JESSIE : LEVEL 6
DAY 29 : E-DAY, FOURTHWEEK, AGNI, YEAR 1
OUTSET 6 : ROTTED DUNGEON 1 : EW
Mich, Rachel and I are getting ready to try out a dungeon we came across.
Mich sits on a rock just outside the entrance, scandalously watching us girls put on more clothes.
[ UNCOMMON WEAPON EQUIPPED: KATANA OF THE DADDY-LONGLYCANTHROPE - 37 PHY ]
Adjusting the sheathed katana’s position on my waist to something a bit more comfortable than the default, I set that as the new default. Nodding in approval at the thoroughness of my preparations, I double-check everything before raising my voice. “Alright, let’s go.”
Rachel waves the hand that isn’t busy wriggling into a glove. “Wait, hold on a sec! I’m not ready!”
On that note, Ross finally catches up to us. “Sorry, I ran a little behind. What’re we doing?”
Rachel looks back at him. “Dungeon.”
“Oh, again? Why?”
I stare at them both like they’re crazy. “XP. Also loot. Do I need a third reason?”
Ross sighs in resigned exasperation. “Ooof course that’s what this is… Alright, gimme a minute to get set up.”
Probably just to keep me from bothering them until they’re done, Mich waves me over to the rock he’s sitting on. “Come on, let’s leave them to their business and chat while we wait.”
Deflating a bit at how spot-on the assumption I projected onto him is, I meander over there. Then I look at the rock. Then at Mich. Then next to him where he’s patting an empty spot on the rock.
[ RARE CHAIR DEPLOYED: BENCH HALF ]
Instead, I sit down on an actual cushion. “Mkay… What about?”
Mich winces at his life choices before summoning his own chair and sitting there instead of the rock while trying to distract me from the fact he’s doing that. “I was kinda hoping you could provide the topic.”
I blow out a puff of air. “Then I guess…” I tilt my head up at him, finally remembering what I was thinking about before we spotted the dungeon. “Know anything about Mod Stones?”
“A bit. Not an expert, but I think I’ve got the rules down. What’s on your mind?”
“I got one the other day from killing that bitch Ursula right before she could off Rachel.”
Rachel calls over. “Thanks again for that by the way!”
I wave back. “No problem! My pleasure, even.” Seriously. That was fucked up what Ursula did. I kinda even wish I could kill her again right now… Taking a moment to brood, I turn back to Mich. “That’s my second Mod Stone, actually. The other’s a Random. The new one says it’s specifically for Uncommon Mods, but I don’t really know what that means. Or what Mods even are in the first place. I mean other than the angelic arresty ones.”
Mich seems to really make an effort to think through how to explain. “What they do is pretty simple on a base level. Everything has a number of effects and attributes based on its rarity, function, and all that. But they also have a single Mod Slot, and a relatively wide selection of mods you can unlock to change their functionality in some way. Things like shockwaves, fire effects, STAT boosts, that kind of stuff. And Mod stones are how you unlock them.”
I latch right the fuck onto the obvious standout from what he just listed. “Okay, great. I'll just mod all my armor with Speed STAT boosts then.”
“Oh… Yeah, no you won't.”
“And what, exactly, is gonna stop me?”
Mich chuckles at the aggressive tone. “The entire way The System is set up, for one. Only Accessories have STAT increase Mods. So you can only really boost a STAT by one that way.”
“Oh. Well, that seems pretty pointless. Don't Accessories grant shit like flight or whatever?”
“I’d say it depends on your situation. What would you rather have? Flight? Or your Speed not reduced by more than half?”
I throw him a blank look. “What kind of comparison is that? You said it can only be a single point. Obviously, doubling my speed is more important. But I'd also take flight over a single point in Speed any day. Which, I might add, is like my favorite STAT. So you better believe it’s a high priority.”
“Okay then, hypothetically, What if you invested so much in Defense that you were stuck at 15 points in Speed?”
“But doesn't everyone start with 16 in every STAT?”
“Of course they do.”
“Then what are you even talking about, Jaaa-Mich?”
