"...Excuse me? What was that you said, O Great Immortal Cultivator? Surely not to wash my...my backside..."

I cleared my throat, averting my eyes.

"Actually, that's exactly what I said. See, this cranky old bald wizard was so cranky that he decided to give you an embarrassing curse. He cursed you with a rune on your ass. Seeing as his cultivation wasn't strong enough to create a permanent curse, the curse should have washed away over time...but it seems..." I coughed again. "It seems it...well, it hasn't washed off. So...the cure will be to take a good bath and scrub well. That's all."

Dang. This was kind of super awkward. And not fair.

Did my first chance to make a name for myself as a legendary immortal in the cultivation world HAVE to involve this kind of crazy curse? The only thing I was doing was literally telling some guy to go and wash his ass! Ugh, whatever. Getting rid of a curse is getting rid of a curse.

"Oh!" I added. "I almost forgot. Since the cursed runes are connected to your town's lake, you'll need to bath in the lake. It might be kind of gross..." I glanced at the fishy, muddy water and winced. "But it's necessary. So, yeah. Have a ceremonial bath, or whatever. Just get the runes off, okay?"

"Yes! Yes, O Powerful Immortal! I will do so right away!" the poor, desperate old fisherman pressed his face into the dirt and groveled some more.

----------------------------------------

They actually took me seriously.

Later that day, a ceremonial bath was held in the nasty, dead-fish lake. They gave me a front-row seat and a dish of fried fish to accompany the show. I politely and very immortally declined.

The guy bathed for a whole half an hour to cheers and hooting from the desperate crowds.

And then, at last, he emerged and, thankfully, was wrapped up in a cloth right away. I did not need to feel like gouging my eyes or nose out anymore today.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

As soon as he climbed out of the pit, the water level began to rise. Slowly, before everyone's eyes, the muddy gray and dead-fish water cleared to a sparkling blue color and rose slowly but steadily until it filled the entire pit!

The Gu Lao De Hu was once again thriving and full! That is, except for all those dead fish bones floating around, but that wasn't my problem. The fishermen set about picking out fishbones with nets as everyone celebrated around the lake, and someone set off some definitely dangerous and illegal fireworks in the night sky.

I figured it was about time for me to leave. If I stayed any longer, it'd be hard to keep up my mysterious immortal cultivator image.

"Ahem!" I cleared my throat loudly. The fireworks were bursting like roaring dragons.

"AHEM!" This time, everyone quieted down and turned to look at me.

Dramatically, I called my Destiny Blade out of the air, to gasps of awe from the villagers. He he. I know, I know. It was cool AF.

"My name is Immortal Cultivator Xia Yue of the Glittering Mountains. I am glad to have helped this town. I will be leaving now."

Nice! Nailed that goodbye speech. I'd name-dropped and location-dropped. Now I could get all kinds of references when these villagers went to visit other towns! He he. That's business for you.

"Wait!" the old fisherman, who wasn't cursed anymore, cried out. Thankfully, he was fully dressed and dry again. "Generous Immortal Cultivator Xia Yue, please don't go yet! We have gifts for you!"

My eyes lit up, and I paused from mounting Destiny Blade.

"Gifts?...What kind of gifts, heh?"

Gold? Silk? A cool sword? This was gonna be my first-ever gift from villagers as an immortal cultivator!

The old fisherman held out an enormous basket of flopping silver fish. My nose twitched at the overwhelmingly fishy smell.

"Please accept these fresh-caught fish as a symbol of Yu Xiang Ye village's gratitude for your hard work! We will always remember you as the cultivator who saved our village, Immortal Cultivator Xia!"

"Heh...hem, he...Um...thank you." I took the basket to cheers and clapping from the villagers who had crowded around.

All right, then. Well...a gift is a gift, right?

I'd just have to find a place to bury these and make a nice compost to grow flowers somewhere near my cave. No use telling these people that I 1) preferred not to eat unless the food was crazy delicious, and 2) agreed with that crazy old demonic wizard that the fish in this village smelled so strong they made my eyes water.

Eyes watering, I mounted Destiny Blade and flew off, waving at the first group of people I'd helped.

"Hey, xianxia system! How's that for making a name for myself, heh?"

"The xianxia system applauds you. Congratulations on your accomplishment. Please continue to work hard."

I grumbled. "Yeah, yeah. I'll take it at my own pace. Here I come, immortal fame!"