Zifang was known for its peace and order.

Thanks to proper implementation of the law, law abiding citizens, a highly competent armed forces and criminal syndicates that actually respected the law.

Sadly, peaceful times often bred weak men.

Just to be clear though, Zifang's law enforcement was by no means weak in terms of physical strength or competence.

They just have not experienced fighting anyone who would gladly put innocent people in harms way.

This was something Theo abused to its absolute limit.

While he made a large lead when he started swinging like a certain web slinging superhero, he was up against superhuman beings.

There was no way he could outrun them.

As such, before they could box him in, Theo changed course and headed for the tall office buildings in Zifang's capital where, despite being late at night, there were still a decent amount of people in the offices.

This was where the poor wage slaves worked themselves to death.

As such, Theo decided to lighten up their day with a little disruptive entertainment.

He crashed into one of the many offices in the area and grabbed a nearby unwilling volunteer to participate in the festivities.

Not a millisecond later, 3 katana wielding men violently smashed through the wall in pursuit.

They hesitated the moment they saw Theo had a hostage.

Big mistake.

Without hesitation, Theo open fired with his Beretta ARX160.

One idiot tried to block the bullets, but he soon discovered what 700 rounds per minute was all about.

As cool as it might have been, the man quickly gained a lot of weight through rapid ingestion of lead.

Theo avoid hitting his heart and head and left the man bloodied but alive.

The other two moved in opposite directions and tried to catch him in a two prong assault.

Theo threw his hostage at the one coming from the right and obliterated the arms of the one coming from the left with a Super Shotgun blast.

As the man on the right abandoned his attack to catch the hostage, Theo dropped on the floor and shot the man in the balls.

While the 3 were withering in agony, he ran towards the nearest window to make his exist.

Upon checking the video feed from the spy drones, he dodge rolled to the side as a massive fist smashed through the wall.

Just outside was a 5 story giant with ghost white skin, rippling muscles and a face that nearly made Theo piss his pants.

The giant swiftly pulled out its fist, only the slam the other one into the building.

Shockingly enough, it was only hitting the area where Theo was. There was no collateral damage anywhere else.

For something so big to have such precise control scared the crap out of him.

Theo jumped out of the building and used his grappling gun to swing to the next building.

The giant tried to swat him like a cockroach but immediately abandoned it's attempt. Zifang's streets were too congested for a big swipe.

He shot the window, plowed through it and immediately ran for his life.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" screamed Theo as he ran.

Not a second later, the massive fist obliterated where he once stood.

"You have got to be kidding me! I cant believe they summoned that thing in the middle of the city!" said Maria through the coms.

"If you know something, I'd really love to hear it!"

"Papa. That thing is called a Fumetsu no Oni which probably translates to Immortal Oni. It is cursed by a Geas where 'No blade, nor arrow can pierce through its skin'. Quite simply, that thing is impervious to damage. Don't bother fighting it and run!"

"No need to tell me twice!"

Theo ran deeper into the building, hoping that the giant oni would not risk innocent lives to kill him.

Fortunately, he was correct.

He could hear the ground shake as the giant oni slowly paced around the building.

Theo used this chance to escape.

He went to the elevator and forced the door open.

After confirming that the elevator was on a higher floor, he used his grappling gun to repel down the shaft all the way to the basement.

He did a quick sweep to check if anyone was there. Once he was certain it was clear, he transmuted a hole on a wall and continued to do so with the plan of getting to the next building.

Naturally, he made sure to reform the wall as he went.

Approximately mid way through, he felt a constant vibration underneath his feet.

It was different from the thuds generated by the giant oni's footstep.

Though unsure of what it was, he understood that there was a hollow area beneath him.

While his role was to serve as a distraction, the situation topside was ideal for him.

He would have continued his building hopping madness if the giant oni was that of the clumsy kind. Sadly, it was highly dexterous and it's strikes were precise.

If Theo did not have the spy drones as his eyes, he would have been dead at the very first strike.

To make matters worse, the oni has slowed his progress immensely. Most of his pursuers have already caught up and has set up a perimeter to prevent him from escaping.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

As much as he wanted to continue running the ZSDF around, he wont get anywhere with that giant in his way.

As such, Theo abandoned his original plan and transmuted downwards.

A few moments later, his worst fear has been realized.