Apparently neither knowing what to do with that, nor up for the conversation regardless, Mich ignores the slip-up. “Remind me, what’s your level and highest STAT?”
I feel my heart pound as I’m pretty sure I have to try way harder than Mich to move past my own slip-up. “Um… 6 and 25.”
Mich seems to do some math in his head. After a moment, his eyes widen. “Actually, nevermind. You won’t have to worry about that for a long time. There are other things to get a handle on first.”
“Woah woah, woooah there, hold the fuck up. This sounds like the kind of shit I need to watch out for in the long term. What, exactly, are you talking about?”
“You know, you’re lucky that I talk to people while you’re out here by yourself, hitting stuff with that big metal stick you call a sword. Anyway, as I found out three stops ago from a very pleasant Wandering Maxlevel named Todd, It all comes down to milestones.”
“And milestones are..?”
Mich sighs. “So there’s three major STAT milestones. 16, 32, and 64. Each of those represents a massive, practically exponential boost from just one point below. I’d almost suggest you get a STAT accessory to take your Speed from 31 to 32 whenever you’re short that one point. But if I know you, your Speed won't stay at 31 long enough for the cost-benefit ratio to be worth it. Hell, if you found an Epic-rarity mod stone, which is where the STAT mods are, you’d probably be better off just selling it and buying some equipment. With how much those are worth, some good designer gear would eclipse whatever benefit a single STAT milestone would get you.” He eyes me. “You got all that so far?”
I try to pretend my attention wasn’t slipping that whole time. “Sure, yeah, thanks.”
Mich nods in approval of not having to repeat himself. “The issue is that if a STAT isn’t within one milestone of its pair, the lower one gets locked one milestone below where it actually is. So, if you get to 64 Speed and your Defense is under 32, it’ll effectively be locked at 15. Even if it’s actually 31.”
Oh… I wasn’t expecting my heart to just break like that. But I’m overcome with the need to make sure. “And… Will it stay that way?”
Mich shrugs. “Todd and I didn’t really get into that. But it does logically follow that your calculated Defense would stay at 15 until, and unless, its true value reaches 32.” He eyes my dejected ass. “Oh, don’t look at me like I crushed your dreams. That’s actually where accessories come in. They’re calculated last. Even after STAT Adjustments. So only an accessory can take you from 15 to 16. But, again, there’s only one Mod Slot for anything, including accessories. And you said you’re minmaxing Speed, right?”
Not paying much attention to whatever Mich is saying, I absentmindedly nod while frantically re-thinking a lot of assumptions I made based on other assumptions that it turns out aren't true. If I keep things going in my current pattern… So I can minmax speed or Physical Strength. Not both. So which one would I… But I already know. A bit of resigned build-planning later, I come back to myself. “Sorry, I lost you for a minute there. What were we talking about?”
“Before all the tangents? Mod Stones.”
“Oh yeah…”
Mich looks over at Rachel arranging her hair in a tiny mirror while Ross tries to hop into a battle harness he bought for some reason. After watching that for far too long, Mich shakes himself out of his weird trance and sighs as he looks back at me. “But, I suppose if we’re talking about min-maxing STAT boosts, what you’ll actually want are Runes, not Mod Stones.”
I feel myself tense at the realization that there’s yet another thing to keep track of. This is already confusing enough… “Is this finally the last System thing?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
Mich shrugs. “How the hell should I know?”
I try to come to terms with no end to turtles before asking the obvious question. “And runes are..?”
“Do you have any Uncommon armor?”
“A left boot, yeah.”
“Perfect. Are you inspecting it in your inventory?”
“No. Of course not. What a weird thing to assume.”
“Well, do it.”
“Why?”
Mich sighs. “Just do it, please.”
[ UNCOMMON ARMOR: LEFT CROC OF THE ANUBAE ]
I look blankly at the complicated schematics with dozens of numbers that seem to relate in some way to the slipper. But, as usual, I don’t know what almost any of them mean. “Okay… So what am I looking for?”
“Apart from the Armor Effects and the Mod Slot, you should see a circular outline off to the side of its System Display.”
