I stepped inside the sapphire-tinged cave, gaping at the practically glowing walls.

Dang! Why had this cave been abandoned, seriously?! It was...literally the most beautiful place I'd ever freaking seen in my entire life! My entire two lives!

The walls were a beautiful azure blue, like a tropical ocean, and glittering like smooth crystals. They seemed to be glowing from within with some kind of soft blue light. I felt like a bunch of tiny little blueberry fairies were gonna appear out of nowhere and surround me. It was...mystical!

Which really matched the amounts of dormant qi and mystical spiritual energy saturating the air. Whew! I felt like I was about to swoon. The sense of spiritual energy in the air was so strong that I felt like I was swimming through it. The air was practically humming.

"All right, xianxia system! Where should I settle down. And make sure you count this as my second time talking to you today, got it?"

The xianxia system predicts that the levels of mystical spiritual energy will be thickest approximately five li inside of the Caves of Gū Shān Mìdòng. Your second communication in twenty-four hours with the xianxia system has been noted.

"All right! Further down, it is. Whew, I'm getting a real buzz from all this qi!" I laughed and started walking forward, then I abruptly stopped and coughed. That phrase has sounded a little weird. I assure you, I was not doing drugs. Or energy drinks. Only qi for this immortal!

I hummed as I traveled farther down into the cave, clasping my beautiful immortal hands behind my back in a very professional immortal way. After I'd walked for some time, the qi was so strong that I felt like my whole body was glowing.

Seemed liked a good place!

I'd walked straight into a crystal chamber. It was high-ceilinged and round, and filled with sapphire-blue crystals that glittered like diamonds all around. If this had been in my previous life, it definitely would've been marked as an international treasure. Or not. Maybe people would've mined out all the crystals to make cellphones or something. Anyhow!

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I pressed my hand against the ground, which was cool to the touch.

Rumble, rumble.

A round, smooth platform rose out of the ground.

I crawled up onto it, adjusted my robes, and sat straight up, breathing in the almost sweet-smelling qi floating in the air.

Ahh...so refreshing.

"All right. Time to meditate," I announced to no one. Then I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply, and...well, began to meditate.

I felt the immortal blood rushing through my veins, cooling as my bodily functions slowed. My heartbeat grew louder, steady and thumping in my ears.

Thump, thump, thump.

Soon enough, I was separated from the mortal world, and my mind was floating in my own space of meditation. My divine sense revealed the qi floating through the air like azure swirls of mist, furling and unfurling. With every breath, a cloud of mystical energy entered my lips and dispersed into my lungs. Every time I breathed out, stale qi scattered into the air.

This was great. I was like a qi-refining machine. I could practically feel myself ascending to new levels of immortality!

Suddenly, as I was mentally floating in spiritual peace, everything...

Glitched.

My eyebrows twitched.

What the heck was that?

One minute, everything was furling and unfurling clouds of fresh azure qi...and the next, I'd seen...

A cup of instant noodles?!

My heartbeat suddenly sped up. It echoed in my ears, badump-badump, badump-badump.

That...was my cup of noodles.

The cup of noodles I'd freaking choked and died on. In my previous life!

What the freak was this?!?!?!?!

Now, the swirling clouds of qi had returned, peacefully twirling around me. Then, everything glitched again. It was like a computer screen, but more streaky: everything got pixelated and the colors stretched, and then, there were the instant noodles again!

There they were, in my hand. In my other hand were a pair of chopsticks, and I was lifting the instant noodles to my mouth...and then, there was a choking sensation, and everything went black...

Gasp!

I gasped, and my eyes shot open. Shit. What was that?! I'd snapped out of my meditation state, and now I was totally awake, sitting on this crystal blue platform with my heart pounding in my immortal ears.

Staring right at me from inches away, was a beautiful white face so pale that it looked like the face of a milky ghost. Two enormous, glittering scarlet eyes blinked at me. From all around, a deep female voice sounded, rumbling in the room. It sounded somewhere between curious and angry.

"What an interesting past life, in a strange world...You do not belong here. What are you doing in my cave, immortal?