The vibration he was experiencing was in fact the flow of dirty water.

This area was part of Zifang's massive underground sewage system.

And since Theo did not wear his helmet this time around, his sense of smell was bombarded by all of the sewer's pestilent glory.

After the contents of his stomach made a violent exit through his mouth, he made his way through the sewers.

Unlike Vermillion City's rapid and often unplanned reconstruction, Zifang has hardly ever experienced large scale destruction. As such, the sewers' layout was as orderly as expected of Zifang engineering.

He tried accessing his spy drones but could not get a signal. He was probably in way too deep.

For the next 5 minutes, he strolled through the garden of shit like little red riding hood until he found a ladder.

Eventually he got some signal as he ascended.

"PAPA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! ANSWER ME!" roared Maria through the coms.

"Holy crap! Watch the volume will ya." replied Theo.

"YOU! Stupid Papa! You had me worried damn you!"

"You're over exaggerating my dear."

"Shut up! I was scared shitless when the Fumetsu no Oni flattened the building!"

"Eh? For real?"

From the spy drone feed, Theo saw the giant oni standing in front of the ruins of the building he was in. The ZSDF units carefully went through the wreckage in search for him.

"Excessive much?" asked the confused Theo.

"Tell me about it. The Fumetsu no Oni can only be summoned by the reigning Zifang Emperor. It is their greatest spiritual weapon normally used in war." replied Maria.

"For real?! Why in Neptune's hairy testicle would they bring out their trump card for a single annoyance like me? Something's fishy here."

Theo went through the Hassan I Sabbah's reports to find the cause of this overkill.

Surprisingly, the reason was easy to find.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!"

"Eh? What's wrong Papa?"

"Listen to this headline. 'The nation celebrates the marriage of Emperor Akatsuki Daisoujo and Princess Xiao Ning despite the tension between the 2 nations'. Looks like there's a lot of blow back since one is a Zifang monarch while the other is a lower noble in the Jade Empire. And since the Jade Imps have done nothing but piss off Zifang, national hatred between the two nations are at an all time high."

"Oh... I see.... Now I get it! So this is why you sent me here! Damn you Papa! Making things more convoluted than it's suppose to be!"

"Say what now?"

"Ah. I apologize. The you in the future made damn sure that I went into this mission as ill prepared as possible. 'To ensure that the space time continuum will not be disturbed' and other such reason. The mission given to me was to destroy the Garden of Eden, but I'm not sure that's the really the goal of this operation."

"And that would be?"

"Not gonna tell you. 'To ensure-' "

"'-that the space time continuum will not be disturbed'. Yeah yeah. I got it."

"There is one thing I can tell you though. Your meeting with the former Zifang Emperor Takihiro Daisoujo will have far reaching consequences. Be careful."

"Can you be any more vague?!"

"Time travel. You know how it is."

"Tch. Fine. I guess I'll sneak past my adoring fans and head straight for the ex-emperor. I think I already bought Vivi enough time to make his exist."

"Based on the info provided by the Hassan I Sabbah infiltrators, they're using a car hidden in the underground anti-flood tunnels and making a beeline to the airport. They'll be there in 3 minutes."

"Wow. That's fast."

"Indeed. Unfortunately, you have to take out the Fumetsu no Oni if you want to go meet the ex-emperor."

"Didn't you say that things is immune to damage?! Why in gods name would I want to go up against that?!"

"Because it can instantly teleport to its summoner no matter how far away it is. You're better at reading people than me right? It's easy for you to understand why you're meeting the 'ex'- emperor and not the current emperor."

Theo groaned in response.

Even without knowing the internal situation of Zifang's royalty, he could pretty much guess the shit show he was about to walk into.

The following were the info he had on hand.

1. The marraige between a Zifang royalty and a Jade Imperial princess.

2. Using the Fumetsu no Oni on a single terrorist. Overkill much?

3. The Ex-Emperor wanted to meet Theo in secret in the Imperial Palace where the wedding is being held.

Conclusion:

The Ex-Emperor was fiercely against the Current Emperor's wedding and was probably going to use Theo to stop it.

The Current Emperor probably thought that Theo's rampage was a ploy to do exactly just that, thus sending the Fumetsu no Oni to quickly put an end to it.

Were the former and current emperor at each other's throat?