“I don’t really know what…” Oh. “Actually, yeah, I see that. I just thought it was part of the decorative display you get from higher-rarity stuff. So what’s the circle for?”
“That’s a Rune Slot.”
I nod knowingly. “I see…” but also sarcastically. “So?”
“So, you can put a rune in there.”
I nod knowingly. “I see…” My sarcasm overflows, flooding the entire conversation. “So?”
“You know, if you’re gonna ask me to teach you these things, the least you could do is not make it feel like pulling teeth.”
I slump in my chair. “Sorry. Bad habit. I’m trying to get over it. But… Well, you know. So what do runes do?”
“Why would that be a habit..? Actually, you know what? Never mind. Each rune adds an incremental boost to one of a bunch of different things. Among those are STATs.”
My sarcasm evaporates as my attention is monopolized. Now that’s what I’m talking about…
Mich relaxes as he seems to spot my newfound attentiveness. “Not only that, but at the highest rarities, equipment comes with Three Rune Slots each. So, while you can’t do anything about it with Mod Slots, you can increase any STAT by three per fully slotted high-rarity equipment.”
My answering whisper is reverent. “Woah…”
“Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?”
I smile as warmly as I can remember. “Fuck yeah, it is. So then what’s the hold-up? Let’s hurry up and grind for them shits!”
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Mich shakes his head. “Not really a viable option, I’m afraid.”
I groan. “Goddamn it, stop getting my hopes up like that!” I take a moment of disgruntled silence to calm down a bit. “Okay, why?”
“Because those kinds of Runes are incredibly popular. And incredibly rare. And those two facts combine to make them incredibly expensive.”
I immediately revert to exactly how excited I was earlier. “Oh! So they’re at least common enough that they’re for sale? How much are they?”
“I wouldn’t say ‘for sale’. A few of them do pop up on The Auction every now and then. But Let me put it to you this way. If all of us liquidated everything we owned that isn’t a starting item, and we pooled it all together, we still wouldn't come even remotely close to affording that kind of Rune.”
Ross and Rachel grumble in annoyed agreement.
I look over at them. “Wait, how did either of you know about rRunes when I didn’t?”
Rachel gets up. “Mich told us about them while you were off doing whatever you did for all of yesterday.” She twirls her staff. “I’m ready, by the way.”
Ross somehow manages to stretch his newly encumbered arms. “Me too.”
With renewed determination, Mich gets up and faces the dungeon entrance. “Then let’s go.”
Penetrating the purple haze-bubble-thing, the open tree copse transitions directly into a rotted hole. At least there’s no maggots. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing those in here. But I hit the narrow definition of a jackpot in that regard, as there isn’t a single sign of life to be found. There aren’t even any defining features besides a nearly identical texture of a long-dead wood ceiling, floor, and walls. Carefully at first, we proceed down the corridor faster as we become more and more sure the path through a dead tree is stable. Eventually, the path forks.
I walk down the left fork without breaking stride, even as everyone else stops.
Ross calls after me. “Are we sure we should go that way?”
“It’s a dungeon. No telling where the treasure is. So we’re going everywhere, right?”
Rachel perks up at that. “There’s treasure?”
Even as I approach the next corner, I don’t need to raise my voice with how echoey this place is. “No idea. Won’t know until we check, will we? So in the meantime, we might as well just keep going left. Once we check the leftmost dead end for treasure, we can move one to the right. Then another, and another, and so on until we transition all the way to that other fork you’re so in love with. Depth-first search is classic dungeon traversal methodology.” Almost as though taking that as a self-deprecating cue, I jerk to a stop halfway around the corner.
Mich comes up from behind, seeming to spot my newfound hesitation. “What’s wrong?”
Holding my sleeve to my mouth, I try to back away while talking through a hacking cough. “What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’? It smells like death is what’s wrong.”
Rachel retches from behind. “Oh god… Yeah, that’s rancid. Should we turn around?”
I lurch a defiant half-step forward before doubling back through a dry heave. “Yes. Yes we should.” Heading back, I lead us down the other fork instead, only to despair at the same smell emanating from an even shorter distance.
