Once upon a time, there was a bioweapon.
He was ill content with his lot in life, so he supped upon the sinful fruit of wisdom and ascended into a state of higher being. From that point on, some things happened, yadda yadda yadda. Basically, he became the Super Minion.
This... this is the story of how he went from being the Super Minion, to being the Super Dad.
... as soon as he can find dem damn kids.
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This time, Tofu found himself looking for his kids in the employee lounge. He was looking for them so damn hard, I'm telling you.
After swallowing the sugar he poured down his throat, he pondered why did humans have to be so inefficient at everything. Why didn't they just put the bags of sugar out directly? It would save them the extra step, and it'd mean more sugar for him when he came here to eat it all.
Silly, silly sandwiches.
Oh, there's one of those tasty morsels now.
Buzzer came into the room, looking rather tired. The pheromones he was giving off screamed 'I really need a shitton of coffee with a fuckton of sugar!'
Stolen story; please report.
"Tofu, you didn't save any sugar for the rest of us, did you?"
"Um, I'm sure there's some of the secret reserves still left?"
Buzzer grumbled and checked the various secret hiding holes they had to keep some various foodstuffs, including the sugar, out of Tofu's reach.
Unfortunately, all of it had already been found and looted by Tofu in the past two minutes. The sugar, the cookies, Sandra's emergency depression cake, everything.
"Sigh.... why did I expect anything different." Buzzer left to risk his life up on the surface for a dumb cup of coffee.
Tofu silently noted to himself Buzzer matches a lot of various popular archetypes. The spoiled princess. The damsel in distress. Flip his gender and give him big boobs, and he'd be the second most popular character in the series.
He didn't know how this was applicable to his current predicament of being childless, but as a being of logic he knew better to dismiss any observation out of hand. It might perhaps become relevant at some unexpected time in the distant future.
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Sandra and Socket were trying to process what Tofu had just said to them.
"So... you want to do a sex change operation on Buzzer... why again?"
".... I forgot."
"I'm up fer it if the lad is?"