He did not know.

One this was for sure though, Theo was about to get dragged into a messy family affair that may end up becoming an international incident.

"I know the enemy may seem insurmountable, but I swear there is a way to defeat it." Said Maria. "As far as I know the 'No blade, nor arrow can pierce through its skin' geas is a constant damage nullification enchantment that takes massive amounts of mana as upkeep. Not even the esteemed Daisoujo bloodline has the capacity to constantly supply it all on their own. This is done by having 50 or so Omniyojis supply the short fall. And because of its gas guzzling nature, it is kept completely still when not in combat."

"So you're telling me to drain its gas by making it move as long and has erratic as possible?" asked Theo.

"That's the long and short of it. As far as I know, the Fumetsu no Oni was beaten this way multiple times in the past."

"And you expect me, a nearly normal human being, to do just that? Aren't you overestimating my ability, my stupid daughter?"

"Shut up stupid papa! If you weren't so adamant in doing things yourself so you can get your adrenaline rush, we wouldn't be in this mess! "

"Nyohohoho. Guilty as charged. The idea of challenging something beyond my abilities is quite exhilarating you know. I have to think on my feet and find a way to come from behind-..... behind? .... hmmm..... behind.... THAT'S IT!" said Theo as he was struck with a eureka moment.

"Eh? Huh? Did you spot a weakness?"

"I'm not sure yet, but if I'm right, this battle is going to be easy as pie."

"Did your brain finally break from stress?"

"Hahaha! Not in the slightest! Watch and learn my stupid daughter! See memes are more powerful than even the gods!"

-:-

5 minutes later

Theo left a bathroom door with a naked unconscious man inside.

The man was a bit larger than Theo in terms of bulk and that's exactly why Theo chose the poor man to 'voluntarily donate' some ZSDF military uniform.

Sadly, he had to give up on the backpack with mechanical arms. It was simply too bulky and too suspicious to be carrying around.

As such, he deposited it inside a coin locker and had the Hassan I Sabbah infiltrators pick it up later.

He was currently inside one of the public bathrooms in the maze like underground malls/ pathways underneath the capital's busy streets.

Normally, a ZSDF personnel would would stick out like a sore thumb in the mostly civilian dominated underground pathways, but Theo's rampage has gotten everyone nervous.

Since Theo's mastery of the Zifang language was that of a 3 year old child, he could not understand any of the chatter on the radio he took from the ZSDF soldier. He had to rely on the Hassan I Sabbah infiltrators to know what's what.

So far, the ZSDF were digging through the rubble of the building they collapsed. However, they assumed that Theo was able to escape them collapsing the building on him, hence the many ZSDF patrols all over the capital.

This allowed him to move around without anyone batting an eye.

He exited the confusing subway and made his way to the Fumetsu no Oni which was standing like a statue on an abandon lot 3 blocks away from the collapsed building.

Naturally, there were tons of spectators taking pictures a few meters away from it.

It did look cool after all.

As he approached the beast, he noticed that it's chest cavity showed signs of breathing. However, it did not even register Theo or any of the other ZSDF walking around in its eyes.

Did it not have free will?

Either way, it was good for Theo.

He acted naturally and walked towards the Fumetsu no Oni until he was directly underneath it.

Fortunately, the beast was only wearing some animal fur to cover its private parts. If it was wearing some underwear, Theo would have had a harder time to pull of his anti-immortal plan.

Theo activated the Arm Cannon function of his left arm and loaded a tungsten round.

Naturally, there's no way the ZSDF personel would not have noticed this suspicious activity.

They called him out, but when he failed to answer back (he couldn't understand what they were saying), they immediately drew their weapon.

Theo drew a grappling gun, shot it at the oni's butt cheeks and went straight for its ass.

The smell radiating from the oni's discharge pipe would have made him vomit if he still had anything left in his stomach.

He now understood why the soldiers were so far away from the beast.

Enduring the stench, he activated 2 of the 3 archon batteries in his arm and shoved it right up its ass.

"'No blade, nor arrow can pierce through its skin' huh? Let's see if this applies on its insides!"

Theo open fired.

The Oni's upper half was obliterated by a violent explosion.

The tungsten round blew a hole through 3 buildings before it broke apart.

Lesson of the story?

Fear the Memes.