All right, let's get something straight, first.

Every high level cultivator—or basically any cultivator who's done their studying—knows that forbidden techniques are forbidden fro a reason.

Sure, forbidden techniques are usually hella cool and can give you the ability to do all kinds of godly things...but they usually come with a price. You know—something like costing half your qi, making you shrivel up the more you use it, turning you into a demonic cultivator with a lust for blood. That kind of thing. Giving up something important to you in exchange for power.

Forbidden techniques are also usually kept a secret by the clans that created them, because, well...they're, um forbidden. Spreading them could lead to a shit ton of havoc. Also, some clans treated their forbidden techniques like secret soup recipes: they didn't let anybody outside of the restaurant (cough, I mean clan) learn the techniques in order to gatekeep them and build up a mysterious and powerful reputation as a clan.

So, if I had to guess why this powerful mountain spirits of the Caves of Gū Shān Mìdòng wanted to teach me a forbidden technique in exchange for me sitting on my butt in her territory for a year...

It was probably because she had no one else to pass her technique onto. She wasn't part of a clan; she was a lone spirit sworn to protect these caves. And she'd been alone for freaking eight hundred years! Of course she'd want to spread her signature technique a little after being holed up in here all alone with no one to show it to for so freaking long!

I cleared my throat, not sure whether to feel more excited at the idea of learning an ancient spirit's forbidden technique, or nervous about what the cost might be.

"Great Spirit Xiangshi...what is this forbidden technique that you wish to teach me?"

Xiangshi curled her red lip in irritation, staring down at me very intimidatingly (though I got the feeling that was just how she looked at everyone).

"Drop the 'Great Spirit'. Call me Xiangshi from now on. Got it?"

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I bowed my head slightly. Dang. Wasn't that...kind of informal for an ancient spirit like her? Was she that lonely that she wanted me to talk to her like an old friend?

"Um...yes, Great—I mean, yes, Xiangshi. Cough."

Xiangshi nodded, seeming satisfied. She was still floating up and down precariously in the air, the scarlet folds of her robes fluttering even though there was no wind. You know—like in the movies in my past life, when the heroine's hair would just flutter perfectly because they had a fan behind the screen. Except, there were no fans. Xiangshi was just...that hot. I mean, that powerful, cough.

"I will teach you..." Xiangshi began dramatically, examining her nails for the thousandth time. "The forbidden Uncontrollable Laughter Technique!"

I blinked.

Once, twice.

...Huh?

What the heck was the Uncontrollable Laughter Technique??? It sounded like a technique for...for freaking making people laugh uncontrollably! What kind of forbidden technique name was that?!?!?!

"Ah..." I laughed nervously, folding my hands together politely in front of myself. "This technique sounds very, um, intriguing. What is it that this great forbidden technique accomplishes? I have never heard of it before."

Xiangshi snorted, dropping her hand and rolling her glittering hot eyes. I mean, cough, black eyes.

"Of course you have never heard of it, immortal. It is a secret, as most forbidden techniques are. It was invented many thousands of years ago by the Liu Chenyang, the god of mischief...my father."

"Ah," I nodded. Then I froze.

Hold on.

WHAT?!?!?!?!

"Liu Chenyang, the god of mischief?" I spluttered. "Isn't he just a myth? Like all the gods? And—what? Your father?!?!?!!?!?! I mean—" I coughed violently, folding my hands again and bowing my head in a professional immortal way. "Of course. That makes perfect sense. This immortal is not confused at all."

Another snort came from Xiangshi. In front of me, she floated down until she sat cross-legged on the sparkling blue ground. Dang—it was a little hard to tell before, but now, I was sure of it. She was bigger than a human, probably one and a half times as big. Which meant one and a half times the hotness—cough, I mean one and a half times the powerful spiritual aura, heh. Her aura was so strong now that I choked again on the sweet smell. My head felt like it was buzzing.

"No need to act like you knew, immortal," she muttered, rolling her eyes. She seemed to like rolling her eyes a lot. "Most mortals and immortals alike do not believe in the gods in this age. They have separated themselves from the human realm for many thousands of years, after all. Leaving me here like the terrible father he is," she hissed, glaring up at the sparkling blue ceiling as if the gods were gathered there.