Ross calls out through a plugged nose. “Try another path?”
I taste quesadilla through the ineffective filter of my sleeve. “No other paths to try. They all smell like… This. Nothing for it but to go all the way down-oh god.”
Turning the corner, we finally see it. There’s no question that this is where the smell’s coming from. Some kind of dripping slime lizard thing is scuttling aimlessly across the decayed floor as though in slow motion. It leaves a black slug-like trail that shows hints of red whenever it snags on the rotting tree shards that jut out from basically everywhere in the dungeon. The poor thing has apparently been here for a while, since the entire open area past the corridor is coated to the point of being drenched in the same thick red-tinged black goo.
[ MONSTER TARGETED: SLIZARD ]
With the increasingly distinct taste of quesadilla rising from my throat, I further despair at the realization of how much of an improvement that is over the thing in front of us. As soon as I can think straight, I frantically turn to Mich. “You’re up I think. Arrows please. Lots of arrows.”
Nodding severely, Mich knocks an arrow and looses it, swallowing a retch of his own.
As a red ‘20’ rises from the impact point, the thing’s back left leg sloughs off as though from a rotted corpse. Smells like it too.
In fact, we all audibly gag as the previously trapped scent reaches us.
Rachel is the first to actually puke.
But far from the last as the slizard’s dismembered leg starts spinning at the middle joint. That leaves its lower half to hang and drip red-veined black slime while the upper half spins like a helicopter to whirl towards us while splattering everything nearby.
That, specifically, is when the rest of us vomit.
I snort in disgust so hard it turns to laughter at how hard I’m snorting along with maybe a little shock-induced insanity. “WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FLYING FUCK???”
Rachel cries out in horror. “MICH!!! OH MY GOD HIT IT AGAIN!!!”
Ross adds helpfully. “BEFORE IT TOUCHES US!!!”
Through watery eyes, Mich aims and looses an arrow that flies right past the helicoptering leg and wetly thunks into the newly legless Slizard.
On impact, another leg slides free like a perfectly cooked lamb shank from the bone. It splatters slime and blood everywhere, but especially downward as it lifts off just like the first.
Rachel’s screaming cry transitions into more of a regular one. “Tha-hat’s not what I me-he-he-heant..!”
Ross isn’t quite ready to cry though. “OH WHATEVER JUST KILL IT!!!”
Mich visibly fights the urge to lurch before nocking another arrow. “Don’t have to tell me twice.” The arrow he’s aiming glows brighter and larger as he pulls it back more and more. Finally, he releases the string. A gently glowing, otherwise normal arrow takes a bit of the big shining one’s size and luster as it’s fired out. Then another, and another. Seven arrows in total shoot out of the shrinking central one before the formerly big arrow itself goes last.
Four arrows plunk into the sticky abomination, each answered by yet another limb falling off and subsequently propelling itself into the air by spinning at its middle joint. The exception to this rule is the head, which is instead held aloft by a whirling spinal cord. But the grossest thing by far is what’s left behind.
Despite each limb having detached practically on its own, the cuts aren’t clean. Quite the opposite, in fact. Everything around the holes left by each limb was eviscerated after the nearby parts practically ripped themselves free. The final four of Mich’s eight-arrow barrage bounce off the pulsing mess of a gaping wound-filled torso that shimmers with a translucent blue barrier at the same time as each arrow pings away.
Seeing that, Ross offers up some sage advice. “KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT-”
Rachel just runs. “NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE-”
I’m up against the wall as far away from any of that thing as I can get, busting a different kind of gut. “O-ho-ho-ho my god that’s so gross!”
Mich winces in puzzled bewilderment at what just happened to his arrows. “It says… Oh. Apparently, it’s immune to ranged damage now.”
I stop laughing. I gulp. I instantly regret gulping.
Mich turns to me despite my really wishing he wouldn’t. “Looks like you’re up, Swordsman.”
Breaking into a cold sweat, I can’t help but snap at him. “YEAH, I KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING LOOKS LIKE!!!” I try to shake my head clear of the misdirected rage before it can get any further, and center myself. It doesn’t work.
