PLEASE ENTER NAME : LEVEL 7
DAY 77 : E-DAY, SECONDWEEK, CALYPSO, YEAR 1
EXTERIOR 2 : ANIME RAID 2 : LFG
[ NEW S.T.A.T.S — STRENGTH: MAGICAL=26 - PHYSICAL=16 — TENACITY: DEFENSE=26 - SPEED=16 — APTITUDE: MANA=26 - STAMINA=16 — TILT: CONTROL=26 - LUCK=16 ]
[ NEW COMMON C.L.A.S.S. PASSIVE: DULLAHAN / DISPLACE ARMOR — EFFECT 1: DISCONNECT AND LEAVE BEHIND A PIECE OF ARMOR FROM A SUMMONED SET — EFFECT 2: STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY OF THAT ARMOR SET REMAINS AS THOUGH DISPLACED PIECE IS STILL ATTACHED TO THE WHOLE — EFFECT 3: YOU MAY FREELY TELEPORT THE REST OF THE ARMOR SET TO THE DISPLACED PIECE, OR THE DISPLACED PIECE TO THE SET — RESTRICTION: DISPLACED ARMOR PIECE MAY NOT BE ACTIVELY MANIPULATED OUTSIDE OF TELEPORTATION FUNCTIONALITY — WARNING: CURRENTLY DISPLACED ARMOR EFFECTS DO NOT APPLY TO THE SET ]
[ NEW UNCOMMON C.R.A.F.T. AUGMENT: SMITH / MAGNETIZE — EFFECT 1: ENABLE, SWITCH, OR DISABLE MAGNETIC POLARITY — RESTRICTION: ONLY AVAILABLE ON METAL PORTION OF ANY ARMOR PIECE APPLIED ]
Ever since Oneshot teleported me to Central Station, I’ve kept a Body standing outside the Raid entrance. At first, it was just meant to serve as a checkpoint. But then, I kept going. And I kept leveling. And I kept not dying. I could’ve always dismissed it and added one more to my ever-growing personal retinue. But I never forgot what Oneshot told me about not being able to complete this raid with the same party twice. And there’s just something about it that I feel drawn to.
I originally thought it was because I got carried through and subconsciously wished to defeat the Raid on my own merit. People on the cruise liner always talked about someone getting ‘carried’ somewhere as a bad thing. When I realized they weren’t talking about the boat itself, I also realized that was exactly what Oneshot did for me. But I didn’t feel bad about it. Which led me to ask them what ‘subconscious’ meant. They were confused. But I, increasingly, wasn’t.
I can start singing whenever I want with the Respec I still haven’t used. That definitely wasn’t a freedom I had before. Oddly, I don’t feel the need to go back and complete every dungeon and encounter he carried me through up to that point. Just the Raid. But why? That question is what got me to keep a Body here long after it stopped being a tactically viable checkpoint or escape location. Instead, I left it here to hold a sign. And wait.
A few groups have passed by since then. But they didn’t read the sign. Despite my lack of sight or head on this particular Body, I had no trouble spotting the issue. None of them had even turned their own non-detachable heads in my direction. And after I tried so hard to post up in a highly visible spot… Admittedly, I’m not much of an expert in ‘visible’ anything. But after the first time, I switched locations. And then again. And again. After the fourth group neglected to observe my sign, I realized the truth.
They’d been doing a thing I only learned about on my journey to The Gale Kingdom. That’s right. They were ignoring me. It’s an obscure human custom to be sure. But I felt better once I realized they were purposefully avoiding me rather than it being due to my own incompetence in grabbing their attention. I want to do the raid again, sure. But I don’t want to impose. I can’t complete it on my own yet. I know that. But I don’t wish to be carried again. Not to be helped, but to be of help. And I’m in no hurry. So I wait. Or at least one of my 112 bodies does. The rest of me is off making actual progress in various ventures, most of which accompanies my head.
But those ventures aside, a thrill of excitement runs through my lack of an organic body as soon as today’s visitors enter my raid Armor’s Sonar range.
A man with a bo staff is talking to a man with a sword about having just graduated from a school. “Couldn’t you have skipped all that with a Sword Mastery skill?”
