Tofu asked around if anyone had seen his kids, but them kids, they ain't been seen.

A typical exchange would go something like this, probably:

"Hello Claw Girl. Hello Sandra. Sigh."

Claw Girl just ignored him and continued playing a video game on her phone. This one was called 'Bioweapon Fucker 5000'. It was about an escaped shape-shifting bioweapon and his evil brother, who infiltrated the super-villain Hellraiser's secret organization. Each stage involved a detective phase where you had to figure out who were the shapeshifters, followed by an execution phase where you had to fight them. The detective phase was always super easy, because the monster(s) were always the most brown-haired, bland tofu-looking teenage male in the base.

The entire thing seemed vaguely familiar. Claw Girl side-eyed Tofu for a bit, before shaking her head and going back to her game.

Sandra, being a more compliant mother-type figure, was more willing to indulge Tofu and his stupid shenanigans.

"Is something wrong, Tofu?"

"Yes. I seem to have misplaced my children. I can't feasibly give exposition on characters the audience has already formed an emotional attachment to, without them present. I can't explain how the two of you are fetish figures, like how Claw Girl ticks the checkbox for the 'mean big sister' requirement. Or how I can't be bothered to look up Claw Girl's name for this chapter."

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"Hm, I see. That's a very big problem." Sandra tried to avoid thinking about the perverts who wanted her to take care of all their life's problems way too much, by taking care of Tofu's stupid problem instead.

"I can put out an alert, if you like? It'll save you the time of having to ask everyone one by one."

Tofu was surprised. There's a procedure for finding missing children? It.. makes sense. These walking sandwiches seem to like their kids almost a third as much as they love rectangles.

"That would help a lot, Sandra. Thank you."

Tofu walked away, and continued to ask everyone if they'd seen his kids, one by one.

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By now some of our readers may have come to the conclusion 'the kids were eaten by Evil Tofu.' And we would laugh at them for being so obviously wrong.

This isn't that kind of anime. Children have plot armor in this universe. If you want to feel miserable, go watch Alien 3 again. It took the franchise's established sanctity of kitty chastity and on-screen child safety and spiked them right into a dumpster.

Oh thank god that cat didn't have to be in that movie...

Where were we again? The stupid missing kids plot? Yeah, don't worry. They're uh, taking a nap or something somewhere. I'll tell you as soon as I figure it out.