But the six nightmare-fuel organic drones don’t seem to care as they inch closer and closer.
Okay, don’t panic… Don’t panic… I put a hand on my sword hilt. …Alright, now what? Having accomplished as much of a plan as I can make right now, I try to think of what to do next.
[ COMMON ACTION: IAI QUICKDRAW ]
At that, my mind goes blank, transfixed by the spinning limbs, now close enough to spatter me with… “Oh god get away get away get awa-”
[ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]
A shockwave blasts out from my whole body at once, doing precisely nothing at this range. But it gives me an idea. Not giving myself time to second-guess any of this, I leap forward, knowing full well that waiting will only make this whole thing harder, messier, and in so many other ways, worse. Hand still gripping my sheathed sword’s hilt, I run straight for the pulsing mess that used to be a torso. I’m not shy about using my panic button for a second, third, and fourth time as soon as I enter the range of the first, second, and final group of helicoptering limbs that curve towards me as I approach.
[ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]
[ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]
[ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]
I put each of the airborne gore sprinklers out of my mind once I register them rocketing into, and varyingly splatting and skittering off the hollowed-out tree’s wall, ceiling, or floor. As soon as I’m just barely within two katana-lengths of the torso, I fully draw my sword.
[ RARE TOGGLE ON: EXTEND-O-SWORD ]
Ignoring the water getting flung everywhere by my now permanently wet katana, I promptly and efficiently and frantically and desperately beat the ever-loving shit out of this thing! “AAAH!!! AAAH, OH GOD OH FUCK OH SHIT!!!” I don’t bother keeping track of how many times I hit the disgusting thing from as fast and far away as I can. Just as the head gets close enough for its whirling spinal cord to fling some sort of gross bullshit onto me, I deactivate the only thing that makes this even slightly tolerable.
[ RARE TOGGLE OFF: EXTEND-O-SWORD ]
I’m left panting, exhausted, and oxygen-deprived from trying not to breathe in this place. Extremely careful not to let my fatigue and dizziness fuck this up now, I carefully resheath my katana, knowing that a miss basically guarentees getting splattered.
[ IAI QUICKDRAW BONUS DAMAGE: 3,534 ]
Each airborne limb instantly goes from spinning to limp and falls wherever its momentum takes it as the throbbing torso explodes, showering the entire room in itself like history’s grossest grenade. I can just barely make out a two-digit golden number in the middle of all that. But I can’t actually read it. Nor would I care to if I could.
I just stand there, shaken to the core as I whisper to myself. “Oh my god…”
Mich catches the noise and seems to notice I’m having a hard time. “Everything okay?”
I can feel my eye twitching. “That… Was the worst thing I’ve ever… Anythinged…”
“Yeah… Do you need a break? Or are you good to go again? Now that we know what we’re dealing with, we can form a plan of some-”
“AGAIN???”
Mich looks apologetic, but resolved. “We only just started the dungeon.”
I taste quesadilla. “Nope.”
“You wanna back out?”
“Yep.”
“But the rewards-”
Midway through his sentence, I make a beeline for the exit. “Don’t give a fuck, nothing is worth that.”
Mich calls after me, his voice echoing throughout this whole gross-ass tree. “I didn’t think you were one to just give up like that-”
I run back and get right up in his face. “Motherfucker…” I smirk as I eye Ross in the corner, clutching his knees and rocking back and forth. “You wanna take a vote?”
Finally noticing him, Mich relents and together, we help a traumatized Ross to his feet before walking out of the cave. As soon as we do, the beatific environment puts the experience into, in several ways, a fresh perspective.
I inhale as deep as I ever have. A few long breaths later, I break the ensuing silence. “Wanna go back in there, Mich?”
Mich shudders, clearly feeling the same dissonance. “I take your point.”
Together with the help of our minimap’s respectively customized teammate icons, we walk the roughly half-mile to where Rachel ran after she escaped the cave. But she apparently doesn’t want to talk. Or move. She would clearly prefer to just lay there in her bed, silently looking about as defeated as a person can be.