The swordsman looks disdainfully back at his companion. “Mastery… Of swords… In a Skill…” He sighs. “Why do people always assume that’s a thing?”
“So your CLASS doesn’t have one then?”
“Nobody’s CLASS has one. That’s why it’s so frustrating that everyone thinks mine does.” The swordsman groans in clear resignation of having to explain this again for the umpteenth time. “Martial arts, and I naturally include weapon-based ones under that umbrella, aren’t tangible. It’s not a thing you can just suddenly get good at, even if the knowledge of how to do all the moves in all the styles in all the worlds were all implanted into your head at the same time. You’d still need the muscle memory to use them effectively, of course. But if it were just that, such things would be easy enough to make into a Skill.”
He shakes his head. “But no. It’s so much more than all that. Rather, any martial art, as performed by anyone, is a combination of all their experiences, fears, preferences, losses, gains, and everything else in their lives up to that point. Every bit of it is inextricably interlinked to them and them alone. If two people’s martial arts look alike, it’s because they chose to study similar practices. Even then, when fighting each other, their own versions will be unmistakable from that of their opponents. If for no other reason than that they are, at the end of the day, different people. That’s why masters can learn everything about each other through a single fight. And without a single word.”
He counts off on his fingers. “What stance do they take? How do they react to an attack? Do they dodge? Do they go for the counter? Do they simply accept the blow and power through? What about the lack of an attack? Do they wait for an opening? Do they present one? When, why, where, and how do they take initiative? What about all those same things, and more, again, after the first exchange?”
He holds up both hands, now with every finger raised. “All those answers are unique to each person. And together, they tell a story. The story of a life. An entire life. Even if I could get that all from a single Skill Point…” He seems to think it through for a moment. “Hm… No, not even then. I don’t think I would. It’d be like putting on floaties you can’t take off. At first, you’d have an easier time swimming than other beginners. But pretty soon, all those other swimmers would start to pass you by. And the floaties would become more akin to anchors. While different from standard anchors in that they’d keep you from drowning, you’d still never catch up. No matter how proficient with the floaties you become.”
He shakes his head clear of something. “Sorry, I got off on a bit of a tangent there. Point is… The form a martial art takes is deeply personal, and different for each individual practitioner. They are not, and could never be, a disconnected box that you can install into yourself like so much DLC.”
The man with the bo staff gives the swordsman a blank look. “Sooo… Weapon Mastery Skills… Not a thing, then?”
“…No.”
The staffman smiles at the swordsman. “See that, Alex? That word? That’s all you had to say.”
Alex kicks his shin. “Well, let that be a lesson to you, Zack. Don’t press my ‘rant’ button if you don’t want a rant.”
Zack rolls his eyes. “Aaalright, then what constitutes a button? You know… So I can avoid pressing it at all costs?”
Alex seems to actually think that one through. “Hm… I guess if you want to be totally safe, just avoid the subject of swords. Or people who use swords. Or Skills and blessings that use swords. Or equipment that enhances swords. You know what? Just don’t say the word ‘sword’, and you should be good.”
Zack sighs. “Great. Yeah, thanks for the heads-up. That’ll be easy. Just never mention swords… In the goddamned Anime Club!”
Alex shrugs. “That’s just how to do it. I never said that it’d be easy.” At that, Alex turns to the largest member of their party. “What about you, Tyrone?”
The large man’s eyes go wide as he’s jolted from his own little world to look down at Alex. “Sorry… What now?”
Alex eyes him suspiciously. “How long have we known each other? You’ve got a stick up your ass about something. What’s up.”
After an extended silence in which he clearly tries to think up a believable cover, Tyrone finally says what’s on his mind. “I shouldn’t be here right now.”
Zack smirks up at him. “Got something better to do than babysit the newbies? Can’t say I blame you…”
The final, smallest member of their group chuckles nervously. “Hehe… Yeah, that’s… Yeah…”
Tyrone seems more alarmed at that than anything. “What? No, it’s just… For the best rewards, you should do this raid with the maximum of four people.” He sighs. “And so here I am. But other than a fourth body to round things out, I’m doing you all a huge disservice just by being here.”
