my head for how to optimize DPS.
But as it turns out, these things are harder than the spiders. By a lot.
I spend most of the next minute barely dodging lunges that are faster than theirs, more frequent, and far from all the jackals can do.
And then one hits me. The thing buries its foot into my throat as I lose nearly all the health I passively recovered after the minecart crash.
[ HP: 270/384 ]
But my throat isn’t torn away. It isn’t even painful. Oh yeah… Nothing is anymore, huh? All hesitance dashed with the impossibility of this next part hurting, I line up the shot.
[ COMMON ACTION: IAI QUICKDRAW ]
[ UNCOMMON ACTION: COUNTER SHEATHE ]
The moment I entirely whiff my swing, the thing runs around and bites my arm.
[ HP: 206/384 ]
[ COUNTER SHEATHE: CANCELED ]
[ SP: 369/552 ]
[ IAI QUICKDRAW: CANCELED ]
Fuck.
[ COMMON ACTION: IAI QUICKDRAW ]
[ UNCOMMON ACTION: COUNTER SHEATHE ]
Another miss. But at least I dodge the jackal this time and the Skill just deactivates automatically when I fully unsheathe before encountering anything.
[ COUNTER SHEATHE: CANCELED ]
[ POWER BLESSING: DASH ]
Speed boosted from the dash, I try to use that momentum to smack it with my sword.
But instead, it digs its claw into my shoulder.
[ HP: 170/384 ]
[ IAI QUICKDRAW: CANCELED ]
Fuck!
[ COMMON ACTION: IAI QUICKDRAW ]
[ UNCOMMON ACTION: COUNTER SHEATHE ]
Finally hitting its incoming claw with my unsheathing sword, I teleport behind the third one, sword already half-sheathed. Finally! With no small amount of catharsis, I slam the blade fully home.
[ COUNTER SHEATHE REFLECTED DAMAGE: 64 ]
[ IAI QUICKDRAW BONUS DAMAGE: 128 ]
[ SP: 552/552 ]
Back to full. “Oh, now we’re talkin’…” I turn around to see a jackal-mouth-sized hole gouged out of said jackal’s shoulder, and another on its flank, twice as large and looking more like a shark bite than anything. But I don't have time to celebrate how fatal that looks because here it comes again anyway!
[ COMMON ACTION: IAI QUICKDRAW ]
[ UNCOMMON ACTION: COUNTER SHEATHE ]
Thank god I’m finally getting used to this… At that thought, I miss.
The jackal immediately clamps down on my neck.
[ HP: 106/384 ]
[ COUNTER SHEATHE: CANCELED ]
[ SP: 414/552 ]
[ IAI QUICKDRAW: CANCELED ]
FUCK!!!
[ COMMON ACTION: IAI QUICKDRAW ]
[ UNCOMMON ACTION: COUNTER SHEATHE ]
Suddenly, it just falls over. A red ‘31’ rises from where I belatedly realize Mich’s arrow hit. The next moment, a golden ‘32’ rises from the same spot.
And there it is. The reason we tracked this dungeon down. Each of those things is worth the XP of 32 Spiderwolves. All in all, even if not for the unreasonable travel time without a single enemy, I still prefer the spiders.
Mich having killed his own before helping with mine, the central door opens.
[ MONSTER TARGETED: ANUBRUV ]
A bigger bipedal jackal with even longer hair walks out, eyeing us both disdainfully before letting out an echoing howl that seems to be both high and low pitched at the same time.
That’s how long it takes me to vault all the way over there and smash it in the face with my katana in a home-run swing. Then, transferring all my momentum to the stunned super-jackal, I twist midair in the opposite direction like I practiced all this week, slamming my sword once more into the back of its head.
Holy fuck… That was awesome! Still impressed with my own moves, I stumble to a landing before belatedly fumbling to get my sword resheathed.
[ IAI QUICKDRAW BONUS DAMAGE: 150 ]
Footing just barely recovered, I hear the boss shriek as it runs straight for me. So it’s with a smirk that I whirl around and reposition my sword into another draw.
[ COMMON ACTION: IAI QUICKDRAW ]
[ UNCOMMON ACTION: COUNTER SHEATHE ]
Hurrying not to miss my shot, I do so anyway, ripping the katana out long before I’m in range.
[ COUNTER SHEATHE: CANCELED ]
[ SP: 238/552 ]
Wide open and recovering from the motion of a purposeful unsheathe, the JackAss kicks my center mass like it has a point to prove about Sparta.
[ HP: 8/384 ]
[ IAI QUICKDRAW: CANCELED ]
Half an instant later, my back slams into the cavern wall, burying me in the custom Jessie-shaped hole made by my impact. I don’t have time to move from there. I don’t have time to think either. I don’t have time to do anything but panic about my sword having clattered across the floor, all the way over-
Meanwhile, as soon as it lands the kick, the jackal’s back curls into something like a runner’s stance, only much, much lower. A few arrows fly in from the left and sink into its arm and hip. Red numbers float out of each arrow wound, but the JackAss doesn’t pay it any mind. With an over-energized roar, it launches itself at me, arms and legs windmilling, propelling itself in a line at least as straight as the arrows. But that’s where the comparison ends. Even as the arrows harmlessly thunk into its tree-trunk-like muscles, it buries its entire massive jaw into both of my flanks.
[ HP: 0/384 ]
[ YOU DIED — XP DEBT: 15+256=271 — RESPAWN DELAY: 8 HOURS ]
FUCK…