I just stare at her. But soon, my gaze moves to Ross. Then to Mich. Then to myself, still sporadically covered in slime and blood and… I look back at the other three. Aren’t we supposed to be heroes? I look down at myself again, feeling less comfortable in my own skin than I ever did when I was alive. And isn’t this supposed to be heaven? My mind races back to a Skill option I saw several times, but always dismissed as too trivial for the point investment. In a moment of clarity, I realize just how wrong I was.
[ UNCOMMON CORE TOGGLE GAINED: CLEANLINESS — EFFECT 1: ENVIRONMENTAL ELEMENTS YOU INTERACT WITH WILL NOT LEAVE ANY MARK ON YOUR PERSON OR CLOTHES — EFFECT 2: ANY FOREIGN MATERIAL NOT PART OF AN ACTIVE EFFECT WILL SLIDE OFF YOUR BODY — COST: MP DRAIN ]
And now none of my CLASS or CRAFT Uncommons are selectable. Another clue… I feel like I’m on the verge of figuring out how this whole fucked up unlock system works. Just need a little more data to be sure. But I’m also out of Skill Points just now. And me with a dungeon to erase… How convenient.
[ UNCOMMON TOGGLE ON: CLEANLINESS ]
“Ahhh…” It feels like there was a layer of slime covering me a second ago. Which, of course, there was. But now it’s gone. And besides the Slizard remnants, it’s as though there was a thin membrane of raw sewage engulfing my whole body like vacuum-sealed cellophane. I just never noticed it. But now that it’s gone too, the absence is impossible to miss. “Hey, guys?”
No one replies, but everyone pays attention.
“Do you mind staying here for a bit?”
Ross looks at me like I’m crazy. “Why?”
Rachel shudders before croaking weakly. “What..?”
Mich gets back up. “I’m coming with.”
Ross and Rachel react the same way. “WHAT???”
I ignore them to flash Mich a wry grin. “If you can keep up…”
Mich folds his arms. “And what’re you gonna do without the ranged support?”
“I was ‘gonna’ Aura Burst six times to get the torso free, and then smack the shit out of it till it died while Aura Bursting every time a limb got close.”
“Won’t that be a huge mana investment for every kill? All The While keeping Cleanliness on the whole time? I assume that’s the Skill you just got. I have the same one, so I know what it looks like when it cleans you up. That thing drains mana like a sieve, you know. Just how fast do you expect to get this done?”
My heart drops as I belatedly consider how long it’d take with my passive MP regen. “I guess… You can come.”
Ross’s arms shoot upwards. “I’m out!”
Rachel nods enthusiastically. “Me too.”
Mich and I look at each other. And then to the other two. “So this is it, then?”
Rachel snorts. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. I’ll be in and around Welcome Hill whenever you’re done.”
Ross’s shoulders relax. “That’s where we were going next, right?”
“You’re joining me?”
“Of course I am. Not about to hang around these two masochistic psychopaths if they’re gonna be anywhere near that disgusting tree.”
Rachel winces. Then turns to Mich. “I gotta agree with Ross on this one. I’m still up for the trip to Central, but you can count me 100% out of anything to do with that dungeon.”
Can’t say I blame them. “I understand. And I agree. I was never much of a hero myself. But here I am in Heaven anyway. Figure the least I can do is return the favor and wipe that slime-rotted hellhole from the face of it.”
Mich smiles down at me as he stands next to where Ross still hasn’t moved from. “Ditto, kiddo.”
I groan at the almost-pun.
Then, Mich and I deathmarch back to the dungeon. And we beat everything in that hellhole.
Including the boss, called a ‘Slimodo Dragon’. It’s differentiated from the smaller Slizards by its size, power, speed, and a fun acidic disintegration effect added onto the grossest shit that never should’ve been.
Once it dies, we vote to wipe the dungeon off the map, teleport back to the cave entrance, and do the whole thing again. And again, and again, and again.
Eventually, we’re both too tired for another run. So we go to sleep just outside the massive, long-dead tree.
Then we get up and do it all again. And again and again and again once again.