Zack practically cackles. “Disservice?” He looks at the other two in scandalized shock. “‘Disservice’, he says… Like getting carried through this thing by anyone but our guild leader would serve us better?”
Tyrone lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “It really would. Raid difficulty increases per person. But the challenge level is otherwise static. The fact of the matter is… I’m too strong for y’all. Me being here is gonna make this a walk in the park for the rest of you.”
The smallest, unarmed party member speaks up through the sustained nervous laugh he still has going. “I’m not really seeing any downsides, either.”
“Alright, I’ll explain.”
Alex groans.
Tyrone pointedly ignores that and addresses the fourth guy directly. “Joe… Do you know how Raid rewards are allocated?”
Not just Joe, but Zack shakes his head as well.
Tyrone’s smile widens as he talks over Alex now repeatedly bashing his head into a nearby stone pillar. “Well, Zack and also Joe, at the end of a run, two rewards are made available per person. Each are selected by The System, for that person’s performance throughout the Raid. Each of those people can then choose one from the lot, in order of contribution to the Raid team.” He holds up two fingers, one after the other. “That means everyone can always choose their Respec from at least one CRAFT and at least one CLASS.”
He lets out a chuckle as Alex’s head-banging gets louder. “You won’t be told which is yours, and you get to pick precisely one of the eight, or seven, or six, or five depending on your performance. Now, I’m not gonna take your reward. And I doubt any of you would want each other’s. All our builds and fighting styles are vastly different, after all. It’s why I came out here myself instead of making any of the others join in. That would just be an open invitation to needless conflict right out the gate for all of you. Which I like to avoid.” He looks around at the suddenly worried faces of all three of his charges.
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
After a few seconds to reconsider, Tyrone just sighs. “That lie certainly backfired… I meant to make you feel better, not worse. At that point, the truth is always preferable. Aaand the truth is, I asked everyone. And everyone said ‘no’.”
Alex seems shocked. “Even Yuki? Granted, I’m not the most familiar with everyone since I’ve been off at Swchool and all. But have things truly changed so much? The Yuki I know would never say ‘no’ to something like this. Or anything, for that matter.”
Tyrone’s face twists into some sort of monstrous contortion that Zack and Joe seem truly startled by. But Tyrone is addressing Alex, and so doesn’t pay their reactions any mind. “She’s… Going through some things right now, actually. Suffice it to say, Yuki isn’t in the best place to be sent on a weeks-long delve into a Raid. But I’m surprised. I seem to remember you having issues with… Let’s just call it her ‘attention span’.”
Alex winces at that. “Yyyeeesss… Yes, it’s all coming back to me now. Perhaps it’s for the best that she wasn’t up for it.” He quickly turns to Zack and Joe. “Not to say she’s disagreeable in any way. All in all, she’s the nicest girl you’re ever likely to meet. But yeah… She neither has the aptitude, nor thankfully the desire, for leadership of any kind.”
Zack swivels his head around to Tyrone. “You just gonna let sword-boy here badmouth your girl like that?”
After a couple-second-long blank stare, Tyrone bursts into laughter.
So does Alex for that matter.
A little while later, Tyrone wipes the tears from his eyes. “Sorry, that… Caught us both off-guard I think. But you’ll understand when you finally meet her. What Alex said about Yuki was neither inaccurate, nor an insult.”
Zack seems taken aback. “Oh… I’m sorry?”
Tyrone raises an eyebrow at him. “For what?”
“The…” Zack’s eyes suddenly go wide as he seems to rapidly rethink what he was about to say. “I mean for… Um… The presumption?”
“The presumption… Right…” Tyrone lets out a deep-throated chuckle. “Whatever, man, we’re good.” He clearly tries to include little Joe in on it as well. “I try not to run a guild where we worry about that sort of thing.”
Joe just looks back up at him. “…I don’t think I get it. What sort of thing?”
The three others turn to, and answer Joe in near-unison. “Don’t worry about it.”
When the four turn back to the direction they were heading, Tyrone stops in his tracks with wide eyes.
The others jump back in surprise and join Tyrone in some minor variation of the same exclamation. “BAH!!!”
Tyrone looks momentarily embarrassed for his followers, before holding out a hand to the Body that I’ve been moving more and more into their path while they talked. I’m still holding the sign in their average direction.
[ COMMON ACTION: RECALL HEAD ]
Helm appearing on my armor’s empty shoulders for the first time this month, I nod at the offered limb. “I see and acknowledge your appendage. You will be happy to know that I, too, possess arms.”
Everyone just kind of gapes at me after that. Zack alone seems more worried than confused.
Tyrone is especially nonplussed as he tries to reckon with what I just said. “Yyyeah… Yeah, alright…” He motions for the rest of the team to go around.
I let them go without interruption. Even having heard the group audibly malign their lack of another person, I still do not wish to impose.
But after they pass, Tyrone turns around in consternation to look at me. “Parden, but… What does ‘LFG’ mean?”
At that, Zack kicks a nearby pile of rubble hard enough to send debris flying like a shotgun. “SHIT!!!”
Not knowing what else to do, I also ignore Zack’s outburst and turn once more to face Tyrone. “It is an acronym.”
Tyrone stares at the paper I’ve been holding for months. “And what does it stand for?”
I think about that for a moment before my head teleports to another body much closer to Oneshot. One question and a three-word explanation later, it teleports back to where Tyrone is still staring. “It means ‘Looking for group’.”
Tyrone perks up at that.
I nod. “And my own moniker stands for ‘Please Enter Name’.”
Everyone but the now sullen Zack looks above my head, to where that label is clearly visible to all who might bother to target me.
Tyrone tries to move past it. “Riiight… Can I take that to mean you wish to join in on a run of this Raid?”
I nod. “I do not believe my name implies any such thing.”
Tyrone slaps a hand to his forehead. “And you clearly need the help…” He turns to the other three, two of whom seem lost and one of whom seems depressed. “Alright everybody, change of plans. Instead of me leading you through this raid, you’ll be leading Please Enter Name here through it instead.”
I nod. “Please feel free to call me ‘PEN’. All my acquaintances do.”
Alex speaks up. “And how many acquaintances do you have?”
I nod. “Two.”
Zack jumps on that. “So why don’t you complete the raid with them?”
I nod. “I already completed it with one of them. I am to understand this disqualifies us from completing it again as a pair.”
That seems to strike Zack like a physical blow. “And… And what about the other?”
I nod. “The other is an Admin. I am to understand this disqualifies us from completing it as a pair.”
Tyrone chuckles good-naturedly with his arms folded. “That it does. And that also settles it.”
A now panic-stricken Zack’s gaze darts between us. “What? But why? Dragging him along will obviously just turn this into a babysitting job.”
Tyrone nods, stopping himself midway through the motion and side-eyeing me before turning back to Zack. “Precisely. It solves the difficulty problem I mentioned. And last I checked, we’re all supposed to be Heroes, remember?”
Zack groans.
Tyrone smiles down at him in victory. “That’s right.”
Joe looks up at them both. “What’s right? I don’t get it?”
Alex sighs and explains to Joe. “This… ‘PEN’ fellow…” He points at me already waving back. “What do you think will happen when we leave? Assuming we don’t take him along, I mean.”
Joe answers immediately. “He’ll keep standing there. Probably forever, considering the foot traffic through here.”
Alex gestures him forward to follow through on the thought. “And let’s say someone comes along who doesn’t ignore his existence… What then?”
“He’ll beat the Raid again?”
Zack grumbles over their conversation. “Maybe…”
Alex scoffs at that. “More likely, He’ll get taken advantage of, and fleeced for everything he owns.”
I nod. “Please do not worry about me. I already paid everything I own to a nice group of boat-goers for protection during our ferry voyage to see the wind monk. And then again just yesterday in exchange for information on the nearest armor seller. Now I know where to procure armor, and must simply gather additional funds to do so.”
Everyone just stares at me.
Tyrone is the first to break out of their collective trance. “My point exactly. Or… No, that’s far worse than I thought. But it only exacerbates my point.”
Zack raises his hand, almost literally clutching for anything to get him out of what he’s in denial about already being a done deal. “And mine! It exacerbates my point too! We’ll clearly have to hold his hand every step of the way! Have any of you even noticed his level?”
Examining me closer, Alex and Joe both pale at that.
But Tyrone just nods in acknowledgement. “A fine handicap.” He ignores Zack’s spluttering at the sheer unfair indignity of it all, instead pointing first to Alex, and then to Zack himself. “You two are over Level 16. That means you’re both already overleveled for this. With Joe at Level 10, just under what the raid is balanced for, my addition only means things will be far easier than is good for any of you. Let alone myself, who would need to replace you with two others in the single-digits of levels for any hope of anything comparable to the CLASS I already have.”
He shakes his head. “Not that I need it. Like I said back at the clubhouse, I already have my ideal CLASS. I don’t intend to switch it out no matter what drops in this Raid. And I alone tip the scales all the way to the low end of potential spoils for the rest of you. But replacing myself with PEN here will have the opposite effect. All your rewards will be vastly better in the end.”
He meets all their gazes in turn. “It’ll take you from an overleveled group, to one that The System will see as adequately challenged when it comes to the distribution of rewards. To make matters worse, none of you currently have an Anime CLASS or CRAFT. So you’d be stuck with whatever substandard reward you end up with for the foreseeable future. If you wish to join-”
He eyes Alex. “-or rejoin The Anime Club at any rate. Which is up to you, of course. But there you are. Your potential powerset within my guild relies on this going well for you. But it won’t go all that well if The System calculates that the odds are in your favor.” He looks back at me with a smile. “And remember… This is The Anime Raid. Do you know how many times I’ve met someone outside my own guild who actually wanted to do it?”
Everyone but me shakes their heads.
Tyrone nods at that. “Never. Not once.” His face scrunches in clear disgust. “Okay, maybe once. But that doesn’t count. Other than…” He gulps. “Him… I will refuse no offers to join in on a team that has space. No matter how experienced they are. But especially no matter how low their level. Wait…” He looks back at me. “You said you’ve completed this raid once? With one of your two acquaintances?”
I nod as well. “Yes.”
“And you’re only Level Seven?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Have you… Have you done anything else? At all? I can’t imagine the XP from this not covering ascent from Level One, to beyond Seven, all by itself.”
I nod. “I was… You used the word ‘carried’ before. I believe that label applies. In addition to that, I have attained an Attunement and am halfway through its pilgrimage.”
“Is that, um… All?”
I nod. “I have viewed much anime.”
Tyrone squints at me, as though trying to see through something opaque that should be transparent. “But… I don’t understand. How did you get here?”
I nod. “I was teleported.”
“You can… Teleport? And so far for your level…”
I nod. “No. The one who carried me through, teleported me here, and then to Central Station once we were done with the raid.”
“Oh. Right, of course. Well goddamn… What attunement, by the way?”
“Gale.”
Tyrone gapes for a moment. “A self-duplicating CLASS With a wind attunement…” A wide smile creeps across his face as he turns to look at his three companions. “And y’all wanted to turn him down?”
Alex chuckles. “Retracted.”
Joe beams. “Retracted.”
Zack sighs. “Whatever… I’m not about to die on that hill, if that’s what you’re waiting for.”
Everyone just stares at him.
“I’m not gonna say it.”
Everyone keeps staring.
Zack folds his arms. “I will die on this one, though. So I hope you’re ready to wait, right here, forever.”
Tyrone claps his hands and turns with a wide smile back to me. “And there you have it. Welcome to our Raid Group, Pl-er… PEN. You, me, Alex and Joe are gonna beat this thing while Zack sits out here and waits for the heat-death of the universe.”
Zack unfolds his arms in affronted horror. “WHAT???”
Tyrone starts walking, hurrying the rest of us inside. “Come along you three, let’s leave him to his hill-dying.” He looks down at me, having clearly thought of a great idea. “This is perfect, actually. PEN, while Zack is doing that for the rest of eternity, you can take his spot in the guild. How about it?”
Zack stomps his foot. “ARE YOU SERIOUS???”
I Don’t know what a guild is, but nod regardless. “Very well.”
Zack hurries to catch up to us. “Oh my god, fine! Retracted!”